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Alexis Riot · (06-15-2016)

"Hello again Rioters,"

"It's been such a long time since I've graced the XWF, and holy shit, things have changed."

"Luckily for you, and unfortunate for my opponents, I haven't changed... well... at least I haven't attitude wise. I'm still the ass kicking pink haired daughter of a bitch that you all love and everyone else fears, but there have been a lot of changes in my personal life and in my outlook on my career here in the XWF,"

"But none of you give a fuck, you just want to know how I feel about my inclusion in the Anarchy Scramble for the Anarchy Championship,"

"First of all, Anarchy? When did this happen? Not that it really matters, the X-bux, not Ex-bucks Oswald, are more than worth it. Besides, this new brand allows me to do what I love to do, hurt people, without getting wrapped in the chronicles of Vinnie Lane and the rape hungry midget that are unfolding on Warfare,"

"Second, I feel pretty damn good about my chances,"

"Let's start with Shade. Shade... what are you doing here man? Ever since you first stepped into the XWF with your "edgy" persona and love of guns that rivals that of an NRA nut, you've been nothing but a joke."

"I mean, I'll give you some credit, your grammar has improved considerably since your debut. You've gotten out of "Meme Machine" territory and are now in the "five year old" grammar department, but that doesn't change the fact that you're the definition of "trying too hard". Let's see how much of a try-hard you are."

"Do you have a name that tries to be mysterious and bad ass but only ends up sounding lame? check,"

"Do you have a hard on for guns? Check."

"Do you wear attire that looks impractical instead of awesome and probably hides the fact you don't look that good without it? Another check."

"Do you have a scantly clad trophy girlfriend to compensate for the fact you're just style over substance? Check."

"And finally, are you not able to back up the shit you spew out of your mouth when it actually matters? Check city bitch."

"In the end, you're reaching Shadow the Hedgehog levels of try-hard. In fact... you and him have a lot of similarities! Use of guns, names based on darkness, connections with dark forces, attempts to be edgy... this is actually kind of disturbing!"

"Shade, what lies behind the mask? Because I have a feeling whatever lurks behind there might look an awful lot like this."

[Image: latest?cb=20090802231620]

"Continue being Ghost Tank's bitch and stay out of my way, because you have no chance of winning this."

"Anyway, let's move on to my next opponent, Jakob Davis,"

"Jakob, I'll admit, I don't know much about you, but from what I've seen, I think I have you figured out."

"One, you're talented, no doubt."

"Two, you're a father's boy. The only reason you're even in the XWF is because your alcoholic and senile old man wants to live out his dream of being an XWF superstar vicariously through you, and you're too much of a pushover to say no to him."

"Oh wait, pushover is too nice of a word for you, you're a BITCH."

"And third, you don't have the heart for this business. You'd rather be a cog in the machine, a person in the background, and that would be fine, if you were anywhere else but the XWF."

"In the XWF, hell, in wrestling, if you don't go in believing you're the best at what you do, you don't deserve to be here. You don't see greats like Louis D'Ville, Steve Jason, Thomas Madison, Sid Feder, hell, even Vinnie Lane get where they are now believing they are "average". You either got guts or they get ripped out of you, and I suggest you start saying goodbye to your internal organs before we meet tomorrow."

"Tim, I hope you can find some way to comfort your wife when your kid dies in this place, because when you send someone like him against someone like me, bad things happen."

"Now we move on to the real contenders. Tommy Wish, you were one of the first people I met when I first joined this company. In fact, your obvious lust for my feet aside, I considered you a friend,"

"But now, however, things are different. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to be successful and maybe make some money along the way, and if that means hurting and humiliating you, then by all means I'll do it. The main thing I want to talk about, though, is your comments about me and Reeve."

"They're bullshit,"

"I did not get in this match because Reeve has "a thing" for me. I'm in this match because I'm one of the biggest stars in the XWF today and one of the best in that squared circle! He's not my boy, and if he has a thing for me that's his business. Besides, even if he did just put me in this match because he thinks I'm hot, it doesn't matter. You know why?"

"Because I'll still kick your teeth in,"

"I heard of your "dilemma" of having two step sisters fighting over you, although I'm not sure why anyone would want to bang you of all people, and I have a solution! I'm going to tear you apart on Thursday, and on the next day, I'll send one part of you to one step sister and one to the other. Problem solved, as long as they don't mind necrophilia, which they won't considering they're most likely thirsty and desperate as hell."

"I mean, what other reason would anyone be fighting over your sorry ass?"

"Finally, we have the champ himself, the Anarchy Champion, holder of all the "Ex-Bucks", Ghost Tank."

"I've been looking forward to this moment Oswald."

"You see, there is no question that you are one of the best in the XWF right now. You are a sick SOB, a man whose not afraid to do anything to his opponents, or even himself, to come out on top. You've faced the best and have often come out on top, or at the very least given them scars they will never forget. Hell, you even have Shade running around like your bitch! You more than deserve to hold that Anarchy Championship."

"Here's the thing GT, deserving a title is one thing, what really matters is if you obtain and how long you keep it. You won that Anarchy Championship decisively, destroying everyone who stood in your path. Not even the very man who runs the place, Reeve, could stop you."

"Your reign, however, will not last much longer,"

"Let's face it, everyone else in this match isn't a threat, non-factors the lot of them, it's going to come down between you and me. I don't expect an easy fight, I expect to be absolutely pushed to the limit, beaten, and bloodied. However, I don't expect to lose. Oswald, you may be sick, you may be demented, you may be dangerous, but so am I. I am willing to go above and beyond what it takes to make sure I come out on top! I will give you the absolute best of Alexis Riot, and when the dust settles, when the carnage is over, when the ring crew loads the last body onto a stretcher, the Anarchy Championship will be held in my forever damaged hands."

"Prepare for the second coming,"

PRAY

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