"So any of you bums want to face me on the 18th of August edition of Madness? Sneaky rats put a clause into my contract where I have to wrestle to get paid. I'd prefer some weak novice because I honestly hate breaking a sweat. But again I want the greenbacks so any one of you will do. Play nice eh? you people are all this, cunt that, rape this, snort that. Just calm down and make sure I get the easiest path to my payday, OK? Good."

"My nails are fine man it's my hair I'm worried about. Wouldn't want to ruin my sponsorship with Pantene. You accept McBride or did you just pop in pretending to be funny?"

"Yeah that's the spirit! Good for you man! Nah but seriously of course you won't hurt me, I'm big bad and better looking than Leonardo DiCaprio. What that means is 1) I can hold you back with my reach, it'll be hilarious. 2) I really don't care if I hurt anyone, it's not like I train for this shit, if you end up injured don't say I didn't warn you. and 3) There's no way I'm letting you ruin this face, anything but the face. Quad, knee, little toe. Whatever gives you kicks man, see you at Madness on the 18th!"

"Oh damn I almost forgot Mikey, let me thank you for spouting off an entirely different brand of bullshit. Hey at least you ain't gonna rape me eh?"

@Kaiser @McBride hold on a minute before you 2 get nice n cozy with one another. Lets make this thing a 3 way at #Madness and call it falls count anywhere. you game? #BewareOfStrangers

"Darren Dangerous. Were you paying attention? You were meant to be listening not talking, talking is the opposite. Damn man everything I just told McBride goes out the window if you're involved. But you're a tough guy, I like to think I'm a tough guy, hell I want to see if I can knock your crazy ass down. Long story short, I accept the match Dub D' bring your barbed wire, this is going to get bloody messy!"

"Well boys management has given us the option of having the match at the upcoming PPV or the Madness after the PPV, which is September 1st. Either way it's a long time to wait for peanuts from front office. So I'm going sort out some business while you two eat glass or whatever it is you two do. Dangerous, don't bleed out before on the way to ring, OK? McBride, I don't know, go write a list?"

"Did you miss the part where I said I wanted an easy fight? haha. Naw man, Darren Dangerous looks scary, even if it's maine-ly because he might have an infectious disease. I don't know about McBride, can't be bothered looking into it either.."

"Who's Nazi? Some nazi punks burnt down my steel factory in Mariupol. I would love to bash a fash. I guess, I don't know. I'm not about the being taken seriously buzz, I'm about the getting paid while doing the least amount of work buzz. I guess I'll take whoever I can get the earliest payd- match with!"

"You're just trying to use me to get rid of your enemies! Hahaha of course that's what you're doing why didn't I see it earlier? Like I've said probably 10 times already, anyone, as soon as possible. Anyone. You're anyone eh Frodo? how about losing to another member of the Politburo? it could be my wedding gift to you."

@Fordo don't write checks your c$#ksucker can't cash. I have no problem waiting for a match with @Kaiser and @McBride but you could be a warm up, a minute steak if you will. What do you say boy? I'll cripple your ass for fun but to set an example I will carve you up real nice.

@Fordo fine with me kid... However WHEN I lay your ass out I won't be doing the raping, this tree trunk is for women only, therefore you will have the pleasure of getting cornholed by @RonJeremy. He's not gay but I told him I'd pay him $500 and he is strapped for cash right now. For your sake I hope you bring lots of lube.