The marquee is lit up, the words are bold, the promotional commercials have been made. Chris Chaos vs. Robert Main. The Universal Championship on the line and the scene is Miami, Florida.
Cue the music.
"Robert Main, the stage it set. It is you and I for all the marbles, as it should have been all along. It is you and I for all the marbles, now that you have finally come out of hiding. Now that you have finally shown your face. You claim you sat back and let me talk, well I have done the same. You've been in front of the camera three times already, and I have disappeared. I have been so quiet I have XWF management texting me and asking me if I plan to show up.
I do.
But slow and steady wins the race. You were so anxious to explode out of the cannon and fire shots on me, hell, you could barely contain yourself. Well calm down big boy, I am here. Chris Chaos is late to the party, but the true champ is here.
Make room.
Now its no lie, I have been pursuing the Universal Title for longer than I care to admit. It has been an obsession for me, it has controlled my life. Even when I was Television Champion and Hart Champion, it was always in the back of my mind. The title that was stolen from me. It was like I didn't feel complete without it. I'll admit my career here is probably defined more as chasing the title than it is about having it, but I have come to accept that. I have come to accept that my entire XWF profile has been being almost good enough in the biggest moments. I have come to accept that nobody on this roster wants me here and they sure as shit don't want me as their champion.........
That is why I am going to be.
Robert you just aren't ready for this life, you just aren't battle tested. You've spent your entire reign fighting nobodies and hiding behind "APEX" that you haven't put yourself through the ringer. I, shit, I have tortured myself for this shot. I have faced every big name on this roster whether it was me challenging them, accepting their challenge, or being a victim of booking. I have been put up against the biggest, the baddest, the hungriest, and I am still standing. Even after the beatdown on Warfare against skitzo Jim, I am still standing. I have been put to the test, and I have survived every one that has been thrown at me.
You have been facing guys with the word j-o-b-b-e-r in their name.....literally. It's in there.
You've reigned supreme over a roster full of trolls and have the audacity to call yourself a champion. You were gifted the belt because the Engineer went back to the nut house and god forbid he gave it to me. You've been protected, coddled, and looked after your entire reign Hell, your entire career. Between hiding behind AX3 as the quiet weird guy with the stupid hair cut to hiding behind APEX as the unnecessarily loud guy with the stupid hair cut, you've always been too afraid to go at this alone. You've always had help, always had backup, always had others there to fight your battles with you, and sometimes for you.
Hell Robert, you're so underdeveloped even pro-lifers would abort you.
You come out of the gates and dominate, as you said. You eviscerate opponents, though it must get boring beating up on the B squad all the time, but is that strong style really fitting? I've watched your matches. You look like a bear trying to fuck a football.
But you talk tough, you hang on your accomplishments. You rub them in everyone's face like the past matters. You throw it in everyone's face that you are the longest reigning Hart Champion in history like anyone gives a squirt of piss about how long you held a mid card belt for. Why are you highlighting mediocrity? And for real, Robert, why are YOU highlighting it?
.............because you jumped the shark. You thought I was going to pull a Jim on you and pull up the past to try and show how much of a joke you truly are, but I wasn't. That wasn't my game plan. Nice try, thanks for coming. YOU brought up how you lost to Cadryn--who I beat by the way--and YOU brought up the setbacks. No, Robert, I wasn't going to go there because I knew it was opening pandora's box. I knew you'd come back with a hard hitting reply, because that is what you do. Instead, I decided I would be honest. Both with myself and with you.
I haven't been what I wanted to be here.
I have been chasing this title for so long and letting it cloud my vision for so long that I haven't accomplished all that I could. I could have been so much more but that strap over your shoulder has made it impossible for me. Maybe I was brought up too quick, maybe I won it too early on, maybe I was spoiled. Truth is, I am not sure. All I know is that I have a shot at it again. No games this time, no gimmick matches, no other opponents to stand in my way. Just you and I, mano-e-mano, for the gold that has become my obsession.
BUT
Before you continue on your pat your self on the back session, let me inform you that it IS a roster issue. Sure, I know the Docs, the Soldiers, the Morbids, you name them, are gone....I get it......... but many places have a replacement in talent. We don't have that. You and I are the last ones left of the golden age, and you've ducked me until now. You've done everything in your power to make sure I haven't even sniffed that title until your hand was forced. You have been the one who has been afraid to fight me because you know I CAN beat anyone.........Do I always, no. But I can. All it takes is one match, one night, one move....and its all over for you. I guess that's why they call it March Madness, eh?
You wet pancake. You are so smug, so arrogant, and so.....vulnerable. You have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants, Robert. This time there is no Jim, Drew will probably be hovering around, but he doesn't really matter, and you will have to face your biggest demon. I just wonder if you'd be able to speak more clearly if your parents were second cousins instead of first.
Your arguments have more holes than strippers.
What do I mean?
Well besides being the the ringmaster at the cock circus, of course.......
Through all this chest puffing and accomplishment spewing you forgot two key words....two words that the XWF has tried to bury in the history books and cover over with dirt but since you want to unearth you're setbacks........how about your biggest failure?
Two words that you to this day still have to choke down..............
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