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Monolith · **10-21-2014, 03:17 PM**

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY RAPAPORT INDUSTRIES

Monolith: Seven feet of devastating carnage. Almost five hundred pounds of unadulterated fury. A true mountain of a man. A wrecking ball in human form. He angrily paces back and forth, clearly pre-occupied by an internal rage. He cracks his knuckles aggressively and turns to face the camera...

Those who have followed my career will know that I'm a man of few words. You see, I've always believed that actions speak far louder. That's why I prefer to do my talking in the ring. Crushing puny mortals beneath the might of the Avalanche makes a far greater statement than anything I or anyone else could ever verbalise. I'm usually content to let Daniel Rapaport do the talking for me. I leave him to do the mic work and he leaves me to do the ass kicking! But recent events have forced me to break my silence...

He narrows his eyes with intensity...

You see, it seems that some walking shit sack of irrelevance named Venomous has been running his mouth off about the mighty Monolith. Apparently he's accused me of ignorance. He's accused me of cowardice. And worst of all he's alleged that I, Monolith, am past my best. Well, I've got a question that I'd like to ask this talking piece of scrotal fungus: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME, HUH?! You haven't even set foot inside an XWF ring, Venomous. You're a nobody. An insignificant speck of dirt on the bottom of my shoe. Nothing more than a whiny little punk. Seriously, have you ever considered changing your name to 'Vanonymous'?!

You know you're not the first guy to attempt to cross me, right?. I've encountered fools like you a hundred times before. You step into Monolith's back yard spouting all your tough guy bull shit. You make your empty threats and idle boasts. You want to make an impression so you decide to target the biggest bully in the playground. Well, let me tell you how this story ends, Venomous. Do you know the tale of David and Goliath? Because in the real world David fucking loses! If I had a Euro for each time I've smashed an arrogant little prick like you into oblivion then I'd be an extremely wealthy man. I mean, do you honestly believe that you've got what it takes to bring down the mighty Monolith? Do you honestly believe that you're better than me? Let's face it, Venomous; you literally had to BEG to take part in War Games! 'Oh, um, gee, please pick me! Pretty please? Anybody?' Man, I've never heard anything so goddamn pathetic. Well, apart from the time your bitch girlfriend called up my boy Theo Pryce and pleaded to be taken to his private island. I guess she wanted to be with a high roller, Venomous; a man of class and distinction and not some piece of Mongoloid trash like you! Besides, everybody knows that the only reason you got drafted at all was because Morbid Angel was left with the dregs of the roster to choose from. But judging by his other picks then I guess you fit right in.

Now, for some unknown reason you seem to have an unhealthy obsession with my past. Hopefully that means you've been researching my career in preparation for our match this Friday. But it's more likely to mean that you like to watch tapes of my matches whilst stroking your tiny, ineffectual penis and sticking sharp objects up your stink hole. But whatever the reason, I feel that I need to establish some facts. Yeah, I once had a feud with a snotty kid named Dark Shadow. Yeah, he and his band of feeble misfits once attacked Rapaport Industries with explosives. And yeah, he is the one responsible for banishing me from the XWF for the last few years. But what does it matter, Venomous? Dark Shadow is a goddamn footnote around here. He's gone; faded into obscurity along with all his other embarrassingly inept cronies. But Monolith is still right fucking here! And when the time comes to compile the complete history of the XWF are people really gonna remember a flash in the pan, blink and you'll miss him nobody like Dark Shadow? Or are they gonna remember Monolith; the biggest, baddest son of a bitch to ever step foot in an XWF ring? Come on, Venomous; even a moron like you should be smart enough to figure that one out. In fact, I think I now know why you cling so desperately to the past. It's because deep down inside you realise that you have absolutely no future to look forward to. And this Friday will be the beginning of your demise, Venomous. I'm gonna leave you in a worse state than your Mom's pussy after a night with an entire football team.

But it wasn't just me who was insulted by your cute little rant, Venomous. You touched a nerve with all of Team Pryce when you accused us of lacking commitment. Well, if you wanted to motivate us into tearing you and your new pals limb from limb then you definitely succeeded! Besides, I find it pretty ironic that you would have the balls to criticise my colleagues when you consider who you have in your corner...

First up, Morbid Angel; a man with such delusions of grandeur that he actually believes he is some kind of God. Well, I promise you all that this Friday he's gonna get a painful reminder of his own mortality at the hands of the mighty Monolith. You see, I don't believe in Gods. But I hope for your sake that you're a praying man, Morbid. Because you're gonna need all the divine intervention you can muster when you face us!

Next up, Doctor Louis D'Ville. Now, I don't know about your medical credentials, Louis. But in many ways I suppose that Morbid is fortunate to have you on his team. Not for your wrestling skills. Not for your mic skills. But because you'll all need the attention of a good physician after we're through with you!

LH Harrison, you are perhaps the only member of Team Victory Forever that I possess even the tiniest bit of respect for. You have a solid reputation and admirable skills. In fact, I imagine that you were probably one of the most sought after names in the War Games draft. But unfortunately it all counts for nothing. Because despite all these positive attributes you still find yourself saddled with worthless partners. Shame. Well, if you ever feel like hanging out with some real winners then I'm sure Theo Pryce can find you a position fixing us coffee or carrying our bags. Think about it, Harrison!

Lastly, we have a man who calls himself Maverick. Now, I initially felt sorry for this guy. I mean, it can't be easy for a rough, tough, no-nonsense guy like him to be lumbered with the same name as the lead character from one of the most homo-erotic movies of all time. But then I watched him wrestle. Then I saw his promos. And based on that experience I came to the conclusion that his name was actually completely appropriate! Maverick, why don't you leave the fighting to the real men while you go oil yourself up and play topless volleyball with Val Kilmer, huh?!

Boys, I would like to sign off by sending a message to you all. This Friday, when the smoke has cleared, the dust has settled and Team Pryce is declared victorious you will probably all be scratching your thick skulls wondering 'where did it all go wrong'? And when that happens I want you to know that there is only one man to blame. And his name is Venomous. You see, his words have acted like fuel to the fire that burns within. His words will drive us forward to ultimate victory. You made a mistake when you crossed me, Venomous. A costly mistake. And now the time has come to pay the PRYCE...

THE PRECEDING ANNOUNCEMENT WAS PAID FOR BY RAPAPORT INDUSTRIES

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