Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

**Vincent Lane** · **10-23-2014, 07:56 PM** "Loverboy" - Moment of Zen -->

Did you five fucktards think I would let this week come to a close without giving you a final thought to tide you over ‘til our date at War Games?

Lucky for you, I did just get off a long ass flight back to the greatest country in the world, the United States of motherfuckin’ America, so I’m a little jetlagged and plan on keeping things short and sweet. You know, like Simon, only if he were stuffed full of candy bars and dipped in honey first.

Not like there’s much left to say anyway, dudes… Team Pest has pretty much given the fuck up, haven’t they? I mean, the little gay porn actor Simon is still flapping his lips, but it’s nothing more than background noise at this point. Seriously, the little fuck just repeats himself over and over again, and then goes on to anyone who’ll listen about how great he is at tearing people down verbally. Dude, the last time I saw someone patting himself on the back as hard as Simon does, he was choking on a chicken bone at Ruby Tuesday’s. Shit, I guess now that I think about it, it might have been Scully… he’s been taking lessons from Simon in every other fucking way, so why not? Although it seems like it was that poor white trash waitress who spent the night choking on a chicken bone, huh? Then he invites Simon over to prove he’s no longer a virgin, and to teach him how to shit talk like a man? Pathetic, dude. Good lessons, right? Call me a tranny or some shit, yeah? What a mouthful of bullshit. The whole world sees me on camera every fucking week, but Simon wants to try and convince everyone I’m a fat ass who looks like an ugly woman. Dude. I’m on TV. On TV fucking chicks and getting head from sluts fifty times hotter than your little waitress with daddy issues, on TV kicking ass in the ring and obviously being in perfect athletic shape. Who the hell are you going to convince I’m fat or gay when all they have to do is look at me to see otherwise?

What are you gonna go after next, huh? My hair? You’re right, man, it’s gorgeous and long. There’s actually a ton of chicks who wish they had hair like mine. Do I think that’s an insult? Fuck no! Anything that gets bitches on my lap is a good thing, and I guarantee you there are more chicks out there that wanna get fucked by a long haired rock star than by a hare lipped Brit. Yeah man, it’s just like your new beau Simon says – I prefer the music and styles of the 80s and 90s. So what? You prefer the touch of a man, is anyone holding that against you? I even had a mullet back in the day, I admit it. For a short time I rocked a rattail, too. But my shit was the best looking thing out there, dude, believe that. You think guys like Vince Neil or Axl Rose looked the way they did because it kept them from getting laid? Those motherfuckers were drowning in vagina, just like I have been. You? You had to tip that single mom at least twenty bucks, and I’m thinking she only went with you because she thought she had a shot at John Black’s jungle dick. There’s a reason the worst insult Simon can come up with for me is that he thinks I’m the Scully of my team, man. That’s what your teammate thinks of you. He thinks I’m a worthless, fat shithead, and he thinks I’m comparable to you. I bet you feel awesome being on that guy’s team, huh? By the way, you also realize Maverick only teams with you so that he can finally be around someone worse than him, right? You’re basically the ugly friend that the average girls bring with them everywhere they go so they seem pretty by comparison. Good job, dude.

Speaking of average – where’d that mediocre captain of yours go to, for real? Did he finally get busted knuckle deep in a teenage runaway? Did he jerk off at the wrong prom? How the fuck is a shithead like Simon gonna try and call me a pedo when he’s taking orders from one in this War Games match? Jimmy the Pest hasn’t done shit in the XWF other than lose a bunch of matches, follow me around likea lost puppy dog and wipe Peter Gilmour’s ass for a month. That’s your leader, guys. Shit rolls downhill, and he’s the king of the mountain. Pretty fucking sad that you’re so-called captain barely lifted a finger for you guys all week, huh? Instead he seemed pretty content letting Simon do all the hard work and take the reamings from me and the boys. I’d say Simon was like a human shield, but he’s really more of a dental dam, isn’t he? Keeping the spit off the pussy?

You know, that kinda reminds me of Gilmour. Where has that motherfucker been? Is he still in that library trying to learn how to read? Did he get drunk and forget he was on your team, or did he actually just decide not to bother dealing with you four cunts? I could totally understand if he decided he didn’t want to have his ass handed to him by the same guy twice in one week, so if he blows you all off it won’t surprise me. What WILL surprise me is if either he or SWAT even manage to get a single offensive move executed on any member of Team Masters. If you do come, bring a Z-Pack and some retrovirals, Pete, Zeke owes you some AIDS.

So, guys, seriously, the only real question going into War Games is which member of Team Masters is going to get the pin? I’m pretty sure Gator is gonna KO Simon about thirty seconds into the match. Mastermind can probably take out Scully. Zeke has Pete’s number, for sure. McBride can break SWAT in half. Does that mean I get the honor of reintroducing Pest to the floor? I wonder if I should just pin him and get it over with or if I should submit him again? If I keep dropping him in Black Label Drivers I’ll end up giving him more brain damage, and then he’ll get put in a special needs home. That sounds like a winning idea to me, but I’d feel bad for all the teenaged

he’ll jerk off onto. Man, this really is a tough choice.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Guess you guys’ll have to find out right along with the rest of the world which one of you gets the honor of being on the bottom. Don’t get excited, Simon, I didn’t mean it that way.

Oh, shit, look at the calendar… looks like it’s sooner than later, fuckers.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode "Loverboy" - Moment of Zen
Author	Message