((“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane has put the strange incident involving him seemingly magically starting his rental car without use of the key. Eventually, the GPS and navigation systems started to work again and even the radio began to pick up local stations. Loverboy knew he was getting closer to civilization. After a few minutes of driving, the phone in the center console started playing “Just A Gigolo” by David Lee Roth, Sasha Grey’s ringtone. Loverboy brings the phone to his ear.))

Loverboy: Talk dirty to me.

Sasha: Where the fuck have you been, Vinnie? It’s been hours, I thought you were dead! Or that you left the country with my god damn plane ticket!

Loverboy: Chick, chill out, man! I’m driving straight to the hotel, man, what the fuck are you talking about?

Sasha: Are you kidding me? Vinnie, it’s been six hours. The sun is about to come up.

Loverboy: What? Are you drunk?

((Loverboy looks at the phone’s touch screen quickly – we see a picture of the Trios belts as the background wallpaper.))

Loverboy: It’s not even one a.m., man! And I know the time zone thing applied to my OS because I used it to get to the match on time, remember? After we did that d.p. session with your vibrator?

Sasha: Of course I remember… but your phone’s wrong, Vinnie, it’s seriously almost six. I’m watching “Good Morning Moscow” or some shit. It’s totally jejune. Are you okay?

((Loverboy is silent for a moment, not knowing what to think or say. How could he have lost six hours? A wrong turn into Mongolia? He’d been driving the whole time, other than when he apparently pulled over to piss on the side of the road. Then the weird thing happened, but that was it. The tank of the car was still three quarters full, there’s no way he’d been driving for that long.))

Sasha: Hello? Vinnie??

Loverboy: Yeah. Yeah, man, I’m here. Look I think I’m almost to the hotel. Gimme a few minutes. I gotta figure this out, dude, this is weird shit.

Sasha: You’re scaring the shit out of me, Vinnie, just hurry up. We have a long flight ahead of us.

((Sasha hangs up and there’s a sudden silence on the line. Loverboy drops the cell phone into the chest pocket of his denim jacket, then makes a turn as directed by the voice of the GPS system. Up ahead he can see the Hotel Novotel, and in the East, just as Sasha had told him, the sun had begun its rise into the sky.))




((Suddenly, out of nowhere, an oncoming vehicle swerves right into Loverboy’s lane to avoid a pedestrian who has run out into the street. The car bears down directly in front of Loverboy’s windshield, and the driver merely throws his hands up to cover his face and brace himself for the inevitable collision.))

SCREEEEEECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

((But none comes. Loverboy, in total shock, raises his hands but can’t reach the steering wheel in time – however, the wheel turns anyway, swerving his car at an impossible angle and out of harm’s way. The oncoming vehicle speeds past, just an inch from Loverboy’s fender at most, and crashes into a newspaper kiosk. Loverboy, shaken, opens the car door and stands on shaky legs to take in the scene with some fresh air as a group of passerby gather to gape at the damage. Ahead, the pedestrian who had run into the street and started the entire chain of events is standing with his arms raised into the air, screaming at everyone around him at the top of his lungs. He is clearly yelling in Russian, but somehow, Loverboy seems to know exactly what he is saying. As if the words were translating themselves between the man’s mouth and Loverboy’s ears.))

Man: они были здесь! They came back! I told you they would come back! But they didn’t take me this time I was too smart for them! They were here! The gods in the sky!

((Officers arrive and some move toward the man screaming in the street while others go to the scene of the crash between the car and the newspaper kiosk. The man is dragged away. The driver of the other car is groggily explaining to the police officers the unbelievable way Loverboy’s car seemed to jump out of the path of his car, while pointing over at him. As the heads of the officers turn towards him, Loverboy quickly gets into the car and pulls away from the scene and into the parking area of the Hotel Novotel.






Loverboy: God damn it.

((Loverboy swipes the plastic card key through the slot of room 469 again, but again the light is red and the handle of the door won’t budge. Frustrated, Loverboy slams his fist into the wooden door frame, shaking the wall up and down the hallway. Next door to the room, an angry looking man pops his head out of his own room and starts muttering at Loverboy, flexing his hairy, broad chest at him and taking a few steps in his direction.))

Guy: Я возьму свой гребаный голову! Do you know what time it is?

Loverboy: Easy, Vladimir, I don’t want you to get hurt, dude.

((The guy continues to come at him, though, until finally the door to the room Loverboy was banging on swings open, revealing a very provocatively dressed Sasha Grey, standing with a troublemaking smile on her lips.))




Sasha: Am I interrupting something, boys?

Loverboy: Hell no, babe, this guy was just asking me for directions to the home of the fuckin’ free. Forget him. Let’s you and your tight little ass back into this hotel room.

((Sasha giggles as Loverboy slides his hand around a silken hip, walking into the room and pulling her along after him. She gives the staring, hairy Russian a blown kiss and a little wave as she drags the door shut behind her.))

Loverboy: God DAMN you look good, Sasha! I can’t believe I left a girl like you waiting for so long, baby, I’m so sorry.

((Sasha turns to Loverboy and slides her porcelain arms around his neck, sidling her curvaceous body closer to him until her black lacy panties are rubbing against the crotch of his jeans. She cuts him off by kissing him deeply, her tongue searching the depths of his mouth. When she finally pull away Loverboy seems at a loss for words.))

Sasha: I was too hard on you over the phone, Vinnie. I was just scared. I decided to make it up to you though, okay?

((As she finishes her sentence, Sasha turns away and points toward the large bed in the hotel room, then takes Loverboy by the hand and leads him toward it.))

Sasha: I was a bad girl to my daddy tonight. Can daddy ever forgive his bad little girl? Daddy should discipline her…

((Both the smile on Loverboy’s face and the swelling in his pants grow to their bursting points as the gorgeous sexpot crawls seductively onto the mattress on her hands and knees, poking her luscious ass in the air and waving it at him as she crosses her stiletto heeled feet at the ankles and arches her back. Her face pushed into the comforter, Sasha Grey looks back at Loverboy and smiles.))

Sasha: Vinnie… take off your clothes and fuck me.




((A few minutes later, and “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane is on top of the nude body of a loudly moaning Sasha Grey. He is rocking his hips beneath the cover of a satin sheet and trying to keep her orgasmic noises to a manageable level by holding the lacy pair of black panties Sasha had been wearing in her wide open mouth with his right hand, while holding her leg straight up by the ankle with his left. It’s clear from the scratches on his back that Loverboy has been doing a good job pleasing the goddess of screen fucking. Loverboy groans as he continues to plunge his hips in a deep arc, moving Sasha’s entire body with each thrust, and then his eyes flutter and roll back into his head. He brings himself down hard. And again. A third time. Sasha’s eyes snap open from their euphoric state and she seems to panic, struggling to spit the silk of the panties out of her mouth.))

Sasha: Vinnie! Ah! Vinnie! Something’s happening!

Loverboy: I sure fuckin’ hope so….

Sasha: No… No, ow, Vinnie, something’s wrong, you feel fucking huge…

Loverboy: Hell yeah baby, I love when you tell me how awesome the Senator is…

Sasha: NO! No! You don’t understand! It feels like… it feels like it’s getting bigger! Inside me! Ow, Vinnie, please you have to stop, I can’t believe this… I’ve taken the biggest cocks in porn and it’s never felt like this!

((Loverboy moves faster, speaking along with each violent pistoning of his hips into the anguished star. Sasha’s face twists into a mask of pain as Loverboy finishes.))

Loverboy: Just…. A few… more… seconds… I’m… right…. TTTHHHHEEERRRREeeeee ahhh god… fuck.

((Loverboy collapses, exhausted, on top of the now shaking Sasha Grey. Her mascara spoiled by the tears running down her face, her lips tremble and she pulls herself into a sitting position against the headboard, gathering some of the satin sheet in her hands and covering herself with it.))

Sasha: Vinnie… your eyes… what’s wrong with your eyes?







Loverboy: Sasha… what do you mean?