Sent back to Earth after delivering the woman to Joltinen Queen Gonnerah, Kinwrathi and Andromai find themselves in London, England. Home of the Gauntlet City Pay-Per-View

Shaking off the jitters one gets from the teleportation process, Kinwrathi begins to look for any landmarks to indicate him and his disciple as to what city they are currently in.

"Fucking Gonnerah. Andromai, do you know where we are?"

"I know less than you about Earth!"

"Right. Fuck me, if ever there was a time for Dude McBrodude..."

"Be careful! Rumor is, if you say his name three times in a row he'll appear and ask you for beer money."

The Chieftain awkwardly stares at his disciple. He opens his mouth in an attempt to speak, but closes it and shakes his head dismissively.

"That sounded a lot more clever in my head..."

"I would hope so, Andromai."

By this point, a man approaches the two. There's a distant look in his eyes and he appears to be muttering to himself. His clothes dirty and torn. Both Kinwrathi and Andromai know who he is, but he speaks first in a fast, anxious tone.

"Kinwrathi! ...And that chick disciple that's in looooooooov-"

Blushing, the disciple decides to cut the man off right there.

"Shut up Freshtinshe."

"Aw, look how embarrassed she's getting!"

Freshtinshe, the Joltinen Chieftain of Chaos, Disorder, and Insanity begins to make obscene hand gestures at Kniwrathi and Andromai when the other Chieftain responds interrupts.

"So, what are you doing on Earth? Lock yourself out of whatever you call your lair again?"

"I did no such thing! If you dare insinuate that again, I'll..."

"Turn me into mustard? C'mon man! Get yourself some new threats! I swear I've heard that about 1700 times from you!"

Freshtinshe's face begins to turn red. He lets out an agonized scream and covers said face in his hands. With a defeated sigh, he teleports away from the two, back to his home lair.

"Too fucking weird. I never get used to how strange he is..."

Another man, this one overweight, wanders too close to the already annoyed duo and will soon regret doing so.

He sees the downright disgusting look in the eyes belonging to the two out of this world specimens and increases his pace to a brisk one, when the right foot of the Chieftain knocks him off balance and sends him hard into the ground. He struggles to get to his feet, but Kinwrathi kicks his arm out from under him once again forcing his face to hit the ground.

"Now don't move, or you'll regret it."

Smirking and pulling out her blade, Andromai stares the terrified man in the eyes as he brings his head up to see his attackers. One more attempt at scurrying away causes the disciple to pounce on him, driving her blade deep into the thigh of this unnamed individual.

A sharp scream of pain escapes the mouth of the unfortunate man before his mouth is covered by a damp cloth being shoved damn near down his throat. Andromai slowly pulls the blade out, savoring the pained look on the victim's face. A spurt of crimson blood shoots from the man's leg as the blade of the dagger is finally fully out. The same color crimson covering the blade and dripping down to the handle and the disciple's fingers.

Another thrust of the blade, this time into the protruded stomach of the bloated, disgusting man. With precision that could only be matched by a surgeon, she moves the blade up and down, back and forth, slicing up the organs in the general vicinity of his stomach. The man's eyes appear to be bulging out of his fucking skull as she quickly slides the blade out of one of the massive holes in his abdomen.

"And now, for the grand finale..."

With her hands, the bloodthirsty disciple conjures up another, identical dagger. Kinwrathi pulls the dying man's eyelids as wide open as possible and both daggers plunge into his eye sockets. A swift pull, and the eyeballs pop out, stuck to the points of either blade.

"Your thoughts, master?"

"I'd give it an 8 out of 10."

"Fair enough, I was a little sloppy with the stomach. Just wanted to be sure I cut through all the layers of fat."

Andromai leans into the dead guy's face and pulls open his mouth. The damp cloth remains, caught in his throat. With a cold giggle, she takes the eyeballs off of the points of her daggers and places them on his tongue, then closes his mouth once more.


"A familiar foe.

Two people who speak English a lot worse than I should.

And a lawmaker who has his head so far up his own head he could vividly describe what the inside of his intestines look like.

The others in the Battle Royal for FTW UFO E1999 Championship.

Fitting that the cast of characters turns out like this for a title with such a unique name.

Ronnie Wilkins, we met last week in the main event 5 on 5 tag match. A match that my team won. If memory serves me correctly, I eliminated you from that match after damn near killing you with a legal move. So you can talk all you want about the others embodying a mentality you're apparently so above, but you can't say you lost because of it. I proved how I dominantly eliminated you, that not even two men could roll you back into that ring before you were counted out.

Now don't fret, I don't have a selective memory. I know I was eliminated too at the very same moment. You didn't have anything to do with the elimination so as far as anyone with half a brain is concerned, you proved that you don't have what it takes to stand toe to toe with me. Luckily for you, it's not just us. Although I do admit you will be the most difficult opponent I will have in this match. Don't let that get to your head though.

Ursula Areano, I know the feeling of not being a native English speaker. However I would assume that you would be much better at it than I, for you come from this planet. I do not, and you should be ashamed that I was able to master this language so quickly while you struggle to form the most basic of comprehensible sentences.

You claim, even in defeat to be superior to the two who you lost to? Who are you trying to prove that to, us or yourself? Because as far as I'm concerned, it isn't fooling anyone. You have the dubious distinction of being the stupidest woman I've ever had to deal with! How does it feel you underwhelming, unintelligent, delusional cunt?

A real Queen of stupidity you are.

However, every queen is nothing without her King now isn't she?

Michael Hall. The other completely inept fool who can't even speak his own damn language! At least Ursula has a reason to not speak English well. What's your reason?

Were you dropped on your head as a small child?

Maybe you're repressing a sick childhood memory so hard that you shudder at even speaking the same language of whoever caused it?

Whatever it is, it makes you look fucking adorable.

Last week, Ronnie had nothing interesting to say except for now proven empty threats.

At least he managed to string his words together well enough to form actual sentences. The only thing I remember you saying is, and I quote, 'Get Ready XWF get Ready Samuels your in Cause Your In The Of The Tiger.'

In the what of the tiger? How is this guy employed and not in an adult daycare center?

Last and certainly least, The Senator. The UFO FTW Whatever the fuck champion. A real American patriot if I ever saw one. A prime example as to why other countries hate your country's pitiful existence. What a cunt he is, but don't get me started on his cumslut Representative Fairchild.

Now i don't follow your laws, I'm not one of you.

Tell me this though, how does this make you feel Mr. Samuels?"

The Chieftain pulls out a pocket sized edition of the Bible. Out of a pocket on the cloak he is wearing comes a lighter with a bald eagle design. After one spark, a flame appears on the tip which is then pressed to the miniature edition of the Holy Scriptures. It immediately goes up in flames as he drops the flaming bible and lighter to ground.

"Does it get you angry?"