Allianz Arena in Munich Germany sight of Wednesday Night Warfare. With Tommy Gunn actually being booked in a match the powers that be felt that it would be a good idea to get this generally dismissive man to sit down for an interview with everyone's favorite XWF reporter and verbal punching bag Steve Sayors.

Seated in a sparseley populated room is Sayors. Next to him is an empty metal chair and a small brown table that resembles a night stand. Across from him is some unnamed XWF camera man.

The door to the room opens up in and in walks the hulking figure of Tommy Gunn, ex Army Sniper and Heyman Alliance enforcer. Over Tommy's right shoulder is a big black duffle bag. Gunn drops the bag on the ground, unzips it and pulls out a thin black rectangular object which he then places onto the brown table. He then flips open the top of the object revealing it to be a laptop.


"Hello Tommy, thanks for stopping by."

"Didn't have much of a choice Steve."

"I thought your nephew Christian was going to be joining us."

"He is Steve."

"Where? I don't see him."

"It's the middle of the week Steve and my nephew is in the 3rd grade. Did you really think my sister was going to let him come all the way over to Germany so he could sit in the front row and watch me Ray Rice a bitch?"

"I'm not sure I get the reference but I understand the point."

Suddenly the computer starts to make a beeping noise and a little window pops up. Tommy clicks a few buttons and the small window is replaced with a live shot of Christian Gunn, seated in what appears to be a school classroom.

"Hi Uncle Tommy. Hi Steve!"

"Hello Christian, thank you for taking time to meet with us."

"Sure thing Steve. This got me out of gym class so I'm not complaining."

"Well first I want to talk to you Christian, are how are you feeling about your match with Peter Gilmour? It's being billed as the match of the decade."

"It is?"

"Really? That's pretty cool. I'm super excited. All my friends at school are really excited too. A few of them even asked if I could get them tickets to come."

"And how does your mom feel about this match?"

"How do you think she feels Steve? What the hell kind of question is that? Fucking idiot."

"Alright, alright. Sorry I asked. Ok Tommy, you have a match coming up with Liz Hathaway, how are you feeling about your chances?"

"How am I feeling about my chances? Is this your first god damn interview? How do I feel about my chances? I feel fucking great. In fact I feel better than great. I'm facing a bitch whose confidence is sky high and yet her actual skill in the ring is about as low as it can be. I mean this bitch acts like she wins all the time and yet when I look back through the tapes I see losing to some of the worst wrestlers this federation has ever seen."

"Like who?"

"Like Micah for example. Did you happen to listen to Liz's last promo? I don't blame you if you opted not to, if I were facing this stunted bitch I wouldn't pay attention to her promos either but I am so I have. If you don't mind I'd like to highlight a few quotes from her most recent shit show just so I can show you what I am talking about."

Tommy hits a few buttons on his laptop and the live shot of Christian is replaced with a clip from Liz Hathaway's recent promo.

Dumb Cunt says Said:I've faced dumb asses, pornstars, fake champions, vampires, and child molesters in my time here in the XWF.

But never, never have I face a inbred, idiotic, imbecile, until now.

"Ok, I'm not really seeing what you are talking about here."

"Yeah I would imagine Liz didn't either. First she talks about how she's faced dumb asses, and then in the very next sentence, let me repeat that for you, the very next sentence she states that she has never faced an idiotic imbecile. Well, which one is it? Has she faced idiots or has she not? I am going to assume based on that statement that Liz didn't graduate from the third grade because if she had she would know what I do."

"And what is that?"

"Why don't you tell the stupid man, Christian."

Christian's face pops back up on the screen.

"Dumb ass, idiotic and imbecile mean the same thing."

"Bingo. Tell me Liz, are you smarter than a third grader?"

"I see, very clever. But what does that have to do with her losing to Micha?"

"Hold your god damn horses Steve, I'm getting there. Liz talks about facing fake champions, and vampires. Well she's right, she has faced fake champions, and vampires. In fact the most recent vampire she faced was Micah, and do you remember what happened in that match Steve?"

"Can't say that I do?"

"Allow me to jog your memory."

A few more clicks of the computer and a clip from a March 10th match begins playing.

Liz Hathaway stumbles to her feet, trying not to put any pressure on her now bruised right knee. Minxs swings the bottle at Hathaway but fails to connect. Instead Hathaway unexpectedly moves in closer, removing Minxs advantage and instead delivers a massive headbutt that sends Minxs stumbling backwards. Hathaway puts her opponent down with a dropkick and then limps over and tries to lift her opponent but Minxs counters with a kick to Hathway's weakened knee. Just as Liz bends down to grab the knee Minxs plunges the piece of broken glass into the side of Liz Hathaway...red drops of blood start to fall and land into the mud.

Winner: Minxs

"You see what I'm getting at Steve? We have a bitch who talks like she's God's gift to wrestling when in fact she's as fucking pathetic as the very people she rails against. While she was going out and losing to Minxs I was accepting a challenge from that very same vampire and what did I do? I kicked her and her partners ass from bell to bell. Because that's what I do. I kick peoples asses. I don't just talk about it. I actually go out and do it. And that's just one of the many differences between Liz Hathaway and I. This bitch thinks facing me will be a breeze, an automatic win and yet this bitch loses more than she wins. Hell, she wants to talk about how utterly pathetic Peter Gilmour is and yet she lost to a mother fucking cock sucking vampire. Peter Gilmour may in fact be a useless piece of shit but he would never, and I cant emphasis this enough, never lose a match to Minxs. Not even with both of his hands tied behind his back and his feet hog tied."

"You tell him Uncle Tommy."

"And do you know what the truly fantastic part about all this is Steve?"

"What's that?"

"Well after I get done kicking everyone of Liz Hathaway's teeth out she is going to have to look in a mirror and come to grips with the fact that she just lost to the guy she claims to be the weakest link in the Heyman Alliance. My sincere hope is that in that moment Liz Hathaway learns a very valuable lesson."

"And what is that?"

"That acting like a big bad bitch is a surefire way to get your ass kicked, even by the "weakest link"."

"Anything else?"


"Absolutely. This dumb bitch is so kind to give me so much ammo that I felt like it would be rude of me not to use it. For instance..."

Dumb Cunt says Said:Tommy loves to try and talk his way out of situations. Just like saying he wasn't in love with Gilmour, just to turn around and speak about Gilmour for the next five minutes. What kind of a idiotic neanderthal are you?

"Gee I don't know Liz, the kind that doesn't equate wanting to kick someones ass with pent up homo love. Also, the idiotic imbecile kind. Right Liz?"

Dumb Cunt says Said:Wait, you don't know because you're bring to much of a realist. You're so much of a realist in fact that you blatantly said you suck monkey balls.

"No I didn't, not even close. But I will thank you for showing the world that you don't know what the world realist means."

Dumb Cunt says Said:to talking about your ninety-seven year old grandmother to taking about your nephew.

"Add can't hear to the list of things Liz can't do, like win wrestling matches. In fact I talked about my great Aunt, not grandmother. I even said it more than once."

Dumb Cunt says Said:Griffin McAllister? Please, he dated Alexandra Callaway, and lost to Duke, something must be fucked up with his brain. Probably all that angel dust he's been sniffing lately.

"And yet he's better than anyone you have ever beaten which as we all know, isn't many people."

Dumb Cunt says Said:I'd love to see the look on there face when I'm destroying you.

"And I can't wait to see the look on whatever is left of your face after I've destroy you."

"Ok so what's next for you after this match with Hathaway?"

"Watching my 8 year old nephew beat a 12 time X-treme champion from my seat at the side of the ring. I'm going to watch the self proclaimed "King of Xtreme" get his ass kicked by someone who still believes Santa Clause is real."

"Santa isn't real?"

"Fuck, I forgot you were there."

"Wait...Santa isn't real?"

"Well Steve, it's been real."

Tommy grabs the laptop and quickly slams the screen shut, tosses the laptop in his bag and hightails it out of the room leaving just Steve and the unnamed camera man to ponder what the fuck just happened.

"Well I guess that's that."