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Gator · (07-26-2015)

Sooooo you're probably asking yourself where I've been? Or maybe not. Maybe you're asking why I'm doing my own narration? Or maybe not. I dunno, I'm not a mind reader or anything. To people who know me, hey, it's nice to be back. To the new guys who don't know me, hey I'm Gator. The dude in the red suit who pops up on occasion at the top of the XWF website, the greatest Television Champion in XWF history, the first man to beat the unstoppable Doctor Louis D'Ville and he will not get over it, trust me. Dude still holds a grudge about that. Anyway, after I lost a rematch for the Universal championship against D'Ville thanks to Sebastian Duke, I went into a match to defend the Tag Team Championship belts with my good friend Justin Sane. I wasn't really focused, kind of lazy of me I know, but yeah... I just didn't give the effort I usually give. I was distracted, I was an idiot, I was pissed off. And we lost that match too... Against Iceman and Scully..... Wow... That, that is a heavy fucking loss. I got thrown against the commentator's table, fucked my neck up and Sane got pinned. I went into hospital that night. Sane disappeared. My other Defiance comrades CorVus was arrested for some shit, Austin Fernando vanished too. The once mighty Defiance was gone and forgotten as we all went our separate ways.

Asylum stopped being the same too, so, I guess in a way we did our jobs. Maybe it was time for Defiance to end. Wish we had a better ending, but what we hope for in life never usually pans out the way we want it to.

This isn't meant to be a depressing story or anything bee tee dub. I'm not into all that shit, life is fun. Everyone should have fun, if we live boring and depressing lives then what is the point in living at all? Have fun, enjoy yourselves and be happy. Forget the bad shit and focus on the good.

... Anyway, back to what I was talking about. I went into hospital with a fucked up neck, can't remember the specifics honestly, it's all a little fuzzy. I do remember the doctor telling me I wouldn't be able to wrestle for a while. I responded the way you think I would.

"Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit!"

Then I threw a chair at him. I think I took the news well. After a few minutes, several orderlies restraining me and a dose of morphine, I cooled down. In my drugged up haze, the doctor who took the form of a unicorn floating on a cloud told me I should see a psychiatrist. I agreed, because who can say no to a unicorn?

No one, that's who.

So, I started seeing this woman by the name of Doctor Alison Cooper. Sweet girl, mid twenties, looked like Anna Kendrick if she was more of a hippie. I'm sitting down on the traditional therapist couch, red leather in this modern art filled room with huge ass windows. Smoke in between my fingers as Alison is scribbling on her clipboard, making quick glances at me to make sure I'm not breaking anything I guess. I'm pretty sure she's a little scared given my history with doctors. I try and make myself less threatening, well, as less threatening as a six foot four dude in a mask can make himself. She stops writing and gives me a smile, I smile back. Pretty sure she didn't notice.

"So, Mister Woods. Or do you prefer Jacob?"

"I prefer Gator, or Master of time and space. Whichever floats your boat."

"... I'll go with Gator."

"Everyone goes with Gator. I need to rethink my name choices in the future."

"Okay, since this is our first session I think we should take things slow. Get to know each other a little better, is that okay with you?"

I nod, taking another drag of my cigarette and flicking the head of ash into an empty coffee cup. Alison shakes her hand in front of her face to get the smoke away, it was nice of her to let me smoke. Then again if she said I couldn't smoke I would have anyway and I would have been more of an asshole about it.

"My name is Alison Cooper. Er, I am twenty-six years old. You are my fourth patient and my favorite color is blue."

"..."

"Now you go."

"Oh, cool. Gator. Twenty-three. You are my third therapist slash psychiatrist and my favourite colour is red."

"Well it's nice to meet you Gator, I hope we can become great friends."

I rise an eyebrow and look around the room.

"The fuck is this? Am I on some kind of hidden camera show? Why are you so nice? Are you trying to take my fucking blood!?"

"What!? No, no. Gator, I'm just trying to be pleasant."

"... Okay. Sorry. I'm not used to people I just met being nice. Like genuinely nice."

"And why do you think that is?"

She clicks the top of her pen and puts the pointy end against the paper attached to the clipboard. I take another drag of my cig and blow smoke into the air.

"It's just my work. Every person I meet either wants to kick my ass or has an ulterior motive, it's just been hardwired into my head that I need to defend myself... Holy shit you're good!"

She laughs while writing down her notes.

"I try. Do you ever feel like quitting? Maybe try a different career?"

"Nah, wrestling is all I know. When I was younger I wanted to be an artist or a teenage mutant ninja turtle. But I found out quickly that there are people better than me with the art stuff, and I never ran into some ooze that could turn me into a mutant turtle. Plus have you tried to find a rat that knows martial arts? It's fucking hard, trust me I've tried."

Alison looks at me like a crazy person. I think this is my problem, some people don't know when I'm joking. Maybe it's because I'm English, maybe my sense of humour is just so fucking dumb people just think I'm that fucking dumb. Reason why I always clarify that I'm joking or being sarcastic, just so people don't get confused.

"That was a joke by the way."

"Oh, haha, thank god. Wait, the artist path or the turtles?"

"The artist thing."

She looks at me for a second before the light bulb clicks and she realises that was another joke.

"Okay hahaha... How about you start to make art again, what were you good at?"

"I wouldn't call it art really.. I used to draw cartoons, like comic strips. Did it from when I was a kid to when I was in high school, stopped when I was around eighteen."

"Why did you stop?"

"I started wrestling in J-Pro. Didn't have time."

"J-Pro?"

"A wrestling fed in Japan, my family moved there when I was like twelve, thirteen?"

"That must have been exciting, a big move to a different country."

"Meh."

"...... Anyway. Maybe you could pick up art again, there's so many places on the internet where you could post your comics. Make some easy money and have fun doing it."

"That would be fun. But like I said, I'm a wrestler Alison. Even if I was in a wheelchair I'd still go to the ring every week."

"It's good to have that passion, but you need to think of others. I know you have a girlfriend, she was at the hospital with you. She was crying in the hall most of the night. Your other friends too, can you imagine how devastated they would all be if you got paralyzed one day?"

"I guess... Myself from the future told me I needed to calm down too."

"Was that another joke?"

"Pfft I wish. You have no idea how many fucked up things I have seen. I spent a day trapped in the wilderness of New Zealand talking to a fox this one time. Todd got kidnapped by Russians and I had to save him. I almost killed Ryan Reynolds."

I have lead a very eventful life. Alison goes on to talk about a whole bunch of other shit. Mainly about me, what I could do instead of wrestle, I'm pretty insistent that I'm not going to do anything else. Then she gets to a more entertaining part, Rorschach test. She pulls these cards from a bag at the side of her chair and adjusts her glasses before showing me each one.

"Okay, clear your mind and tell me what you see."

"Shoot."

"First one."

"Hysteria."

"Second one."

"A rib cage. A heart?"

"And third."

"... A devil."

"Last one."

"... Are we done yet? I think I'm starting to lose my mind here. Which is ironic considering you're supposed to help keep me sane."

The good doctor puts the cards back to the side, taking a look at the last one and shrugging a little. She writes as she talks to me, staring at the paper.

"Almost, just one more thing I need to know. How was your relationship with your parents?"

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"And here's me thinking you were different. Just, don't link everything to sex like some wannabe Freud. Me and my mum are cool, haven't seen her in a while but I try and keep in touch through email and phone. Me and my dad are on the opposite end of the spectrum, I try to avoid contact with him but it seems I see him more than my mum."

"You and your father have a bad relationship?"

"Yeah. Hahaha. Gotta love a guy who wears a mask and has daddy issues. This is how super-villains get their start."

"But you're not a super-villain, so I say you're doing pretty well for yourself."

"Hahaha... Yeah, I guess I am."

Cooper taps her pen against the paper. I'm looking down at the ash of my cigarette burn down to the filter and warm my fingertips, I toss the end into the empty cup and Alison makes a sharp breath as she puts her clipboard on the low table in front of us. I look up to see her smiling at me... I like narrating over myself, the whole first person thing, I'm a poetic mother fucker when I wanna be. You hear that part about the cigarette ash? Your famous author ain't got shit on me. Why didn't I do this when I started? I blame Todd.

"I think that will do for today."

"Cool."

I get to my feet and rub my sore neck. I should really wear that neck brace but I look like a total

with it on. Yes, very funny, the guy who dresses like a 'superhero' has a fashion conscience. Alison stands up and extends her hand, I reach out and we shake. I grab my jacket flung over this comfy ass couch and head towards the door. Alison speaks up before I reach it.

"I recommend trying out yoga by the way."

I stop, kinda dumbfounded, and turn to her slowly with a raised eyebrow. Again I don't think she can tell. Masks, although being dope as fuck, aren't that great at showing your expressions. Hey, check this out. Superawesomedudesayswhat?

"What?"

HA!

"Yoga. It could help you relieve a lot of stress, just try it. Please."

I sigh and roll my eyes.

"Fine. But only because I like you."

"Thanks Jacob."

"I don't like you that much. See you next week doc."

De ja vu. I turn the handle and walk out the door, slamming it shut behind me. Not in an angry way, I just forget my own strength sometimes. I put my jacket back on as I walk down the hall and exit through the glass doors at the end, aaahhhh smell that air. I cough. Boston was a good choice to live... A good choice, not the best but whatever. Go Celtics. This is still in April by the way if you're wondering why I'm wearing a jacket. I take the car keys out my pocket and toss them around in my hand as I walk over to the parking space. Scarlett and Todd wait at the side of the DeLorean, Scarlett smiles at me, those big blue eyes sparkling in the sun. She hops off the bonnet, or 'hood' if you're American, and opens her arms as we walk towards one another, she embraces me in a tight hug and I catch a whiff of her perfume. I feel like I could stay like this forever. I awkwardly angle my hand to my mask and lift it up to expose my lips. Scarlett stands on her tip toes as we kiss.

Then I feel bitch boy's arms wraps around us. That satisfied sigh of his really ruins the moment. We break up the group hug and I pat Todd on the shoulder as we enter the DeLorean, Todd squeezes himself in the back with Better Todd (My Bulldog), who starts to pant excitedly seeing me. He puts his fat head through the gap between the driver and passenger's seat and demands some attention from me. I oblige in a less than manly way. Satisfied, he sits back down next to Todd in the back. This feels so strange, I was only in there an hour. I've been home for a few days since the hospital, these three have seen me more than usual but they're acting like I've been away for a months... Maybe I have... Maybe when I was wrestling full time I never really focused on them, just myself, my opponent and the job. Now that I'm on 'forced vacation' I'm actually really with them for the first time since we all met.

Fuck I don't know. My head's all over the place, probably just overthinking stuff. I know they're worried about me, probably just showing their support. Making sure I remember what I have. I know I'm an asshole but I can't be that big of one that I ignore them when I'm working... Alright Gator, quit this soppy bullshit. Scarlett, Todd and Better Todd have been patiently waiting for you to start the damn car for what feels like half an hour. I turn the key in the ignition, put my foot on the accelerator and pull out of the parking space. Like how I pulled out of your momma last night!

"How'd it go babe?"

"Fine."

T: "So you crazy?"

I chuckle. Scarlett turns to Todd like she's going to slap the taste out of his mouth.

"Todd!"

T: "What? He knows I'm joking."

"No Todd, I'm not crazy. Just have Cameraphixia."

"Is it serious?"

"Nah, just means I could snap at any moment and kill the first cameraman I see."

Todd lets out a nervous laughter falling back into his seat. Scarlett smiles, softly caressing my arm.

"How's your neck?"

"Alright."

"You're wearing that neck brace when you get home."

"Why? Is it a turn on?"

T: "Gross."

I look at Todd in the rear view mirror as I reply to him.

"Bitch you're twenty-two years old, don't say gross at a sexual comment."

Todd sulks in his seat and kicks the back of my seat. I swear to god if Scarlett and the dog weren't in this car right now I'd swerve the car off this bridge just to teach him a lesson. Everyone always sympathizes with Todd and says 'Gator why you gotta be so mean to poor old Todd?' Problem is that the guy's a dick, yeah he's my best friend but he can be a real cunt when there isn't a camera around. I pay attention to the road. Traffic's not too bad, should make it home in forty minutes.

"Have you taken your heart medicine today?"

"Yes. What's up with the worrying? Freaking me out."

"Oh I'm sorry I care about my boyfriend."

"There we go. Sarcasm! The Scarlett I know and love is back."

She rolls her eyes at me, pretending to be mad. I can't help but smile. I have a good life right now. Maybe a break from the XWF won't be so bad, probably what I need the most. Clear my head. Heal up. Come back better than ever and kick ten tons of shit out of every single person I come across.

T: "Can we stop for ice cream?"

"Smartest thing I've heard all day, hell yes we can stop for ice cream!"

F A D E 2 B E T T E R T O D D

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