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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (01-09-2020)

Vinnie Lane clobbers Thunder Dickless with Ghost Tank's bedpan, knocking him instantly unconscious and certainly infecting him with some sort of flesh eating bacteria. He tosses the pan and the three layers of latex gloves he's wearing into a nearby fire that's apparently been burning in Shane

's old office for like three weeks with no one reporting it. Cool.

Vinnie sits on TK's chest.

"Sup, dude!

Listen, I've been thinking... you're kinda embarrassing. Like, more than a little. People scrape and claw and fight their whole lives to hold XWF gold, my guy! You're just farting into the wind over here, taking bribes and taking dives left and right... it's sad! Real sad!

Think about it... what would your Jewish grandparents think about your money grubbing? They survived Sobibor for this? And their two children, your parents? What would they have to say?? After going through Ilhan Omar's Li'l Sibling Marriage Chapel and consummating their love while sliding down the smooth, straight trunk of the Knuckles Family Tree, did you think they were hoping their combined identical DNA was going to produce some sort of mongoloid who sells out? NO! They thought they were conceiving a mongoloid with MORALS. You've basically made us winning WW2 moot, dude.

Anyway, let's just get down to brass tacks. I'll cut you a check for 35 Xbux to stay down. That'll more than cover the Lysol you definitely need to spray on that unkempt man-fro you've got going on unless you actually want GT's old person poop disease. You'll have enough left over for a sandwich at the Carnegie Deli.

Let's be honest, we both know you're taking this deal... it's like a fetish for you. Let's just go ahead and get it done so I can get home in time to go to bed by 8 PM."

Vinnie produces a checkbook and starts writing across his checks, decorated with various Pokemon, in fancy cursive.... not like these millenials today.

"Wait 'til next week to depost this, 'kay dude?"

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Thunder Knuckles™ · (01-10-2020)

Thunder Knuckles wakes up to Vinnie on his chest before the 3 count and Kicks out!

I hope you can see the smile on my face because I kicked out on my first try… Take notes, everybody.

Come on Vinnie, I've been watching you walking back and forth thinking to yourself and sometimes out loud... "Man is this even worth it?". Then you finally got the balls to walk over and say something...without the money you already owe me which is SEVEN THOUSAND xbux and offer me thirty-five xbux.

Shake my damn head… And that was it? Really, mother fucker?! That was the best you could do? Xbux, blah. blah. blah. You'll see the power of xbux soon enough, Vinnie. Mark my words right here, right now. You will be jealous.

Do you want to know why you lost? It's because you didn't call the only belt that fucking matters by its proper fucking name. The XBUX Championship! You dimwitted fuck. That says something coming from me. But xbux won’t be the determining factor here today, not for you, you still owe xbux.

What have you done lately? Last I checked Fuzz handed you your ass? Good for you. Me… I lost to a hell of an athlete in Madison Dyson. Hard fought battle too.

Your promo was a fucking turd, wasn't it? Be honest with yourself mother fucker. When you can come up with the money you owe me. We will talk about you getting this belt. THE ONLY BELT THAT MATTERS! The XBUX CHAMPIONSHIP. Now take your late 80’s dressed ass back to the office and cut my check, not from your personal checking account, like your trying to access now.

By the way, after this, you’ll be owing me FOURTEEN THOUSAND xbux for my title defense, thanks for contributing your stupid fuck. Remember the only true disgrace is you not paying your employees as they deserve.

**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (01-10-2020)

Vinnie dusts himself off, then uses his Tae Kwon Do skills to drop Tender Nipples on his behind.

"Dude, what? Are you joking me? You are, right? What promo? What 'walking back and forth?' I've been hard at work just like always expanding this XWF brand across the globe, baby! Look what we accomplished JUST in 2019! A whole new exciting brand! Two new championships! We've had some of the most exciting title matches and title changes in history within the last 12 months alone... who do you think is the business genius who came up with all of it? Who do you think put the General Managers in positions to utilize their skills properly? It was NUMERO UNO, my dude!

And you've done... what? Agree to be Madison Dyson's fluff boy for a night to make her feel good about herself? Puh-leaze. She could have blown her nose into an aloe-infused Kleenex and gotten the same crowd reaction as she did rolling you around the ring like a pig in a blanket.

Also, you might not have noticed - probably since your immune system is fighting that hyperstrong Staph-Fungus combo that Tank has on his mossy scrotum... but I didn't call this title ANYthing. You know why? Because going by your adorable moniker is an insult to the great Sidney Poitier Feder, the silver-tongued demon who talked at LEAST three roster members into suicide right in this very hallowed hallway. Reducing his memory to some pocket change is offensive. Sid is rolling around in his grave with his pecker inside your grandma's urn just like he asked for in his last will and testament because YOU are sullying his good name by being a cheap weenie.

By the way, you might have noticed that every check that comes in and out of this place has MY signature on it. That comes with some perks, dude! Hey you, new guy referee who counted this pin... what's your name?"

Vinnie points at a skinny ginger kid in an ill-fitting ref shirt.

"Uh... I'm Scott, sir? You hired me this morning?"

"You count way too slow. You're fired."

"WHAT??"

"You, over there with the mail cart... who are you?"

"Me? I'm Ari, Mister Lane. I deliver the mail."

"Sweet. You're a referee now. Take Scotty's shirt and get ready."

"Awesome! I also have a really cool Souncloud if I could just get you to..."

"No. See that, Knucks? I'm the man around here. As such, the rules are pretty much up to me! Maybe you should review the Federweight Payouts again sometime, instead of just assuming crap. Oh, hold still."

Vinnie produces a clear plastic tube and jams it into TK's mouth. He then pulls a pet store goldfish in a plastic baggie out of his fanny pack and dumps it into the tube, where it swims straight down into Thunder Knuckles' gullet.

"You're gonna wanna get that out soon, my man. It's got Ick."

Vinnie pins TK.

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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · **01-10-2020, 07:54 AM**

Vinnie prods the motionless Thunder Knuckles.

"Where you at, Knucky?

Just gonna admit defeat?"

Vinnie pulls out a stethoscops and listens to TK's abdomen, hearing the goldfish full of fish AIDS swimming around happily.

**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · **01-13-2020, 08:37 AM**

Vinnie declares himself champion because he's bored and tired of waiting for someone else to do it.

Atticus is gonna get a big hit in his quarterly bonus for this...

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