"First of all, I want to ask you something. Did you really just say you don't care about the rumbles? Because, I gottta tell ya, that's utter shit. I just did a quick check, you know we can get print outs of each other's promos, right? Yeah. Just go down to the office, or call em, and they can get you a copy. It's awesome for stuff like what I'm about to do. I called Stacy down at the office, you know Stacy? Big Titted black girl, fantastic ass, anyway, I called Stacy and she sent me your transcripts for your first promo with Lane. You spoke pretty intently about the rumble there. 330 words on it. That's definitely caring a little. 330 words out of 1200 words. That is a quarter of your time spent discussing the rumble, and your elimination on Lane. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you have to care about something to address it that much? And then you addressed it again your second promo. And you did 5 fucking promos leading up to it. You did more promos about it than anyone else, and you expect us to believe you don't give a shit about it? For fucking real? Nigga please. You care about the rumble, and you really wanted the Federweight title. But, you knew you fucked up and couldn't beat me for it, so you cried in your closet about it. Cried into your little baby Weeboks. Or, are you finally a big enough boy that you can get real Reeboks with real laces?
Go to fucking bed, kid. It's way passed your bed time. Especially if your ass is dreaming thinking you're better than I am. We already saw Austin vs Frodo round 1. Round 2 will go the same. And then, round 2 for me in the Tournament? Won't fucking matter. But, hey, you want to talk about me bragging about something likened to a title you literally blasted all over your XWF page, right? Or, did you forget about it. You were all excited about being the last HMW champion. Remember that? Yeah, we do. And you wanna know about my reign as the HMW champ, the reign I don't even discuss, but you brought up the title. I fucking traded it for a bag of crack. You were boasting about holding something I honestly valued less than drugs. And you're telling me the Federweight title, a title you went for, by the way, is worthless, now? Is it because you didn't win it? Because, that's what I'm getting from it. You're acting like a child, excuse me, acting like the child you are, by claiming this shit doesn't matter because you lost. Do you want to take the Xbox controller go home and tell us how we cheated? Because you're being that kid. Really are. It's ok, though, mijo. I'm here to remind you of your place, and you're making it easier on me.
Austin, why would I want to be you? You've got literally nothing to offer me. Oh, you have a best friend who goes places with you? I do, too. Mine is named Crack, and he's actually fucking useful. Not just a bumbling idiot. You have a girlfriend? Oh, I have a wife. You have your girlfriend's kid brother? I have two kids of my own. And I've buried my brother in law's head in the sand. Because he works for Apple. You drive around in some sort of piece of shit Aussie Mobile? I have a 1969 Chevrolet Yank Camaro. Google that shit, it's fucking nice. I also have grandkids on the way. So, what is it that you could possibly have that I don't? A win over Ghost Tank? Nope. Did that. And I did it when Tank was at his prime, not when he was on his decline. Let's see, a humiliating loss to Doc? Nope, don't want that. My loss to Doc was not humiliating. Yours was. Your spot in the Alliance? Why? I left the Alliance, and do you remember my advice to you? Lose less. What did you do? The fucking opposite. Let me ask you this, honestly. Have you ever won a match win someone who actually put in any effort beforehand? Because, I think a declining Tank was the best opponent you actually beat. But, you're who I aspire to be, right?
Your in ring performance speaks for itself, Austin, right? That's what you said. Well, then you might need to take speech therapy, son. Because your record is not very good. What is it now, 4-10? You're McBride with a different accent. Instead of running guns, you're running the AWE into the ground, right? Jesus, you're honestly just that fucking terrible. And yet, you're persistent in claiming to be the epitome of greatness. Fuck. First we have Maverick claiming to be The Avatar of Perfection, then Swann and his stupid shit, and then you. If you three are perfection and greatness, then the rest of us most be fucking godly. Because, I gotta tell ya, the fucks that you three lost to makes me laugh harder than a mother fucker. But, please tell me how bad I am. Or how bad MacClay is when he is the mother fucker who saved Madness from the hands of Fairfield. Do you remember how Heyman interfered in the match as well? Or, did you pretend that didn't happen, like a spoiled child? No, even if MacClay and Heyman didn't get involved, you would have lost. And do you know why? It's because you're just not good enough. Never were, never will be, and can't even dream about it. No, Austin, make your childish excuses, but you lost. Plain and simple. Just like Knight and Lane said you were going to. Just like you'll lose to me.
It's ok to lose, Austin, I mean, surely you've figured that out by now. Or, do you need another few losses to your record before you realize it? You do need to step up your game, because honestly, I feel bad beating the shit out of a little kid right now. I mean, who says shit like 'You're not even good enough to hang with the likes of me' to someone who has already beaten them? I mean, honestly? That's just the most juvenile bullshit ever. Remember when I threatened to have my kid come down and talk shit to you before? Well, honestly, I think my boy Joey is going to actually cut the trash piece of my next promo for me. He's more at your level. And by the way, dipshit, ebbing means to decline. Or go away from. Talent ebbing away from you means you're getting worse. The talent leaving you. Fucking kids today trying to use words they don't understand. Jesus, kid. I didn't think you could sound anymore . But, then here you go, popping up to disprove me.
Do you know want to talk about lackluster careers? Do you know how long it took me to win my first match? One fucking week. My first win happened my first week here. And I didn't face a nobody, either. Your first win came in after two losses. And one of the people you lost to was someone I'd beaten twice. And then you ducked out of a TV title shot, because you were afraid to lose to Gator, and stupidly thought you could take the title from Doc. Man, kid, you're a fucking pussy. Austin, you've had three title shots, and lost all three of them. And you want to tell me how good you are? Please stop lying to me. I can only take so much bullshit in one sitting. Let me ask you something, kid. How much of your trash talk did you fucking steal from the Defiance Motto? I mean, you, Sane, and Gator, ironically tote it around as if it's some poisoned tipped arrow that's going to pierce my heart and kill me. It's just sad at this point, kiddo. Get a new tag line, and get more skill. Please.
But, listen, Kidz Bop, I'll give you a chance. Go out into the world and prove you're worth a fuck to me. Do you want me to let you in on a secret, Tiger Beat? If you check the viewings for our promos on Madness the 9th, you'd notice something. I get more views. I get more hits on my XWF profile. My Smans buy more merch. I fill seats. You don't. Don't come in and tell me about how you're a better attraction than I am, because it's simply not true. Just like it's not true that you're a better wrestler than I am. And it's not true that you don't care about the rumbles. Austin, you put in more effort for shit, and end up losing. Don't tell me that's not caring, it's all just you trying to hide your shame the best way you think you can. Fucking pathetic, brah. Fucking pathetic."
Frodo, Katie, and Sarah are sitting in the hospital waiting for the doctor to come in and tell them what's up. They're watching some shitty day time soap opera. Katie and Sarah are uninterested, but Frodo is enamored with it. Katie tries to turn the TV off when the doctor comes in. Frodo slaps the remote out of her hands so she cannot. She turns to look at him.
"Why would you do that?"
'I'm watching my stories, girl. Don't make me get the belt. You ain't too old to be turned over my knee."
"Did you just channel grandma?"
"I might have. Let's not talk about it. It's too soon. So, what's up, Doc?"
"Well, Katie, there's good news, and bad news."
"Did you just save a bunch of money on your car insurance?"
"No. I have now, and will always, use Progressive. That's not relevant right now, though."
"Is it Flo? I bet you went to Progressive because of Flo."
"I did. But that's not important. Katie, do you want to know the results of your lab work?"
"Yes. Please."
"It's not twins. We did another ultrasound. You're only having one baby. And, you also do not have any head trauma from the fall."
"What's the bad news?"
"You're severely anemic, and dehydrated. We're going to keep you in for a bit longer, just another day. We're putting you on an iron supplement. I want you to drink a lot more Pedalyte, and eat more meat. Chicken is fine, but Fish is better."
"Eww. Seafood. Seafood is nasty. Do you think I'm some kind of nasty seafood eating Australian?"
"Katie, that's not nice. It's not their fault they're descended from criminals and had to live on a a shitty island as a punishment. Don't be hateful. I mean, no one honestly takes pride in being New Zealand's shit, do they?"
"Uh, hey, my mom is Australian."
"Oh, I'm sorry, honey. It's ok."
"I'm happy with my Aussie Heritage."
"Are you ? Like, factually ]
[b]"No. I'm a Doctor. Why would I be ]
[lightblue][b]"The only other Aussie I ever met was . Do you know Austin Fernando?"
[color=#98FB98]"No. I don't know every Aussie. Why would you think I did?"
"I thought you went to a support group for that horrible illness."
"Ok, I'm going to leave now. Frank isn't the father, by the way."
The doctor then turns and leave the room. Frodo goes back to watching the soap. Sarah turns and looks at Katie. She's all excited, and shit.
"OMIGOD! I'm gonna be a grandma. It's gonna be awesome!"
"Does it bother you, that you'll be a grandma so young?"
"No. Why would it?"
"You're not even thirty."
"Not at all. I'm going to call my mom and tell her. I'm going to be the hottest grandma ever!"
"Hahaha. You're already the hottest step mom."
"You're just saying that so I get your dad to buy you a new car."
"Maybe."
"Hehehe. Hey, listen, girly, we're gonna head out. We'll be back tomorrow. But, I wanna start looking for a new car for you. One that screams bad ass sexy momma."
"All right, love you guys."
"Love you, too, kiddo."
Frodo goes over and hugs Katie. He kisses her on the top of her head. He releases, and Sarah hugs Katie, and kisses her on the forehead. The couple leave the hospital, and head home. Once home, Sarah locks the door behind the, Crack was out at a LAN party, and wasn't expected home until much later. She looks at Frodo, and gives a look. He drops his pants, and she slides out of her dress. They go to the bedroom, and begin fucking like bunnies.
"Put a baby in me, Fred. Make me a mommy!! Oh my god, I want your kid juice swimming in me."
Frodo looks down at Sarah as she thrusts deeper in him.
"Babe, you're the top tonight."
"I know. But I'm fucking myself with the Clone a Willy Dildo you made me. It feels great."
"Ok, then."
Some more thrusts, and Frodo shoots his load all over Sarah's tits.