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~~C Y R E N~~ · **01-13-2013, 07:26 PM**

I present to you a million reasons why I've lost the drive and ability to succeed as of late. Also including possible mitigating circumstances.

Where did Cyren's luster go?

1) It was stolen by the Hamburglar.
2) Christ turned into a Dinosaur and appeared in Cyren's dreams, urging him to feast only on plant life and to leave the 'meat' alone.
3) SATAN! transmogrified Cyren into a small bunny rabbit for a short period of time, leaving him whimpering and terrified.
4) So paranoid at the prospect of a legitimate loss to Peter Gilmour, Cyren went on a bender with a choir of angels, earning him eternal damnation and a case of syphilis from a prostitute.
5) Avril Lavigne is in heat and requests to be engaged sexually 10 hours a day.
6) Shane

's recent ascension back into prominence has overshadowed any plans that the 'BloodKnight Rogue' had previously put into motion.
7) So enthralled he was by Selena Gomez, the 'Sickness' had mislocated his testicles and wandered into an ashram, swearing off of a life of violence.
8) Too busy celebrating the inaugural 'Steve Jason is the Master of the Universe' extravaganza.
9) It's baby eating season.
10) Too much protein from consumed infants has caused a destabilizing case of gout.
11) He's old. Not like 'Be a dear and fetch me my 'teeth' old... but still.
12) Annheiser Bush just awarded him free beer for an entire year.
13) Michael James has paid Cyren to lose to him, 'fixing matches.'
14) Without Tristan Slater as an adversary, he just can't find a suitable amount of 'douchebagness' to hate in comparison.
15) Unknown Soldier delivered Goat Meth to Cyren's home to mix the sedetive effects of drinking with a massive upper.
16) Too many visits to men's 'bath houses.' *This was done only as a liason to Shane

to keep his identity unknown.
17) He has received AIDES. Full-Blown AIDES whom have continuously been unable to help Cyren in his daily endeavors since they have Sebastien Duke and Sid Feder attached to their nether regions.

........... and on and on and on and on.... the list swells....

745) Having achieved every possible thing in the industry, there's simply nothing left to motivate him. Without an 'unbeatable' enemy, there's no goal.

....

869) Fearing that he might 'hurt' his legacy by 'clinging' to the ring, he's contemplating a full retirement.
870) Being the only 'Legend' to remain, may be the only reason he's still on the roster. When he goes, with him goes the mysticism behind XWF.

......

925) When told his opponent was once again the blind 'Michael James', he refused to hurt the disabled man any further. The man never removes his shades so the 'Rogue' has to assume he was compensating for something.

.......

947) Cyren is tired of pussy-footing around this place, unable to unleash his 'true persona.' For his is not easily quantifiable; it defies all attempts to stuff it neatly and nicely into a box.

......

1,895) There's no challenge anymore; no reason to 'hunger.' He sees a new generation of those whom are famished and his stomach is still bulging from his last 'meal.' Perhaps 'glory' really is a young man's game.

........

286,666) ~~He just doesn't care anymore.~~

FREE FLOATING THOUGHTS

Heart Bubbles and Smoking Ash
Monkey Donkey Punches.
Underage sex.
Terminate Michael James.
He is sort of black.
Claims to be Asian.
Don't like that.
Need a drink.
Maybe some drugs.
Sammich?
I'd like a sammich.
And devil fucking.
Goat Heads have a leathery inside.
Sid Feder is kind of a one-trick pony.
Soldier is undefeated because he faces homeless jobbers.
Angelus is a Joss Whedon fan, methinks.
N.A.Z.I. is a very limited person, mentally.
I like his limitation.

's back to being insane.
In a fun way.
Sebastien Duke had glitter pop out of his ass on Impact.
Who put it up there?
I'm a fucking Legend.
Slack, deserve I do.
Yoda had the perfect way to talk.
Pizza would be nice as well.
Hickbilly and Grand Wizard should hold a benefit.
A benefit for the NAACP.
Randall Cross can have it on his 'Special' show.
Half the federation leaves? Tristan Slater's fault.
#Cutting for Bieber
Anne Hathaway in 'Les Mis' is absolutely breath taking.
Blair, get off my dick.
No, you can't chew on it.
Okay... maybe a lil.
Ursula Areano is just 'titty-pop.'
Mr. Satellite and "." are probably mirror versions of one another.
They're like aliens.
Intriguing, they be.
Triple L should hook up with Sid Feder.
Sid is 3x Better then Michael James.
Michael James is 3x Worse then Cyren.
Cyren vs. Sid Feder is a much more interesting match up.
Michael James has no discernible personality.
We see all kinds of 'events' and opinions on a weekly basis.
He's just 'vanilla.'
No pep.
Give me purple zebras doing Bukkake with Sebastien Duke, Neonero and Nio,
Now, that's funny, right there, huh?
I think so.
Madness and Malady go hand in hand.
Sometimes it can be funny, tho.
I once raped this 4 year old girl.
As I was cutting off her head, I screamed 'Fatality!"
Get it?
It's from a video game.
Final Fantasy 8 was the best of that brand.
'Lionheart' is a badass maneuver.
I'ma try that on Michael James on Madness.
I'm doing shrooms before our match, though.
I'm also gonna have sex with a small Chinaman.
I'll call him Michael Johns.
Do all pussies taste salty when you lick 'em?
What's a cock taste like?
Note to self:
Ask Peter Gilmour.
SATAN! is very pitiful.
He don't exactly cut the mustard,
I'm very excited to have a match with him.
Have to call Wally Walnuts in the morning.
Offer him a bag of blow and some nice, new murdering tools.
He reminds me of the guy from 'American Psycho.'
80's music as a general rule is very over-rated.
Christopher Walken has to be the coolest sumbitch in the world.
Someone remind Blair to take her pills.
She has cut off our elderly neighbors testicles.
She's juggling them, toss-- no, wait.
Now, she's just... yea, they're lunch.
Vomiting, now.
Passes out.
I pee on her 'cuz I'm bored.
I'm growing tired of 'professional wrestling.'
I just might stat showing up with a .45 to my matches.
Force the opponents to count outs every week.
I could do more blow that way.
In fact, that's what I'll do.
An AK-47 and a .45.
I should start by murdering Greggo.
Cut his head off afterwards.
Fuse it to the Goat's.
Create an entity known as 'Goato.'
Maybe I should grow a Super-Saiyan tail.
Go 'oozaku' in the open moon.
If I'm a 700-foot Gorilla, who's really gonna fuck with me?
This salvia is kickass.

As Cyren sets the pen down, he removes his 'reading glasses.' He sits back, propping his feet up on the desk.

In the end, I've been so occupied with my time lately, introducing a new 'cadre' of talent into the XWF, I've felt more productive in a 'background' role then continuing to be the face of the company. I've got a 'ticking time bomb' on me; it's in my joints, in my muscles... it's bone-deep. Do I simply rush forward untiI implode? Or do I step aside with my dignity in tact? If I can't come out to that ring with 100% of myself, should I come out at all?

Is a Cyren at 50% still better then most? Yes.

Is it a 'Cyren' the world should see? That remains a question...

I have a feeling these issues may resolve themselves shortly. I do know, I've only got this 'one run' left in the tank. If given a juicy enough prospect, I'll make damn sure to summon up enough to finish out in a blaze of glory. Beyond that, lacking that, I'm lost amidst the seas, drifting aimlessly.

Michael James is convinced he's the 'next big thing.'

I'm just trying to figure out I'm still one of those or not... my heart's not in this match. There's not enough build up to it, it's not big enough of a deal for me to care. That's the track record of my career - put a prize in front of me, I'm your man. I'm unbeatable, then. If we're just 'going through the motions' and having another match just for the sake of it? I'm probably not going to bother bringing my heart out there. I'll keep it tucked away in the drawers of this desk and save it for my memoirs...

We'll see if I am given reason to show Michael James who 'Cyren' really is... I doubt it though. I don't think his time and mine are going to intersect in that manner.

Oh, well....

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode A Bundle of Reasons Why Cyren is 'Lost.'
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