Two XWF wrestlers are sitting in the waiting room at Wild Waters Cancer Treatment Center. No, it's not the start of a joke. Lux is sitting next to Engy in a lobby that pretty much looks like every other lobby that ever existed. Beige walls, bright lights and 6-plus month old copies of Time magazine lay scattered about. There's only one other person present, an old woman wearing a knit cap to conceal her baldness. She's sitting directly across from them, trying not to let her gaze linger on the strange duo too long.

So, we won, right? Engy asks, flipping through a copy of Better Homes and Gardens.

Lux, tapping her fingers on the arm rest of her chair, answers without looking up. Yeah. But not all the way. I'm still here, so something in the future still went wrong. She wasn't even going to pretend to understand all the vagaries of her time travel. Oddly, her memories had not changed, but that may have just been a function of the fact that they were still the memories of this discrete version of Lux, despite the fact that the Engineer had successfully killed the boy who would become Aiwass' NEW Engineer in the future.

Engy tosses the magazine down on the table next to him. Welp! He mutters, before turning to Lux. This don't change our agreement none. You better still win it all at March Madness. I mean, yeah sure, setting the score a bit with Aiwass and helping the future is pretty cool, I guess. But I shot that kid in the head so...

Lux nudges Engy's elbow and gestures subtly across the way. Huh....? Engy looks up to see the old woman sitting across from them, looking horrified. Oh geez lady, don't get your granny panties in a bunch, it's all a work! The woman averts her gaze again. Engy scowls and resumes his train of thought. I didn't do what I did to make sure you got to March Madness just so you could NOT win that briefcase. I can't wrestle anymore, so it's up to YOU to make sure that bitch-made pube face Robert Main get's whats comin' to him!

Lux frowned, but didn't dare debate Engy on their difference in priorities. The fact was, for whatever his motivation, he saved her life. And he was going to be integral in her fight against Aiwass aka Number 44 aka The Beast going forward. Or at least, so long as Engy stayed alive. The cancer in his brain, put there by Aiwass himself as a parting “fuck you” to his former acolyte, would kill him eventually. It was a small miracle he was still as functional as he was.

Oh, and thanks for drivin' me. Turns out my kid would rather bang his boyfriend out today than help his old man!

You told me yesterday that Jo was getting his taxes done.

I don't know. Maybe! You expect me to remember all this shit? Hey, you cutting a promo here? Engy points at the camera.

Unfortunately. Time's running short and this was my last possible chance to speak my peace.

Oh cool. 'Cuz I got somethin' to say. Engy mean mugs the camera. Hey Sarah! You call my friend Lux one more time and I will unretire my dyin' self to step in that ring and break my foot off in your Elvira-lookin'ass so hard you'll be able to floss with my shoelaces! Besides, what's so bad about bein' 'tarded? I'm pretty 'tarded, and I was the Universal Champion for eleventy billion years. Bein' 'tarded is cool! You sometimes get discounts at McDonalds and people don't call you out when you fart. You don't know true power until you've dropped an epic stink biscuit on the Metro Bus and all anyone does is look away, go “oh that poor man!” and try not to hurl.

Mr. Bright, we're ready to for you. A nurse appeared at the door, calling out Engy's name. And once again, could you please refrain from cutting promotional videos in the waiting area? It scares the other patients.

Wait, he does this often?

He cut a promo on that lamp last week.



It's a stupid lamp!

Lux rolls her eyes. I'll do mine in the foyer.

Engy gets up and follows the nurse into the treatment area. So I get a sugar cookie today right?

For the last time, that's only if you give blood..... The exasperated nurse says as they disappear into the back. Lux watches them go, and then gestures for the camera to follow her out of the waiting area. They pass through a door, and into an empty hallway. Lux takes a moment to collect herself before looking right into the camera.

Hi everyone, it's Lux. Broadcasting live from the site of psychological delusion and/or gender identity confusion. She smiles, but it's sort of a tired smile. I'd like to start off by saying, this will not be the same kind of virulent, scorched earth promo that has populated the build to this match thus far. I understand how that kind of build can feel cathartic and get them clicks, but quite frankly it's all just starting to blend together into so much slurry. The insults are being repeated over and over and the verbal gotcha games are running their course. And yes, I'm including Corey in that assessment.

So I'm going to try something a little different. Something a bit less “scorched earth”. And it's not out of some facile attempt to take a moral high road, but because I want to be honest. I think Corey and all of the rest of you have spent so much time being so fundamentally dishonest about each other, that for all this talk about whats real and what isn't, the truth about each of us is becoming completely lost.

So, being the senior participant in this match, as my closing words, I'd like to ground things a bit. Some of the things I say might still sting, but only because they're true. And I realize that, for some of you, coming from ME, that might seem like a tall order. Hear me out anyway. Because my end goal here is not to make any of you look like shit heading into this match. My end goal is to give people a reason to tune in and cheer. And maybe, just maybe, for each of us to wade forward from this experience having a new perspective on life in these crazy hallways.

Sarah, out of everyone, you and Corey have hit the hardest and the most often, tearing into each other like animals. And during that time, your position has never been unclear. You stand for professional wrestling in the most traditional sense of the word. And you are willing to go to war for that belief.
But Sarah if you were really that committed to this crusade to purify the sanctity of wrestling, you would stick around even if you lose to me. You'd keep fighting that fight. The fact that you won't means that this was only ever about your desire to win, and that your whole argument about being some divine warrior for the sacredness of the sport was just so much window dressing for your personal ambition. I don't think it was EVER your intention to stay in the XWF if you lost. I think all you ever wanted was to win this tournament.

But there's nothing wrong with that either. Trying to win is the whole point. But the thing that you don't seem to see is that there is nothing wrong with losing either. Because if you didn't fail every so often, what's the point of existing? Winning all the time just means you have nothing left to learn. And who wants to live in a world where they have nothing left to learn? So no, I will not take you up on what I gather is a quid pro quo offer to leave the XWF if I lose. Because I don't see losing as something that defines who I am. I'm sure your tack on that is “well, that sounds like something a loser would say”. Okay. If that's the way you choose to slice it. But I don't. And I wish you wouldn't either. So if you do lose at March Madness, and I'm not guaranteeing that you will, I'd like to invite you to stay. A loss here won't denigrate who you are. It won't make you any less Sarah Lacklan, even if you do see me as a farce. Because, unlike Corey, I think you do bring something to the table. It's just that you're the one who put all this pressure on yourself to win, by characterizing me as this make or break complete antithesis of your entire existence.

I know you can probably feel the “voms” rising up your throat as I say this, but I don't dislike you. Do I think we could be best buds? No. But I don't have the venom for you that Corey does. Corey hates you because he sees you as something inauthentic. Corey has....hurt.....in his life, a lot. And to him, this “ready made for Instagram, show no weakness” jet setting life style of yours is something offensive. He feels that what makes a person a person is acknowledging every piece of their life. The good and the bad. Corey has a lot of guilt for what he's done in his past. The weakness he's shown and the people he's damaged. And owning that publicly is part of his healing process. It's my favorite part of what makes Corey, Corey. It gives him a sort of wisdom beyond his years. But it makes him very angry sometimes too. With the benefit of a bit more perspective and years than him, I see you differently. You're a product of your era, Sarah. An era in which self promotion is not just A survival technique, but perhaps THE survival technique. This is a tough time to be alive, and considering everything I've seen and experienced that IS saying something. I think you're doing what you have to do to adjust, acclimate and survive. Because, and I know Corey would despise hearing me say this, I think you've had your fair share of struggle too. Living as a lesbian woman in a time where things are just starting to turn the corner with regard to that being acceptable. Losing your father (and yes, the genuine love you had for him does shine through). Suffering a terrible car accident that forced you to rebuild your fight strategy from the ground up. All of those things are worthy of praise, and show that you are a strong person in your own right.

I would like you to draw on those sources of strength Sarah, and, if able, stick around even if things at March Madness don't go your way. And no, this isn't some rhetorical trick to draw to get you to drop your guard. Lux laughs a little. I know you won't. I don't think you even can. I accept you for what YOU are, even if you are completely unable to do the same for me. I can live with that. It doesn't effect the fact that I exist.

And, in as much as I exist, I'm afraid you've mischaracterized me. I never said I was unstoppable. I'm not some unassailable android from the future, nor some godly power from on high, condescending to slum it up with mere mortals. Although if I WERE either of those things, it would make my life a hell of a lot easier. So, no, I'm not like Donovan Blackwater. I'm good at what I do, but still a completely beatable and fallible human, just in a rather unconventional form. And perhaps it's just that you NEEDED me to be those things. Maybe you needed me to be this insurmountable monolith because that's what put you in a good rhetorical position. Or maybe it was because if you could stop the unstoppable, that you felt that would give you a mandate to dictate what the XWF is and is not allowed to be. But what I will cop to being is strange. And I absolutely won't apologize for existing. Not anymore at least. I do regret giving Corey permission to do that, but I see his reasoning.

Nor will I cease to exist just because you wish it so. And no, its certainly not your job to carry my bags for me and promote me, although you bordered on doing just that by constantly making me out to be more than I was. It's also certainly not your job to even believe in me. Thankfully, I'm not some folk figure who goes away just because people stop telling my tale. I'll continue to endure no matter who gives credence to the fact that I live and breathe. And that is something you can't contend with, no matter how many promos you cut. I'll be here. With bells on. Living my bizarre life. And just because my reality doesn't square with yours doesn't make me any less a competitor in these halls than you.

Lux smile again. “Nevertheless, she persisted.”

But I will ask you to consider something.

“I have no doubt that in reality the future will be vastly more surprising than anything I can imagine. Now my own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.”

Haldane said that. He was a British biologist and geneticist. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Despite the fact that I know what dark times lurk around the corner for us, it's the thing that keeps me moving. It keeps me from succumbing to dread. Because I know that victory, however remote, can be one of those queer things we struggle to suppose. But as it pertains to YOU Sarah, I would invite you to consider this. People once thought the sun was a God. They once thought the earth was flat. And that the stars were heaven peeking through the unknown. The reality behind each of those primitive notions was so much more gorgeous and complex than they could have realized. To those people, the reality of their myths would have seemed like magic. Life is a bizarre and sometimes incredible panoply of things that can sometimes seem impossible, regularly defying what we think we know about the world. And the XWF drew me in because it's the purest representation of that ideal. Granted, some of those things are dark and terrible. But some of them are beautiful too. Open your eyes to the beauty, Sarah. Just open them.

Game Girl, you are one of those strange and beautiful things. Corey would have been an absolute hypocrite to tear you down for what you are, so he never did. I'm sorry you got that impression of him, but you're just not correct. We both think you're great just the way you are. Well, almost.

One thing I do disagree with Corey on, with regard to his treatment of you, is his argument that you saying a few swear words is out of step with who you are. Bless his heart, but that's the kind of thing a 17 year old boy, with the privilege of growing up in a man's world, would say. Us girls know different. Our ability to cuss or bare our fangs in defending ourselves does not render us any less decent, or feminine. You can still be your sprite-like, fun self, and pop the claws out. Using a four letter word does not somehow impugn your image, and quite frankly it kind of reminds me of the days where women were encouraged to be quiet, chaste, and always subtle or risk losing their social bonafides. And yes, that IS bullshit male privilege.

But there is a difference between baring your fangs and betraying who you are. Corey didn't hit you on this, probably because he thought that doing so would be akin to proffering up his throat to be torn out, but you did say one grossly inappropriate thing to him. Something that a person who errs on the side of good should NOT say.

When you accused Corey of using his drug addiction as some cheap attempt to tug at the heart strings, you crossed a line. Corey wasn't using his tragedy in that way. He would never. What he was trying to do was draw a delineation between people like Sarah and people like him. He was trying to show not just all of you, but the viewers at home, that yes, it's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to stumble and fall. It's okay to be HUMAN. Which, quite frankly, is a beautiful sentiment. And what you said to him was just not fair.

Now, you might be thinking that I myself am applying an unfair standard to you. That I'm unjustly holding you to a different set of criteria than Dolly or Sarah. And that's because I am. You're a self identified babyface, Game Girl. That's the side you put yourself on. And frankly, we need more of you. Being an asshole is awfully tempting. And one of the dirty little secrets of these promo wars we wage is that cutting the “take no prisoners, burn it all down” style of hype is easy. Sure, you have to be creative and have a way with words, but in the end, anyone can do damage with a cannon. Corey included. It's refusing to cross certain boundaries that's hard, and it's why hardly anyone does it. Did Corey cross some of those boundaries? Yeah, I think he did. And in a way, he conformed in the same way you did. He betrayed himself the same way you did, largely by letting his anger at Sarah get in the way of his good graces.

I know the pull to get down and dirty is strong. I'm saying that you (and Corey) can be stronger and be truer to yourselves going forward. I like you, Game Girl. Every pixelated bit. And I know Corey does too. Good luck.

And finally, Dolly. You know what I think is so, so interesting about the build up in this tournament? It's how much of it seemed to hinge on this notion of authenticity, of “what's real” or “who's real”. And girl, you snuck under the radar. Because out of all of us, your story just might, low-key, be the most extraordinary of all. Because in your brief 15 years of existence, you have seen and experienced more “life” than most people would get in 100 years. You've had brushes with so much tragedy and loss due in large part to your circumstances. You've even had your own brushes with the supernatural, have you not?

Out of all of us, I think you may actually have the most right to win this tournament. You've proved yourself in the past, albeit a tad inconsistently (I won't retread that). You're entertaining. And for a 15 year old, the amount of grit, skill, and determination you possess is damn near unearthly. As I said, you are flying under the radar as perhaps the most strange,beautiful, and bizarre thing in this tournament. That's a compliment. Really.

I have very little to critique you on. And I realize that's tantamount to heresy in these parts, but as I said before, we're doing things a little different. But the one thing I will say, and I think Corey hit the nail on the head, is that I think you need to ask yourself if the path you're taking is the one you were meant to take. You're entering a world that's very different from your own with Sarah. And while I think you're strong enough to fend off any resistance you may encounter in the world, I'm not sure it isn't actually a step down for you. Plus, there is the fact that I truly don't think Sarah will be sticking around if she doesn't win this tournament. I mean, perhaps she will and your new clique of BFF's will still be here. Fine. But what if they aren't? What do you think happens if they go away? That they'll take you with them? Do you WANT to go with them? Have you considered these questions?

And maybe, in the end, it's not even my right to ask you this. This is YOUR life after all, and as I already said, you've lived more “life” than anyone your age should ever have to. Maybe what you want now is just a bit of normalcy. A bit of glam and camaraderie. Something that will make you feel less strange and like less of an outsider. But I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Game Girl. Don't let the outside pressure to conform compel you to be something you're not, or do something you're not. That's a lesson Corey learned as well. And above all, don't you dare concede this to Sarah. So far you have been on the razor's edge of “sounding confident” and, as Corey put it, “being an I win some, I lose some Dolly.” All in the face of your new friend Sarah launching an unrelenting campaign to tell the world that she is going to tear through everyone in this tournament, including you. Losing's not a bad thing, but seeming to have a half hearted outlook on your own prospects isn't great either. You're the 15 year old girl who took Jim Caedus to his limit. Let that sink in. A 15 year old girl.

Dolly, if I don't win this, I hope you do. And yeah, I'm going on the record with that. And you better stick around too, even if this doesn't go your way. I want that one on one contest with you someday.

Lux stops to take a breath.

Time grows short. And the time for talking grows shorter. This is our final entry.

Now, we go.

Godspeed.




Lux approaches Corey inside the beach within their twinned minds. Their combined safe haven. Corey is watching the dark waters, knees pulled up to his chin. He doesn't turn to look at her as she approaches.

Lux stops about 10 feet out from him, fear staking out her place in the sand. Because, this woman, who had literally faced down the worst humanity and hell had to offer, was powerfully and deeply afraid as she had never been before. She opens her mouth to speak, but at first nothing comes out. She swallows, mustering up her courage before having another go.

You have every right to hate me. You have every right to feel disgusted by my actions. I tried to kill a child. I did. And I could sit here and try to prattle on about the “greater good.” But I won't bother. You are entitled to your disgust. Every bit of it.

Lux stops. Corey still says nothing.

I never wanted this for you. And I was foolish to think I could hide the darkest elements of what I do from you. It was cowardly and it was deeply, profoundly wrong. In trying to protect you, I alienated you. There's nothing I can do to take that back....

Lux's voice breaks a bit. Her bottom lip quivers and she does everything she can to hold a flood of tears back.

But I still need you here with me, Corey. And not out of necessity. Not because of the mission. But.... She stops again, an icy claw pawing at her guts, her heart hammering. I've tried to deny it for the last two months. I thought it was just some byproduct of this unbelievable situation you and I found ourselves in. I mean....we share a body! It's as intimate as it gets. So I thought yeah....yeah....it was just....a side effect, you know?

All I know is killing. I never had time for anything else. So, in that sense, I am not a fully developed human being. I....there are things I don't know. She stutters, trying to make sense of her racing thoughts. But one thing I have started to know...one thing that has become terrifyingly clear to me over the course of these last two months....

She stops, a single rolling down her cheek.

….is that I love you. Lux gasps as she puts down this burden. I love you. I have tried to deny it. I've tried to convince myself it's not there. Or that if it is, it's not what I think it is. I mean, for God's sakes I'm 31 years old! Another pause. But that's just it. I'm 31 years old and, in my life, I've never had time for love. Never even got to have that...heh....that first dopey teenage crush. So maybe that's what this is....I don't know....time catching up with me perhaps.

She shakes her head. And yet, it could be something more. Corey...you.... She wipes away another tear. You are a brilliant light. You're something special. I believe that with all my heart. And the notion that I have damaged you somehow, that I have broken you. Corey...I just....I can't....

More tears push forth.

I know this is impossible. That there will never, ever be anything more between us than this, which is just....so fucking strange given how close we already are....but I know I can never, ever love you how I want to. That's not your burden. It's mine. I need to make peace with that. But I've already been so dishonest with you so far that I felt like I owed you this.

She stops once more. A cool wind passes between them. Corey has still not stirred. Lux nods her head sadly.

I know how important this tournament is to you. And I'm going to do my damndest to win it for you. I don't expect you to say anything to me. Not now. I just wanted you to know that too.

Goodbye Corey.

With a final, lingering glance, Lux peels herself away, walking back the length of the beach in silence.

Corey doesn't watch her go, he remains fixated on the undulations of the ebon waves before him. But, through his own tears, the starlight catching off the waves is filtered and refracted, blown apart into so much radiance. He puts his head down and sings quietly to himself.




OOC: WHEW! That's it for me. I desperately need to return to reality. I hope everyone who read my series took something away from it. I tried to cover a lot of bases, from match and character development to everything in between.

Thank you to all my opponents for pushing me and taking this ride with me. Good luck to all of you!