OOC: The following Promo is a continuation of sorts from The Decision

The scene opens to an interior view of the House chamber. Seated throughout the room are various Senators and House Reps. The walls of the House chamber are adorned with relief portraits of some of history's most famous lawmakers and lawgivers. Men such as Thomas Jefferson, Napoleon, George Mason, Pope Gregory IX, Louis IX of France and of course, Moses. Standing at the podium is current junior United States Senator from Texas Rafael Edward "Ted" Cruz. The man who just two months ago announced that he would be running for the Republican Party nomination in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election is currently addressing the mixed Democratic and Republican audience. By the looks of the faces in the crowd very few if any of them are actually listening to what the Senator is saying.

Suddenly Hail To The Chief starts playing over the speakers...



...and everyone in the room suddenly turns their heads towards the doors in the back of the chamber.

Is the President making a surprise visit?

It's not unheard of but certainly not common either.

An awkwardness comes over the room as the men and women on the floor start whispering amongst themselves trying to figure out what is going on. A minute or so passes and then the doors at the back of the chamber open up and there standing in the doorway is "Lucky 7" Carson Waters. To his immediate right is Flynn Andrew Cole-Ericon.

As the duo walk through the doorway and down the somewhat narrow pathway the various members of Congress start looking at the duo completely in shock that the sanctity of the House Chamber could be broken in such a way.

"Excuse me but this is a closed session of Congress, you can't be here." Senator Ted Cruz shouts from high atop his podium of self righteousness.

"Calm your tits bro, we got this."

"Security! Can we get Security down here immediately?"

”Yeah, seriously. This dude’s tryna jack my swag. What’s up with that bro?” Carson asks, still trying to shoo Cruz away. Cruz refuses to budge and instead leans forward so he’s practically tongue fucking the microphone before screaming at the top of his lungs.

"SECURITY WHERE ARE YOU?!”

The mic screeches and wails with feedback, causing everyone in the chamber to cover their ears and grit their teeth. Cruz’s hands are grabbing onto the sides of the podium so tightly, his nails are digging into the wood.

”Bro are you trying to make us all deaf or something? Not cool bro, first swag jacking then screaming into microphones, jeez. Go back to Canadia where that stuff is accepted bro.”

Cruz scrunches his face in confusion and turns to face the man occupying the podium with him, and in that moment Carson grabs the mic and turns it toward him. He steps forward slightly, just enough to take Cruz off guard and knock him down by bumping into him.

”Sorry bro! Anywho, I’m sure you might know who my comrade, wait no that’s a poor choice of words, associate, are. The Green Party’s candidates for the presidency, Pro wrestling extraordinaires, et cetera.”

Suddenly, a voice from the back of the chamber pipes up with a quiet, mouse like, “And?”

”And, what? Oh, right. Yeah, why we’re here, our platform and shizz. Get up here Flynn! Yeah, Flynn’s the eloquent one of us two, I’m the idea man.”

Carson steps aside, stepping over the fallen Senator Cruz as Flynn steps up to the podium and clears his throat.

"Hi everyone. Thanks for giving us the opportunity to address you all here today." Flynn says as he looks out at the room filled with elected officials.

"We didn't give you the opportunity to do anything, you just walked in here unannounced and uninvited." Senator Cruz yells angrily at Flynn and Carson.

"You know what? I've had just about enough of you fella. Security!!!"

The doors to the House Chamber reopen and Henry Hemmington comes charging out. He shoulder tackles a few people standing a little too close to the aisle.

"Brick Squad Assemble!"

The entire congregation of the House Chamber look up to the balcony to see Dick Powers standing there, his hands cupped around his mouth to amplify his voice.

Hemmington grabs Ted Cruz by the back of his collar lifts him up off his feet, hangs him parallel to the ground and carries him out of the House Chamber passing XWF X-treme Champion Bruce Blingsteen on their way.

"You done fucked up now brah." Bruce says with a laugh as he lights up another joint.

"You can't smoke in here." A young Senator from Rhode Island chimes in.

"Excuse me but the Chair does not recognize your Banana Republic bitch ass. So sit down." Carson shouts into the microphone.

Flynn grabs a hold of the microphone and positions it even with his mouth. He looks out at the still somewhat shocked crowd and smiles."As I was saying, thank you all for the opportunity to speak to you all today. I am sure by now you all have heard the good news. Carson and I are the running to be your next Commander and Chief as well as Vice President.

Now that's the old, how about the new?

The reason we are all here today is to talk Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5 of the United States constitution. I am sure you all are familiar with that specific clause but just incase you aren't my friend Carson will read it to you.

Carson Waters stands up, reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a pair of thick black glasses sans frames and begins reading the specific passage aloud.

"No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States." Carson finishes reading the passage and then pockets his glasses before taking his seat behind Flynn.

"Thanks bro. Now I bet you are all wondering what exactly this has to do with anything and fear not bro and broettes, Flynn is going to give you the 4-1-1. You see in order for Carson and I to be able to run for President of this fine nation the age of eligibility will have to be reduced...drastically. My buddy Carson is 22 and me? Well I just turned 19 a few weeks ago."

Suddenly all the men and the women in the House chamber start talking amongst themselves, completely ignoring Flynn and Carson.

"Look I know what we are suggesting sounds pretty radical but the truth is, if someone is old enough to go off and fight to uphold our country's freedoms then they should be old enough to run for this nation's highest office. And I know deep down you all agree with me."

No response, not even the slightest hint of recognition that anyone is even talking. Flynn waits for a couple of seconds, tapping his foot before Carson butts in.

”Alright, since it’s obvious that you don’t want to talk about the real issue, let me tell you bitches about the greatest word in politics: Filibuster.”

Everyone in the chamber shuts up and looks at the man standing at the podium, eyes wide.

”See, I got this match coming up, well not just me, Flynn and I got this match coming up for our tag team titles against the Black Hand. Now if you’ve been watching XWF in the past while, you’d know that the Black Hand is exactly who we beat for these things in the first place. Sure, a subgroup of them called Team , but still. These two don’t go under that moniker though they really should, seeing as one of the guys is Scully, the self proclaimed and Muddy Waters, who is basically the same person only from the south instead of England. That don’t matter though because they’re gonna fall like Mav and Scully did.

Seriously though guys, putting Scully back in the tag title mix immediately after he showed he wasn’t good enough to keep a hold of them? What kinda nonsense is that? Sure, if the Black Handjob wants another loss to their name they can go right ahead and do it but I thought Pest was supposed to be smart or something. Or is it he’s only good at bringing up irrelevant ‘facts’ like his good buddy but not really, Maverick? Hell, that’s all I hear when he opens his mouth anyway, Maverick with an old dude’s voice because that’s pretty much it but here I am talking about someone not even in this match, though he’s gonna get his ass beat by Bruce over there.

Scully’s gonna do the same thing he did last time, be a and lose. Muddy’s gonna lose like he did in his last title match because that’s how the Black Hand does title matches. They shit the bed during all of them. Sure Muddy can beat guys like Karl Cross but when the pressure’s turned up just a little bit he collapses in on himself like a Jenga tower because he really doesn’t have what it takes. Not in the slightest.

Straight up and no sugar coating, these two aren’t even in the Brick Squad’s league. Hell, none of the Black Hand is. The truth of the matter is we’ve made bigger splashes wading through the pool of lackluster competition we’ve been put up against, a pool that includes Maverick and Scully, who are the only members of the Black Hand to hold any title this year, than the Black Hand has made cannonballing into the deep end since their formation.

First and only stable to win Superstar of the month. Breaking down the barriers of selfishness and spreading the wealth between the whole posse like it ain’t no thing. Revolutionizing the way people are gonna think of the Star of the Month award for years to come.

Five undefeated members. 15-0 combined across all of us. And it ain’t because we’re running scared and trying to get easy opponents like Maverick tried to do when he realized he was fucked facing Flynn and I. Have he had the stiffest of competition every week? No, but that ain’t on us. That’s on the bookers, we’ll take on anyone, anytime. Hell, speaking of that we tried to get the entirety of the Black Hand in a big five on five match a while back and then they go and fall apart to get out of getting another L to us. They know any time one of them goes up against one of us, the only thing that’ll happen will be us walking all over them.

So they imploded. Nice strategy guys.

They’re going to do it again. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Scully beats the piss outta Muddy to avoid this match and avoid admitting that no matter how good he gets, it’ll never be good enough to dethrone the Squad.

Ain’t no shame in telling the truth boys.

Now, Flynn, you got anything else to say about these two?”

"I have something to say." Shouts an old and crusty gentlemen four rows back. With the help of his colleague's he stands up and starts to address the champs.

"Not trying to be rude Mr. Rogers but we have the floor. Honestly you should be thanking us because now you can tell all your constituents that it wasn't your fault nothing got done."

Unlike normal where you all sit around here trying to figure out the latest and greatest way to lower your tax burden while increasing that of the middle classes.

"And besides, I've seen how some of these filibusters go...."

Yeah we could have bored you all to death and read transcripts from our opponents promos instead.

Instead we are opting to entertain you all."

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?!" Dick Powers shouts from the second floor balcony.

"That Dick. What a funster. Anyway guys and gals here's the skinny of it. Carson and I have a match coming up. Some might call it a big match, our opponents would call it a big match."

That's because to them this is the apex of their otherwise uneventful career."

"Poor Scully, bless his heart, he tried his best. It wasn't his fault that his partner let him down like he did."

Tries his best?

That fucking picked Maverick to be his partner. Maverick. A half wit simpleton that's made a career for himself halfassing his way through matches.

Scully may not have taken the pin but that loss is as much on him for picking an asshole for a partner as it is his asshole partner for deciding to take a nap in the middle of the match.

And to make matters worse he got forced into joining a stable.

Forced.

Actually that's not right.

Forced implies that he actually fought back but lost.

In reality Pest said you are joining my stable and Scully then proceeded to wipe the cum from his mouth and said ok.

I bet if Pest told Scully to go ass ram a 13 year old girl the stupid fuck would do it no questions asked.

Speaking of no questions asked why has no one asked Scully why he went from being a British guy who shits on titles to suddenly dropping the accent in favor of being a who shits the bed in big matches?

And possibly titles.

And I thought I was the one with the head injury.

Tries his best? What the fuck ever.

"Scully I'm really looking forward to facing you again bro. You gave it your all in the last match and if it weren't for your partner you might have walked out of there still the Champs."

Nope.

Not even remotely true. That fucking IQ challenged asshat never stood a chance. He could have had Jesus Christ as his partner and it still wouldn't have mattered.

Stop trying to be the nice guy for once and just say what you are really thinking.

Pussy.

"Shut up!"

Carson pauses his hand held game and looks up at Flynn, totally caught off guard by the latter's remark.

"You ok bro?"

Flynn looks around embarrassed. He nods his head at his partner and then continues on as if nothing happened.

"Then we have Muddy Waters a guy who has really turned some heads since showing up. That guy is definitely one of my favorite new wrestlers to show up in the fed. Sure he attacked me not too long ago but I know it wasn't personal. Just business. He was trying his best to fit into what he thinks Pest wants from him. Truth is I don't think he really knows what Pest wants of The Black Hand. One second the guy is forcing people into his stable the next he's betraying them. Tread lightly Muddy, I like you bro, wouldn't want to see Pest do to you what he did to Maverick."

Like him?

Are you for fucking real?

What is there to like about that delusional douchebag?

The guy think's he's something special because he is the Federweight Champ. Big deal.

His single biggest achievement is holding a title that he won because he can sort of trash talk not because he can actually wrestle.

In a wrestling federation mind you.

Whoopdefuckingdoo.

I bet that cow fucker actually get's excited when his prized pig comes in 5th place.

He probably takes ole Bessy behind the barn and gives her his muddy member.

Damn bro you're a savage. No need to talk about his wife like that there's plenty to attack Muddy on just from the shit he says.

The guy trumpets his win over a nobody named Karl Cross as if he's some kind of wrestling savant.

First he says that everyone dickrode the guy then in the same sentence he says that everyone knew that Cross was a quitter crybaby.

Damn, dude's been watching too many Peter Gilmour promos with that finely tuned trash talk.

And this guy is a trash talk champion? Christ this place must be completely fucked.

But whatever. Not even the point.

Here's the point, why would people dickride a guy they know is a quitter crybaby? Maybe he thinks the whole roster is when in actuality it's just his tag team partner.

And now possibly himself.

Blamed losing his chance at the Hart title on a ref? Yep, this guy is sounding more and more like Peter Gilmour, but with a redneck accent.

I wonder who he is going to blame after he and Scully lose to us next week? The janitor? The ring announcer? Steve Bartman?

Did you hear the one about how Muddy helped form one of the " hottest and most dangerous new stables, The Black Hand..."?

His words, not mine.

Hottest? Hottest how? Cause ain't not a one of them hot in the looks department and their lack of winning anything resembling a big time match would mean they aren't even hot in the sports metaphor sense.

Or the fact that The Black Hand has lost more matches in the last two weeks than Brick Squad ever has.

Maybe when he says dangerous he means to their own careers in which case he would be dead on. Aligning yourself with a fucking freak like Pest is definitely a good way to completely submarine your own career.

Good show Muddy you stupid bitch.

I even liked the part about how Muddy made more money than he can even count like that's some great feat.

The guy's ADD kicks in after he gets to 2 so it's not like the bar is set all that high.

Whatever.

But that ain't even the best part.

This silly bitch actually tried to call me out on my recollection of facts and in so doing took a giant Shane sized shit all over himself.

Remember when I said that The Brick Squad didn't force people to join the stable only to betray them like The Back Hand?

I said it in my first promo. Do you know why I said that?

Because it mother fucking happened.

Muddy says that Maverick and Goat Face were founding members of the stable. That it was even their idea to form the group.

That's interesting. You know why?

Because that's ain't how it went down.

You see Muddy, I didn't just make this shit up.

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife Said:The two celebrate in the ring as Scully's music plays and they are handed the Tag Team titles.

The Pest walks to the ring, he lifts Justin Sane up by his hair and plants him with a I'm the King of Disorder and moves to Gator stirring on the outside, holding his neck in pain. He grabs Gator and delivers a Black Label Driver before moving to Scully. Scully drops to his knees and looks at Pest.

"Please sir, please don't rape me. Please don't kill me. I'm just a boy!"

Pest:Quiet, Michael. I have come to announce something. You, Michael, and that half dead simpleton, Maverick, will be joining me. Along with two others. You know them as Muddy Waters and Goat face Killa. We will be here, and we will handle what I deem worth handling. For starters, Thunderbolt.

Maybe it's just me, I don't know, maybe that fall fucked me up more than I thought but that sure as shit don't sound like Scully and Maverick wanted to join or form any stables.

What it sounds like is Pest telling those two what they are going to do and neither of them had the balls to stand up for themselves so they just went along for the ride.

I'd love, absolutely love for Muddy to tell me where he got his alternate version of history from because on the surface it just looks like the guy might be even dumber than his tag team partner.

Who is a self outed I might add.

Poor Muddy Waters. I bet that jerkoff actually felt pretty good about himself after that abortion of a promo.

Go ahead come at me bro.

"Really looking forward to seeing what you bring to the table Muddy. I've heard you're pretty good and definitely the best the Black Hand has to offer. Should be a great match."

”Yeah, it should be a great match. Though, not to brag or anything, but whenever the Brick Squad comes out to the ring to do work, it’s guaranteed to be a great match. And maybe, this incarnation of the Black Hand can keep up for a couple of minutes this time.”

Silence. Well, not actually complete silence because somewhere in the chamber there’s a cricket chirping. Chris the Cricket to be precise, a well respected member of the House. He’s pretty excited.

”I know, a bit of a stretch but hey, a man can dream can’t he?”

Just then the doors burst open and in run the security Cruz called forever and a half ago.

”Shit, we gotta go! Seeya ‘round fam. DICK!”

As soon as his name’s called, Dick grabs a handful of smoke pellets from out of his pocket and chucks them down from the balcony. The whole room goes up in the dankest of smoke and by the time it dissipates, the Brick Squad is long gone.