((Early Monday morning, September 22nd, 2014. The scene is not the interior of a hotel room as it was the last time we checked in with “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane, but instead the wet urban streets as a pre-dawn rain cascades across the cityscape. As it is the city that never sleeps, many pedestrians as well as fairly heavy street traffic is still present. Mostly taxis, as usual, drive through wet, shining roadways of black as the first fingers of sunlight struggle against the massive skyline surrounding the innermost sanctum of nature and freedom in the wrought iron fence of city life – Central Park.))






((As the crisp wind snap the thinnest branches back and forth in the driving rain, “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane jogs across a path to one of the stone bridges in the park. Clad only in his trusty white boxer shorts covered in comically large red hearts and his lucky silver wrestling boots, Loverboy splashes through the puddles as the water flows across his chilled skin and pours in tributaries from his wild, blond hair. He seems to be looking for something.))

Loverboy: Sasha! Sasha? Baby where did you go?

((Finding nothing under the bridge, Loverboy run across to a copse of trees, spreading the underbrush and looking back and forth through the haze of rain. Again not finding anything, he returns to the path and wanders further into the park.))

Loverboy: Sasha… sweetie, come on, this isn’t cool, man… it’s been, like, an hour… do you need more sex, Sasha? I’m good to go again, girl, I swear, just let’s get back to the hotel, okay? We don’t have a lot of time, you know I’ve got to get to Houston by tonight, and I haven’t had any rest at all… come on, man…

((The rain intensifies, and Loverboy seeks refuge beneath the arms of a tall tree, the moss and leaves creating a canopy above him. As he huddles away from the raging downpour, he pulls the boots from his feet and empties them into the mud beneath him, scattering a small pile of twigs and leaves. The skin of his feet have pruned and become pale and soft, and he rubs them into the muddy soil for some relief.))

Loverboy: Jesus Christ, man… this is getting out of control. I’ve got to find this girl and get her set to go back to California so I can get my ass to Houston for Madness. Time to prove that last week in the ring with Luca and Dave Shadows was a fluke, man. Put on a show for that jackass Pest and let him know what he’s got in store for him on Wednesday. But none of that’s going to happen if I don’t find this ridiculous, crazy porno slut right now!

((Thunder claps as Loverboy finishes his statement, waking the sleeping inhabitants of the park to start their new day. Squirrels and birds rustle in the branches and scatter from the fright of the morning storm.))

Excuse me?

((A voice from somewhere in the shadow startles Loverboy to his feet, and he drops his boots into the roots of the tree. Looking around, Loverboy finds a shadow moving toward him in the rain.))

Loverboy: Hello? Is that you, Sasha?

((From the darkness, the form of a police officer emerges. She is stocky and unimpressed with the mostly naked man standing in front of her in the middle of Central Park. Something about the expression on her face suggests she has seen this sort of thing before.))

Officer: Sir… god damn it, first thing in the morning… Sir, why are you out here in your underwear?

((Loverboy, as if he has forgotten his overly exposed state, looks down at himself like it’s the first time he has in hours. Looking back into the eyes of the female officer, he cracks a self-aware smile and attempts to turn on a little charm.))

Loverboy: Oh, hey, baby girl…

Officer: Officer Samuels.

Loverboy: Officer Samuels, baby, look, I’m just trying to find my friend out here, I don’t want to be hiking in the rain like some kind of hippie, man, I swear. I’m a world famous professional athlete, a rock n’ roll star, international sex symbol… I’m sure you recognize me.

Officer: Nope.

Loverboy: Probably just because I don’t have my belts. Like, just picture me with these three, huge, sexy gold belts. They’re a bit, like, gauche or whatever, but they make me look hot. Well, hotter.

Officer: Look, sir, I don’t know who you are and it sounds to me like you’ve probably been drinking, the way you’re going on and on about gold belts and being a rock star…

Loverboy: No, dude, I really am! I’m “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane! From the XWF?

Officer: XWF? The big wrestling company?

Loverboy: Yeah man! Exactly!

Officer: I’m a big fan of Luca Arzegotti.

Loverboy: Are you fucking kidding me? Does everybody love that dude or what? Damn, man. Well, look, officer, I’ve got a match – TONIGHT – in Houston, Texas. I need to find this stupid slut Sasha Grey and get her back to the hotel…

Officer: Wait. Sasha Grey? The porn star? The girl from Entourage?

Loverboy: YES! Her! I’ve been fucking her all week and then she ran off into the park…

Officer: Okay, right, you’re obviously drunk Mister Lane, I need you to step out here and –

((Just then, something large leaps down from the branches of the tree, landing between Loverboy and the cop. The naked, animalistic form of Sasha Grey bares her teeth and hisses at the officer, bending her fingers into talons and staring at her with wild, emotionless eyes. She shoves Loverboy back as the officer pulls the gun from her holster and levels it at Sasha.))

Officer: You stop right there! Do not move! I’m warning you!

((As the officer reaches for the radio clipped to her shoulder, Sasha leap into the air, pouncing toward the officer who unloads a shot into her shoulder just in time to knock her back and away from her assault. Sasha lands in a crumpled heap in the leaves and mud, blood pouring from the wound in her arm, and the roundness of her belly swells and contorts, moving lower in her abdomen.))

Officer: What… the… fuck…

Loverboy: I had the same reaction. It’s weird, right? That’s not normal, man, I told you Sasha!

((Then, in a burst of movement, Sasha Grey’s legs shoot apart from one another just as her crotch explodes into a bloody mess. Sasha leans her head back in a wild scream as something long and serpentine leaps from her vulva and attaches itself to the face and chest of the officer with a mass of coiled, bloody tentacles. The cop is brought to the ground in a struggling heap, and Loverboy grabs Sasha by her unwounded arm.))

Loverboy: Time to get right the fuck on out of here, Sasha! Let’s go man!

((Sasha, finally lucid and free from her possessed state, sees the carnage in front of her and wastes no time getting to her feet and scrambling up the path with Loverboy, who takes just a moment to grab his boots and look back at the pulsating mass of squidlike beast slowly devouring the female police officer.))

Loverboy: I’m so glad I’m sticking to Madness…

((And the two run off into the rain.))