"Alright folks, my next guest is a legend in the land of the X-Treme, who built his legacy and trademark style upon the foundation of ultra violence. He's teamed with and battled some of the very best. With one thing always remaining the same, the entertainment value. A former wearer of several titles, he retains the honor of being the longest reigning, tag team champion, to date. Wielding the belt alongside Sebastian Duke, for a whopping 231 Days. This Saturday night on Savage, he will be taking on Sarah Lachlan. Please welcome my guest... Griffin 'The Mechanic' MacAlister."


The audience gives an immensely enthusiastic reaction as Griffin MacAlister strolled out, nonchalantly. Smirking as he momentarily stopped and gazed out at the crowd, MacAlister is rockin' a pair of sunglasses, despite being indoors. Dressed in a black G.B.H t-shirt, jeans and a pair of black steel toe boots (the steel capped on the outside of the boots, gleaming menacingly in the stage lights), Griffin still remains the picture of punk rock and rebellion. Even after all these years. Turning his attention to the one and only - Conan O'Brien, Griffin marched straight towards the late night talk show sensation and shook Conan's hand. It's a strong, sturdy handshake and one that's given out of respect. Following this act, he placed his focus on Andy Richter and repeated the process. Promptly taking a seat afterward.


"First things first."


Conan chuckled.


"I gotta ask."


Another laugh.


"What's with the sunglasses?"


"Oh well, that's simple Conan, the stage lights are wicked bright and I have sensitive eyes."


"Is that right? Sensitive eyes?"


"Absolutely. It's also why I carry a bottle of 'Clear Eyes' with me, to every event that I attend. I mean, this is serious business... no joke, I can't be getting blinded in the ring."


"As long as we're bringing up points of interest."


Andy interjected, briefly shaking his pointer finger in the air, almost in the same fashion that a news anchor or politician might do, when they bring up a significant piece of information.


"I noticed something rather curious when I passed Griffin's dressing room. There was a considerable amount of smoke, seeping from underneath the door."


Snickering softly to himself, Griffin rested his elbow on the arm rest of his chair and covered his face.


"Oh no! Smoke was billowing out from under Griffin's door!"


Feigned look of shock. Fully equipped with wide eyes and raised brows.


"What did you do my faithful sidekick, did you fetch the closest fire marshal and obtain assistance? Our guest could have been in serious trouble."



"I was going to do something but..."


A downcast expression of shame, Andy stared at his shoes.


"By the time I got to the end of the hall, all I could think about was burritos and got lost at the food truck that's usually parked in the back lot of the studio."


It was at this moment, a look of concern crossed Conan's face. Gazing off to the camera, his eyes narrowed as he appeared to internally attempt to make sense of something that he couldn't quite comprehend. This lasted several seconds and then, he looked back at Andy, seemingly somewhat distraught and slightly disgusted.


"We get our food catered. There's no food truck that parks back there. Were you rooting around in the dumpster again? I thought I told you if you were going to do that, you had to go at least four studio lots over."


That was all that it required to make Andy proclaim aloud, as he emphasized his words by tossing his hands up in the air in exasperation.


"You expect me to keep track of all your demands! It's a wonder that I show up wearing pants!"


Immediately lowering his hand from his face, Griffin regarded Andy and pretended to be taken aback by the outburst. Laughter accenting his voice as he spoke.


"No shit? Well, allow me to extend my appreciation and thank you for remembering to do that, when I first took up workin' for the XWF, I was Shane's 'enforcer' and he didn't always do that. It was a Russian Roulette of sorts back then, except instead of receiving a bullet injection into the side of your brain, you got an eyeful of cock. If you were lucky. Those were the days of the wild west back then. Trust me when I say, that wasn't the worst thing that you could witness, when he decided it was time to get up from his desk."


Overtaken by a shudder, Griffin shook his head and sighed.


"Boy... am I glad that I hit that flame ass dro before I came out here, otherwise I'd be havin' Nam worthy flashbacks right now. The XWF is a dark and scary place Conan, there are some things that happen that you can never unsee."


With a grin, Griffin settled back in his seat and lifted his sunglasses. His actions were quick though and no sooner did they rise, they were back to resting comfortably on his face.


"Luckily, in those instances, there's always pot. Oh and you're welcome for the hit Andy. There's more where that came from too, you just stay fully clothed and I'll hook you up."


"And there goes all my sponsors."


"Hey, I felt I had to come clean and be straight with ya, after Andy dropped that bomb... I was startin' to feel a little guilty."


"Yet another innocent, tragically falls victim to guilt, brought on by Andy Richter."


"It's how I still have a job, a wife and continue to avoid hard time and maintain my freedom, whilst committing a multitude of crimes. Most of them felonies."


Whispers.


"Interns. That's really the ticket to the latter."


"Good to know. Thanks for the tip. Except the only hell raisin' that I commit to these days, happens in the ring. I have a legitimate business that I run, a lady that treats me right that I come home to every night and a decent place to live. Might seem kinda boring but after all the shit I pulled off... and seen, it's nice to have the stability. Plus there's also the kid."


"The kid?"


"My gal, Lila has a son. His name is Grey and bringing trouble to our doorstep wouldn't be the best or brightest idea."


"That's right, you're in a relationship with Lila Laroque. Azrael Erebus' daughter."


"Yep, that is a true fact."


"No wonder you want to remain on your best behavior."


"Haha! Yeah, the fear of having an enraged spaceman after ya, that's some mighty powerful inspiration to stay on the straight and narrow. I remember this one day we were talking, casually shootin' the shit. This was around the time that Lila and I first moved in together and out of nowhere, he turned to me and said, totally straight faced. 'Griffin, you need to understand something, I've incinerated planets... entire worlds, how much effort do you think it would take to burn you alive? You? A single, solitary man? Break my daughter's heart and you will find this out. First hand. This I promise you.' Naturally I have no intention of ever doing such a thing but in that precise instant, I had the fear of god put in me."


"Completely understandable. I think if I had been in your shoes, I would have instantly gone into the fetal position and swiftly soiled myself as I softly sobbed. What did you do?"


"Took a drag from my cigarette, looked him directly in the eye and told him he had nothing to worry about. Then he shook my hand and went inside cause we were having this discussion on the balcony. Can't smoke around the shorty. So he walked back into the apartment and I collapsed."


"Wait. You collapsed?"


"Like a sack of so many potatoes. I fucking dropped. Had to use the railing to pull myself up. The whole time I'm showcasing this display of manliness, I'm also peeping through the window, hoping no one seen. My heart thundering in my chest. Hyperventilating. It was intense."


"You are aware the cameras are actually running and Andy and I, don't simply act out and make believe that we have a talk show as some sort of psychotherapy session. You just admitted to everything on television."


"I have a plan for that."


"Which is?"


"Deny. Deny. Deny. When that doesn't work, I'll say I was high and havin' a laugh. Awww... man, I confessed my plan. Now I'm going to have to make sure this broadcast, never sees the light of day."


"Okay, you're obviously joking because there's no way, you could pull that off."


Nervous, shifty eyes.


"You couldn't do that, could you?"


"I have my ways."


Pause.


"Nah. I'm only messin' with you. I wouldn't pull any shiesty ass shenanigans like that. I'm walking on the side of the angels now."


"Good to know... good to know. Anyway, our time is almost over but before I end this interview, I want to talk about your match on Savage Saturday Night. You're set to face Sarah Lachlan. A woman that's dominated in the ring since day one, despite her size and weight."


"The girl is a borderline midget, soaking wet she's gotta be less than ninety pounds. I don't get or understand her success but in this day and age, the impossible is possible. We got a zombie running amok and a time traveling femme fatale that locked herself away in a teenager's brain. Aliens, witches, a robot and a dude that can turn invisible. My half brother is an inter-dimensional, demi-god and I'm a living weapon, conditioned and trained for battle. Who am I to question Sarah Lachlan's legitimacy? That would make me no better than the fools that feel the need to deny reality and doubt the existence of the ones that are different because it's easier to shut your eyes and declare it's all a sham and nothing more. A ruse. The truth is too scary, it's safer to stay under the metaphorical covers and live in the lie. Sarah's clearly doing something right, look at her history and performances in the ring, thus far. It can't all be fake or doctored footage, the XWF doesn't have that kind of funding for that insanity... the company doesn't even offer insurance, if you get hurt, you get bus fare and a pat on the head for luck. And if the girl is out there, drugging folks in a capacity that ensures her victory every, single time, she's gotta be some sort of fuckin' ninja, assassin. Climbing up the sides of buildings and stalking shadows. I don't buy that bullshit either. There could very well be an explanation but people need to start thinking outside of the box cause their excuses don't make sense."


"Does that mean you assume that you won't claim the win tomorrow."


"No, nothing like that, I just won't underestimate my opponent. I know I can endure whatever punishment my opponent unleashes, there's nothing she can do to put me out of commission and this mechanic will always live to fight another day. So worst case scenario, that's what I'll do and next time, I'll be better prepared. "


"Inspiring words. I look forward to your match. It should be a helluva fight."


"Thanks Conan."


"Would you be willing to return on a later date for a future interview?"


"Fuck yeah!."