Johnny and I are at the Zoo; after last night’s fiasco with the water, he thought this might cheer me up. We’ve been walking around for a while, my feet are hurting, and I’m hungry. We stop at the café in the Zoo, and decide to order some food. The waiter waddles over, and he is so adorable. He reminds me of someone, but I can’t place it.

Hi, my name is Bob. Can I get you anything to drink?

I’ll have a glass of sparkling water!

I’ll take a Coke. I’m also ready to order, if you are Ginge.

I nod.

Ok, what can I get you guys to eat then?

Could I get two Corndogs! With vinegar, please? And a plate of chips.

I’ll take a burger, mate.

Bob writes this down, and hurries to the back to place our order. I cock my head at Johnny. He always orders chips. Why didn’t he order chips? Oh, no. Is this about the test I took last night? Is he not eating because he thinks I’m pregnant?

Why didn’t you order chips?

I’m not hungry. Got too much on my mind.

He clears his throat. I fidget in my seat. Dad would always do that if he was going to ask something important.

Ginger, I saw the test in the toilet. Are you pregnant?

No. At least, I don’t think so. The test said I wasn’t. I didn’t think I was. I might have hoped a little. I just got worried, because Tiffany made a comment about us not always using condoms, and then said I gained a little weight. I love you, Johnny, but I can’t have a kid right now. I’m not financially ready to have one, and George still really needs me.

I was there. What were we doing when she made that comment?

I shift my eyes back and forth.

Watching old home films. I was really skinny when I was in Year 11.
He chuckles.

You’re still really skinny, love. I don’t think Tiff meant to seriously imply that you were pregnant, she did laugh it off. If you were pregnant, it’d be way too early to be showing.

I blush. I can feel my face turning as red as my hair. I didn’t even think of that. I’m probably not pregnant. And now, I just made Johnny think I hate babies. I need to fix this!

I DON’T HATE BABIES, YOU KNOW! I WOULDN’T MIND IF I HAD YOUR BABY IN ME!

I do not realise I just shouted this. The entire café turns to look at me as Bob brings our food over. He sets it down, and walks away quietly. His face is redder than mine is. I guess he had heard me. I begin to talk in a whisper.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like that, either.

Johnny chuckles at me as he takes a bite of his burger. I begin to stuff chips in my mouth to keep from saying anything else stupid. Johnny gets up from his seat, and walks over to kneel by me, and kisses me on the cheek. I’m a little confused, as I have a mouthful of potato and cannot possibly be cute right now. He looks around the café.

This is my girlfriend, Ginger, she’s incredibly gorgeous, and entirely nonsensical. She’s like the human form of a Dr. Seuss story. I wanted to let you all know that. Since she shared her baby idea with you all.

Bob is in the corner clapping, and wiping a tear from his eye, using a dirty dishrag he picked up out of the busboy’s bin. I choke my food down, and look at the café now. People are putting notes on the tables, and getting up to leave, and others are looking at Johnny and I like we’re the best thing ever. Johnny goes back to his seat, and continues to eat. I finish my chips, and pull my hair back into a ponytail to eat the corndogs I got. I dip it in the vinegar, and then hold it straight out in front of me, and lower my mouth over it, going as far as I can before taking a bite. I hear a few people’s cameras click as I do this, and even hear a few whistles. I am confused, after chewing my corndog and swallowing it, I whisper to Johnny.

Why were they taking pictures like that?
Johnny just shakes his head, and leans in close to me.

You really don’t know?

I shake my head.

You’re a young, attractive female, and you just ate the corndog like you were giving blowjobs. I thought you were doing it on purpose.

No, I don’t give blowjobs, I didn’t even think about it. I always eat my corndogs like that, ever since I was a kid. Eww gross. That’s why Fontanna posted the picture to the XWF site when he did. Oh, that is terrible.
I throw my corndog down, and start to walk away. Then I realise that I might have hurt the Corndog’s feelings, so I come back, apologise, finish eating it, and go pay my tab. Johnny his chasing after me while still eating his burger. He catches up to me, and tries to stop me from leaving the zoo in a huff. I turn away from him. I’m not happy.

Ginger, stop it. Come on. Let’s go look at the monkeys. You love the monkeys. We’ll check them out and enjoy the show. I bet the monkeys will do something adorable for you.

And then when I laugh someone will snap a picture of it, and say I was trying to have sex with the monkeys. Then, Fontanna will post it on the website, and then I’ll get a bunch of comments made about me like I’m a sex object. God, it’s bad enough I have to deal with Dim telling me to let me him do whatever sexual idea pops in his head, or Vinnie trying to convince his girlfriend to have a threesome with me, even though I don’t sleep with girls, or anyone I’m not dating. I get these kind of comments at work all the time, especially from creeps like Darren Dangerous, and Vinnie Lane, but now I can’t even eat a Corndog without some perverts taking a picture and whistling because they think it’s sexual? Urgh. I’m done. I don’t want to live here anymore. Johnny, we’re going to move.

Johnny drops his burger, and grabs me by the shoulder before turning me back to face him, and pulling me in for a hug. I begin to cry into his shoulder.

It’s ok, baby. I know you’re not just a sex icon. You’re a wonderfully talented, and amazing woman. You are one of a kind, and incredibly awe inspiring. Even when you lose your matches, I can’t believe how great you perform. You’re taking on guys so much bigger than you are, and you’re able to keep going back. You are without a doubt, the toughest woman I know. Men are assholes, and they’re going to keep trying to make you feel like less than they are by judging you only for your looks, and they’re doing this because you frighten them. Here you are, this drop dead gorgeous woman, and you’re out there dominating the field of Pro-Wrestling. You’ve been a champion, you should have won the other championship match you were in, and then you’re getting to fight for the highest title in the federation you’re in. All within 3 months of being back. And why? Because you’re amazing. When you go out there and win, you don’t do it because you have an cute butt, which you do, you don’t do it because you wrinkle up your nose when you yawn, and it makes me love you so hard I think my heart my burst, which you do. You win because you’re just that good. But, we need to talk about something besides your work, Ginger.

I feel so good in his arms right now. I feel so protected, and so safe. I can almost ignore the breeze that’s started to blow through the air. Johnny’s words fall on me like a warm blanket. I wipe my eyes on his sleeve, and start to pull away from him in happiness. Until I feel the breeze blowing at my skirt. Then, I just whisper into his ear.

Johnny, I need you to hug me, and put your arms around me bum. I don’t want the breeze to blow my skirt up, and some pervert post the picture for people to wank to.

Johnny does what I asked him to, while making sure I still feel safe in his arms. My bum is warm, and then I feel Johnny squish it. I need to get my skirts weighted at the hems. The breeze goes by, and Johnny releases me. I look up at his eyes, and he’s got this glisten in them.

Did you really mean what you said about us moving?

I bite my lip and nod.

Yup. Let’s go to Glasgow, or something. Ooh, I heard there’s a part of the United States that has a lot of Scots. We can live there. Or, move back to England. I bet we can find a nice place out by Leeds or something.

Or, we can get further away. What if we moved to another continent? What about Africa?

I lift my arm up in an exaggerated motion, and scratch my head, with my arm forming a nearly perfect zero. I stick my bottom lip out, and bring my other finger up to my chin and tickle it.

Africa? Aren’t there wild animals that eat people there?

I drop my arms and pull my lip back in.

Only if you’re not safe. We’ll be safe, Ginger. What do you think? For real.

A lightbulb goes off. I figured it out.

Todd!

What? The cameraman you through your crotch at?

While, I didn’t throw my crotch at him. I did the Bronco Buster to him, and he seemed to like it. I don’t get that, but yes. Him. He’s who the waiter reminded me of.

Johnny steps back, and looks angrily at me.

I can’t fucking believe it. I’m trying to talk to you about something serious, and you focus up on Todd of all people? You talked about how you think he’s cute, and fancy him, then you throw your crotch in his goddamn face! And then you bring him up while we’re on a date. Jesus, Ginger. I feel like you don’t even want to be here with me. Do you? Do you really want to be with me, and want to give up everything to be with me?

I look at him, the glisten is gone. I see something I’ve never seen in his eyes before. Hurt.

Yes, Johnny. I do. I love you more than Dim loves Trax, more than Vinnie loves to cry about everything, and more than a thousand suns love burning people’s eyeballs. Johnny, you are the one person I want to spend my entire life with. When I feel like George is ok to be on his own, you, me and King Henry, we’re going to start a family. Just the two of us, and our Llama.

No more Bronco Buster, ok, babe?

What is exactly wrong with the Bronco Buster?

It's an incredibly sexual move, you use your crotch to assault someone's face. I just don't like it.

I kick the ground in front of me. I had seen XPac do this a buhzillion times before, and it was never sexual when he did it. I didn't get Johnny's complaints, but I guess maybe some people took it as sexual, like me eating corndogs.

All right, I'll quit them. But, can we just go home? I'm not having fun anymore.

We leave the zoo, and hail a cab to head back home. I browse the XWF site for a minute, before getting upset at all the nasty comments made on there. Why can't people just try and be nicer for one minute? It's not that hard.

We get home, and I go to my room to record a quick promo for Vincent.

Wow, Vincent starts off by missing where I'm not pregnant, because he doesn't pay attention, and then he goes on to act like he's not made several passes at me, only for me to reject him every time. Of course me flat out saying before that I wouldn't sleep with him isn't enough to deter him from trying to make it sound like he thinks he's too good for me.

(08-15-2015, 06:30 PM)LoverboyVinnieLane Said: Roxy hasn't been around lately, dude. Tell you what, Ginger... maybe after I knock you back down the totem pole a few notches in my first awesome defense of the CCWF Championship, you, me, Abby, Roxy if she ever answers her damn phone, and the vivacious Goddess here can have us a kickass CCWF Rainbow Party. What's your color, chica?

Of course, this was after you accused me of being transsexual. Which makes me wonder, do you want me in a "rainbow party", or do you think I'm trans? Or, is it both? Vincent, I know everyone thinks I'm kind of naive and scatterbrained, but you make me feel really smart. And brave, you make me feel brave, especially when you beg for other people to fight for you. It's looking like I know the answer to my question. It seems like you're being forced into this match. And then we go right back into you talking about having sex with me again. Because telling Shane you wouldn't sleep with me and then talking about it, after I've repeatedly told you that I don't find you attractive at all isn't obvious.

I am glad you noticed that I bought the case, since I did discuss it on air, when I got the loan. Good thing you're planning on defending so well, like you did last time we met in the ring. Your obsession with my lady business, and who I sleep with is astounding, despite you claiming that I'm a "knock-kneed little middle school boy with ass-breath.", yeah? Do you think about young boys having sex a lot, Vinnie? That seems to be your favourite subject when discussing me. Not whether or not you need to hire people to fight for you, and pay officials to make sure you don't get hurt.

<3 Gator <3