Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Chris Chaos · (04-26-2017)

Chris Chaos sat in the RIVERS Casino on 777 Casino Dr in Pittsburgh, not far from PNC Park where Savage was being held. He sat at the table in the exclusive Poker Room. He currently had a good hand, too, but he didn't know what the other hands were at the table. That is the beauty of poker. You just never knew. But what Chris DID know is that a KING is not the best. In fact, a KING sometimes isn't good at all. Everyone thinks the KING is the best hand in poker, but they are wrong.

The best card in poker, is an Ace. And that's what Chris felt he was. An Ace at everything he did. You see, an Ace stood up on it's own. A KING needed to be supported by the other cards around it. Chris Chaos didn't NEED AX3, AX3 NEEDED HIM. The Kings, they NEEDED AX3 in order to thrive. So, by default they were below him.

Anyway's, it was his turn. He didn't have time to harp on who sucked and who didn't, he had money to win.

Looking down at his hand, he had a 7 and a 9, off suit. Garbage hand.

Fold.

You see, sometimes you have to know when to fold. You have to be smart. Sometimes it is the right move. Those who bully their way into hands often lose their ass on the flop. Chris was calculated, he always was.

The next hand was dealt, and this one was a little better. This time he had a KING and a 6. Okay, he'd see the blind.

The flop came out. KING, 3 of Spades and 9 of Clubs. Ahh, you see, now his KING was stronger because he had another KING there to support him. The 6 did him no good though. Oh well, he'd throw in a chip. I mean, two KINGS are pretty good right? That's what he was told.

The next card came out. 4 of Hearts. Does nothing. Checks around the table. River time!

6 of Diamond. 2 pairs.

Now, he knew he had SOMETHING. But, his KING would be useless without help. A KING by itself, and his hand was crushed.

He split the pot, but he could thank the 6 for that, not the KING. The other guy had a KING 6 also. His KING needed help too.

ALL KINGS NEED HELP TO SURVIVE.

Next hand. This time, he got lucky. Ace and a 9 of hearts. Ace 9, solid hand. But lets see the flop.

WOW. BIG FLOP.

Jack, Queen, KING.

But yet again, the KING needed the ACE to survive as a straight. Chris had a straight already, but lets see the rest.

"I bet."

Two useless cards.

"Straight, with the nuts" that is poker terms for the high card.

Last hand, he thought to himself, then he would go enjoy a night of drinking mojitos and plowing the hottest chick in the business....

A CHAMPIONS lifestyle.

This time he was in a battle. Chris has Pocket Aces. "ALL IN", Chris pushed his chips forward.

The man across from him didn't hesitate. "I match". What the fuck did he have?

Everyone else folded for these two card juggernauts.

The man didn't back down. He stared straight into Chris's eyes with a dumb little grin. He was too cocky.

It was time to reveal. The man confidently threw his cards down.

"POCKET KINGS"

Chris laughed. Like actually, legitamately laughed. He laughed like he hadn't laughed in some time now. Mid laugh he set his POCKET ACES down.

The man opened his eyes wide with a look of both astonishment and dissapointment.

"You can't act like a king just because you have kings......" Chris said, "Kings will dissapoint you everytime."

He laughed again, slapping the man and knocking him off his chair before collecting his chips in a big pile.

KINGS will let you down every-time......

[Image: shZUO9x.jpg]

"John Samuels.....a king? A legend....the senator? Which one is it? Hell I don't even think he knows. Accomplishments up the wazoo.....Universal Champion, "King of the XWF", European Champ, Tag Champ, Trios Champ, Superstar of the Month......hell, this guy is more decorated than a gay teenagers bedroom. But what does it mean? Who actually remembers John Samuels? He may have won belts, he may have achieved awards, but he didn't shake foundations. He hasn't moved mountains, so to speak. If you look back at the history of this company and the men who shaped the landscape and changed the face forever, where does John Samuels sit? I had to scroll down so much my thumbs became sore. He is more over-hyped than the ESPY awards. All this build up about something new and trendy and when it arrives, it is the same old bullshit. The kings are rusty, old, and more used up than a two dollar whore. THE NEW ERA IS NOW. AX3 is the new era. I have done what I needed to do to advance my career by surrounding myself with the company's 4 top talents. I have put myself in the company of this business's REAL kings. John Samuels, and the rest of the geriatric convention, doc included, is nothing more than an afterthought in the annals of history. What happens when you bury a king? A new king takes over, and everyone forgets that first king ever existed. Kings make laws that are fitting to their needs and take the old kings laws and discard them. Once a king is gone and buried, things change, things aren't the way things used to be anymore.

THINGS ARE MY WAY NOW.

I am the leader of this new faction, this new face, this new era.

I'll give you polesmokers this, though, you are very creative in your third grade insults. I mean I have never seen a group of older men have more juvenile disses in my life.

The Most Overrated Superstar Since Gabe Reno Said:Is AX3 just an after-school program for autistic kids or something?

Oooooooooh good one. Funny. You know if this wrestling thing doesn't work out, you may have a career as a dive bar stand up comic.

The Most Overrated Superstar Since Gabe Reno Said:Chris Chaos is the most flamboyant AIDS peddler I’ve ever seen.

Well, this "AIDS peddler" has beaten your beloved Doc. I beat him cleanly. I beat him when the match was adjusted last minute to favor him. Doc had this allure about him....he was feared. Everyone told me that I was going up against the mighty "Doctor Louis D'Ville" and that my chances were slim. That he was the best bet to go to the Elimination Chamber and become the next Universal Champion. But I took him out, and it propelled me forward to become the Universal Champion. At that moment, that very moment, when the casket opened at it was Doc's dirt covered face---which is pretty much like his normal face--inside, and not mine, the world knew it was over. HE knew it was over. I have opted into damn near every card and Doc barely wrestles anymore. He knew his Era, the Kings Era, YOUR Era, was over.

But then what happened? You gentlemen hid behind Paul Heyman's microphone for months, all while teasing a return as some monstrous sharks, and when you get here the best you can come up with is:

The Most Overrated Superstar Since Gabe Reno Said:“Chris Chaos is a .”

I am disappointed. To say the very least. I was expected a king, and all I got was a joker.

Can I get a refund?

But I will get my money back because I will be holding up the XWF Tag Team Title belt while you lay in a pool of your own mediocrity. Then, on Warfare, I will win the Trios belt. Then I will win the Universal Title back. This company is about to be taken by storm but it is not by you clowns, oh no. No no no no no. It is about to be taken over by CHRIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS and his brothers in AX3. Not by some washed up two bits who were never really that good to begin with.

I struggle to understand why you don't see it. Look at what I have done in 8 short months that took you YEARS to accomplish? What do you have to hold over my head? I've been Universal Champion, I've been Superstar of the Month. The only reason I haven't been tag champs is because I haven't went for them. After Warfare, I will have the Tag Belts and the Trios belts. The Euro belt is obsolete. And I did it all in 8 months. I will have the same, if not a BETTER resume than you do. So where do you get off thinking in the slightest that you have ANY merit in the shit talking department?

Oh, yeah, you were the Federweight Champion 8 times. I forgot about that.

Big bad John Samuels, 8 time Federweight Champion.

Take a minute to soak that in. 8 times. Wow.

Are you sensing the sarcasm yet?

When the kings get buried this weekend, we can put an end to this mosquito once and for all. I mean come on, plastered all over the front page? Jim Caedus cashed in his 24/7 briefcase and nobody says a word. All I see are kings this and kings that. You are "SICK" of Graves addressing the Kings the way he does? Well I am SICK of seeing the kings over-hyped asses plastered all over MY company. Okay, so you fuckers own 50 percent, big fucking deal. All you did by owning a share in the company is make the Chris Chaos problem that much larger. Because I am not going anywhere. In fact, I am just going to be in your face even more than before. I don't know if you have been paying attention in your absence to what has gone on here, but I have a little problem with authority. I have a little problem being told what to do. I have a little problem with everyone, and everything, honestly. You see I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. And now that Gabe Reno no longer holds the belt that he STOLE from me, he doesn't matter to me any longer. I can turn my hatred onto you. I need new punching bags anyway. Why not you?

The way I see you, you're nothing but an overrated actor who has a line every few years or so that is so stupid it sticks. All I see is an actor being pushed by the powers above for no apparent reason other than people want to see what stupid line you will say next so they can make internet meme's. You are no longer John Samuel's to me. For the remainder of my Promo's leading up to Savage I am going to refer to you simply as:

SAMUEL L JACKSON.

Fitting, huh? I thought so, too.

[Image: P7ccBEh.jpg]

XWF RECORD: 29-7-2
XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION: 1x

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode When Kings Are Only Acting As Kings
Author	Message