Beep



Beep



Beep



Bright lights.


Darkness.


Bright lights.


Darkness.


My eyes continue to flicker uncontrollably. I can hear the sound of voices, two to be specific. One deep, one not. Most likely the deep one belongs to a man, the other a woman.

I try and focus on the voices to try and make out what they are saying but I have no such luck.

A few seconds later and my eyelids are forced open and a bright light overtakes my view.

First left.

Then right.

Left again.

And finally the right.

The light disappears and my eyes close.

It takes all the strength I have but I am able to slowly open my eyes and blink a few times before I have no choice but to close them. At that point I can make out one of the voices, it's my mother. The other voice is an unfamiliar one but it's definitely that of a male.

A doctor perhaps? Is that what's happening?

Am I in a hospital?

It would make sense. My head feels like some cracked it open with an aluminum baseball bat and then proceeded to drive a semi over my head a few times just for giggles.

"Your son sustained a grade 3 concussion Mrs. Ericson."

I hear the man say. My mother wastes no time and starts in with a barrage of follow up questions.

"Is he going to be ok? What are the long term side effects of this? What kind of medicine is he on? What is your plan for treatment?"

Jesus Christ Mom give the fucking guy a chance to talk.

Wait...

Did I just say that outloud?

God I hope not. My mother would shit a brick if she heard me talking like that.

Wait a second...

Why am I talking like that?

What the fuck is happening?

"Well Mrs. Ericson it's hard to know right now what the side effects will be. I can tell you what the potential side effects are for someone who has had a Grade 3 Concussion but not everyone experiences the same side effects and or the same severity of those side effects. His eyes were somewhat responsive to the light test which means he did sustain a head injury. His eyes flickering like they just did is him coming out of the medically induced coma we had him in. And that was only done to help get the brains swelling down. Which seems to have worked as evidence by him slowly beginning to regain consciousness. We will know more once he is awake and talking to us. Right now the best thing we can do is just remain patient."

Patience is not one of my mother's virtues.

"Is he going to be alright Doctor?"

"Yes. He should recover just fine. He may experience things like headaches, sensitivity to light, vomiting, depression, moodiness, amnesia, issues with sleep, nausea and confusion. But again, he could experience all, none or some of those symptoms we really won't know for a little bit."

Jesus Doc, you might as well have just told her "he could die, or he could survive and develop a cure for fucking cancer." I mean fuck, you went to school for this? No wonder the medical field has a need for nurses. This Doctor's bedside manner makes Scully look like an intelligent, well spoken, member of society and not a fucking .

Fuck, why am I being so mean? This isn't me. I'm not that guy. Bruce is that guy. Carson is that guy. I'm the nice one.

"If you don't mind Mrs. Ericson I am going to go finish my rounds but I'll be back in a little bit. Talk to your son, he can definitely hear you and it will bring him comfort to know that you are here."

Ok maybe I was a little overly critical of the guy, he doesn't seem so bad.

"Yes Doctor. I will definitely do that."

I can hear the sound of the door open and then shut quickly after and then the sound of my mother's voice as she wastes no time taking the doctor's advice and starts chirping in my ear.

"Flynn honey it's your mom. Your father is on his way here. He was in San Francisco but he got in the car the second I called him. He should be here soon. The doctor said that you have a concussion but that you should wake up any minute now. I want you to know that your father and I love you very much and we are extremely proud of you for everything you've accomplished so far in your life. You are such a sweet young man, your father and I couldn't be any prouder."

Damn mom, I'm not dying.

Wait, did she hear that?

"A young lady stopped by here a little bit ago. Her name was Sarah. She said that you feel out of a tree after you helped rescue her cat. She apologized repeatedly and said that if there was anything she could do to help to please let her know. She seemed like a very nice girl and very sad that you were here in this bed. She brought a card for you and she left her number with me and asked that I call her as soon as you wake up. She said she would have liked to stay but she had a class to get to."

I try with everything I have to open my eyes again and after a few seconds of trying I am finally able to so. As soon as they open my mother immediately stands up from her seat next to the bed and looks down over me. I can see her face hovering about a foot above mine, it's a mix of joy and concern.

"Flynn honey can you hear me? It's your mother. I'm right here sweet heart. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."

Before I can do what my mother asks my eyes close and everything shuts off...


*** Several Hours Later ***


"Wake the fuck up man. This shit ain't funny. You got a match to prepare for. Shit so do I. Wait a minute, what the fuck am I even doing here?"

Carson?

I open my eyes this time with a lot less effort than in previous instances. I even manage to keep them open this time.

"Oh shit you heard me. I thought that whole thing was total bullshit. You know, that you can hear people when you're in a coma but I guess it's true." Carson says as he takes a sip from his Chipotle cup."You had us scared man. Henry hasn't stopped smashing shit ever since he heard. Dick got emotional for a second and then he went back on the hunt and Bruce, Bruce got real upset. Though it could have been that dank ass weed we were smoking. That shit fucked him up. Rookie. So when are you getting out of here?"

What I wouldn't give for a joint right now.

Wait, what am I saying. That's what got me here in the first place.

No! Don't' say that. Never blame the weed. It wasn't the weeds fault. If anything the weed gave me the super strength to scale that tree like Spider Man scales buildings.

I'm here because the tree branch was weak like every line of nonsense that Muddy Waters tries to pass off as trash talk.

Yeah that's it. It's the tree's fault.

Let's go with that.

And while we're at it. Fuck Muddy Waters and his backwoods, fuck your sister while his first cousin finger blasts herself in the corner, fucking coon hanging, gay bashing, wife beater wearing, redneck.

Holy shit. Did I just say that?

I didn't. I mean, I did but not out loud.

Oh fucking great. So not only do I talk to myself but every other word I say is a curse word.

Great. I've become that little dicksucker Frodo but without the love of lady boys.

Fuck. I don't remember the Doctor saying "go insane" when he was rattling off symptoms to my mom.

This is what I get for always being the nice guy. I try and save some twat's cat and I end up all fucked up in the head talking to myself.

So much for karma.

Karma's a cunt. There I said it.

"Can you hear me bro? Say something. Blink your eyes. Lift your arm, show me a sign. Give me something."

"Car..."

"Yeah it's Carson bro. I should go get your parents. They were sleeping in the waiting room, I don't even think they know I'm here. I'll be right back."

"Wait..."

"Oh snap. You can talk. That's great. You'll be outta here faster than it takes Scully to say something . Maybe. I don't know, he's pretty quick with that."

"W..."

"Water? You want some water?" Carson immediately starts looking about the room to see if there is a cup of water that he can give his tag team partner.

"We..."

"Were's your parents? I told you in the waiting room sleeping."

"Weed."

"Oh shit bro, I don't think that's a good idea. Not with all those tubes hanging out of you and shit. Maybe later. Besides I'm as dry as a 15 year old girls cunt when they see Muddy Waters creepin by. But I can give Bruce a call and get him down here no problem."

Carson reaches into his back pocket and pulls out what I presume is a cell phone.

What the fuck? Is that a cell phone or a silver brick with an antenna? Who does this guy think he is Zack Morris?

Time for an upgrade bro.

"Bruce it's Carson. We need green, STAT. Yeah the hospital. Yeah dude, it was his idea. Alright see you soon." Carson pockets his massive brick phone and then turns to face me. "Alright boss, he's on his way. We'll get you high and back to normal in no time."

Normal?

That's going to be easier said than done.