Johnny and I finished wrapping up our promo and stood up. Georgie was putting his laptop up.

George, wait. I need to do something on your laptop.

George rolls his eyes and pulls his laptop back out of his bag and hands it to me. I turn it on and open the Google. I type into Google that I'm looking to purchase a Goat. Johnny gets to his feet and laughs as he sees this. He leans down and kisses me on the ear. George wonders what is so funny.

What are looking up, Ginger?

I'm buying a Goat!! Georgie, we're gonna be Goat people.

I get excited as I open a site offering to sell Goats for cheap. I am shocked, there is a plethora of baby Goats for sale. I squeal.

Oh, babe. I love your enthusiasm. You're seriously going to buy a Goat, though?

I excitedly nod my head up and down. This is the best decision of my life! A Goat is going to make everything perfect. I find a farm not far from here, and pull up directions on my mobile. I set the laptop down, cue up some music, and jump to my feet and start dancing. Johnny walks over and grabs a Coke from my fridge, he offers George and I one, but I decline, and George accepts it. They share a Coke and laugh at the names on the cans. Johnny's says "Superstar", George's says "Dreamer". They laugh and point out how it describes me. I laugh, and then wonder if I am in fact a superstar.

George rolls down the hallway to get ready, and Johnny heads out. He tells me that he's going to go fetch a van for us from his work. He says there's one up there he can borrow for the day. Promises it'll be easy for George to get in and out of, since it's for animals. I remind him that George isn't an animal, he's a people. Johnny kisses me and leaves. I plop on the couch, and make a face while looking around for something to do until they get back. I flip through a book George left out on the table. It's some fantasy thing. It's kind of interesting, but there are way too many words. Lots of words confuse me. I put it down, and give it a grumpy face.

George rolls out while I'm doing this. He looks confused. Honestly, he should be used to to this stuff by now.

Why are you scowling at the book?

I fix my face, so that George doesn't think I was scowling at him. I don't like scowling at George, sticking my tongue out is one thing, but scowling is mean.

It has too many words. I tried to read some of it, but there were just so many useless words. I mean, what's any of that got to do with whatever the book is about?

He looked at me with a deadpan look, he was 100 percent serious when he asked this next question.

Can you read??

I was shocked, I didn't know how to answer. I mean, I could read, but it's so boring.

Ye-yeah. I can read. I just don't like to. Books don't have enough colours in them. I like colouring books, though. I can make all the animals whatever colour I want.

He seriously just rolled right past me, and out the door. Johnny was waiting outside, and I quickly ran to catch up with them. I guess Johnny noticed the look on George's face because he immediately asked this question.

What's wrong, George?

Ginger is illiterate. Either that, or she's just got the mind of a child.

I'm pouting as I walk out. I have no idea why George is taking such offense to this, I did not mean to insult him. I rush up to him, and though still sad, I hug him tightly, and kiss his cheek.

Why are you hugging me now?

Cause I love you, little brother. I love that you love to read, it's just that there's too many words. And I don't like words.

Johnny is now confused. I release the hug, and he helps George into the van. I try and get in, but he stops me right before he closes the van door. In a whisper he asks me.

What are you two talking about?

One of Georgie's books was in the living room. I flipped through it, and it was really hard to read. There's just so many words.

He looks awestruck at me. Could I have just said something that ridiculously stupid?

Babe, he wrote that story. That is his book. He wrote it up, and tried to have it published. People were turned off by the notion of a paralysed hero saving the day. They said it was too ridiculous. He let me read it to see what I think.

The colour runs from my face. I'm now as white as the van that I'm standing beside. I don't know how to react, so I do the first thing I can imagine. I open my door, and jump in before Johnny can stop me. I slam it shut, and begin to sob as I turn to face my baby brother.

I'm so sorry, Georgie Porgie, I didn't know it were your book there. I tried to read it, it's just that you know I've never been good with books. I promise to read it entirely. I love you, baby brother. I'll always support you in what you do.

He laughs a little. I don't understand. Or, rather, I might, but I don't think he does.

I don't care if you read the book or not. I just care that you're illiterate. Why would you hide it from me?

I'm confused. I can read. He knows I can read. Johnny gets into the van, and changes the subject. We discuss music as we drive up to the farm where they're selling the Goats. I'm excited as we drive up there. And the radio was playing my song as we arrived. I bounce out of the van to the sweet soothing sounds of Natasha Bedingford. I bounce my way up to the fence around the yard where they keep the Goats. One of them comes over and I pet it on the long neck. The Goat stretches its neck out as I scratch along it. It makes a soft humming noise.

Johnny and George come up to me, and I introduce them to my new friend, the Goat.

I want to introduce you to my new friend...

Georgie cuts me off.

What are you doing with that thing?

Her name is Jackie, and she's coming home with us.

The Farmer comes over as I'm looking at Jackie, and petting her nicely. He's got this weird accent, kind of Welsh mixed with Scottish. He's about 50, and slightly overweight with a limp.

'Elow. Ya cern't nerm that'n Jackie. Eeet's uh boo.

I don't understand. Johnny seems to, so he goes over and tries to talk with the man. I assume they're coming up with a figure. George looks at me confused, and then he spots a herd of Llama in another enclosure. He rolls towards them to play with the baby Llama, which are called Kids. It's funny, my kid brother playing with Llama kids. I hear the Llamas bleating as he pets them. Johnny whistles, and I walk up to the Farmer. He looks satisfied.

Shoo, yer terkin' thas berbee Goat ferm me? Eh?

I look at Johnny.

So, you're taking this baby goat from me, then? Eh.

Yeah, I want this one. I want to name her Jackie.

Eet's uh boo. Aye jerst terd yuh dat.

He just told you, it's a boy, Ginger. You can't name it Jackie.

I'm saddened and confused. I take a minute to process this, I decide on a new name. While making puppy eyes at Johnny.

I'll name him King Henry. How much for King Henry?

To my amazement, he speaks the price clear as day. In perfect English.

Give me Twelve hundred pounds, love. Then the Goat is yours.

I pull out a cheque and start writing it out. Without hesitation. Johnny leads King Henry to the van while I do this. George is down petting a baby Llama. He is laughing and smiling, and I'm happy for him. I hope he likes King Henry as much as he does that Llama he's playing with. I hand the cheque to the farmer, he thanks me and offers to sell me a shed for King Henry to live in. I laugh at this idea.

Silly, King Henry is living inside with us.

I run down to where Georgie's at, and wrap my arms around him tightly. I begin to sing a song our mum used to sing when she was happy. George starts to hum along with me.

What are you doing?

I bought a Goat. I named him. His name is King Henry. Hey, how's things with Tiff?

He waits before answering. I fear the answer will be bad news.

You know how she's kinda slutty acting?

I release my hug, and move around to sit on the fence and look at him. It's a wooden fence, so it should hold me just fine.

I wouldn't say that, she's just really into different men, all the time.

Right, well all of that. It's now how she is with me. With me, I actually feel like she wants to be around me and not just for a shag.

I almost fall over when he says this. I knew Tiffany wanted to shag Georgie, but I didn't think it had happened yet.

You shagged Tiffany? When?

No. That's the thing, we haven't. She wanked me, but that's it.

I am entirely shocked now. My best friend wanked my brother? When? And where was I?

I do not ask these questions. Instead, I fall right into the Llama pen. I landed, luckily, in a puddle of mud, and not on any poor Llama. I try and get up, but I'm not able to stand. George starts calling for Johnny, who comes running up to pull me out. Running as fast as he possibly can. I start laughing so hard it almost turns into tears. Johnny gets to the fence, and he pulls me up. I get to my feet, and over the fence. I am muddy, and squishy. I stomp around pretending to be an Ogre for a while, trying to make this fun. Johnny doesn't seem to be having fun with it. He wants to make sure I'm fine.

I'm fine, if you ignore the shocking news I just received. Johnny, George got a wank from Tiff.

He doesn't seem phased. He just highfives George.

Fair dues, mate. That Tiff is proper fit. Not as fit as your sister, but ya done good.

Did you just go English School boy to congratulate my brother on getting a wank? And did you really just call my best mate "Proper fit"?

I may have. Don't tell me you don't think she's pretty.

You're not supposed to have an opinion, though.

Oh, George, she's a blank canvas of looks. Neutral job, man.

I roll my eyes and chuckle a little. I stomp over to Johnny while making Ogre noises with my arms spread out wide. I growl at him.

GINGER HUG. GINGER LOVE. GRRRRR

I wrap my muddy arms around him. He laughs and wraps his arms around my muddy body. George looks at us like we're nuts.

It's ok if you think Tiff is pretty, but I'm prettier, yeah?

I look up at him with my puppy dog eyes and blink a few times. He leans down at me and kisses me. It only lasts a second, but it feels like an eternity.

There's no one nearly as pretty or as amazing as you are, babe.

We all head back to the van and head home. Back home, George and Johnny get out, and lead King Henry into the living room. I stay behind and try and clean up the Goat poo in the back of the van. I throw it in the bin, and head inside. King Henry is walking around learning about his new home, and Johnny and George are talking in the parlour. I listen to them, as they don't know I'm here yet.

Does she really think this is a goat?

I dunno, but I'm going to talk to her later about it. I can't tell if she's being weird on purpose or if she confused a Llama and a Goat.

I run in and leap over the sofa between them! I let out a loud shriek as I do.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! GINGER BOMB!!!!

I land on the coffee table, and hurt my butt. I turn around and face them with a bright smile on my face. I'm hurt, I really did think Henry was a Goat. I refuse to let them know that.

So, why did you let me think Henry was a Goat, and not a Llama. Guys, I was really confused.

Smooth, Ginger.

I thought you were just being Ginger. Full of oddities.

I blink and smile at them. Then a lightbulb goes off. No, literally. One of the lights dies in the house. It startles me.

Guys, I gotta cut a promo real quick. Get Henry and the laptop!!

George goes to the telly and grabs his laptop while Johnny wrangles King Henry into the room, and I snuggle up with Johnny while he holds Henry's reigns so Henry is in the picture behind us. We're both still muddy and dirty. George lines up the shot, and I hit record.

Hey, Andy. I saw your promo about going to the lawyers, and I really don't know what to say. I'm sad that you're trying to blame someone else for your time in prison, when you really are the one who did the bad stuff. It's not ok to not accept responsibility. Really, and truly. It's just not nice, like when you hurt me, and Vinnie. Then you blamed Thunderbolt for all of Vinnie's pain. I know, he did spear Vinnie, but he was going for you. You moved out of the way, and allowed poor defenseless Vinnie to get all hurt. Really, Andy, that was mean. I think you owe Thunderbolt an apology. I do as well. I shouldn't have been as mean to him as I was when he kept making excuses, but it just upset me then. You did yours because you're a bully. A very mean bully.

I did apologise to Vinnie when I mistook him for a butch lesbian, and I even explained to him where the mistake came from. I'm not the brightest, and I sometimes get confused. Like King Henry here, I got confused with him. I thought he was a Goat. It wasn't right, but it was a mistake that I owned up to. And one, I hope he accepts my apology for. But you, you don't own up to your mistakes. You're trying to sue the police because it was their fault you went to prison when you did wrong? Did you expect them to do nothing about your actions?

Do you expect people to ignore the things you did because you came from a bad situation? Look at George, he was 17 when our parents died. I was 23. I was gone, and George was alone in the hospital for days while I sorted out the situation with them. It took months for us to get the house remodeled for him. He's had a terrible situation, and he's not running around hurting people. Don't you dare make that joke.

I don't know how those people heard narration for my promos, I won't claim you paid them, or anything like that. What I will claim is that I have no idea what's going on. I don't use a narrator, and I don't do voice overs. Is it my voice you're hearing the thoughts in, or no? Please, Andy, I need to understand what's going on. This is freaking me out. I'm really scared right now.

I get to my feet and turn the laptop off. Johnny releases King Henry, and he kicks the couch before running off.

<3 Gator <3