Wednesday Night Warfare- 25th of May 2016

Union members Scully, Chris Macbeth and Felix Braddock are sat around a table playing a game of Blackjack otherwise known as twenty-one against each other. Chips sat in the middle of the table. They didn't need a dealer to play against, just some friendly banter over a game of cards. Scully was in good spirits as the three men chilled in their locker room. Skull had recently spoken to the doctor and got some good news, he had the all clear to wrestle on tonight's addition of Warfare. After Ted & Dave had stupidly put Scully in the hospital bed with concussion after accidentally knocking him down the cellar stairs and dropping the barrel on his head, Scully is now feeling good. It was Macbeths turn to deal as Chris shuffled the cards, Scully had a question for Felix.

"Felix, I just want to say I appreciate you were willing to step in for me tonight. So thank you for that. Are you sure you're cool with me competing instead?"

Felix Braddock "You are very welcome, indeed. Don't sweat it. I was looking forward to competing as well but I'll definitely be with you guys at ringside."

Chris Macbeth "All I know lads is whoever teams up in the Union is going to kick ass and retain the gold."

All three lads turn around and look at the XWF Tag-team championships hanging next to Chris Macbeths XWF Hart title. The cards have been dealt as all three men look at the hand in front of them.

Felix Braddock "Can I have another card please?"

Chris passes Felix another card. All of sudden the locker room door bursts open, Ted enters with a tray full of mugs as he places them on the table where The Union were playing cards. The chips go every where. Dave follows with four packets of biscuits, cookies, caramel digestives, hobnobs and custard creams. He also puts them on the table.

Ted:"Beth-rages."

"Who's Beth?"

Chris Macbeth: "You mean beverages?"

Dave:"Yeah Ted, dumbo!"

Felix Braddock:"You ruined our game."

"Nothing new, Ted & Dave ruin everything! Nah you're alright, really."

Ted smiles at Scully, he then looks at two mugs which have the same design, he seems confused. He grabs a specific mug of tea and passes to Dave.

Ted:"That's yours Dave."

Dave:"Thanks"

Ted watches worryingly as Scully picks up the other same designed mug as Dave. Scully adds two sugars and some milk. Ted picks up the cards to take his mind off things, what was Ted up to? And why was he acting so strangely?

Scully drinks his tea as Ted nervously looks up, he was currently picking the cards up off the floor.

"So lads not long until we get to destroy the Resistance."

Felix Braddock: "Gilmour and Makaveli deserve all they get. I can't believe Gilmour pictured you in that way, Chris."

Chris Macbeth: "I can't believe it either, the sick freak."

"To be fair he does ask men to suck his nob!"

Dave: "You mean door nob? I'm confused."

Felix Braddock: "Don't worry Dave."

Felix, Scully and Chris laugh at Daves comment. Ted seems nervous.

Ted:"Dave... Is your tea nice?

Dave:"Yeah Ted. Yours?"

Ted:"Yeah beautiful."

"I think it's time to get ready."

Scully suddenly holds his stomach, his cheeks go rosey red.

"Are you alright Scully?"

Felix Braddock: "You don't look so good."

Scully quickly gets up from the chair, kicking it back in the process. He runs into the toilet, the door is slammed shut. Chris and Felix look at each other, they're concerned for there fellow team mate. Loud farting noises echo from inside. Chris and Felix look grossed out. Ted gulps and realises what he's done.

Ted:"Guys, I'm just gonna go and get some crisps, any of you guys want anything?"

Chris and Felix both shake their heads.

Dave:"I'll come with you."

Ted and Dave leave the locker room, they make their way towards the vendoo machines down the corridor.

Dave:"I hope Scullys okay, it sounded bad."

Ted:"Dave...."

Both men stop in the middle of the corridor.

Ted:"It was meant for you."

Dave:"What's was?"

Ted:"I put laxa.. ti.. whatever they're called in the tea. It was meant for you."

Dave:"No way. You mean the stuff that makes you shit?"

Ted:"Yeah... What do we do?"

Dave:"Just keep quiet. Scully will kill you, remember what we did to him already?"

Ted nods as they both walk to the vendoo machine. Dave inserts a coin and chooses ready salted. He inserts another and Ted points to salt & vinegar. Dave gets the crisps from the machine. They both start to eat their crisps. After a few minutes of hanging around by the vendoo machine, Chris and Felix make their way towards them with the tag titles around their waists. They stop in front of Ted & Dave.

Dave:"Where's Scully?"

Felix Braddock: "He can't compete, he's not feeling too good."

Chris Macbeth: "Felix is stepping in. We better go, wish us luck."

Dave:"Good luck."

Chris taps Dave on the back, both he and Felix get ready to defend the XWF Tag-team championships. Ted stares into space, knowing he cost Scully the chance to be in the match.

We now know how that tag-team match ended.

---

"What's up bitches?! I am happy to be back and it's business as usual. Okay so it has only been a few short weeks since I've been in the ring, in fact I haven't really been involved at all. Not since I watched Marvellous Keith get pinned by Tony Santos to cost me that triple threat match. Tony Santos the guy who put that disgusting cigarette in my mouth to cause me to vomit like a scene out of the Exorcist. Tony Santos your time will come, you embarrassed me, you made Scully look like a total prick. Well guess what, Fat Tony? I don't forget and I will get my revenge. Moving on...

Sometimes life can be good, sometimes you get opportunities that you just gotta take and sometimes life can be so shitty? Why? That's fuckin' life. Last Wednesday I was supposed to team with my partner and friend, Chris Macbeth to defend our tag-team championships against the Resistance. I didn't get to face them and I didn't get to defend the tag titles that I played my part to win in the first place. Nah...

When you have two idiots in your stable then sometimes things don't go to plan, sometimes it's not that smooth and it can bite you in the ass! Or in this case push you down the stairs, drop a barrel full of alcohol on your head and put you in a fuckin' hospital. Do I like hospital food? No it tastes like shit. Ted and Dave did that to me and accidents happen, ask their parents!
Okay maybe I'm being a little harsh, maybe I didn't mean that. They're nice guys, they are both funny but they're just a bit clumsy and sometimes they don't think before they act. I ended up having to sit out and listen to that vagina Peter Gilmour insult me. That's Petey for you, slagging someone off that can't defend themselves cuz they ain't there in the first place. What a macho thing to do?! It made you look so tough and prove to everyone what a hairy muff you really are. Peter, you will get yours and no I don't mean what you want, we all know how you love men to suck your Dick but you won't be getting that from me. My lips will not be going round your pecker, my fist though, will be breaking your jaw. The Union will get their tag titles back, mark my words.

The Resistance won the tag titles. Felix and Chris were robbed. Did I enjoy watching my team lose the tag titles thanks to that freak on a leash, Unknown Soldier? No.. It sucked. The decks were truly stacked against us and once again the system screwed The Union. Can't have the Brits wearing the gold, the XWF even want Chris to somehow fail against that walking, steaming, pile of diarahea.. Ghost Wank. That won't be happening, no way. Chris will reign supreme. The XWF management let that piece of turd steal the Hart Championship and run away like the T-leaf he is. Well GT, Mr. Macbeth is going to destroy ya big, fat football head for that. Hey fuckin' Arnold!

I have plans for myself on Wednesday Night Warfare, I will enter the gauntlet. Yep, you heard it right here, just like Vinnie Lane revealed. I'm going all in like I'm shoving my hand up a wet fanny. The gloves are off, no lube needed, Scully is entering the gauntlet to win it. I don't care who's in it, whether they aren't that talented like Ghost Wank or Fontanna, whether they hold a title like Makaveli.. It don't matter, I'm entering this shit to become the number one contender for the XWF Universal Championship.

I will be there in the triple threat match and I will be winning it to confirm myself as the new number one contender for the XWF Universal Championship. I have been here a while and I have never had a shot at the main prize. Maybe it's cuz I'm a Brit so they have been holding me back, but nothing will hold me back anymore. If you want something then you gotta go out there and get that fuckin' thing. I'm not in the XWF to fill an event, I'm not here to make the numbers up on the roster, no I'm here to be the best. I will win the triple threat and then I will face the best.

Loverboy Vinnie Lane has never and The Skull means never ever, my names not Trevor.... Beat me in any match. Yep, how many people has the cockstar defeated? How many names has he beaten? Too many. He has laid waste to plenty of challengers but he has never beaten The Scully meister. I've beaten him, yep at Wargames, although I never actually pinned him or pulled his girly hair to make him tap, I still won. Yep, that's right. Me and Loverboy have never faced each other in a singles match but that is about to change, Scully is going to earn his shot and then he will get his match against Vinnie Lane for the XWF Universal Championship.

The first man to enter the fray and stand in my way in the gauntlet is a legend if you will, a former XWF Universal Champion himself who has also held plenty of other gold in the XWF. That man is Elizabeth James, more of a wo-man. Let me just refresh your memory seeing as you're probably plagued with alzheimers, I also beat you too. Yep... Wargames 2.0 I whooped your fat ass and again I was on the winning team. My second Wargames pay-per-view and a second victory. Does not tell you all something? Always the underdog, always the dark horse, always the guy who doesn't get his "props". Well fuck the haters, fuck the Stevie Wonders who can't see the talent in front of them. Britain's got talent and Scully is talent!

Lizzy wants to talk about ghosts, you are a 'ghost' from the past right? I'm afraid I have bad news, I'm not afraid of ghosts. Just like the ghostbusters, I will happily dispose of you. I don't believe in ghosts, I don't believe in you. Once someone is no longer relevant that's how they should stay, in the past and I'm going to make sure you get that message. You see Lizzy all these little comebacks that you are doing are just plain embarrassing, just stop it already. You had your moments, you had your times to shine but now it's mine. Too many times I haven't pushed myself hard enough to jump that final hurdle but now I have an opportunity. When an opportunity arises you take it and that's what I am going to do.

We have a newbie who's name I can't even pronounce.. Jebi? Jebid? Whatever it is, who gives a fuck?! Let's just call him by his surname, James. James your name isn't important, your background i couldn't give two fucks, your stupid face doesn't bother me, you being in the gauntlet however, does concern me. Just before you cream in your pants, I don't mean concerns me because I see potential, that I see you as a threat or something. No? Because I don't. The only thing that concerns me is your health and wellbeing, another newbie who lasted as long as Peter Gilmour does when he's being sucked off by Makaveli. It's just a shame that's all, that I have to be the one who ends your career before it even began. I'm glad you're all awake though, I really am, too bad I have to put you to sleep with an uppercut and a Scullanator just for good measure. Props for showing up.

Oh and we've got Tommy Wish... Oh haven't I battered you like a fish before?! I guess that is all, for now.

The Union is still on strike and Scully is going to become the NEW number one contender for the XWF Universal Championship. Spoiler fuckin' alert. Da end, Scully has spoken."