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Dick Powers · (03-30-2015)

~Y'all ready for Dick!?~

My penis is rock hard...

Must mean it's morning.

I open my eyes to the harsh sunlight peeking through the glass doors leading to the balcony and sit up with a smile, throwing the Egyptian cotton that once consumed me away from my lean naked body. I step away from my king sized bed and stretch, cracking my back and yawning, I start to walk across the soft cream carpet to the bathroom, but I catch myself in the mirror and admire my form, and my penis, for a full unadulterated 10 minutes. Fuck me I am incredible. Around 10 minutes and 22 seconds pass when I notice something in the reflection pass my raging member, it looks like a full camera crew. Yes, that is indeed a full camera crew. I give the handsome bastard staring back at me in the mirror a wink and turn to the crew who have interrupted my morning routine. I'm still rock hard, does that make me gay?

"Can I help you?" I say with a grin on my face, staring at the 4 unattractive men in my fuck chamber. They look at my penis, which is slowly going down to half bone, guess that means I'm not gay. Haha, it's 7am and I've proved that I'm still straight, chalk that up as one success out of many today.

"Erm, we're here with the XWF." The man who seems to be doing nothing apart from staring at my naked body answers me. "You should really ignore us."

"I never ignore anyway in my boudoir but if you insist." I nod to the XWF gentlemen and enter the en suite bathroom. Precisely 6 seconds later I walk back out wearing my favorite leopard skin robe. It feels like I'm engulfed in hot pussy, and I fucking love it. "Pardon me gentleman, let me give you the tour." I walk passed the camera crew and motion them to follow. They do as expected.

I go out into the hall and walk down the large staircase, taking a left at my welcoming marble water feature of myself spewing water from my mouth, the statue of me is naked of course, true to my nature. I enter the kitchen slash bar area and see my good friend and manager Riley Reed, reading a newspaper of all things. Ha! These British dudes and their outdated sources of information. Haha, read. Reed. Reeding.

"Reeding again Riley?" I look back at the camera, smiling widely from that amazing joke. I turn back to Riley who throws down the paper and looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Dick. HAHA! That joke never gets old. Want a drink?" Riley moves to the fridge as I take a seat on one of several ivory carved bar stools at the bar.

"Martini please Riley." Riley stops at the selection of fine drinks and looks right at me. Eyebrow still raised.

"Martini Dick? It's 7:13 in the morning." I take in what Riley says, he always knows what's best for me.

"You're right Riley. Bloody Mary then."

"Good chap." Riley smiles at me and turns back to the alcohol, taking out bottles and going into the mini fridge. Riley Reed has always been there for me, ever since I went out on the road to fulfill my career as a rockstar. Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm a fucking rockstar. Multi-Platinum in fact. Riley managed a few bands back in the eighties, he found me performing at a small bar in LA and saw I had potential. From that point on he's made me a star, with his help I moved from the dive bars to selling out arenas. Touring around the world and becoming an international sex symbol. He's the full package Riley, politeness and respectfulness of an upper lip British gent with the rude pushy arrogance of an American, and the cheek bones of a Greek dude in a frozen yogurt commercial. Riley finishes mixing my drink and hands me the Bloody Mary. I take a sip. Perfection. Usually I like a Mary when they're not bleeding if you know what I mean, but Riley's outdone himself with this drink.

"Perfect as always Riley my man." I take another sip, enjoying every moment the liquid is in my mouth.

"You flatter me Dick, now what's all this Wrestling malarkey? Malarkey. Brits make me laugh. "I saw on TMZ you're having a match against a man called John Black."

"I am! And it's just something I want to do Riley, ever since I was a little kid, watching Macho Man Randy Savage go up against guys like The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan, it's been a dream to compete like those men. Also, did you know wrestlers are swimming in pussy? If I win a title I wouldn't have to leave the house anymore, the girls would come to me. Then I come on the girls." I do a cool thing with my eyebrows and go back to my drink.

"I see Dick. But this could be trouble for you, and even me and my perfect cheekbones can't save you if you cock it all up." I'm offended by Riley's lack of confidence in me, but I don't let it show. I'm better than that.

"Fuck you Riley you fat fuck!" Cool as a cucumber. Cool as this chilled Bloody Mary, by god Riley is some kind of wizard.

"Sorry to offend you Dick." Damn he saw right through me. He's good. "I'm just trying to be honest. Wrestling can be tough, puts a lot of strain on you. You may not be able to balance the world of a professional sports entertainer and an on stage entertainer." Riley makes a good point, but I'll be okay. I've been through worse, no one needs to remind me of the leather pants incident in 06. If I can survive that, I can survive anything. Besides...

"Wrestling's fake." Riley looks at me in anger and slaps the Dick right out of my Powers. I'm stunned to say the least.

"Dick, saying that is making a mockery of the men you're going to fight with and against. And trust me, you'll need all the allies you can get. Imagine if someone went up to you and said you lip-sync! That's how these blokes would feel hearing you say that dumb shit." My face is still turned away from Riley, I glare at him from the corner of my eye and spit blood.... Y Mary onto the counter top. Rosa will have to clean that before it stains. I slowly turn to Riley.

"I understand Riley. But if you ever strike me again, mark my words you will feel the power of God crash down upon you." Note to self, write that down for later.

"Sorry to interrupt but the XWF isn't actually fake." The dude who does nothing behind the camera speaks up, me and Riley look at him in confusion.

"Bloody hell when did you get here?" Riley is more confused then me it seems.

"Riley, they followed me in here."

"They did?" I nod at Riley, a little worried about his mental health and or eyes now. "Blow me down! They're bloody ninjas the lot of them." I look back at the crew.

"Sorry, what do you mean XWF isn't fake?"

"It's not fake. Everything the wrestlers do in the ring is real. They hit you, they really hit you. They throw you, they're going to throw you. If they want to hurt you, they will hurt you." ... I hesitate for a moment. Then I take another sip of the Bloody Mary, a long sip. Slamming the tall glass onto a coaster. What? I'm not a Neanderthal.

"Not fake you say. Hmm." I'm in a Dick load of trouble.

"Well then. Bully!" Bully? "Looks like you're going to have to train up Dick." Ugh training?

"Riley, I'm already the picture of perfection, and this is me when I wake up in the morning. I haven't even had my morning Irish coffee yet!"

"That may be so, but you're chiseled good looks, rock hard abs and hair like a lion's man will only get you so far."

"Reed." I pause for dramatic effect. "Remember what you said to me when I had no muscles, when my hair wasn't a wild mess of pure masculine sexitude and hairspray? That night in LA when you first saw me. Remember what you said to me?" Riley smiles and lets out an exasperated sigh.

"You're gonna go far kid."

"You're gonna go far kid! This is that moment in LA, I will be the best damn athlete I can be because Dick Powers doesn't know any other way to do things. Fuck training. We're going to go out and party dude!" Riley and I simultaneously shout "YEAH!" And high five over the bar. As I smile, content with getting out of training, Riley puts his straight face back on and points at me.

"No." No? The fuck!? "I'm not letting my star get his butt kicked in the ring by some fat, overweight filthy golliwog." Is that racist? "I'm getting you some help."

"So what? You gonna hire me some MMA badass to train me up?"

"Better. I know wrestling Dick, it's not so different from being a musical artist. Lyrics are the best thing you have, we can write hit songs, but you need something with a punch for your smack talk." Oh, I'm picking up what Riley's putting down. Trash talk is the key to going far, just like sexy lyrics. Riley looks directly pass me at the camera, I turn with him. Confused as all kinds of fuck. "Ladies and gentleman, please welcome hip hop star sensation. Monkey Flip!" Riley throws his arm to the door that enters to my personal movie theater and starts to clap, along with the crew... And myself. Why am I clapping? Then out walks Monkey Flip, waving to the camera and shaking Riley's hand, standing next to him at the bar. The fuck is going on?

"Thanks for joining us Mr. Flip."

"My pleasure dog. Sup Dick." Flip nods to me, I nod back.

"Hey Flip, good to see you again man." I've known Monkey Flip for a year or two now. He rapped on a few of my songs including my aggressive club anthem 'I better see dem titties shaking girl' and he also did the hook on my romantic pirate themed love ballad 'Walk the plank and dive into my love.' They did well in the charts. He's a good rapper, nice dude too.

"So Flip. I was wondering if you could help out our friend Dick here with some smack tak, you know since you're an artist with dissing fools." That sounded weird coming from Riley. Flip chuckles.

"Cha ha ha. Don't say shit like that man. Anyways Dick bro. You need to use all that talent you got and focus it on this lame nigga you're up against, like just hurt this fool man. Diss his clothes, his big bald head, dem stupid fucking glasses he wears. Anything you can attack, you go head and attack."

"I don't know Flip, all this urban youth talk isn't for me. I'm a lover not a fighter."

"Then why are you going to be a wrestler?" Smart ass.

"It's a phrase Riley, gah."

"Well you gonna have to become a fighter man. I did growing up in fucking Compton."

"You're from Maine."

"Nigga shut the fuck up when I'm trying to help you." Flip seems angry. No need for the rudeness, coming into my home while I'm enjoying my breakfast, telling me that I need to be ruthless and shit. Pssh, does this kid know who I am? Dick Powers! The fucking superstar of sex! I take him under my wing into stardom and he thinks he can push me around and tell me how to act, ungrateful little nig"Girls always dig that shit."

"Sorry what was that? I zoned out for minute." Flip sighs.

"I was saying you need to be a complete asshole to this dude, backhand everything he says and does. Like how chicks love bad guys that treat em bad and talk shit to their faces. Girls always dig that shit."

"Oh, so you're saying I should treat him like a preppy bitch."

"Yeah man!"

"Oh sweet, that's easy. Thanks Flip."

"Anytime cuz." Flip offers me a bro fist kinda deal and I accept. I feel pretty cool right now.

"Alright then, we'll pick this up later. Right now though, let's party!" I drink the remainder of my Bloody Mary and Riley takes as many bottles as he can carry from the shelf. Monkey Flip takes a small remote from the counter and turns on the surround sound speaker system, blasting 'Tipsy' by J-Kwon all around the mansion. Several lovely black girls with big ol' booties come from my home theater. Making me wonder if there's some Narnia like door in there that leads to the hood. We all dance, drink and sing as the the girls drop down and get their eagle on. Ha ha!! It's good to be Dick!

~fin~

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