Who Am I?

Ever felt like you're lost in life? Not quite knowing who you are or who you want to be? Right now I feel like I'm lost in the whirlwind that they call life. Confident, arrogant, cocky, selfish, egotistical...just some of the words used to describe me over time. I feel none of those things though, so I can only question myself, question who I am. Am I all of those things? Or have I brought into what others said of me and changed my persona to be who they believed I was?

Sometime's in life it's not easy to let your guard down. It's not easy to show who you truly are. But what's even more frightning than that for me is that I'm lost, lost in that I'm not sure I know who I truly am deep down. Confused and broken...I just...I don't know...

"Kristen...it's me...again..."

I put her through so much. I've teased her. I've blamed her for my own faults, my own wrong doings. She's always been there for me. Always.

"That's right...me...your friend, Erin. Remember me?"

I remember you. How could I forget you?

"So, this is what...like...the seventh voicemail I've left you. No response. No call back. No Text. I mean, you could just let me know you're okay...or something..."

I wish I could tell you I wasn't okay. I just want to tell you that I'm not okay.

"I expect you're fuming about my earlier message...if you bothered to listen to it. Just in case you didn't, Savage Saturday...you know, the show you work, your job...you've got a show...a match...urgh, I don't even know why I'm wasting my time..."

You're right, Erin. Why are you wasting your time on somebody as broken as me?

"Anyway, again...I don't know what's going through your head, I don't even know if you're listening to this...I hope you're listening to this...just call me, text me...anything, just so I know you're okay. I guess I'll see you on Saturday...or...I dunno. I'm here if you need me, Kristen..."

You're always there for me, Erin.

"Just call me, OKAY?"

"To listen to this message again, press one. To delete this message, press two..."

And just like that, her voice and presence is gone. I guess I'll be there again on Saturday. I'll be there to paint a false picture, to hide behind the mask, to play the role of somebody I'm not even sure I am.

So I Ask Myself Again
Who Am I?
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