The rage.

The unpredictable.

The loose cannon.

He's finally come back!

Oh my goodness.

The psychopath is back and he says that he's hungry for John Madison's pussy. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Sid, but that wet vag' you're after-- you're not going to find it on John Madison. But if you really want, I can give you the home address to my "whore wife!" Whoops, I don't mean to steal your thunder, Sid. You go ahead and keep talking about how big of whore Flo is! I don't want to steal too much from you.

John Madison loads his Glock and holds it it front of him with a killer look in his eyes. He then opens the waistband of his slacks and takes a peak.

No, I don't have a vagina. But if that kind of thing is what brings you back from the dead-- believing that John Madison has a wet pussy-- then more power to you. Whatever it takes in order for you to muster up the courage to drag your worthless corpse into Johnny's playground. You know what? Maybe I'll even go out of my way to have a sex change just so I know for sure that you and your masked friend show up on Sunday. Maybe I'll just take this Glock and shoot the goods right off of me.That's right; I'm willing to dismember myself if it means humiliating Sid Feder one more time, and killing his goofball friend right in front of him.

You know I'll do it too, Sid. You watched like a caged rat when I speared Flo off of that stage, and you haven't been the same since. On that night, you screamed out loud when you watched this pussy fuck up your world. Tell me again, what's the name of that "whore," you're bringing along? Oh Flo! Oh no, Sid. Don't tell me you feel that way about Flo. Now my brain is really racked! What am I going to do now that Sid Feder is in agreement with me that Flo Feder is a whore? And to top it all off he's got me convinced that I have a wet pussy between my legs! Really, Sid? That's it? What's next, are you going to start calling me John Vagison? Haha, you guys could have at least put in the extra effort to give me a silly name. Your turn.

So what does all this change now that Mister Mystery has cashed in his Sid Feder?

Not a damn thing.

You see, Sid Feder (or even Mister Mystery) is sitting on the exact same platform that Sid was on when I faced him the first time around. Sid Feder knows that he can't keep up with John Madison if he returns as simply the disgruntled husband with a vengeance. No, he has to dress it up a bit. Sort of like how Mister Mystery dresses up the fact that underneath all of his distressed clothing and scary mask is the biggest coward to ever challenge John Madison. This is all just Mister Mystery and Sid Feder playing a game of dress up.

"Look at me Johnny, I'm a kangaroo... or am I? HAHAHA!"

I find it all very entertaining, and I can't wait to see what length these two are willing to go to just to put little old me in my place. Bring the briefcases, bring the vice, bring everything-- I want you two dip shits to try to open me up in front of Wembley Stadium.

It's all pretty exciting actually. It's like watching a play that Mister Mystery and Sid Feder have been rehearsing for months on end. Too bad I can see right through the velvet curtain.

See, Sid Feder has had a while to sit in his basement and practice his next big performance. He probably stood in front of the mirror convincing himself that Flo Feder is indeed a whore. He probably even pissed all over his every memory of her. He embraced the role that he's been cast into as the uncaring husband.

Why? Because those are the depths that I lower grown men like Sid Feder into. And Mister Mystery; don't you dare think that you're off the hook, big guy. Because you're just as desperate for a one up on John Madison as your little friend.

Go ahead and bring your bag of tricks, Mister Mystery. Surprise me! I'll be waiting in the ring with the rest of my The Black Circle pussies. Not a damn thing has changed, Mystery. You bring as many corpses with you as you think you're gonna need in order to bring me down.

That goes for all of you Shitheads who are in this show, even my The Black Circle minions. Bring all of your friends, all of your alter egos, all of your briefcases, and all the fight that you've got in you. Keep convincing yourselves that every trick up your sleeve will help you beat me.

Mister Mystery; it's ironic because there's nothing really mysterious about him. He's about as mysterious as your local magician doing shows for a Kindergarten class.

Magic; I was never really a fan of magic. I'm more of a what you see is what you get kind of guy. Sure, I'll give a round of applause for those who partake in this activity, but I see right through it all. This Sunday, Sid, Mystery, and other Shitheads are going to throw every trick in the book at me. It's how it's always worked. They try to deceive me so that they can have the last laugh. I, on the hand, don't have any tricks up my sleeve. I don't have some hidden agenda. I come out every week and tell you everything sick, twisted act that I have planned, and you're left with the uneasy feeling of knowing what's about to go down. I have no tricks up my sleeve for you, Mystery. You've just got John Madison and his stage.

I fully expect Mister Mystery to go all out with his tomfoolery and surprises because that's the only thing Mystery can do at this point. I'm sure he's got more bunnies to pull out of his hat, but none of that will matter when he's facing me.

Now, onto another subject...





Oh wow, we're back to this again? The Blood Lust? Hold on, let me put my 2012 goggles on so that I can take Unknown Soldier serious for about a minute.

John Madison mimes out the act of him pulling goggles over his eyes.

Here we go. Give me a second to zone in.

.....

........

.............

........

.....

OH SHIT! That is scary. I'm seeing a lot of crazy shit with these 2012 goggles. Potatoes, Tax, Zydeco, that *other* promotion... Oh look! There is Unknown Soldier. He's... he's doing exactly what he's doing in 2013! Wow! Who would have thought?

John Madison removes the "goggles."

Well that was fun.

So The Blood Lust; a list of victims whose blood that Unknown Soldier wants to spill/drink/bathe in. Luckily for me, I have the honor of being put on this list every two weeks.

And it feels like I've had this little dot on my back for....

Nine months now?

Sheesh, you'd think this guy would have already delivered by now. But he's never even come close. Never.

You'll always come up short Soldier. I used to think that these threats of yours might be something for me to take serious. But as time went on I realized that all you're capable of doing is talking about how you're going to spill my blood.

It's perfect actually because Mystery and Feder are the exact same way. And I think it's very telling that a guy who's infamously known for being full of shit is having another guy who's just as full of shit picking out his next Blood Lust victim.

"It's time to bleed Johnny."

"I'm going to drink your Johnny."

Sure you will, Soldier. Just like my assault victims; you'll claw, bite, and pull my hair. You'll have John Madison's DNA under your fingernails, but that will be the extent of any damage you inflict upon me. That DNA will be the only clue they find when the examiners look over your corpse.

What else can I say, Soldier?

You're a man (or demon, whatever you prefer to be called) who I really can't talk down to because you've conveniently put yourself below me. It would be kind of like me insulting an ant by calling it twenty different variations of the word tiny.

I can say and do anything I want to you, can't I Soldier? That's your thing; you don't have a care in the world when it comes to how far your opponents are willing to humiliate you in the ring. I could have a scat filled orgy with you, the Queen, and a goat in front of Wembley stadium and it wouldn't make a difference to you. I can respect that; you're a man without a care in the world.

But unfortunately that lumps you into the same category as Cyren and Blair Sully. You see, I could treat them just as I treat you and they'll simply hang their tongues out of their mouths and ask for more. It's cute, but I have no use for engaging in long term feuds with people like that. It would be like me feuding with a crappier version of myself because let's face it; you and Cyren can't hang with John Madison. You two bums can't hang with John Madison on the mic, you can't hang with John Madison in the ring, and the two of you certainly cannot be as cruel and disgusting as John Madison. All you guys can do is talk, talk, and talk.

What do you want me to say?

It's been nine months, Soldier. And what have you pulled on me since then? Oh you're a former big shot US Champion? I don't care. I'm above the United States Championship, and that little priority list of yours is proof of it. Mister Mystery reaching into his bag of tricks is further proof of that little fact. I haven't won a damn thing in this dump and you're all feeding me your best shit. You're ignoring the North Korean and United States Champion for a guy who hasn't accomplished anything! You'll talk and talk, just like Mystery over there in the corner, but it won't be enough come Sunday.

Soldier, you're a modern day Cyren. You're glory days are over, your act is tiresome, and nobody is watching anymore. They changed the channel to John Madison's Shove-It Saturday because I offer something that's sicker and better. Talent is flocking to the show that stars John Madison and The Black Circle. And let's talk truth; Unknown Soldier and Cyren are lost in the shuffle on John Madison's perverted show. They're just two marginal performers caught up in the middle of the most gruesome orgy to ever be seen on television.

Eight months ago? Sure, men like Unknown Soldier, Cyren, and Blair Sully might have turned some heads and make people say, "Well gosh, I didn't expect that to happen." But times have changed, boys. XWF has progressed. We've evolved into the product of John Madison's sick imagination.

Not Soldier's Shove It.

Not Donathan's Shove It.

It's not even Shane 's Shove It.

It's mine. All of it is mine and I take credit for making something that outshines all of your silly shenanigans. I'm the reason for Cyren's lack of imagination these days. I'm the reason that he'll never shock us the way he could one year ago.

Welcome to the new XWF, Unknown Soldier. Welcome to a world where you can be Dante Kyllen, Adolph Hitler, or Ted Bundy. Welcome to a world where your act is dry in comparison to everything else that's going on. Soldier- Welcome to a world where your worst fear has come true:

You fit right in.