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Robert "The Omega" Main · (07-21-2018)

This is single-handedly the worst time of year to watch sports! Baseball sucks, The World Cup finally finished, ugh, speaking of The World Cup. Finn, I bet you’re an enormous soccer fan. We already know you’re a mammoth prick! Now for the past few weeks, I would go down to my favorite watering hole “The Crop Duster” for taco Tuesday and what was on every fucking screen? Soccer! Where in the hell am I supposed to watch Jerry Springer? There isn’t an American that actually wants to watch soccer, its forced on us, watching it is like cheating on the homeland. Unchristian! Theses colors right here don’t run. Red, White and Blue through and through! If you watch soccer your as phony as Chris Chaos or a dick like Finn The Kaiser. More like the butt of the joke! A sport made for an ass hat like yourself Finn! I bet you couldn’t play proper sports, like smear the queer growing up. I do apologize that you weren’t blessed with the proper hand to eye coordination to do anything other than finger yourself. I, on the other hand, qualified to play Baseball and wrestle!

Let’s play a game where we wear oven mitts and stand there looking like we are waiting on public transportation that’s never going to come! What a joke! These soccer dicks! Everybody else on the field can’t score. There’s more flopping than LeBron James in the kiddie pool in Oakland, California! (Golden State)! Hell, much like a Finn promo you can take a nap and 6 hours later guess what? The point still isn’t driven home! Or his matches no one has won! Still a stalemate. Ouch! Hell, they don’t even have a halftime. We Americans invented halftime to drain the vein grab a cold beer and check the live feed on porn hub. You bunch of dumb asses play more and score less. There’s more scoring in the revenge of the nerd’s series than a soccer game. Well, wait a second something good did happen. In the game where Mexico….

The Spaniards beat the German team…..

Robert laughs to himself knowing what he just said is completely wrong just to disrespect Finn

Nothing like two third world countries fighting it out for some beans and rice. Heck, I heard when they beat the Germans, it damn near caused an earthquake! Big deal some Mexicans can make some noise! I’m surprised the entire country didn’t collapse from all the damn tunnels running drugs and helping El Chapo escape! Thank God, we haven’t built the Trump wall yet. Or we would have lost out foundation![/shadow]

Robert pauses for a moment

Finn how are you going to come to blows when you love a sport where you can’t even use your hands? Are you going to beat me to death with a standard deck of yellow cards? Dick! Here we are about to engage in armed conflict, the fight of fights, and you are nowhere to be found. I’m sure we’ll get the standard promo at some point, the short and sweet one and done deal were used to. That right there is the drawback with you Finn. You beat your chest, shouting at the top of your lungs that you are the next coming of Jesus in the ring, that you are the next stupendous wrestling star. Now the biggest match to date you have vanished into thin air, and not the cool Cadryn POOF! way! I went down to the Las Vegas sheriff’s office to report a missing person, they started the paperwork and asked for a name and as soon as I mentioned FINN KUHN they laughed me out the front door. Rude! I’m just trying to find you. So, I went another route. I got home picked up the phone and made a call to unsolved mysteries as soon as I mentioned your name. They hung the phone up. What The Fuck right? I tried calling back and got the busy tone. If they won’t take the case you know there’s a predicament!

But then I sat there smoked a Cuban Cigar and drank a bottle of bourbon. Just thinking, wondering where you could have gone. Maybe you were stowed away under your bed? So, I went out looking for the Mystery Machine and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks! Sure, I was drinking and driving, and on my motorcycle! But that’s beside the point! I didn’t need Scooby and the gang, Finn I figured it out all on my own! I didn’t need to go and climb to the top of the G.C.P.D. and flip the switch on the Bat signal. I didn’t need the world’s greatest detective. Little old me figured it out. See Finn when push comes to shove, you always disappear without a trace. When there is a match you know there is no chance in winning, finding you becomes a real-life game of where’s Waldo the

edition!

Finn if you’re a good boy after the match is over I’ll give you a Scooby snack!

Robert tosses a bag of Scooby snacks at the camera laughing

The past two weeks you’ve been hiding from everyone view, you have been the best-kept secret. Hiding in the shadows like a coward! Face the facts kid! Look in the mirror, and when you do take a good long concentrated look. If you haven’t done it by now, it’s not in the cards. There is a simple term and it goes like this, “your just not good enough”. That right there is cutting to the quick my friend! You’ll never be what you profess you are. You don’t have the pork sword for this business. You talk a colossal game, hell we all do that’s part of it. When you walk through that curtain and make your way down the ramp you nose-dive! How many times have you promised success and broke down right after, missing the mark fizzling out? You have fallen flat so many times now, every word goes up in smoke. You meet disaster each and every time blundering away what you call a career! When the heat is on you can’t take it. You collapse under the pressure. Your legacy in this company will be one filled with what might have been. You are not the future of this company Finn not even close, not by a long shot! You’re looking at the future right here! I hope you’re ready for war kid because soon if you show up you’ll be smack dab in the middle of one!

Oh, and one last thing while I’m on the subject of flunkies. Finn I would have given you your own promo ripping you shreds but why bother? That’d be too much effort on my part, plus you’re not worth that amount of time! You've got to give more of an effort to draw any more attention from "The Omega"

When the crusade finally came it was David - vs - Goliath. This time around Goliath had all the playthings. It was no old-fashioned scuffle with the young! Robert sees himself as David. In a match filled with veterans of the trade. Each has been around the block a time or two. He understands whats at stake. In this match, Robert will have to smart bombs his targets strategically, surgically! One by one until no one is left standing. No amount of collateral damage was too much.

Azrael Erebus how you feeling after I made you scream bloody murder? I’m not trying to sell you down the river here. But I did beat your ass! I thought the spaceman didn’t feel agony? You sure as hell put on a good front. You would have surprised me if I didn’t know better! But speaking of you and space and all that other shit. The other day I overheard the news and low and behold we are sending bull sperm and human sperm into outer space. Nothing like sending our baby batter on a voyage to the great beyond. What happens if an astronaut breaks a beaker of that shit? Could you imagine? I guess you could, I’m sure you’ve been up close and personal with sperm before! MONEY SHOT! Anyway, you’d have sperm eggs floating around the cabin like albino caviar. Then what? Some guys day just got a hell of a lot harder. Imagine asking lower command to round up all the sperm eggs? They’d quit on the spot! Nothing like saying I quite in orbit! What if they couldn’t round them all up?

They could float away, out into the great abyss and impregnate half the universe. This has got to stop right now before disaster strikes. I’ll put in a call to NASA and tell them I have a better way to transport sperm. That’d be you Azrael! Nine times out of ten you have the éclair injected into your backside anyway! You could do them a real solid traveling through space rump caring a full load. I just solved another one. Maybe I’ll solve world hunger next and tell absolutely no one! I could never send my sperm into space, hell I’m not even in the mile-high club because there isn’t enough leg room to finish. The highest my sperm has ever gotten was on top a roller coaster six flags.

Me and my girlfriend at the time were stopped right before you go down the first hill. Power outage or some shit. We waited there for an hour. So, we decided to take advantage of the situation. It timed out perfectly. The cars started rolling down the hill just as I reached my own climax if you know what I mean. Once we came back in the workers weren’t happy. I tried my best to clean everything up with one of those park maps, all that did was just smear it all over the place. One lady in the car behind us puked. So, they tried to kick us out of the park for lude behavior. I told them right to their face, you said keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times! You didn’t say a word about my manhood! They backed down. What dicks! Anyway, so we go to another amusement park some little shit one someplace in California…. What was it? Oh yeah, Disney!

Like clockwork, we got stuck on a coaster again so she gave me a handy. The problem was the cars started moving before I was ready to blow my baby gravy, we hit a corkscrew and by the time I discharged my weapon at the top of the corkscrew and we hit the bottom I got an earful of my own nutter butter. True story by the way. So, a few days go by and that ear starts bothering me. I go to the doctor, he dicks around looking in my ear and after a few seconds he looks me dead in the eyes and diagnoses me with swimmer’s ear!

As warfare becomes more advanced those who decide to extinguish the life of others remain isolated from the horror. Only the ones on ground level see the blood, guts, the dead. Each stacked up like trash their bodies lined up like fallen domino's.

Now back to the spaceman or whatever you claim to be! While I appreciate the good gesture with you saying I deserve this. Because you are one hundred percent right I do deserve this. More so than any other man or whatever the fuck you are in this match. I have laid down nearly an entire roster and have yet to get one shot at the [red[Universal Championhip[/red] I’m not sure if I’m blacklisted or what! I’ve done everything. I’ll never go stroke Vinny begging like a certain leader of an Empire You can count the number of times I’ve lost on one hand and not use all your fingers. It pisses me off when I get overlooked, but after this thing is through. That right there won’t happen anymore. I’ll take Chris Chaos down first! Then wade my way through a shit storm and make my leap. I do agree though watching Chaos struggle against Engy would be quite humorous, but why even give him that opportunity. He’s had a multitude of shots squandering each one of them away!

Azrael! I don’t have a problem with you. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I enjoy watching your promos and listening to what you broadcast. It’s interesting, it’s refreshing and fun all wrapped up with a transgendered bow! Keep doing what you are doing.

But…. Cross me in this match and I’ll pulverize you into dust like I did a few weeks ago. At any moment in our match, I could have broken you into smithereens. I wanted to see how far you would push and you know what you didn’t disappoint. I hate to shatter your dreams here, but you won’t come close to grabbing a case. I’ll demolish each and every one of you if I have to, pounding your bones into a fine powder. Just stay out of the way. Move aside when you see me coming, there are no rules don’t make me make mincemeat of you. Last year I laid waste to the entire event. Hell, I brought the house down with a sledgehammer literally! And as far as that favor I owe you. Climb up in the rafters and I’ll give you that favor! I’ll toss your ass to the concrete floor below putting you out of commission. I’d really like to see a spaceman go splat!

War was always problematic. People just didn't want to engage in combat. But what was the alternative? We all need to be educated on why the enemy is bad and fear that they or their families will personally suffer if action isn't taken.

This is the worst part, trying to convey a message to Peter Gilmour! Getting this man to understand something drops my I.Q. and gives me a headache all at the same time. Maybe if I got out some sidewalk chalk or crayons and drew a picture then he would understand. No wait…. I’d have to stop him from shoving the sidewalk chalk up his ass and the crayons up his nose. Although shoving crayons up Peter's nose would be entertaining and couldn’t hurt. It helped Homer Simpson after all. Peter is already underdeveloped and mentally defective! A lame-brained dimwit. Okay, here we go! Peter this is my attempt to get through to you!

Robert smiles at the camera waving and talking like he is speaking to a small child

Hi there Peter my name is Robert. Now I need you to do me a great big favor okay? Can you do that for me, little buddy? Can you be a big boy? I'll give you a Scooby snack like Finn. Now I need you to sit and try to be real still. So let's try to put our listening ears on. Can we do that? Okay!

Robert places his hands on his hips and sighs

I just can’t! Peter if you can ever find it in your Hart please just do us all a giant favor and just shut the hell up. Our bleeding ears could use a break, it’s like listening to a man-child just more slow-witted. Maybe I’ve just knocked you around one too many times and I gave you some kind of permeate brain trauma. Or and I like this idea better! Did Chaos maybe just knock your melon off the headboard of the bed too many times when he had your legs pinned behind your ears. I guess you really did have “the Chaos inside of you"! There are literally dumbbells in the guy smarter than you Peter. Listen lamebrain just give the bull shit cycle a rest. I’ve seen monkeys at the zoo have more organized shit throwing fights than your promos. Just stop

before you injure yourself in the process of trying to utter another sentence!

Robert places his palm to his face shaking his head

The so-called Hart Champion That right there for instance, what in the fuck is that even supposed to mean. I am Champion dumb ass. Do you even try to comprehend what you are saying? You read my last promo? How did you manage that? No, tell me really! I shot it in front of a camera! Jesus Christ! Come on man use a little bit of brain power here. Just a tad. The last five years of your career have been shit. Tell me what you have done lately besides have Chaos drag your underachieving ass across the finish line in that tag title match? Who gives a shit what you did in 2013 this is 2018 dickhead! We are talking the right now not 2014. The time you are talking about was when XWF was on the brink of disaster. The roster was underwhelming. You were the Champion of nobodies! There was no one here Peter to challenge you. That’s why you have those accolades. Just take a meander back when this place started getting real talent again. Peter Gilmour dropped off the face of the Earth! Gone! Since then you have been a nobody, a floater, just drifting!

There is one thing that you did say that was correct. The first time I have ever heard you say anything with any merit. We should have a party that you actually said something worthwhile. Balloons and cake the whole nine yards! My reign as Hart Champion will undoubtedly come to an end. It’s guaranteed no one stays Champion forever. So, go ahead and wish upon a star, get a lucky rabbit's foot and cram a horseshoe up your ass. It won’t be Peter Gilmour that stops my reign as Champion. No there is only one man that can stop my reign. His name is ROBERT MAIN! This part isn’t that hard to figure out Peter after I win at Leap of Faith and I will win. I’ll challenge for the Universal Championship I’ll win it and in that moment where I do win the Universal Championship. My reign as the very best Hart Champion will come to a close. Not you, not anyone else will end my reign! That’s how this is all going to play out. Am I going to have to kill Chaos? Gladly! That’s all part of the plan, and I know you won’t go down without a fight Peter you never do, but you will go down! You’ll bend at the knee or like you always have, or I’ll make you!

So, keep believing you are the “FACE” of the company Peter keep bleeding those buckets of blood, getting your ass handed to you week in and week out. It’s done you wonders recently let me tell ya! So, fight until your last breath, hell asphyxiate yourself for all I care, you’d be doing the world a grand favor. Come slap the smirk off my face Peter it’s worked out so well for you in the past. I’ve neutralized you before I’ll do it again!

Robert places the Hart Championship over his shoulder becoming more serious

Peter at one moment you are going to smack me in the face and the next moment you’re playing let’s make a deal which one is it. I’m just telling you that Chris Chaos used you. That’s all. I’m saying you should want him to pay. Peter whether or not you decide to take him out in the match is of your own choosing. But chew on this for a moment. What if Chris uses you again in this match to gain what he wants, taking away your golden opportunity. How many more chances are you going to get at greatness before it's all over Peter? You cannot say I didn’t tell you! You should want to cut the head off the snake that screwed you over! I’ll tell you what.......

Peter I am a man of my word. You help me take Chris Chaos out of the picture. I’ll team with you! I’ll help you get that sixth Tag Team Championship! I'll give you a shot at the Universal Championship! Hell, I'll hand the Hart Championship over to you! What do you have to lose? I don't break promises, when have I ever told you something that was not true? Or didn't happen! That right there is the proof in the pudding! What I say is what I do Peter! You can take this for whatever you decide it’s worth. Or wind up a greasy spot at Leap Of Faith!

With each bullet fired over the past two weeks Robert really didn't feel anything. His brain just shut down over time. He hadn't I stopped for a moment to consider how awful this war was going to be. The bombs will fall killing one by one. But that is war. You fight and win or you die.

Chris Chaos fun fact! You've faced Jim how many times? Five? Losing each encounter? Do you know how many times it took me to beat Jim in the ring? Or did you even know I faced him you jackass? I guess in your reality I've never faced anyone worth a damn. It took me one time! Once! Look it up! I'm one of the very few to pin him down to the canvas one, two, three! One try! First time. I didn't bleed myself out, there was no bell I could not answer. No excuses. I went into the match and beat his ass like a drum. I didn't need a second, third, fourth or fifth try. I took him down on the first go around. So why jump into this match head first? Why bother? To be a pain in your ass Chris! To take your little plan and turn it upside down.

To watch you squirm. Your tragic fate is looking clearer than ever before. Chris I want you to know that as long as one man stands in your path you cannot claim victory for your own. I am that man Chaos! Whether it is at Leap Of Faith or not. I will continue to come after you until one of us is no more. I'm no Finn I keep my promises! You seem to think that you've built an Empire, the problem is one cannot be built upon a foundation of lies. The only embarrassment walking into this thing is you Chris Chaos. But look at it this way once I end your career maybe you and Jenny could join the bachelorette. NO scratch that. After the first go-round with Jenny the producers would be passing out Valtrex, icy hot and WD-40 just to cool the burn.

You beat Drew down? Shit, I thought you sent Black to do it. Oh, wait a second you did. Not even you can keep the fucking story straight. You want to rain on my title reign that's fine Chris Chaos my question is this where were you to defend against? If you were this real competition you would have showed up and played ball. If my title is second-rate what's that make the Television Championship you held? Dare I say third rate? The last time I was in the main event, by the way, was two weeks ago cock gobbler. I know you were out there busting your balls against guys like Griffin MacAlister!

Robert looks shocked for a moment

Wait a second! Who in the fuck is that guy anyway? Where did we find him? Cooking fries at Burger king? What a murderous row of brawlers you've faced! Tell me how you remained Champion so long in that cutthroat division. Is that guy still even employed? Or how about Kenneth "Boobie" Williams? Real savage right there. Watch out guys Chris has been facing murders! 'I'm shitting my pants right now! Here's a good one Mezian the same guy you bashed me for facing. Ever heard of a fucking contradiction? You've literally have faced the who's who's of nobodies and you give me shit? You have faced no one, at least the guys I did face were former Champions. The guys you faced were off the street looking for a job

See because you faced them it makes them better right Chris? Every word that leaves your mouth you have to self-justify because even you know its bull shit. You have nothing but a Empire of shit. You winning the Universal Championship was a fluke! A modern-day farce, you could not beat me on my worst day. Then N.A.I.Z strolls in teaches you a history lesson beats your ass and all of a sudden he's a member of the degenerate club? You can keep blowing all the smoke you'd like Chris. Everyone knows the truth. You are one lie away from forgetting who you are.

Wars rip people from one another, they turn them into monsters. Wars put barricades between brothers and sisters alike. They railroad people into becoming psychotic. They make people look over their shoulder in safe places. What most don’t realize though is that wars are fought every day in every place imaginable. They strike hard and fast in the places people feel impregnable. They shred strength and expose vulnerability.

Come Leap Of Faith I will come face to face with the terrible! I'll clutch my sword tightly. Anger will burn in my in my eyes. Every time I look down at my sword whatever it may be at that time. Chair, sledgehammer, led pipe or my very own two fists. I will remember all the remorse that brought me here, and it will fuel me! I will fight like the devil devoid of sympathy, crushing each of you one by one. I want revenge. I'm thirsty for blood. After the smoke settles, the bloodshed and cries of pain stop. I will walk away mercilessly with the case and my revenge letting each of you all rot!

The thing about war isn't about who started it. Who's right or wrong. It's about.................

WHO'S LEFT IN THE END!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Chapter VIII. War
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