Backstage, a littany of rumors have spun out of control. Typical wrestling industry standards. Some valid, some... not. As things like this get further and further from the originators mouth, the story tends to get warped just as far from the truth. All wrestlers at some point are guilty of contributing. Even upper management. It isn't always on purpose... sometimes shit just gets twisted into something it was never meant to be (like Television Champion). The beauty of this, is that you can also use it to your advantage. Start something because you know ears will hear it. Ask the things you know crawl under someones skin. Burrow into their subconcious. Sabotage their chances. End their dreams. Questions can overtake truth in a fever of misdirection.
LIKE...
"Is Chris Chaos going to show up for a match against two guys?"
OR...
"Does Thomas Nixon really need a valet to park his electric anal bum cover?"
AND STILL...
"What happened to Ghost Tank?"
EVEN...
"Why does Vinnie Lane closely resemble the cotton candy vendor at every major American theme park?"
THEN...
"How many times does Gabe Reno get to beat Chris Chaos before he shuts up?"
WAIT!
WHAT!?
There is actually a rumor about what circumstances have to take place to flap the unflappable from speaking? Who the hell would say something like that?
^ AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT ACCOMPLISHES ^
It makes the person who hears it, maybe not act on it... though, they could. It causes raw emotion. No time to think, only adrenaline on which to make mistakes. Even those who play it off still bury it away in a place of ressentment. Deep under the cobwebs of their closeted bigotry. Right next to the memories of that molesting uncle. Just above the realizations of failure they keep running from. Chris Chaos has eluded the fear of failure over recent months by playing the game of being in the right place at the right time. See his ultimate talent isn't based on in-ring skills... it is the savvy to know when to strike... and how to take advantage of situations. I know... "sore loser talking", right? Well... maybe this will change your perception of the Universal Chaotic One. Some fun Chaos like tricks. I call them illusions. Like the one Chris portrays on a nightly basis when he walks out and claims to be the best in the world at what he does. Yeah, because no one has ever heard that sentence as a declaration before? You know, I have some hidden talents that I am the best in the world at. Some I have kept a secret under a veil of not betraying my second craft. If word had gotten out that I was the one telling age old secrets, I could have been hated, or even worse, not fucked as hard by my assistants. Thus, I present to you... the other side of 'The Radical'. I call it... "The Ragical".
☆
Coming to a crowd in a circle somewhere in a Southern California parking lot, a masked man wearing a black suit with red highlights begins gesturing toward the crowd. The voiceover begins speaking for him for a television program with the listing "Magic Secrets Revealed" on the bottom of the screen. He conducts the audience to form a larger radius, but stay circular, as beautiful scantily clad assistants and stage hands are seen arranging some curtain like gray sheeting's on the ground around them. A previously recorded voiceover explains the purpose of the illusion.
Chris Chaos believes in forces of nature. He thinks he can dictate who wins matches... who gets shots at what... as the backstage whispers repeat. But if you listen closely, he pulls his own punches. Meaning, the art of illusion is all in slight of hand. Just like the voices being warped into rumor... Chris uses what is being observed to force his agends down the throat of XWF. It's brilliant, really. He's become quite the magician. Disappearing here, reappearing there. A light layer of Snow to cover his tracks. But, out of view... what is he really doing?
The camera does a low panoramic view of the masked magician showing the empty lot surroundings outside the circle of the constructed audience members. No trucks, boxes, cranes, or other types of vehicles or structures stand within hundred of feet of where the circle resides. The first curtain begins to come up as the Masked Magician circles with creative hand gestures and grace. Around the the next side... the voiceover continues on while watching the gray sheets rise on each side in the blowing Santa Ana winds.
See, the trick with guys like Chris... it that you have to watch what they don't want you to pay attention to. Watch the magician. Watch how he drops a coin into his hand, closes his hand, shows you the closed hand, opens it with a flourish, and the coin is gone! He smiles. You look to his other hand. He turns it over and opens it with the same flourish. Not there either! Then he takes your hand, closes it into a fist, opens it and there is the coin! It makes you feel like a child with enthusiasm and awe for life... as is why magic continues to thrive in venues around the world. People pay, and careers are made by luring the senses into a false sense of security... then directing attention with awe to adjust the outcome on the back end. Right, Chris? Your magical run has been in large part due to the same thing that feeds the imagination in real practiced magic... misdirection. The magician... in this case... you, exploits our tendency to look at the obvious while the real action is taking place elsewhere. Meanwhile people get beat, things happen, and people leave bewildered not sure what they just saw... but almost sure it was impressive. When the obvious is made compelling enough it’s hard to even imagine looking elsewhere. Economists have a name for the impact of only looking in one place: they call it Opportunity Cost. Whatever you are doing right now comes at the cost of everything else you might be doing instead, and there are always other things you could be doing. But, you aren’t considering the other things because you’re busy concentrating on the obvious. The obvious is just this... Thomas Nixon is pestering us both at every possible turn. You accepted a match you had no idea would be immune to misdirection. One where the winner will have to TAKE IT FROM THE OTHER TWO MEN! There is no way to slide a card down your sleeve. There is no invisible sheath the audience cannot see just before the unveil of Chris Chaos standing with his hand in the air. BECAUSE THERE CAN BE NO VICTORY... ONCE YOU HAVE BEEN EXPOSED!
The sheets are removed from the front where the Masked Magician stands. Behind him a large elephant stands with a mask matching the one of the magician positioned over it's trunk and tusks. The Masked Magician waves his hands, as the mask begins to glow bright yellow. His hands raise as if commanding the giant best to obey, the mask on the elephant turns into a digital graphic of Chris Chaos with a dumb look on his face as a quote lines the bottom of the screen reading "I am the best at what I do". The audience around the illusion begins to laugh, as the elephant marches repeating the phrase. After some time the joke loses steam. The Magician removes his mask... oh, The Ragical... and speaks to his motivations.
Amazing.. isn't it? How once you know what is behind the curtain... you immediately jump to conclusions about the why and how it arrived there. How did you not see that... what in the world made that occur? Yet, once the secret is told... the very idea of the trick makes you feel stupid and taken advantage of. Like the ugly girl on prom night who thought she was the one, then pig blood gets spilled on her, and she uses her magic to inflict rage and punishment on all those who mocked her. You are that girl Chaos. Only this time you have been exposed as the weak, magic-less piece of garbage you really are. So say your hocus pocus. Abra FUCKING CADABRA! VVVVWWAAAHLLAAA! Because once someone like 'The Radical' has seen your tricks once. He knows just how to bust the illusion. AND YOUR FACE WHILE I'M AT IT. The elephant in the room this time is so obvious, even massive gray sheets designed to hide it couldn't possibly do so. Everyone knows I have taken everyone I have faced in this place to the brink. Whether beating 19, losing to one, or aggravating the shit out of everyone in the back! I AM THE ERRATIC ENIGMA! I WILL NOT BE TRICKED! I WILL NOT BE REASONED WITH! I WILL WALK INTO WARFARE UNMASKED AND UNCONTROLLABLE! I WILL NOT LOSE TO SOME GUY WHO NAMED HIMSELF FUCKING CHAOS AGAIN! I WILL NOT BE THE BRUNT OF LOCKER ROOM WHISPERS WHILE YOU PRANCE AROUND WITH THAT UNIVERSAL TITLE! You won that belt, because no one was around to stop you. Happenstance. Is that how you want to be remembered, Chris? As the man who got it because no one else could? One the glory days had long since retired, even Scully and Gilly were too tired to fight anymore... and you walk in and take what was never rightfully yours. Sure, you may be a nice guy sometimes. People respect you because you play both sides of the line... whatever gets you where you need to go. THE GREAT CHAOTIC ILLUSION! CHRIS CHAOS... THE MAGIC ACT! Now watch again, folks! When Chris tries to bully the other competitors in this match with high praise then low blows... remember... it is all a trick. Next time watch the other hand. As he turns the upper hand over and makes a fist you see the coin slip into the lower hand in a much smaller movement. Chaos opens the empty hand and moves the lower hand to the top. Ignore the obvious movement. Notice instead how he guides the coin between his middle fingers. Try to ignore how he treats you all like morons while he opens the other hand and instead see him discreetly drop the coin into the first hand again. Finally, feel how he slides the coin into your palm as he closes your fingers. Magic? Perhaps not. But a classic illusion. The only problem is, magic was exposed by a man brave enough to call it out for what it is... innocent fun. But there is another side of magic you don't seem to get, Chris. One that can be risk taking. Dangerous. Life threatening, even. If you are not a trained professional... you should leave the real hijinks to the ones who do it best. Because you may be the best at what you do... but BITCH, SO AM I.
Wind is at your beckoned call being so chaotic, right? Good, then you can BLOW ME. VWAALLAAAA!
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