The lights were on, and the table was set. There were a bunch of stuffed animals sitting around the table, watching the makeshift stage. A voice rang out from under the table.

"We are ready to begin! The XWF's Inagural Puppet Show is about to get under way. Tonight, we feature 5 men who will be competing for a 24/7 briefcase at Leap of Faith!" First up, we have the former champion, Scully Puppet!



" Hayyyy Erreeeybody! I am Scully Puppet! My mudda gave me time out the house so I am coming here to tell you all I am gon' win the tournament! I am gon' win that shit, yo! Rape, piss, scat, Batman! I done won' the title once already, and I ain't defend that shit in like evers! I might be , but you guys are just mean! I wants to win this hole dam thing cuz I don't got nuttin else and muh caretaker told me I ain't worth a dam. My buddy Guppy will still wuv me tho! Yayyyyyy!

"Nice........I guess.........."

"Next up to state their case, we have Gabe Reno!"



"Arrrrrrghhhh! I am Gabe Reno! I loooveeee coookies! I also love complaining when I lose and not being as good as I say I am! Rawwwrr! I am a monster because I am an enigma and I love doing promos about deep stuff I don't understand. Rawwrr!"

"Okay, that was......uhh.....weird........Hooookay, how about Danny Imperial!"



"Which one am I?! I don't even know! First I'm orange, then I'm blue, then I'm orange. Ooooohhh but don't piss me off! You don't want my other side to come out! I am so consumed in what i probably autism that I fail to realize that neither of my personalities are worth a shit! Pick me as briefcase holder because I'll probably lose it trying to find myself!"

"Creepy."

"Robert Main coming to the stage!"



"I used to look like Rambo.....now I'm a cop. Bow to my because I won't be a cop long, I'm probably quitting again soon!"

"Good god......"

"And finally..............."



"I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!I'm Jim Caedus!"

Oh look.....we even have a Vinnie puppet.



"Suh Dudes!"

The table flips, and Chris Chaos steps out, crushing all of the puppets and throwing them against the wall. He looks into the camera.

"Can I say I am shocked that we haven't heard from Gabe Reno yet? I sure hope he didn't quit again after losing to me. He has made that sort of a habit now. Both losing to me, and quitting. Neither of which is the stamp and brand of someone who deserved to be champion, or deserves to have a ALMOST--yes, Jim, almost--guaranteed shot at being the champion. Gabe has been called the enigma. Sure, lets go with that. Gabe, you are going to lose tomorrow night---I wouldn't be surprised if you are the first one thrown off the scaffolding---and then you are going to lose to me on Warfare. Perhaps it is time to try another profession? Maybe ballet. Or Tap Dancing? You tap dance around success so much as of late, it would only be fitting. I don't even have anything to say to you because you don't matter to me anymore. I used to rank you as one of my foes---now I just see you as a day off.

Scully. Consider this our maiden voyage. I wanted to be the one to take that title from you a year ago, but Peter Gilmour beat me to it. I called you out, and over and over again you ducked me. You made every excuse in the world as to why the new guy couldn't have a piece of one of the longest raining champions in this company. So, I sat back, and I let Peter beat you. Then I won the belt against 5 other of the top competitors in this company, and I am going to beat the top 5 again. Yes, Scully, you are top 5, don't get a boner now. If you are in this match, you are considered "Top 6". I am going to put an end to the era once and for all because I am going to toss you off that rafter to the floor below and watch your mangled body try to be put back together again like Humpty fuckin Dumpty. I don't view you as a threat, but you damn sure better view me as one. I am going to do what I should have done a year ago and that is just snuff you out with a spear and leave you coughing up blood. Have you figured out that I don't like you yet? .

Danny Imperial. You lunatic. You probably are feeling pretty good about your odds coming into this match after back to back wins over me and Jimmy the past few weeks, aren't ya? Probably been patting yourself on the back. Need I remind you that although you have strung together a few impressive wins on Warfare and Savage, you have never won the big one? Oh yeah, look it up. When the pressure is applied, Danny chokes. Go back through history....when the brighest lights come on, Danny's lights go off. You can brag all you want about how you beat Jim and I but until you do something in this business besides having full blown conversations with yourself---something, worthwhile--then you have a reason to open those piss flaps you call lips. When you can win a match that puts you at that elite level, then you have some sort of argument. Until then, just shut up because you sound stupid.

Robert Main.....I think I've exposed you for the fraudulent fool you are already. I notice you've been quiet since then. No more erroneous claims about "waxing" me and being better than me in any way shape or form? Get my dick out of your mouth and realize that you will NEVER be on my level. You're just like Reno in the rage quit department. Hell when you are thrown off that scaffolding tomorrow night, we probably will never see you again. Good. Nobody missed you when you took your ball and went home the first time, nobody will miss you when you do it this time. Who will you come back looking like next time? I have my money on Neville.

Jim Caedus. The man who can't form full sentences but accuses me of butchering the English language. The man who I have admittedly never beaten. The man who has more subtly gay references masked by overzealous aggression than anyone I've ever heard before....anywhere. The man who is so caught up in is own macho bullshit that he thinks I lost to Cadryn. Umm...Jimmy.....why don't you get your facts straight before you attack me. When you say things like that, YOU look like the jester. I am coming home with that briefcase, fellas, and the Chaos era will begin once again! I just did a goddamn puppet show for goodness sakes! You tell me when the last time is that you got that creative!

Scene fades to black.