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RealSovietDamage · (09-23-2014)

-Helicopter camera pans over the empire state building, before zooming in on Real Soviet Damage in an expensive black suit holding a microphone-

"USA! What a nice place it is! Full of sweet smelling american pie, burgers, fries, hot dogs, lucky charms, Hershey's, pop tarts, pancakes and type 2 diabetes! I'm surprised that you, Brian James have emerged unscathed from the american epidemic that is... obesity. Here in Russia we have a community, Great achievements in Literature, Art, Sciences, Technology, Music, Theatre, Huge amounts of oil and natural gas. the most beautiful women in the world- I COULD GO ON! While all you have is fatty foods and a piece of shit corrupt government/cops! Look at me..."

-the camera zooms in on Real Soviet Damage with an angry look on his face-

"...Olympic... Gold... Medallist can you say the same? Can you say the same Brian because just as that little fat farmer Dwight Schrute pointed out... you are nothing. Haha... you are nothing and will not ever be ANYTHING! You pointed that out perfectly, you are the underdog. Nobody expects you to win because you are pathetic, just like this corrupt country. People predict me to win. They may want Dwight to win because they find him hilarious but they don't actually think he will win. Who voted for you Brian? WHO? Exactly. Nobody."

-He pauses, staring down at the busy streets below, taking a deep breath-

"You also compared me to Kurt Angle. The one american I look up to, a tremendous athlete despite being from USA. "The success rate of Gold Medallists in pro wrestling is fleeting"? Name one person other than Kurt Angle who has made that jump then? Huh? I'm listening...? Exactly... NOBODY ELSE has transferred from being a Gold Medallist Athlete into pro wrestling you fucking idiot. Kurt Angle at the start of his pro wrestling career won numerous titles, as you said. That is exactly what I'm going to do too. You know what else I'm going to do too? I'm gonna kick the living crap outta you!"

-The Helicopter flies close to where Fedor is talking and hovers there for him to get inside-

"However, this may be a hardcore match but it isn't as near as brutal as I want it to be. I too invite you to a shoot match if you have the balls to accept. I'll also add a stipulation! If you lose, which you will... you will have to sing the russian national anthem while waving the flag. If I somehow lose, I will do the same and sing this stupid country's national anthem. I and the rest of the locker room will be looking forward to you losing tomorrow, just as predicted. Oh! I almost forgot!"

-He pulls out the american flag with a burger drawn on it. He waves it around for a few seconds before snapping it on his knee and chucking it out the helicopter-

"See you on Warefare Brian. Don't forget to be prepared for the-"

"REAL SOVIET DAMAGE!"

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