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B.O.B. D · (09-02-2019)

I had arrived at Savage, a few hours before it was set to start. Though I wasn't there to compete, that didn't mean I didn't have plans to make an appearance. That was meant for later on in the evening, before that happened, I had something else in mind: playing games. And I don't mean that as a metaphor for kicking someone's ass, I literally meant I was there to play a few board games prior to the show.

I peered into the lockeroom and saw it was rather empty with the exception of XWF head referee, Chaz Bobo, and XWF resident interviewer, Steve Sayors. The two of them looked bored, as Bobo was laying on a bench staring up at the ceiling and Sayors was attempting to spin his microphone in his palm, but failing miserably.

"Hey, guys......" I said to the them, causing them to look at me. "You wanna play a board game?"

"You mean like Monopoly?" Steve inquired as his eyes beamed with excitement.

"Or The Game of Life?" the possibly trans Chaz asked, knowing he was already playing his own game of life deep down.

"Nooooooo," I responded, before pulling one of the games I brought from out of their view and pitching it like a kid in a commercial. "This game is called, Master Mind! You take turns moving around the board, answering trivia questions, and completing various tasks related to the wrestler!"

"Woah!" the pair responded as they checked out the box. On the cover in bold, red letters was the game's title and in the corner was the 'company' that made it, Big D Games. It showed a generic picture of Mastermind and had a variety of stereotypical Australian things, like kangaroos, boomerangs, and even the country itself; along with a picture of an injured knee and the Xtreme Championship.

"So are we playing this thing or what?" I asked, wanting to test out the new game I created.

"I think we should have time," Chaz said looking at Steve. "Savage doesn't start for a couple hours."

"I'm down," Sayors agrees, as they handed me back the box to set it up.

I opened it up and pulled the board out. It was pretty simple looking, just an M divided into two parts. You start at the bottom of the first one and loop your way around to the second one until you've made your way to the end. The spots were color coded, very badly, with yellow being trivia spaces, red being an action, and white being spaces you do what it says on them, such as skipping a turn or going forward or back so many spaces.

"What pieces do you guys want to be?" I asked, holding out the choices. All of them were metal and you could be a kangaroo, a boomerang, shrimp on the barbie, or even Mastermind himself. Steve chose the shrimp and Chaz picked the kangaroo. Since I had little desire to be Mastermind, I decided to be the boomerang. All three of us placed our pieces at the starting line and shuffled up the trivia deck of cards, as well as the actions. After that had been done, we were ready to go.

"Who goes first?" Chaz questioned, just like their sexuality.

"The rules state the biggest Mastermind fan," I explained. "Which definitely ain't me!"

"Well, I'm a ref and have to be impartial, so that leaves me out," Bobo stated. We both looked at Sayors, who shrugged and grabbed the 6 sided die. He shook it in his hand like he probably does to his dick every night and tossed it onto the board revealing a 2.

"Trivia," Sayors revealed as he placed his piece on the space. I grabbed the top card if the trivia deck and began to read it to Steve.

"True or false, Mastermind pinned Big D at War Games. If you get it wrong, you have to skip your next turn."

"Oh, that's easy," Steve responded with a cocky grin. "True! I just got done watching Mastermind's promos where he talks about that."

"I see......." I said as I examined the card. "Well, it sounds to me like he needs to get his facts straight because the answer is FALSE. He actually made me tap out, but even that's a stretch considering I only did it to stay fresh for my match with Robert Main."

I motioned for the head referee to go next, who was happy to oblige. He rolled the die, revealing a high 6. That roll made him land on an Action space, so he drew an action card and read it aloud.

"Hop up and down like a kangaroo to take another turn," he read, a bit confused.

"Damn!" I complained with a snap of my finger. "That's like the best action in the game!"

A little hesitant, Chaz stood up and hopped like the marsupial he was supposed to mimic. After doing this for a moment, he sat back down and rolled the dice once more. This time he wasn't so lucky, getting a 1 and being forced to skip his next turn.

"My turn," I exclaimed as I grabbed the 6 sided and rolled. "Three...... God dammit." My roll sent me to a 'Go Back To Start' space, which I begrudgingly did. Luckily my opponents had to skip their turns, so I rolled again.

"Damn, another three," Chaz said with hesitation, sensing my frustration with having to go back to start, once again.

We played that game for about half an hour, with Sayors and Bobo getting really good rolls. Even though they were horrible with the trivia questions, my habit of having to go back spaces made up for them skipping their turns. The game was coming to an end, with me completely out of the running, with Steve just three spaces away from the finish line. He had just landed on another trivia space, this one being quite the toughy.

"What does 'Aroha mai Koro' mean?" I asked him, as he began to pick his brain. "Is it A. Sorry Respect Elder; B. She Is One Beautiful Lady; C. That's Okay; or D. Who Fucking Cares?" Steve continued to dig through his memory from Mastermind's latest promo, before stumbling across what he believed was correct.

"I believe that means 'Sorry Respected Elder'," he answered, pretty sure of himself.

"WRONG!" I blurted out like an asshole. "The answer is D. Who Fucking Cares?"

"I don't think that's right," Chaz Bobo tried to point out. "That doesn't even seem like a real answer......."

"Do you wanna win or not, Chaz?" I asked with a sigh of annoyance.

"I mean, I DID until I realized this was just a game you made up to mock Mastermind......" he replied with an unsure look.

"Well, if you want to just say Steve wins, we can," I huffed, relieved to be done with this game I had no chance of winning. "Here's your prize, Steve."

I reached into the box and pulled out an Expo marker and a little whiteboard that was cut in the shape of a t-shirt. It already had the words 'I Mastered _______'s Mind' written in permanent marker on it, the blank being left for the winner to fill in their opponents' names. Steve happily took the items from me and wrote 'Chaz and D's' in the corresponding spot.

"Fuck you, Steve!" I burst out in anger. "If anything mastered my mind, it was that fucking D6!" I picked up the die and tossed it across the lockeroom, losing it in the process. The three of us sat there in silence for a bit, before I made another suggestion. "I have another game, if you want to play another one."

"I don't know," Chaz sighed with a stretch of the arms. "I need to stretch for the show tonight and get myself mentally prepared."

"You're a fucking referee!" I yelled. "Your job consists of counting to three, I think you'll be fine. Besides, this game is alot simpler, it's for ages 5 and up."

"I'd be down for a quick game," Steve said with a smirk. That asshole just wanted another chance to gloat about something since it's not like he can win at much in his pathetic excuse for a life. "What is it, Don't Break the Ice?"

"Hopefully it's Ants in the Pants," Chaz beamed hopefully.

"Nope, this game's even better," I promised before pulling the box out of thin air like a magician. "It's called 'Super Dick!'" I presented them with the box, which had a cartoonish charicature of Peter Gilmour on it, with his arms at his side and a big ole stiffy in his pants.

"..............a game called SUPER DICK is for ages 5 and up?" Chaz Bobo questioned with a look of shock.

"That's what the box says, doesn't it?" I shot back. Bobo's eyes went from Gilly's massive schlong to the gaming company, once again, brandished in my name. "Come on, it'll be as quick and easy as Gilly getting rejected."

We unboxed the game, revealing a board very similar to 'Master Mind.' It was linear, with a start to finish, and had different colored spaces as the previous game. There were no trivia spots to land on, nor action spaces, instead consisting mostly of instructions on the spaces themselves, as well as blank ones.

"Seems simple enough," Steve said with a bit of confidence in his voice that I wanted to shut down. "What's the object of the game, just get to the end before everyone else?"

"Sort of," I responded, reaching into the box for the game pieces. I pulled out a handful of tiny, different colored penises to be used as our board markers. "We each get a dick to use to move around the board with......." I then pulled out a cardboard version of Gilly from the be art, only instead of having a dick, there was just a little protrusion for something to be snapped on to. "As we move around the board, we'll acquire segments that snap onto our character's crotch. The winner is whoever has the most pieces on their Gilly after all players have finished, aka whoever has the biggest Super Dick."

Chaz and Steve looked at each other, not sure whether they thought my game idea was dumb or genius. Whatever the case, it wasn't gonna prevent them from giving it a try. Which I was happy about, because not only did I want to test it out, I also had a better shot at winning. With the way the rules were, rolling low had no negative effect since the game doesn't end until everyone's finished.

"Since I got my ass kicked in the last one, I'm going first," I insisted stubbornly, snatching up the D6 like a selfish child. Of course I rolled a 6, the first one all day. I moved my black penis piece and landed on a spot that said 'Add 3 Dick Pieces To Your Gilly.' It was a good thing I decided to reward someone for a high roll out the gate when I was creating the game.

"Go ahead, Chaz," Steve insisted as he motioned for the ref to go before him. Chaz shook the die in his hand for a moment, before rolling a low 2. His spot read 'You Have a Hot Goth Manager, But Are Too Gay to Bang Her. Lose a Turn.'

"What the hell?" Bobo complained, possibly offended.

"Hey, it describes Peter pretty well," I argued, before handing the die to an eager Steve Sayors. He made his roll like he was a Vegas gambler shootin' craps. It paid off as he also got a 6 and added three penis pieces to his character, too. I gave him a death glare before taking my turn, going back to my low rolling habit with a mere 2.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered as I landed on my spot, before reading it out loud. "Nobody in XWF Respects You, Despite The Size of Your Junk. Lose 2 Dicks Pieces........ Dammit!" I yanked two of the rings off my Gilly character and chucked them back in the box.

"So if Chaz is skipped, I guess that's back to me," Sayors spoke with arrogance as he made his roll. "Let's see, a 3, that puts me here." He made his move and read the space. "You Get Lucky And Become Xtreme Champion For a Minute. Add 2 Penis Pieces To Your Gilly."

"I don't think Gilmour's the only lucky one," I mumbled as he followed the instructions and added the pieces to his character.

I grabbed the 6-sided die and rolled it, hoping I could share in the luck. While it seemed like I was, at first, with the high result of a 5, the spot itself wasn't so great.

"You Lose Another High Profile Matches and It Ruins Your Confidence, Lose 2 Dick Pieces," I read before throwing my arms up, annoyed I couldn't even win a game I created. "Can things PLEASE start going my way?!"

They didn't. We played this game for about 10 more minutes, following all the instructions with every spot we landed on. I kept rolling high, finishing before my other two competitors despite not having a very big dick. Steve Sayors, on the other hand, landed on just about every spot that added pieces to his Gilly; ending up with a dick so super, his character was falling forward from all the weight. And finally, Chaz barely had any pieces on his cardboard cutout, switching between landing on spaces that sent him back or ones that removed segments from his Gilly.

"I think we can call this one, too," Bobo said, rising to his feet. "I'm still only halfway to the end and I don't see myself catching up to Steve's penis."

"That's probably the only time he's ever heard that," I mocked, before giving Sayors an overly hard slap on the back.

"Is there a prize for the winner of this game?" he asked, wincing in pain.

"No," I replied with a head shake. "Being Peter Gilmour isn't something to celebrate."

I rose to my feet and stretched, a little stiff from sitting on the concrete floor for so long. Chaz bid is both adieu, before walking away to do ref stuff as Steve Sayors also stood up.

"Well, I suppose I bet go get ready for the show," he said, still full of himself over winning two stupid games. "Hopefully you have better luck in the ring than you do at board games."

"Ha, ha," I sarcastically remarked as he skipped out of the lockeroom like he'd just won the Powerball.

I stood there for a bit, watching as a few wrestlers made their way in. They each had their own agenda for that night's Savage, just like me. But considering it wasn't gonna start for a little bit yet, I decided to make my way out to the vacant arena.

I walked onto the ramp and looked out among the sea of empty seats. In a matter of a couple hours, they were gonna be filled with screaming fans begging to see what would come of the Tag Team Tournament, among the rest of the matches that filled the card. Even though I wasn't wrestling, that didn't mean they weren't gonna get an appearance by Big D at some point in the night. But for now, I had other business to take care of.

I made my way down the aisle, walking past the crewmen who setting everything up for that night's spectacle. They were finished with the ring, which was good, because that's exactly where I was heading. I walked up the steel steps and onto the apron, before climbing into the ring. I ran my hand along the ropes, taking in the serenity of being in the ring without thousands of screaming fans. It was quite peaceful, and yet at the same time pumped me up for my future. From what would go down later in the night, to my match with Mastermind and Gilly, I felt in a different zone that I ever had been.

"Mastermind and Peter Gilmour have taken too many blows to the head, it appears. One of them seems to think I made it to the end at War Games, and the other believes he pinned me for the 1, 2, 3. Is it that hard to check your facts? Does video evidence not exist anymore? Gilly, I wasn't a survivor in our War Games match, I even mentioned it in my last promo. And Mastermind, while it's true you DID eliminate me that night, it wasn't by pinfall. As was also mentioned in my last promo, along with quite a few after the Pay-per-view, I tapped out to your submission maneuver because I had faith in my teammates to finish the job for me. And I was right."

"The two of you, along with the rest of XWF, are so quick to discredit me for my leadership in that match. While I may not have been there in the end, A. Neither were either of you two, and Peter, I STILL lasted longer than you! And B. don't we give coaches credit for wins in other sports? Just because the team's leader isn't on the field, doesn't mean they didn't do anything to help lead them to victory. Whether it was the damage I dished out before my early exit or my speech I gave backstage beforehand, I played my part in earning a Universal Title shot and those ARE the facts. You can make fun of me for speaking the Cold Big D Truth, but YOU'RE the ones who can't even remember what actually happened in that match!"

"Mastermind, you claim to admire me but I can tell you the feeling is NOT mutual. The way you talk down to me, acting like I haven't accomplished anything, just shows you don't know enough about my career to even make that sort of judgment. And I'm not even talking about being a former NWF Champion, no, I'm merely talking out my XWF career. You claim I've only been here for five minutes and haven't done anything to warrant a Universal Title shot?! You obviously didn't see me take Robert Main to the limit in the shot I HAD, something you bragged about doing with other former Champions. Well, not only did I take Main to the limit, but I also wasn't the reason I didn't walk out if that match as Champion! Give Donovan Blackwater a call, I think his number is 1-800-LackofEffort, maybe you two can discuss getting pinned by Universal Champions together."

"If you want to discuss people who haven't accomplished anything in this business, maybe we can have a chat about your mentor, Outback Jack. For crying out loud, 'mind, I know there aren't alot of Australian wrestlers for you to look up to, but come on! Even Nathan Jones has accomplished more than that AGK honorary membership card holder! It's amazing you've accomplished ANYTHING in your career being trained by that WWF reject. So before you criticize me for the things I'VE done, maybe you should pull a Gilly and take a look in the damn mirror! Sure I've only been here for a few months, but what about yourself? You've been here WAYYYYYY longer than that and have only managed to be TV Champion once and Xtreme Champion a few times. By the time my book has been written, there'll be alot more in it than what yours has. You can bet on that! Just like you can bet that I WILL target your knee, whether you think it's fully healed or not. You're a wounded dog and I plan on bringing the shotgun and killing YOU come Wednesday. You say I'm gale force winds, well, this hurricane is gonna blow you away with the strength I'm bringing come Wednesday! I don't just run my mouth, I back it up and you're gonna find that out the hard way!"

"Look at you, bragging about breaking your losing streak to some chick. Biiiiiiiig tough guy. You even did the courtesy of rubbing it in the poor girl's face with one of your 99 cent Cafepress t-shirts. Sure, you could argue you've won more recently than I have, but I'm smart enough to know it's not about the last victory, it's about the next one. It doesn't matter that I didn't win at Leap of Faith, it means nothing that I couldn't beat Noah on Thursday; as long as I beat you and Gilly come Wednesday"

"And speaking of Super Dick, I don't want him to feel left out of the party, even if we all know he's going to be the first one eliminated. That's why he's taking a good, hard look in the mirror. He knows he's the joke of XWF, now that Kid Kool and the Perfect Storm are no longer around. A former Universal Champion from a time when the competition was questionable; he's now reduced to competing, just for a shot at a 24/7 Title. My how time flies."

"Gilly, I talk shit, but I don't hate you. I agree with alot of the talk, but I also appreciate you showing up at War Games. It's more than can be said about others. You also can at least CLAIM you were Universal Champion, even if it was for less than a month. The history books have your name in them, and no matter what happens, you'll always have that."

"But, as I already said, the past is the past and dwelling on it won't get you any closer to the Xtreme Championship. You may have been THE guy at one point, but that time is long gone. It's my turn to take the first step towards greatness and win the belt that you've become famous for holding over and over again. You can talk yourself up all you want, it won't matter once we're in the ring. The only thing that WILL matter is who the best man is and how far they'll be willing to go for a shot at Unknown Soldier. Well, Gilly, I'll rip off that big ole dick of yours if it means getting the chance to etch my name in the annals of XWF history. And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!"

I turned and exited the ring, making my way back up the aisle. There may have been more to be said, but it was best left for another time. Though I planned on making an impact Wednesday, I was gonna start with my own statement tonight. XWF was about to see how dangerous Big D really is, and soon they'd all respect me.

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