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Here we are in a small room. XWF'S resident stoners are sat comfortably on a black leather sofa, together. They both have sheets of paper on clipboards. Ted looks at it and shrugs. He throws the clipboard over his shoulder and the sheets of paper go everywhere. Dave raises his eyebrows at Ted, takes out a bag of weed. He puts some on the paper, gets out a large rizla and places that down too. Ted gives Dave the thumbs up and passes him some Amber Leaf tobacco. Dave proceeds to put some tobacco into the rizla. Ted then passes Dave a grinder, Dave grinds the weed, as he twists and twists. He crumbles the weed into the rizla with the baccy, roles it to perfection and then licks the rizla. Ted then passes Dave his clipper lighter and lights the joint. Dave puts it in his mouth and inhails the spliff, a sigh of relief is then released from Dave. He then passes the spliff to Ted as he blows the smoke out, Ted also intakes some and makes hoop shapes with the smoke. They both look into the camera and begin.

Ted: "Hi XWF Galaxy, I am Ted."

Dave: "I am Dave."

Ted & Dave:"Together we are Ted and Dave."

Dave: "Embrace yourselves for the greatest interview ever."

Ted: "Our guests this evening are the next XWF Tag-Team champions of the world, Our man Chris Macbeth and his partner, Scully. Together they are The Union."

The camera pans out to reveal Union members

Dave: "How are you funky dude crackin."

Scully looks to Chris who rolls his eyes.

"Why the fuck do they talk like that?"

Chris: "That's Ted and Dave."

Scully shrugs.

"Ted, Dave before this interview goes any further, me and Chris have something amazing to ask you. Tell em Chris."

Chris "Ted, Dave we have been boys for a long time...
The a union has spoken and we would like to offer you the position as our exclusive interviewers?"

Ted and Dave look at each other and there eyes light up.

Ted: "Fuck yeah brother."

Dave: "Yeah fuck that Steve Sayor's bitch, we're your top boys."

Ted: "Do we get a hoodie like them youths do on your X-Tron video?"

Chris looks to Scully...

"Yeah why the fuck not?! Here you go lads..."

Scully goes into a bag next to him on the floor. He looks at both Ted and Dave to see what sizes they are. He throws Ted a large, red hoodie and Dave a medium, red hoodie, both with The Union logo on them.
Ted and Dave stare at the hoodies for a second before turning to each other and busting out what they called the "ultimate high five."

Chris: "I'm glad you like them. So are you ready to get started?"

"I thought they were interviewing us?"

Scully and Chris laugh.

Ted "We're getting there."

Dave "So Scully and Chris. Travis McCoy has revealed who his suprise tag-team partner is. Mr.."

"McMahon? Or is it Mr. Kennedy? Or Anderson, whatever?"

Chris: "Mr. Fuji?

Dave: "Mr. H."

"Who the fuck is that? You mean Triple H?

Dave and Ted look confused.

Ted: "Who?"

Dave: "Triple H?"

Ted & Dave:"Who the fuck is that?"

Chris turns to Scully.

Chris: "This is going to be a long interview."

"That's for sure!"

Chris: "How about we help you out seeing as it's your first time...."

Ted: "Wait!! This ain't my first time. Sarah Palmer behind the bike shed was my first time."

Chris: "Doing an interview Ted, but Sarah Palmer, Really?"

Ted: "Yeah, dirty bitch she was as well."

"Who's Sarah Palmer? Was she hot?"

Chris and Dave grin as Ted begins to look a little uneasy.

Chris: "A rare breed that is all I'll say."

Dave: "She was just some Slut!"

Ted: "Hey don't talk about Sarah like that!"

Dave: "Someone still loves her?!"

Ted: "No, I don't!"

Scully, Macbeth and Dave start laughing at Ted.

"Ask some questions Ted and Dave."

Dave: "Does Natalie have big tits?"

"You must have seen her before, she does but shouldn't you be asking us questions about the match?"

Ted: "The football match? Did you see Leceister City won again, still top of the table."

Dave: "Can't believe Arsenal fucked it up!"

"I can't say anything."

Chris "AstonVilla..."

"Ssssssshh man. They're embarrassing at the moment. Ask us questions about our wrestling match."

Ted and Dave burst out laughing at Scully, who turns his head away. Chris also finds it funny.

Dave: "Relegation!"

"Please can we have a question about our match?"

Ted: "We did ask you. We asked you about Mr. H then you two started talking about Triple H."

Dave: "Yeah whoever he is?!"

Ted: "Not this again."

Dave: "So Mr. H is the suprise partner of Travis McCoy. We will now watch the promo of Mr. H."

Ted rolls the footage of Mr. H. H says alot of crap, Ted and Dave pass the spliff back and fourth, yawning at what they were watching. After several minutes have gone by, Ted and Dave are both asleep. Dave has his head on Teds shoulder and the spliff is between Teds fingers, slowly slipping. Chris notices this.

Chris: "Shit lads, that is sacrilege.

Chris grabs the spliff and has toke then offers it to Scully.
Skull looks at the joint, it had been some years since he had smoked the stuff. He was tempted.

"I'm gonna have to say no, Chris. I don't want no shit on my lungs.... Ahhhhhhhhhhhh fuck it, one drag won't hurt."

Scully reluctantly has a puff of the spliff and passes it back to Chris. Scully grabs a piece of paper off the floor, scrunches it up into a ball, Chris looks at him as he throws it. Boom, right on Teds big head. Skull and Chris chuckle as Ted stirs but goes back to dreamland. Chris then grabs a piece of paper, rolls it up into a ball and bang, straight off Daves nose. Daves eyes open as he gives a thumbs up before closing his eyes again. Scully then looks at Chris.

"Let's just do this, man. Let em sleep."

Chris: "Yeah okay. Let's talk about Mr. H."

"A, B, C, D, E, F, G,
Mr. H has HIV."

Chris chuckles.

"The XWF Galaxy awaiting for an XWF legend or someone who is known in someway. We told you the revealing of Mr. H would be a big, fat dissapointment. No one worth 10 pence, not cents. Yeah Mr. Homo, the tag-team partner of Travis "Fake" McCoy, this match just got a lot easier for The Union. Mr. H comes after G, but not before I. I, Scully can't wait to slap the shit outta your alphabet spaghetti. Mr. H you rambled on, you caused our two interviewer's, Ted and Dave to fall asleep, you boring, pathetic fuck. How dare you? How dare you cause our two stoners to fall asleep?! Now we can't wake them the fuck up!"

Chris: "Oh shit Mr H you better get Travis to run some cold water over that because you just got burned."

"He needs savlon."

Chris: "He needs the fire brigade."

Scully and Chris chuckle.

Chris: "You know i watched my tag team partner Scully tear Travis McCoy a new ass hole with what can only be described as a...

1 - legendary

and

2 - Insightful story into the history of one of the many moronic excuses for competitors they we will be facing on Warfare."

Why thank you Chris. As we all seen Travis came back with lies, he is in denial and can't accept the fact the relatives of Scully made his great grandfather sail away like a big, fuckin' pussy. Instead of fighting back like people with pride and dignity do, he jumped in a boat and fucked off. He didn't want none of the Scully's and neither should you Travis, you really don't want to embarrass yourself and your family name again. Oh wait, your daddy and grandaddy did that all by themselves. The whole time you spoke in your pathetic promo, you admitted you were chatting shit, so what was the point of wasting everyone's time?"

Chris: "Oh shit I see my names been mentioned by that twat Trax, what was it he said oh yeah that's it, Scottish Born Chris Macbeth... Get your facts straight you tool, don't let the surname confuse you, I'm English not Scottish as Travis McCoy jabbered about I was actually named after a shoe. Hahaha."

"Trax is ripping off other people's songs and changing the lyrics slightly because he's running out of material, running out of time. I hope Stormzy sues you, bitch. That's copyright theft right there. Tush is going to kick your lilly ass so bad and successfully defend his XWF Intercontinental Championship. On Warfare Trax, you're going to be left hangin' again.

It appears that The Union has everyone's attention, everyone wants a piece of us, everyone wants to shut us up."

Chris: "Not only do we have the tag chumps and our other competitors in the tag match reeling and all panicky, throwing out the promos with stinging venom in the hope of throwing us off our game, we also have irrelevant arseholes who are nothing to do with us talking and bitching about us... Yes I'm talking to you Makavli and McVeigh, these two twerps don't even have the honour of trying to face off against The Union but they still feel the need to talk about shit."

"We have 2pac, risen from his death with those bullets still intact. Makaveli in this... Killuminati, all through your body, the blow's like a twelve gauge shotty. Makka Pakka has been trying to scare The Union with fulse threats and promises, I have a suggestion for you, concentrate on your own fuckin' match you skinny, aid ridden, Cunt!
The same goes to Fontanna's long, lost twin sister, Ophelia McVeigh, you do the same, concentrate on your own match so you can be destroyed once again. You'll all get your turn so be patient, there is beating ordered for all of you."

Chris: "I will tell you something now you cunts, turn around and walk away because this isn't your battle and you just ain't that damn importan....

Hang on, who the fuck was I just talking about again?

Fuck it who cares!"

"Fern and Luca, you whinge about The Union calling you guys queers, Fernus being called a butt Slut, well he's either a bum bandit or a virgin because normal, straight up people don't put shit in their promo's like it's cool. Fuckin' gayboys."

"I wonder if Luca uses the tag belt to spank his partner before taking a trip up the isle of Fernando?"

"I think they do."

Chris gags as a little bit of sick shoots up his throat and into his mouth. He quickly swallows it back down much like Fern swallows Luca's juice. Scully looks at Chris.

"Sick Cunts!"

Chris: "We're going to need to get them belts changed or at least cleaned, the dirty bastards!"

"What we gonna do? Fernus and Lukas have said mean things about us."

Chris: "Oh fuck, Ferngotti has spoken. Now I'm fuck shaking in my boots, NOT! now they have got me nervous for the match, have I bitten off more than I chew with this one? Well you two buggerd by a bigger boy bitches that was a rhetorical question so me need to answer, no need to search through my promo's with a fine tooth Combe to see if I have left you any slight glimmer of hope that I may not be up for this fucking match.

You can tell myself and Scully have gotten under your skin though girls, I mean fuck within one week of the formation of The Union we are all people can talk about, You two Tom Cruise in Born on the Forth of July Fuck-Tards haven't been this relevant in your entire history as Tag Team Champs

Fern and Luca, the soon to be former Tag Team Champs. What is it like to finally feel the wheels begin to fall off, you have realised this is the end of this limp wrist-ed like grip you have had on the X-Treme Wrestling Federation's title devision. Take my strong hand child!!

"Luca your opinion on my rapping skills is exactly that bitch, an opinion. You say I have no flow, that my lyrics are lame? I'm not gonna cry about it, I couldn't give a shit. I wrote the lyrics for The Unions theme song because unlike you, we have own fuckin' brains to use our own fuckin' song. I have plenty of feedback and guess what? Most people like it, some don't, I guess I'm like marmite but who the fuck gives a damn? Not like I'm running around calling myself Slim Scully is it?!

Hey look at Luca trying to be all clever, wanting a back and forth about the fact the tag chumps can't post child crap in their promo's. We're thankful to management for putting this stipulation in and you guys might be bitching about it, but The Union, we just don't give a fuck. Shove em up your arseholes!"

Chris: "Luca you may think you had brought me to my highest peak in my entire career before my time away but fuck son, I know The Union are about to knock you down to the lowest of yours, lower than you go when your fucking with your Fun Boy Fernando. The little mountain you have put yourself on is crumbling bitch, try to keep your balance as the ground shifts and slides down the steep slope until you reach your new home of The Unions bitch.

Joining you will be your partner Fern, even more than you this Tard has spoken, mainly spoken crap but none the less he has spoken and well... What can I say...

What a fucking liability!!

Fern you just talked a fuck load of crap, all you can talk about is the past, why you think each of the Union members have failed in the past, Our Hart Title shots and attempts to take the x-treme title off of you, well, fucking well done fuck face, you got me... But you see Gilly and myself put on one hell of a show in the match that has gotten him his shot and the Loverboy, this was because we are both competitors who are on the up, you however are just like your partner, sliding down that slippery slope to former has been non-existents. The Unions future is bright, yours is black and blue after the beating you will both get at the hands of Scully and myself."

"Austin, I came close to defeating you before, this time as a team, Scully and Chris Macbeth will get the job done and send you packing back to Australia, you didgeridoo, cock blowing, kangaroo humping vagina.
I was forced to listen to your shitty, crappy Promo's and I'll never get those minutes back again, you waste of sperm. Fernus, you repeated what I said previously regarding the fact I've only had two Xtreme Championship title shots, you repeated it which means I already know, Dumb dumb. You don't have to tell me what I've done and didn't do, cuz I already fuckin' know. Chris knows too. We don't need reminding. You'll know after Warfare is through that you no longer are the tag-team champions though, how's that?!
Are you on your man period, Fernando? I mean crying that Frodo pinned you? Just accept it, move on, shove your excuses up your vagina. It's done, you lost, be a man, take responsibility. Now fuck off, you slag!"

Chris:" Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert!"

"After Warfare is done, The Union are going to be swimming in gold. Scully and Chris Macbeth, the new XWF tag-team champions. Tush retains the Intercontinental Championship. You heard it here first.

Oh before we go, I'd like to publicly thank Tush and Chris Macbeth for getting me out of that shit hole jail. Alfie Halliday this match is dedicated to you, thank you!"

"Chris "Rest in peace, Halliday. The Union is for you!"

Ted and Dave still snoring in the background as the scene fades...