Team Gilmour... ASSEMBLE!


(The scene opens into the arena in AT&T Stadium where thousands of fans are still cheering excessively since last week. They are all waiting for Ray to show up and boost their ratings. There's a promo from Mastermind playing on the X-Tron but they are booing and throwing tomatoes at the screen. Living Color shows up on the stage and begins to play Ray's theme song Cult Of Personality. The straight edge ratings warrior runs out on the stage with his shiny jacket. He grabs the mic with one hand and throws up devil horns with the other and sings lyrics to the song. Oh my God in an unexpected turn of events he takes the microphone stand and whacks the lead singer of Living Color across the face! The music has stopped playing now as Ray takes the mic stand and uses it like a bo staff on the rest of the band! Everyone is knocked out!)

Ray Tings: Do I have your attention now? Haha! Finally... the ratings have returned to the arena! And let's hear it for my manager Stephanie McMahon Tings!

(Stephanie walks out wearing a bikini that has union jacks and Ray's face all over it. She makes out with Ray while cupping his testicles. She smells her hand afterwards and has an orgasm.)

Ray Tings: First I just wanna say that Im excited to be on Team Gillmour at Bad Medicine! After I show off what I can do on the event I have no doubt in my mind that the next team will be TEAM TINGS! Over the weekend I got a lot of emails and tweets asking me if Im mad at Peter Gilmour for politicking his way into his leadership position. The answer is... NO! I am happy, no THRILLED for Mr. Gilmour that he'll get exposure that he desperately needs from being teamed up with the biggest ratings puller of all time RAY F'N TINGS! He might be the king of wrestling but I am the king of all sports entertainment and of the ratings! Face it Peter all you do is come out here and PANDER! You pander to these people because you want them to like you cause it's all you care about. You are nothing more than a JOHN CENA WANNABE! Too bad you are a poor mans John Cena because if I ever got in the ring with you I would have you screaming I QUIT in 5 different languages! But I didn't come out here to bury Peter Gilmour because Peter is my teammate at Bad Raytings. I'm here to bury my opponents. Mr. Rellik or should I say KILLER! You havent said anything all week and I don't blame you for that. You must be frightened by the x-factor superstar on Peter's team whos gonna go on to win the whole match. My advice to you is to maintain your silence because I would hate to make you look like an assclown on live television in front of millions of fans! Yellow Sword that promo was so gay and I can't even begin to describe it. And finally I want to reach out to Master Mind. Master Mind you have got to be the biggest ass clown that I've ever seen! No youre worst than that because you are a pile of SHIT! You are so shitty that flies were hanging out around you in your promo! We all saw it! I bet the flies were the only audience members that you could find for that epic failure of a promo. No better yet the flies probably wanted nothing to do with it but you set up fly traps and forced them to watch that disaster promo. Good job of putting everyone to sleep Master Mind!

I am the all star of this team and I will be the one who stands with my hand raised and my foot buried deep into the gay mouth of Master Mind. You're gonna kiss my ass too and then we'll call you Master BEHIND, HAHAHAHAH!

(The scene fades)