"So, I'm going to start this off by asking if I should just start deconstructing things I say so that maybe Gator and his team; yes his team because Mastermind is too incompetent to be considered a leader, will actually be able to do something useful leading up to the event. Just repeat how I just tore my own argument down. Honestly, I'm wondering why Shane asked me to join this team. It seems like they don't need help, unless of course Team Gator has some kind of strength that we've not seen. Because if they fight as well as they argue, I can just sit back and jerk off while my team does the heavy lifting. Of course, I won't do that because I'd get a big old floppy erection by stomping your ass. It's not like it'll be hard, well, that's not hard.
See, Gator, you're so quick to try and pass judgement on shit, throwing up how Todd can do things, but the facts say otherwise. Todd lost to Maverick. Yes, I'm throwing out his real in ring name, and ignoring the fact that he is a liar. Factually, your boy Todd lost a fight to Maverick, and was only carried to his victories by you and Crimson Face. Todd isn't nearly as good as I am. I've yet to actually lose in the ring. I stormed off and walked away, I quit. Todd took a pin. Don't ever try and put your little bitch above anyone when in reality he's below everything. Not only that, but you're not looking so hot either. Seriously, the biggest thing you could possibly say about yourself was that you took the TV title from Steve Davids. Need I remind you how easily Steve Davids is beaten? Let me put it to you this way. Steve Davids only earned his briefcase by being a challenge ducking pussy. He's kind of like you, in that regards. What kind of bitch as champion has to make people pay to face him? Oh, yeah. The kind that knows anyone worth their shit would not pay to fight you. You want these scrubs scrounging around to face you. Fucking joke, man.
Maybe I should hold out on that whole ripping my own promo thing, or speed it up. I'm not sure, since you already just started to steal my fucking words and use them as your own. Not a fucking play back either, you just randomly have someone repeating them in your shit. Son, it'd be better if you used the actual video footage. It'd make you look less like a sad little nut rider. Did Mastermind make room for you down there? Because I know my shit can get a bit crowded what with him swinging from the pubes so heavily. Hey, if you're just gonna be stealing my own words and having someone read em back like it's me, shouldn't you be paying me royalties, or at least giving me writing credits? Because right now, it looks like you're just trying to plagiarise my shit. You taking copy cat to a whole new level, limp dick. I feel sorry for your girl, what's her name? Scarlet. Yeah, I feel sorry for Scarlet, she gotta deal with that tiny cock you try and pass off as impressive because you wrote Frodo's name on it. You disgust me, bruv.
I guess I should really maybe pay attention to things I said and you're taking credit for, though? Right? I mean, that's the practical issue at hand. But, fuck, I don't know if I even want to. Katie, do I have to actually pay attention to this bitch?"
"Yes, now stop talking to me. You're not my dad. You're just some creepy guy using me for voiceovers."
"Fine. Katie says I have to. I already stomped that Todd could do anything shit. But you're saying my Shayouken wasn't impressive because some character in a video game can do it better? Seriously? That's your discrediting of my skill? Not the fact that a Shayouken is just an uppercut and I'm essentially bragging about uppercutting people? No, you go to video game characters being better at it than I am. No shit. I also can't double jump for shit, and I can't shoot fireballs. But, you know, that's never stopped me from being better than you. Ok, so you do mention secondary how it's just uppercutting people. Yes, the move is a simple uppercut. But the impressive part wasn't how intricate the move is. The impressive part was how I caught him perfectly in mid air for it, again with no training. Frodo's only be able to do it once, and he's been doing the Shayouken! for a lot longer than I have. My first day here and I did it flawlessly. That's the impressive part, cocksmith. Wait, you think I'm just randomly yelling at walls? That I'm not actually recording this for you? You're the paying someone to act like a fox to recite my words to you. And the one who spent a week sifting through Where's Wally books. And you dare call anyone's intelligence into play? For fucking real? I have to keep asking this, because I can't tell if you guys are playing some elaborate joke on me or not.
So, I had to look that up, and yeah. You managed to beat Tommy Wish, and raYne. Congrats, you beat the resident Job Squad. I actually didn't know about that match because like most people, I tend to ignore things involving raYne, but brag some more about beating raYne. The didn't actually wrestle, he just pranced around throwing glitter at people, and talking about Callaway. But hey, you want to hold on to that victory. Keep it close to you. Just a reminder, though. Mark Flynn's debut match was also against Tommy Wish. That means in the 19 months between Flynn and you joining, Tommy Wish managed to stay exactly where he's at. You're again, bragging about beating a man who threw glitter at people, and someone who has been kept as an opening act for other people. He's expected to lose, and you're glad to have beat him. Holy fuck sack. Is that a real claim? Pride in not losing to Tommy Wish? Good for you? You know Tommy Wish attacks kids, right? But, you want to insult my match against Aerial Knight. A man who has actually won a match in the federation, again, unlike your first victory that no one remembers.
You're probably also going to brag about beating Mastermind, that's fine. Take that. The man loses almost as much as Tommy Wish, and you're going to brag about beating him. Good for you. I hope you don't decide to mention being drafted first. Because I'd hate to have to remind you that you only got that choice because I was off the official registration. Something tells me you'd have ignored that part of the story, despite it coming from your captain. It's ok, not everyone can as good as I am.
Before I move on to trash on Ezekiel, I should inform you. I didn't steal Frodo's looks, we just happen to look similar. At one point Frodo hired Mc Chris to pretend to be him as well, because they, too bare some resemblance. I admit to having pretending to be Frodo, and I admit I did it at first because I was paid to. Much in the way someone is hired to impersonate a famous character or person at parties and events, see Elvis Impersonators. The difference is, that you actually just stole it because you could not figure out another way to identify yourself. You weren't good at pretending to be a bad ass, so you thought you would pretend to be a mixture of Frodo and Luca. And it turned out to be bad, didn't it? Now, you'll probably come up with a new routine once this match is over. At least you could have the decency to just do what a lot of people do when they lose something. Leave. Go on, be Steve Davids, twice. Be Santos, be Mandii, be Flynn. We all know how you looked at Flynn as an idol. He lost a match and left, you do the same. Go on.
Now, Ezekiel. I didn't pussy up and ignore you. I ignored you because you said nothing relevant. I mean, claiming you challenged a man who isn't even here, and that he ran away from it? No. You made the challenge known one time. Right before you lost to your AIDs the first time. Almost immediately after the challenge was made, he was enslaved to NAZI, and then stabbed. Recall? By the time he had come back from being 'dead', you had already disappeared. Only to come back for one match, tuck tail and run off again. You could be called the coward, not him, nor I. But, if you want the man one on one, I'll be your huckleberry. And you still won't win. Because you're not a winner. You're a loser, so why don't you kill yourself? I mean, you can buried with Nancy out in that forsaken hell hole. The one you buried her in right before getting your shit stomped by a hobbit. ."
It's midnight. Why is the phone ringing? God, who could be calling at this hour? He fumbles for it. slides up, and hits talk.
"Hello?"
"Sup, Sonny. Got a question for you."
"Urgh. Dad. You're in the next room over. I could hear you and mom. Why are you calling me?"
"Mine's more important. I'll answer yours after you answer mine."
"Fine. What is it?"
"Why the fuck did you attack your sister, and try and rape her?"
"I didn't."
"Either she's a liar, or you are. And her panic seemed sincere. So, I ask again. Why did you attack and try to rape your sister?"
"I attacked her. I didn't try and rape her. I wouldn't rape her, dad."
"Why did you attack her?"
"You love her more. You bought her a Miata. You bought her a puppy. She lives with you. She runs your business, and mom said she's getting some of the businesses when she graduates college."
"Yeah, she got a car, and lives with me, and gets the businesses. But guess what? When you turn 16 you'll get a car, that you're picking out. You get businesses when you hit 18. Your mother and I have spoken about you living with me. She doesn't want to let you move in with me. She wants you with her, so she's not alone. I respect her decision, Joey. You're my son, and I love you. When you turn 18, if you want to live with me, you can. If your mother thinks it's fine to let you move in, I always have room. And I don't remember buying her a puppy. Mostly because I'm still in Belize. I never came home. That guy that's with your mom? Not me. I dunno what's up, but a Code Pachinko is in play."
Joseph-Gordon sat upright, fully awake at this point.
"Pachinko? For real? Fuck..."
"Don't swear, or I'm Keyboarding you when I get back."
"Sorry. But, do Uncle Swag, Mom, and Uncle Crack know?"
"Your uncles know. Not your mother. I'm not telling her right now. I don't want her to think this is some elaborate joke. Crack is looking into it for me. Uncle Charles doesn't believe it. Now, go back to bed. If you need it, Sarah will sing you a lullaby."
"No, I'm good. Night, Dad."
Frodo didn't hear it and had already passed the phone to Sarah.
strength that we've not seen. Because if they fight as well as they argue, I can just sit back and jerk off while my team does the heavy lifting. Of course, I won't do that because I'd get a big old floppy erection by stomping your ass. It's not like it'll be hard, well, ![[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/ZXX7HJw.png?1)
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