“Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.”

Dave Pelzer, A Child Called "It"


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1984
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I’ve spoken about my childhood before. Not at great length mind you, but enough to paint a picture of of a miserable experience chalked full of loneliness and bullying. My story begins in the spring of 1984. I was 12 years old, sitting in class and staring at the clock. Much like any other day, I couldn’t wait for the school day to end so that I could go home, lock myself in my bedroom, and try and forget all of the nastiness of the day. As I’ve explained before, I didn’t have many friends. As a matter of fact, I only had one. His name was C.J. and he was literally the only kid that would speak to me and not try to find a way to assert his dominance. That’s right, no fat jokes, no calling me stupid for my failing grades, and no making fun of me for being a wrestling fan.

Much like myself, C.J. was a wrestling fan as well. Keep in mind, Hulkamania hadn’t taken wrestling to new heights yet, and at this point in time, wrestling was still widely considered entertainment for people of low intelligence, but for us, it was the greatest spectacle that we’d ever seen. I’d often sit in class and daydream about wrestling. Instead of doing my class work, I’d doodle pictures of some of my favorites back then. Chief among them, Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Now I know that he was the bad guy, but that didn’t matter to me. I really couldn’t relate to the squeaky clean heroes of wrestling like "Boogie Woogie Man" Jimmy Valiant anyhow. Guys like Piper though, I loved them. To me, they were the real heroes. Guys that did what they wanted, when they wanted, and they didn’t give a damn what anyone had to say about it. If you stood in their way, they’d crack a chair over your head and go about their day. Basically, they didn’t take shit, and for a kid who was taking other people's shit every day and felt powerless to do anything about it, these were the guys that I looked up to.


BuzzZZzzZZZzzZZzz


When the class bell rang that day, I quickly tossed my things into my bag and ran out of the class as quick as I could. A normal occurrence for me considering 99% of bullying takes place in the halls after class, it was always in my best interest to try and not linger around any longer than I had too. I pushed my way through the crowd as quickly as I could. Along the way I heard a few disembodied voices shout insults that may or may not have been directed towards me, but I wasn’t about the stop and find out. As I pushed my way through one of the heavy metal push bar doors to exit the building and was met with the warm glow of the sun on my face, it was a feeling of liberation. Immagine for a moment that you’ve committed some heinous crime and have been imprisoned for many years. Now imagine that all of the horrible things that people say about prison are true, and you’ve lived through them every day for the last ten years of your life. Now, Imagine that you’ve been set free. A bit extreme, I know, but at the time, this is how I felt each and every day when leaving this place and heading home to play Atari and pretend that none of these people existed.

Today would be different than all of the others though.

Jeff Buzman
”Hey Mikey, wait up!”

A familiar voice called out from behind me. Without turning to look, I knew it was Jeff Brusemen. A kid who for a while was picking on me pretty hardcore, but so far this year had mostly ignored me. I couldn’t imagine what he might want from me, other than to try and start a fight for no reason or maybe just call me some names. For that reason, I decided to pretend that I didn’t hear him and continue my way across the street from the school, hoping that he didn’t chase after me, because God knows that I couldn’t outrun him.

Jeff Buzman
”MIKEY! HOLD ON DUDE!”

Upon his second attempt to get my attention, I realized that he wasn’t going to just give up and leave me alone. I stopped in my tracks, closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning around.

Micheal Graves
”What do ya want Jeff?”

Jeff jogged up, slightly out of breath from jogging after me. He slowed down to a casual pace about twenty feet away from me, and with a suspiciously sly smile he asked.

Jeff Buzman
”Hey, are you going to the wrestling match tonight?”

Keep in mind, like I said before, I didn’t have any friends. So for Jeff to ask me anything on a human level was unsuspected. Standing there in what should be a common situation actually made me uncomfortable. Partially because of all of the bullying over the years causing me to not have much practice with interacting with people and partially because I couldn’t help but be suspicious of what Jeff’s real intentions were. In turn, I stood there with a stupid look on my face just staring through Jeff as I tried to figure out how to answer.

Jeff Buzman
”Um, listen man. If you wanna go, we’ve got an extra ticket.”

I snapped out of my trance and the sound of that. A slight smile formed on my face as I nodded.

Micheal Graves
”Yeah, I’d love to go!”

I replied without really thinking.

Jeff Buzman
”Okay dude, it’s at the armory tonight. Starts at 7:30pm. I guess we’ll see you there?”

I awkwardly nodded once again. I could tell that Jeff thought that I was behaving weird by the look that he gave me before he ran across the street to his friends. The entire way home I couldn’t help but to worry about how much trouble I would get into if I managed to get caught sneaking out of the house tonight, but I knew full well that I would never be allowed to go if I asked permission. I was never allowed to do anything fun. To be honest, I sometimes felt like my foster family was more interested in having a little slave to do work around the house than a child to nurture and love. Looking back on it now, I’m pretty sure they only accepted me into their home because of the checks that they received from the government.

Later that afternoon I planned my escape. I needed to leave the house by 7:00pm in order to make it to the armory in time for the start of the show. Shortly after dinner I pretended to have a stomach ache. My foster dad, Jim, grumbled that I was just trying to get out of doing my homework, but his wife, Myrtle, gave me a glass of warm milk and ushered me off to my room to lay down. Myrtle was nicer than Jim. I was close with her, closer than I was with anyone else. She really seemed to care about me, but at the same time she was weak, and whatever Jim said goes. She would never stand up to him, not even when she knew he was in the wrong. Myrtle would have allowed me to go to the show tonight if I were to ask, but I knew that Jim would have vetoed it in a heartbeat.

The next few hours were spent lying in bed, pretending to sleep anytime Myrtle would come check on me. As the clock approached 7:00pm, I had no choice but to make my move. I dug into my closet and stuffed shirts and pants under my blanket. With an artist skill that I believe could rival Michelangelo, I shaped the lump of clothes under my blanket to look like I was still in bed. Going out of my window was out of the question as the fall was too far for me to jump. The front door would be guarded by Jim as he sat in the living room every night until the early hours of the morning, chewing tobacco and watching TV. The den was my only option. It would exit to the back of the house where my bike was anyway. With a plan of action already worked out, I snuck down the steps and made it outside without any problems. I grabbed my bike and walked it down the side of the house and through the neighbors yard just to ensure that Jim and Myrtle didn’t see me riding down the road.

On the ride over, I felt a rush. This was the first time that I had ever done anything like this, and to get one over on Jim felt good! Unfortunately about halfway across town I began to worry about what would happen if my foster parents realized that I was gone? How mad would Jim get? This fear ultimately stopped me from going to the wrestling show or making new friends.

I took the same route home that I had taken to leave. I cut across the neighbors yard, came in through the den, and snuck up the steps to my room. I was only gone for about 20 minutes, and I was relieved to have made it back without getting caught. I grabbed the knob to my bedroom door and turned it. I creeped inside and quietly closed the door. As I turned around I was met by a shadowy figure and a booming voice.

”WHERE IN THE HELL YOU BEEN BOY!?!”

Oh shit, I thought. Jim caught me and he didn’t sound too pleased!

To be continued...


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Present Day
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My match against James Raven has just concluded. I could tell that there was something special happening in that ring from the moment that we walked out. Turns out that Raven and I have amazing chemistry, and tonight, we put on a classic that the fans will be talking about for years to come. Despite my best efforts, I did not walk away with the victory. Raven is considered a legend for a reason, and that reason is because he is able to adapt to any situation and find a way to win. However, even with a losing effort under my belt, I can’t help but feel proud. At a time in my career where everyone had seemingly written me off, I put on what was arguably the match of the night and went toe to toe with a guy that everyone assumed would make quick work of me.

The echo of the crowd applauding the both of us at the conclusion of that match is still ringing in my ears as I limp down the hallway to my locker room. I tweaked my knee something awful tonight. Oddly enough, it was while I was working on Raven’s legs. I dropped both knees down across his and immediately felt something pop. I ignored it and continued the match though. I’ve always been good at ignoring pain while out in the spotlights, but right now, I’m not afraid to say it hurts like hell.

As I limp past catering, I glance at the booking sheet for Turning Point. Throughout the night, management has been adding matches to it. A lot of them are dependent on outcomes tonight, so it’s been a slow process. It would seem that my name has been added to the sheet while I was out in front of the crowd. It reads Cadryn and Graves vs Muddy and Gilly. Ladder match for a Tag Title shot. I quickly ponder if I’m being rewarded with an opportunity to challenge for the Tag Titles, or punished by being pushed down to the opening of the show. It’s no secret that Lane wanted me to defeat Raven and block the match between the two of them at Turning Point. No doubt he’s pissed at me right now.

Oh well, I’ll just continue to do me and deal with whatever punishment is thrown my way. It can’t last forever right?

I continue down the hall, and eventually to my locker room door. I think to myself that I better enjoy it, doubt that I have a private locker room again after tonight. I push my way through the door only to be met by a surprise. Jim Caedus sitting on one of the wooden benches in front of the lockers and staring at the door. As I walk in, Jim jumps to attention, a big smile on his face as he approaches me with his arms out. Other than a brief feud between us during a time where I wasn’t right in the head (when am I ever?), Jim and I have remained on decent terms backstage since the breakup of AX3. Still, I wouldn’t have expected what comes next.

Jim Caedus
”Hell of a match Mikey!”

Jim says as he wraps those big tree trunk arms around mine and squeezes.

Micheal Graves
”Um, thanks Jim...”

I reply just before he releases the bear hug, thus allowing me to breathe once more.

Jim Caedus
”I’m serious bro! It sucks that you didn’t get the win over Raven, but I promise you that you turned a lot of heads tonight! People had forgotten how good you can be, but after what you just put James Raven through, they won’t be forgetting again anytime soon!”

For as big and bad as Jim is, he can also be a really cool guy. So long as you don’t cross him, he can be really sweet and caring. Hell, sometimes even when you do cross him he can still be one of the most good hearted people around. When I first met Jim I didn’t fully trust him. I was sure that this had to be an act, but as I’ve gotten to know him better over the last year, I’ve come to find him to be sincere in moments like this.

Micheal Graves
”I appreciate it Jim, and hey, congratulations on moving on the the finals of the Universal Title tournament!”

With a slight smile, Jim nods before replying.

Jim Caedus
”Finn Kuhn put up a hell of a fight. That kid has a lot of heart.”

Having watched the match just before mine, I nod in agreement. Finn may not have beaten Jim, but he put up far more of a fight than anybody gave him credit too, and damn near did the impossible.

Micheal Graves
”Did you see the booking sheet for Turning Point yet?”

Jim takes a deep breath and smiles as he exhales through his nose.

Jim Caedus
”Yeah I saw it. So you and Cadryn are teaming again huh?”

Micheal Graves
”With both “The Kings” and AX3 disbanding over the last few months, it just makes sense.”

Jim ponders it for a moment before nodding in agreement.

Jim Caedus
”It does, you two always seem to stick together, even when you’re at odds with one another. It’s actually kind of odd how close you guys are come to think about it.”

I just shrug off Jim’s statement.

Micheal Graves
”Eh, we have history together.”

Jim smiles, having a similar relationship with me now.

Jim Caedus
”Hey, sometimes that’s all it takes, right?”

A slight smile forms as I nod in agreeance.

Jim Caedus
”Alright bother, I have some other things to take care of before the night is over, but you take care man, and goodluck against Gilmour and Muddy.”

Jim’s already walking to the door as I reply.

Micheal Graves
”Thanks man, same to you...”

I take a seat on the bench as Jim leaves. I remove my knee brace and gently massage my knee in an effort to determine how bad it really is. The answer? Pretty bad. I limp over to the door and call out for a trainer to come check my knee. A few minutes later I’m told that it’s just fluid. I’m given an ice pack and advised that it may need drained if the swelling doesn’t go down on it’s on over the next few days.


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GILMOUR GIRLS
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Micheal Graves
”So here we are, just weeks away from Turning Point, and after having the match of my career against James Raven I’m thrown into a tag match with my bud Cadryn against Peter Gilmour and Muddy Waters? To say that the boss is a little salty with me coming up short against Raven would be an understatement! Listen, I get it, Vinnie didn’t want to fight Raven at Turning Point. So he came up with this plan to throw a big name in Raven’s path and say hey, you gotta beat him before you even get a shot at me. Vinnie wanted Doc, but Doc wasn’t around, and as he scrambled to find somebody to throw in that match against Raven, there was only one guy Crazy enough to raise his hand and say, “Yo boss man, choose me!” so I didn’t get the job done, and now Lane vs Raven is happening at Turning Point. Oh, and since Cadryn helped to whip me back into ring shape for that match, I guess he’s guilty of association, right?

Sue me, it’s not like you would have gotten any better of a result had you thrown anyone else that was actually available into that match. How do you think Muddy Waters or Peter Gilmour would have fared if they had to step into the ring with James Raven? An overweight hasbeen who’s somehow bigger in Japan, not that I understand how the fucker could possibly get any bigger, and a drunken hillbilly whose it factor was gone long before his daughter vanished off of the face of the Earth.

Vinnie knows that those guys would have been destroyed. Raven wouldn’t even have broken a sweat as he hit “Flight of the Raven” and pinned them within minutes of the match starting.

So what is Vince’s game here? Does he really think that he’s setting us up for a big loss at Turning Point?

No, not even Lanes that dense, but he does know what he’s doing. He has effectively thrown me and Cadryn into the trash. We’re the second match on the card and our opponents are both a couple of second class hasbeens. Sure, we’ll win, but will anyone care?

No, they won’t.

The only potential bright spot in this match is the fact that the winners will receive a shot at the Tag Team Titles. At first glance it would almost make one question my claims of being punished with this match, but really, what do I gain from this?

First of all, the Tag Division is pretty much dead around here. All of the teams that we had over the summer have broken up, or all together vanished.

So let’s be real. If Me and Cadryn wanted a shot at the Tag Titles at any given moment, I don’t think we’d have to stand in too deep of a line.

But where’s the punishment you ask?

Easy, like I said, Vinnie knows that outside of a bolt of lightning striking both me and Cadryn down in the ring during this match, we’re going to win. When we do, we will be fast tracked to that Tag Title shot. One that not only sees me and Cadryn having to go toe to toe with our friend Jim, but one that Vinnie doesn’t think we will win.

As a matter of fact, he hopes that the combination of Engy and Jim will fuck us up so bad that our careers in the XWF are over and he doesn’t have to deal with either one of us anymore.

The problem is, I don’t like living up to others expectations of me, and neither does Cadryn. You want me in the ring with Jim, fine, we’re all professionals, and we all know how to separate business from our friendship. So you won’t cause a wedge there. If you think that Engy and Jim will run through us, and maybe, hopefully, hurt us. Well, maybe, they are the champs, and they are facing each other for the Universal Title at Turning Point, so it’s no doubt that right now, in this moment, they are the best that the XWF has to offer.

Which is a far cry from who we’re facing at Turning Point.

Fuck, I didn’t even know that Muddy Waters was still in the XWF. The last time that I remember him actually having a match was around this time last year on an Anarchy I think. Of course, he did just grab a win over Phantom Panzer, so there’s a feather in his cap.

...And Peter Gilmour?

Do I really have to deal with this overgrown turd again?

Peter Gilmour is second biggest joke in the XWF next to Drezdin.

Name drop boy, get famous!

I mean, seriously, it boggles my mind how the guy even manages to remain on the roster.

Yo Pete, when’s the last time that you did anything of value?

I’m not talking about winning matches either. I’m asking, when is the last time that you did anything, ANYTHING in the XWF that anyone gave a shit about?

I’m going to go ahead and pass that question on to Muddy as well.

The two of you, for however great you may have once been, have became nothing more than enhancement talent.

For those at home wondering what that means. It means that these guys are only kept around because their names meant something once upon a time, and even though they both kinda suck now. They’re still considered nice to have around when a card needs filled.

We might as well be facing BX3 at Turning Point, because that’s the challenge that’s been put in front of us.

Now Peter, bless your heart, I know that you can’t do any better, try as you might. You are who you are and that’s all there is too it.

But Muddy, somewhere deep down, I know there’s still some part of that great Champion looking to get out. If you want to buck the trend, get back on that horse, and bring the fire that fueled you through the better part of your career, then do it!

If you’ve got it in you, then let's find out what’s left in the tank.

Because where’s the fun in walking over a couple of hasbeens?"


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THE END
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