R: Gator. Long time, no see huh? I still remember the fatal four-way from last year, where we literally carried the match with those two other no-name, goin'-nowhere fast schmucks. I took a trip since you last saw me. Jail, mental clinics, and a ton of needles, pills and machines trying to "do what's best for me". Well, I'm back. And there is no man or woman on this roster I'd like to face in my return match other than you. I've been away for a while, and things have clearly changed, but you and I remain.

And I still remember you accepting my offer to form a team for the Trios titles. Kendall may not have answered, the straps may be defunct, but you proved something to me, just as Vinnie Lane. Not everyone in this company is out for themselves. So, taking into account how far you've come in the past year or so, it'd be an honor to meet you once again.

And by the way... that Ark of the Covenant title. You wanted it before... if you want it? I can talk with THE Mac Bry and see about defending it against you. It may seem like nothing right now, but believe you/me... things are changing. And those who don't Beiieve? Will Be Left Behind.

Peace

|cut|

"Nah I'm pretty busy. Thanks for the offer though, I guess."

Well since Gator and Frodo are both mega sized pussy ass bitches with no dicks except for the ones they take in their asses while they're doing anything except competing, how about I take you on, you hot bag of flaming cheetos? I believe, I believe. Show me what makes you tick, and put that meaningless Ark title on the line because I have a habit of taking meaningless titles from chumps before I move up to taking the main titles from spooge stooges. Let's make and repeat history all in one get go. Let's play Twister! Ow ow!

Roxy sees THE Mac Bry hiding behind a trash can while Reeve talks to Gator, and she notices the Ark title that still somehow exists.

She wheels "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's hospital bed from down the hallway and slams it into TMB, pinning him to the floor and then dropping to her knees to make the count for Loverboy.



1!


2!

"Mmm. Pins. Cheetos. Gold around the waste. I'll take all the above. Someone, come pin me and let the cheetos fall all over me."

Pike, you're on. Next Madness, you and me, we'll set the whole building on fire and tear down the walls, bring that ceiling down, and put on a PPV quality match. I hope Frodo's watching. And now, to handle business.

[Reeve shoves Vinnie off, before turning to Roxxy.]

Vinnie's cool and all, but if the two of you fuck with one of my aquaintences again, be sure to contact a hospital. You'll need them to reserve a couple of beds. And by the way--

[Suddenly, Axl VanHalen smashes a guitar over Reeve's head, dropping him to the floor. Tifa BonJovi, Axl's girlfriend, as well as band mate in GwarTellica, stoops down to count the fall.]


1...





2...





THREE!!!


Axl grabs the belt and glares down at Vinnie, then up towards the camera.

"Guess who's the champ now? I'll give you one good guess. He's the leader of THE GREATEST, MOST ROCKINGEST ROCK GROUP IN THE STRATUSPHERE,,, GwarTellica! ME, Axl VanHalen. And I'll soon be the Universal Champion because the entire roster is filled with chumps who aren't even worthy enough to clean my jock! So, if you, Pike, and/or Vinnie's little tart want in, so be it! XWF? Prepare to be CRUE-Cified, hahahahaha!!!"

The Ax Man and his gf head off down the hallway.

--fade--