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Chris Clemens · (12-29-2017)

-$-The scene opens up to a beautiful day in Jacksonville Florida. Palm trees are blowing from a slight breeze coming off the ocean. Waves can be heard crashing in the background setting a tranquil and peaceful environment. The silence is suddenly interrupted by Chris Clemens theme music booming from a distance. The camera spins around to see a giant green stretch hummer limo speeding up and then screeching to a stop.-$-

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-$-The driver side door opens and the 7-foot giant Geico steps out wearing a limo driver outfit.-$-

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-$-He walks to the back of the car and opens the door. The Impossible Chris Clemens steps out fiddling with his phone, wearing his usual suit and tie combo. He walks up to the camera still messing with his phone then says. -$-

Chris - What the fuck is this!?

-$-Chris stairs at his phone intensely as Geico walks up beside him.-$-

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Chris - Are you fucking kidding me!! Who the fuck is Chris Clemons!?!? (Shows Geico his phone) Why does the Warfare card say Chris god damn Clemons with an "O"? Who the hell is in charge of this place!?! ( Chris knocks on the camera lens.) Hello! Anybody in there Mcfly!? Its spelled C.l.e.m.e.n.s! I want to speak with who ever's in charge of posting the card! This has got to be a mistake! Or is it! (Puts the phone away and shoots a mean look at the camera.) This was done on purpose! Vince did this just to be a dick because he didn't want to sign me! That's right... He didn't want the Impossible one in his federation, but he couldn't refuse due to the overwhelming response from my people! The fans spoke and Vince was up against a wall so why not poke fun at the Impossible one. (cracks a smile) Have your fun Vince because one day you'll be handing me the keys to the palace and I will have once again done the impossible.

-$-Chris takes a look back at his green limo then looks back at the camera with a smile on his face.-$-

Chris - You like the new limo!? Ha haaaaa, That's right ordered a bigger, better and more green baby! Me and Geico can't be seen pulling up in the pink dildo express!! No offense Gloria. (winks at the camera) But no really, let's get down to business and why I'm really here. You see, I'm a nice guy and I like to get gifts for my opponents. Me and Michael Mcbride haven't met in person but still, out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to get my boy Mcbride a gift out of respect for his Irish background. That's right, I know, I know. You're thinking, "Chris Clemens is such an amazing guy." Well, you're not wrong my friends. I'm such a nice guy that his gift is being delivered right now actually..

-$- Chris pulls out his phone and scrolls through as a huge grin appears on his face. He gets giddy with excitement.-$-

Chris - It's there, It's there!! Look, look, look...

-$-Chris positions the phone where him Geico and the camera can see a live feed playing out on the screen.-$-

Chris - This is live right outside Mr. Mcbride's home just so everyone is aware! Any moment now...

-$- The phone screen shows Mcbride's house and what looks like a dump truck backing up to his driveway. The truck puts off a loud beeping sound as it reverses up to Mcbride's driveway. -$-

Chris - Here comes the present! You're welcome Mr.Mcbride. the pleasure is all mine. Thank me later!

-$- The dump truck starts to raise as potatoes.....thousands and thousands of potatoes come dumping out of the truck and into the Michaels driveway. -$-

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Chris - HAHAHAHAHA!!!

-$-Chris Clemens starts tearing up from laughter as Geico just looks on with that same expression he always has.-$-

Chris - Oh come on! It's funny right? Potatoes.. Irish... Irish eat lots of potatoes... No?.. Jeez, your sense of humor needs some work if you're going to be hanging around me all the time. Come on let's go to Taco Bell and get like.. I dunno, a thousand hard shell tacos. Just tell them to fill the fucking limo up! You down Geico?

Geico - Si!

Chris - Let's do this my big freaky friend. As for you Michael Mcbride.. You get nice and loaded up on all the potatoes you want. Make up some Colcannon for the relatives back in the old country. (cracks a smile) As for now me and Geico are gonna go throw down on some Taco Bell. Until we meet again, same Impossible place, same Impossible time!

-$- Chris and Geico walk towards the limo as the screen fades. -$-

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