We're only one day away from John Madison taking the crown at Wembley Stadium. One day until John Madison takes the crown and throws it on Shane 's head just out of humiliation. Sort of how when England won that trophy and the Brits took credit-- oh fuck it, just ask Neonero about it. He can go on about that shit for days. Actually, it's perfect that Neonero went into that little story of his because just like how all of Great Britain took credit for England's accomplishment, Shane will be the one who takes credit for John Madison's destructive behavior on Sunday. Only, I'm not going to be a big baby about it. I actually cannot wait to walk in, break shit, walk out, and let clean it all up again. And just like how the stadium was reduced to ashes, XWF will suffer the same fate. Many careers will be demolish just like they were at War Games, and Shane will have to rebuild.

We want the old Mad Man!

The old John Madison. Wow, a new take on John Madison which is just as flawed as all of the others.


"Old."


Is that what the other half of the audience wants to see? Do they want to see my old self go to war with Shane and his company? Perhaps I'll just go into my backyard and drag my feet through some mud so that when I'm stepping all over your heads it will feel like 2012 again. It's too bad I'm not in the business of appeasing you fucking morons. Hey Nero, maybe if you pray for rain hard enough, I'll take you out back and smother your face into the ground to fulfill that little fantasy of yours. You want "old" John Madison? Go watch the fucking tapes. I provided access to them in one of my previous promos. Go pick up a tape of John Madison from 2012 and pleasure yourself to it. Go put XWF War Games on a continuous loop on every TV of your house and pray that one day you can accomplish that kind of destruction.


Or better yet-- just tune in this Sunday when I do exactly that at Wembley Stadium.


What else can I say about Neonero? Am I supposed to make some wise crack at England like I give a flying fuck? Is that the type of shit that sends him off into some fiery tirade nowadays?




For those of you who don't own an X-Box Live Gold membership and a headset, those cute acronyms stand for "Good game, No rematch." Yeah, this idiot is actually going around saying this like he just landed on a pile of Elf shit in World of Warcraft.


You've got to be fucking kidding me. How do I even address such ridiculous, utterly pointless statements? Do I laugh at him? Am I supposed to take it serious? Where does this moron think he is? A Korean fucking Starcraft tournament? Oh for fucks sake, please don't take that literally and actually go to a Starcraft tournament as your rebuttal. Actually, go ahead and do it, it might make me chuckle a few times. At least then you will have served some purpose in this Gauntlet.


And this is the same guy who tells me that the new John Madison doesn't quite match up to the old.


This is coming from a guy who lost the XWF's b-show title to Jeff Hardy. Wow, if there ever was a time to not give a shit about the European Championship, it's now. You can have that shit, Neonero, just like Mark Flynn can keep his foot planted in the middle of the puddle that they call Wednesday Warfare.


Face it; my new act holds up well to the old John Madison of 2012. Since apparently I'm talking to a gamer, and not a wrestler, maybe I should break it down into terms that Neonero will understand,


2013 John Madison:

Same flawless game engine as 2012.
Same sleek mechanics and game design.
Updated graphics.
Same replay value.


Do you understand now, Neonero? Do you understand how stupid you sound when you try to tell me that the fluids you tasted in 2012 tastes different from the ones in 2013?


Lose the game controller, Neonero. It won't help you against me, and it certainly won't bring you a proper game ending at Gauntlet City. Trade in that joystick for a bullet proof vest and pray that you make it out alive. Pray that on Sunday, John Madison only puts a bullet in your thigh and lets you wobble through the forest.


Go ahead, bring up our previous matches. All of them. Do it; I want you to. If any of those losses bothered me, I would've left a long time ago and might have sent in someone with a mask. A.K.A. -- Sid Feder and Mister Mystery. Because that's what butt hurt little men do; they run, hide, and wear a mask to deal with their problems.


It's times like these where I wish I actually cared enough to pick up one of those briefcases just so I can take the European Title from Neonero and put it where it belongs-- the garbage bin.





The garbage bin-- where our scene picks up as John Madison throws away his lunch. He had just finished getting through the airport security line where the guards told him that he couldn't bring a Flo Kwann's severed head as his carry on. However, they did allow him to check in John Black as a pet. Yes, John Black would have to ride out the flight to London, England in a pet carrier in the belly of the aircraft. Poor Black; rumor has it Gauntlet City might be his last match for a while. I guess that means there's no escaping John Madison's leash for him.


John Madison takes a seat in the waiting area where NAZI and Sebastian Duke are relaxing. Sebastian Duke is still Goth looking as fuck with those tattoos he got out of a gumball machine. He rests in the chair with head back and eyes closed. Then there's NAZI. NAZI is still looking like a man in search of world domination; black trench coat, death stare, and of course the Kraut has a cigarette in his mouth.


John Madison decides it's best if he confronts NAZI about his nasty habit.


"There's no smoking allowed in these facilities, Adolph. Do you really have to live up to your name 24/7?"


"John, please. I can't do this right now."


"Hey, we already got eyes on us for that little stunt we pulled with the Glock and the severed Flo head. Hey Flo!"


"We?" repeats NAZI as he becomes defensive. "We didn't do shit. You are the one who brought the head and of course, the Glock, into the airport, John. Just like you're the one who killed that cop, you're the one who almost killed Duke, you're the one who caused Flo-- I mean Linn Kwann's-- death, and you're the one who got into a twenty minute debate with the security officer over whether or not carrying a Glock and a severed head onto an aircraft was a security risk!"


"I had a good point in that debate though-"


"No you didn't!" yells NAZI as he stands up and throws his half-finished cigarette into the floor. "You just wasted everyone's time."


John Madison looks down at the cigarette.


"Holy shit, Adolph! You just threw that cigarette down on the floor. What do you think this is, your fucking ash tray? You think you can just make everything into an ashtray like this is Nazi Germany all over again?"


NAZI gives John Madison his deadliest of all stares. The same stare he gave John when he turned his Glock on him.


"I'm just fucking with you, Adolph. I'll take care of it for you."


John Madison gets out of his chair picks up the cigarette that NAZI tossed on the ground. He takes a drag from it as he walks over to where Duke is sleeping with his head tilted back and his mouth wide open. John Madison then holds the still lit cigarette over Sebastian Duke's open mouth.


"Don't," warns NAZI. "I will not pull him off of you this time."


John Madison gives off a smile as he releases the cigarette into Sebastian Duke's mouth.

Sebastian Duke jumps to his feet!


Cough Cough!


Cough!


Cough!


Aaaargh...


Duke chokes on the cigarette for a couple of seconds, but finally is able to spit it out...


"What the fuck?!" he yells while going after John Madison.


Duke tackles Madison to the ground while NAZI just looks on.


"That's it Duke!" Madison cheers while Duke mounts on top of him "Show me what you're gonna do to them on Sunday night!"


Duke begins to slams his fist into the face of John Madison who's covering up the best that he can.


"Unleash all that anger!" yells Madison as he willingly takes Duke's attacks.

"Pretend

that

I'm

Mark

Flynn!"


Duke finally just unleashes all that he has on John Madison as his fists break through John's defense. John just looks up and smiles at Duke with blood running through his teeth.


Sebastian Duke probably would have beaten John Madison to his death, and John Madison would have laughed the entire way through, but the airport security showed up just in time to break up the altercation.