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Chris Chaos · (02-26-2018)

"So Drew Archyle is Television Champion, further proving that this belt is nothing more than a novelty piece of metal that has been passed around more than HPV at a college frat house. It is time to bring some glory back to this belt. It is time to give this title some value again. Look at the TV champions in the past year. Jack Cain, Neville Sinclair, Jim Caedus, John Holliday, Kitt Kennedy, Drew Archyle.........which of those names don't fit? Hmm, perhaps the last three. Get the Chris Chaos name-plate ready because this this title, one that has eldued me since I've been here, is coming back to perhaps the only non champion on this roster who deserves it. This title is the staple of Savage and gurantees main events and we have been watching it be a hot potatoe fill in for a bunch of scrubs who can barely find their way to a ring much less be successful in it. Drew Archyle may be tough, but toughness only gets you so far. Being the XWF's version of a bop-it isn't going to get you anything but hurt so bad that you won't be able to get back up. This poster boy for CTE is nothing but a frozen piece of meat hanging from a hook, just waiting for someone to take their next shot. Well now, I step into the ring against 3 other men with a chance to get my name back in the royalty column. Drew Archyle, you think you are safe because you are the weak link in Apex? You have aligned yourself with Main and Caedus, thinking that if you get neck deep in shit you will have some back up. The truth is, you are weak, a coward, and afraid to go about this world on your own. You know you can only go so far on your own before you get too far up shits creak with a broken paddle. Jim and Main don't care about you, they look at you as the annoying little brother that mom told them to look out for on the busport. They are here to watch your back because you are incapable of doing it on your own, but they have no love lost for you. As soon as you lose this belt, I wouldn't be surprised if they drop you like a bad habit. You only have value to them at all because of that title around your waist. Do you think Apex will want someone in their crew that isn't on their level? Think about it Drew. You're one of those punching clowns who keeps getting up no matter how hard you hit it, but one day, you will find someone who will hit you so hard that getting up will feel worse than staying down. That man is me. When I break you in half with a spear, you will feel your ribs collapse and realize right then that just because you are Apex doesn't mean your the apex predator. You're only as strong as the pack, and in this match your friends won't be able to help you.

John Holliday. The "Barney Green Guy". Let me ask you, John, what has Barney Green done for you? You won the TV title but have been getting knocked around like an abused wife who made a cold breakfast ever since. I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. You see, Barney's claim to fame was that he could take a beating with the best of them. No matter what you did to Barney, he loved it. But look at Barney, he is basically a refrigerator with legs. You're a small dude, John, and often find yourself outmatched and frankly, outclassed. I thought maybe it would be a turning point for you, pun intended, when you won the belt. I thought maybe there was some hope for you other than being a shit talking troll who had a bone to pick with me because you couldn't hold a candle to my accomplishments. I thought maybe the era of Holliday was beginning. Boy, was I wrong. You got lucky to win the belt, then dropped it soon after and haven't been able to get out of your own way since. Shame, because Barney Green didn't need another reason for people to pity him......but now his little investment is nothing more than the joke that he used to be. You can't be taken seriously anymore Holliday because your mouth has written checks that your ass can't cash, and now you are in debt up over your ears. I am on a mission to restore glory to this belt and stop the streak of mediocrity that you began as soon as you got your grubby paws on it. You see, I am going to win this belt and I am going to be the longest reinging TV champion in history. You? You'll be cleaning the bathrooms at the same IHOP that Barney is eating at, and the two of you can sit there over a stack of pancakes and wonder where you went wrong. I'll tell you---you thought you could counter the chaos, and you were wrong. Remember wayyyyyyyy back in the day, the event I won my first Universal Title at, I speared that bananna looking motherfucker Jervis Cottonbelly straight to hell because I could. There was no rhyme or reason behind it other than I do what I want, when I want, and there isn't a goddamn thing anyone can do about it. Holliday you have zero chance in this match. Hell, the ONLY REASON you won the belt is because Taylor screwed Jenny........SHE won the match, she took you to school, and you got the reap the benefits of her brash personality and her war with XWF management. You didn't EARN the belt....all you did, John, was simply get lucky. Your luck has run out and Turning Point will be the last time we hear the name John Holliday again. Scully.....Scully, Scully, Scully. The XWF's own internet meme. The running joke whose only competition in the fraud department is Peter Gilmour. A man who prides himself on being

and laughs along with the people laughing at him because he is too dumb to realize that he is only on TV for our entertainment. Scully, if there was a TV participation trophy, you'd be my vote to get it. You're hilarious my dude. You make my giddy. You keep the people entertained but are devoid of any other skill. Your in ring ability leaves much to be desired. I haven't seen someone try so hard to be a joke since Cadryn thought he was a member of the Kings. That was adorable, yours is just sad and pathetic. It is kind of like one of those autistic kids who stands up and yells "I WANT GUMMY BEARS ON MY ICE CREAM" for no reason in class and we all laugh, feeling uneasy at the same time. You have a long history here, including a Universal Title run. You might be the most qualified person in this match, which is very, very sad. The talent in XWF took a nose dive like Kennedy's plane. It is me, Jenny, and a handful of others. The rest, well.......yeah. I think that goes without saying. The days of Scully versus Vinnie are long over. You have fallen from grace harder than anyone here. You went from Main Eventer to barely remembered. Now, you are going to come up short once again on the main stage. Without Guppy, you are nothing more than a special ed kid who wandered away from his aid and now has to go through the world on his own. Without Guppy's rape jokes, you are no more than a dry witted, washed up former clown attempting to still hang on to any thread of humor you can find. You can't wrestle, you can't entertain, so what purpose to you serve? Victim. That is all you are and all you ever will be from here on out.

"Annnnnnd cut"

The cameras blinked off and men in suits were congratulating one another. They just made a lot of money off of this promo. Chris Chaos was a commodity, a brand, and the fact that he decided to do his first promo for the biggest show of 2018 from their facility, it spoke volumes.

He smiled once or twice for some selfies, then grabbed his Evian water bottle off the table and walked off the mini stage that they had set up with him, the green screen behind him. During the promo it was super imposed of him walking down the streets of a major city, lets call it Hong Kong, but in reality he was in Clearwater doing the "shoot" from the new Opal Sands resort. They needed some marketing during the down time of their tourist season, and the line outside to see Chaos was exactly what the money hungry executives who have their names on contracts for the building needed. A 5 star resort that sits on the south end of pristine Clearwater Beach is hospital white, with large bay windows that wrap around the entire building. Their slogan is "Every Room has a Vision of Paradise". If the Gulf of Mexico is paradise to them, so be it. To Chris, it was just another view of every day life.

Just like this match, it was just another match to him. Every day was something new, but it was really all the same. He felt with every fiber of his being that he belonged in a title match. Some would say that going for the TV Title and abandoning, at least for now, his quest for the Universal Title was him "settling". It wasn't settling, it was just taking control of a new opportunity and furthering his already well decorated track record.

As he stepped out into the 90 degree heat, he flipped on his phone. He had a few meme's in his inbox from Jenny--cats making funny faces and various people reacting to them--she must be bored. He loved her though, because she was thorough. She never failed to do what she said she was going to do. If she said she was going to text him, she did, no matter how juvenile the texts were. It brightened his day. He had big plans coming up and to know he had someone firmly in his corner made him rest a bit easier every night. Seeing the line that was there waiting for him was nice, also. Bay News 9 was there, as well as WFLA and WVTV-TV. He was back in the limelight, where he felt he belonged. People cared about Chris Chaos again, and that made him even more confident. People were talking about Chris Chaos again. He hadn't seen this in quite some time. He had faded into the back cavities in the memory of people who followed professional wrestling ever since he was screwed out of his belt a year ago.

He wasn't even sure he wanted to be anywhere else. These people, who were dressed head to toe in Chris Chaos merchandise, were chanting now. They were sick of sitting in the heat, they wanted to see their idol. They were ready to embrace the chaos. But part of him wanted to keep them waiting. What was he without a belt? The Television Title would be the full-circle, right now he was incomplete. Right now, it would be wrong of him to indulge in the privledges of a champion.

The people could wait.

They would have no choice. In Chris's mind, being a champion is what sets the bar. Without being a champion, visiting with the crowd is pointless. If they love you now, they have low standards.

He didn't settle for anyone with low standards.

"They are all here for you, my man." He felt a rough, calloused hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to see his old mentor and fighting coach Bruce Kehn standing there. He had put Bruce through a lot, hell he even got the old man shot to prove a point to some silver spoon diner waitress. He was ride or die, for sure.

"They will always be here" Chris said. "If they love me now, they will love me then. I would have more respect for them if they waited until I won this title."

"But the fact that they didn't speaks volumes about what you have accomplished."

There was a guy with a megaphone, chanting for Chris. There were people with all different colors of hair, kids who looked like they haven't showered this month. These weren't fans, these were Florida dregs who bought into the message. These were people with no other options in life but to latch onto the next big trend in hopes it might have some benefit to them. These were people with nothing to do with their day.

"These people want to feed off my accomplishments because they are incapable of accomplishing anything on their own, Bruce."

Bruce shook his head.

Just then a few guys in collared shirts and press passes walked up, looking a bit nervous. "Umm, Chris, Chris, we---uh---we have a line outside. You have an autograph session for, uh, like ten minutes ago."

Chris grinned at the man. Why was he so nervous, he was only doing his job. The other man took a swig of his water and Chris "patted him", rather forcefully, on the back, causing him to spite out his drink and cough.

"No need to be nervous. Its not gonna kill me to sign a few posters for the losers who want to see a non-champion. Just wait until you see the line after Turning Point."

He points with his thumb at the other guy, the one who spit the water. "But your buddy here, he could use some help."

The man looks at Chris with a confused look. Just then, Chris ball-taps the man, who groans and goes to one knee. Chris smiles at the man as he goes to help his colleague.

Walking out to the crowd, they instantly cheer like he is some sort of king.

"The Chris Chaos autograph session is now open" he says, "lets sign some titties!"

END OF SCENE 1

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Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The Chris Chaos Show Ep. 1
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