Sometimes you don't see things cumming, and they still get you off.
Sometimes you can't predick how ugly a crack wench is gonna be so you wear a blind fold.
Sometimes you stick your cock in a glory hole so you don't need the blind fold, and you find out Ally is on the other side, so you kill yourself.
DEEP
DEEP
DEEP
THOUGHTS
Deez fools done lost they fuckin minds. How they gonna take The People's Cock and put him in a tag team match with masturbation? NIGGA HOW DA FUCK IS MASTURBATION MY TAG TEAM PARTNER THIS WEEK? Mr. XWF and Jack Hoff? You think that's funny XWF? YOU THINK THAT'S CUTE? I'll show ya something that's cute real soon AND THE DOCTOR KNOWWWWWS CUTE! This is right around when I'd bend over and spread my ass cheeks for you if I was in the room with you but I ain't so your ass is gonna have to spread your own cheeks and take a donkey dick just like Alexandra Callaway is probably doing right about now AND THIS BOY WITH THE BIG OL' DICK AIN'T TALKIN ABOUT MATT WART'S COCK!
How sucky must it be to go through life being named Matt Wart? I mean SERIOUSLY BRO YOU GREW UP WITH THAT NAME AND NEVER GOT TOLD THAT THEY ALLOW YOU TO LEGALLY CHANGE YOUR NAME IN THIS COUNTRY? I'm hearing your name homie and you know what I'm seeing? I'm seeing myself back in gym class sitting on a sweaty wrestling mat and for some FUCKED UP REASON it has an actual fuckin wart growing on it! So many dirty mother fuckers with unwashed asses wrestled each other into submission on that very mat that it's got genital warts! FUCK! THAT'S A MATT WART! AND I'M SITTING RIGHT ON IT! FUCK! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU MATT WART! I'MA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU TRY AND INFECT ME WITH YO SHIT I AM GONNA STRAIT JACK YOUR TESTICLES AND SELL THEM FOR A DOLLA FIDDY WHICH I WILL THEN TURN AROUND AND USE TO BUY YOU, MAKE YOU MY SLAVE, TAKE YOU TO FUCKIN CAMBODIA AND SELL YOU TO A CAMBODIAN WIZARD WHO WILL FUCK YO ASS SO HARD AND SO DEEP THAT YOU'LL BE SQUIRTIN RAINBOW COLORED NEON STARDUST OUT YOUR MOUTH!
Eeeeaaauuughhh, uuuggh, icky icky, blahhhhhh fucker blah. I feel like taking some soap and washing my tongue because it's gonna catch your warts just from TALKIN ABOUT YO ASS! Now here's the thing Jack! And no I ain't talkin to my partner I'M TALKING TO MATT WART AND CALLIN IT JACK! The doctor might be halfway joking when he says you're giving genital warts to wrestling mats BUT HE SURE AS HIZZELL AIN'T JOKIN WHEN HE SAYS YOU ONLY WORTH A BUCK FIFTY! Nigga a washing machine makes more money in one wash than what your entire life is worth! How does that make you FEEL, DAWG? HOW DA FUCK YA FEEL ABOUT THAT SHIZZIT?
Matt, Matt, Matt, I'ma break it down like this. You stand about as much chance against me masturbating in a ring as Ally stands against......................FUCK IT! You know what? I was gonna come up with some clever ass comment right there about that ho bag, but fuck it! She ain't worth the funny remarks! She ain't worthy of the wit! That dingy dame dame ain't even deserving of that rotten toothed freak who she has a crush on sucking on her tit! Figured a guy who can't even spell his own name is the one in XWF who she runs after and throws her titties in the face of, screamin SUCK ME, SUCK ME, OH BIG DIMMY BABY SUCK ON DEEEEZE TITTAYZ! DEEZE TITTAYZ!
Yeah, bitch! YEAH! ADMIRAL APPENDAGE DONE SAID IT! HE DONE CALLED YOU OUT YOU RED HEADED HARLOT! You do realize you're booked against me and the art of masturbation, correctomundo? Here's how I see the marquee up in light, IT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS!
Mr. XWF and Masturbation vs Alley Cat and Anal Warts
While I got an actual action as my partner, you got something much more fucked, ho. YOU GOT DEM ANAL WARTS! I mean I done seen pictures of that boy you got teaming with you, THE SAME BOY YOU AGREED TO TEAM WITH PRIOR TO THIS SHIZZIT EVEN GETTING BOOKED UP! You didn't see me going around saying I wanna jack off in some ugly cunt's face, NO! You didn't see me saying I'd like to catch anal warts...............if you can even catch that shit which I sure don't fuckin know. Tell me Alley Dog is anal warts contagious? You'd know this shit not me. You fuckin sit down on the toilet and get up and the thing looks like it came from the middle ages with fuckin vines all growing on it and spiders n shit. WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT HAPPEN? GET YO SELF CHECKED, FOOL!
I'll close this for now with just letting XWF management know how fucked in the brizzain I think y'all niggas are. Heheh, heh, yeah real funny just throw dat boy with the big ol' dick into a ring to fend for himself with masturbation. I feel like I should be charging you extra for me showing up if I'm expected to perform on THAT LEVEL! YOU'RE ASKING THE PEOPLE'S COCK TO LITERALLY COME OUT AND PLAY, AAAAAAAND TO EXPLODE WITH PLEASURE IN THE FACE OF THAT MIRROR BREAKING SHE-BEAST WITH PERIODBLOOD RED HAIR! AND HER ANAL WARTS! AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A VERIFIED COUNT OF HOW MANY SHE GOT!
I CAN ONLY MASTERBATE ONCE AT A TIME!
SHE MIGHT BE COMING IN WITH HUNDREDS OF PARTNERS IF NOT THOUSANDS!
GOD FUCKIN DIZZAM! YOU NIGGAS GOT IT OUT FOR ME! YOU BOYS THROWING THE DOCTOR UNDER THE BUS!
Mr. XWF stars in: THE ATTACK OF THE KILLER BLOWJOB
Also starring: Pretty Princey, Stellar Von Stella, & The Omnipotent Popo
Directed by: The names are colored so you know who the fuck's talking
Place: The mean streets of Alaska, Nebraska
Time: A double helping of blow with a side of job thirtytwo
It's about 4:00 PM and here I go walking down the street calling out freely for drugs. Yeah you're right it ain't the most wisest thing to do but then again saying most wisest isn't that smart either, SO FUCK YOU DO NOT JUDGE ME AND SIT DOWN THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Here I go running across the street because somebody just did one of those cat call whistles if you know what I mean. I know daaaaaamn fuckin straight what that means is about to happen.....THIS BOY WITH THE BIG OL' DICK ABOUT TO GET SERVED! I run up on dat nigga.
Yo yo yo yo, YO! Whatchu got for me foo? What you got homie? Eh? Eh?
I'm all up in this boy's business practically humping him against the fuckin building we outside of but you know what? That's how you do it in Alaska Nebraska YOU DO NOT RELENT ON A NIGGA. I'm straight jackin this boy's space and oxygen and demanding answers that I get right about now.
The name's Pretty Princey, but you can call me pee pee. Look how sexy I am: ![[Image: yWSWzeW.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/yWSWzeW.jpg)
Nigga did you hear me just ax you yo name? DID YOU? DID YOU HEAR THAT SHIT? NO! I DON'T THINK SO! AND WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD THE DOCTOR CARE ABOUT HOW SEXY YOU IS? I WANT THE BLOW! NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE DRUGS!
Hush hush, damn boy, there's people around. Let's go down this alley and have a quickie.
Hold up blood what da fuck you mean quickie? DA FUCK YOU ABOUT TO DO TO ME IN THAT ALLEY? I'M AFRAID OF ALLEYS, I HEAR THEY GIVE YOU GENITAL AND ANAL MATT WARTS.
Oh jesus christ those are the worst. I have like seven of those right here on my
No bitch no don't show me that shit! PULL YO PANTS BACK UP RIGHT NOW 'FORE I BUST YOU UPSIDE YOUR HEAD WITH A BRICK!
Ol boy pulls his pants up, lucky for him because I do not play games when it comes to my drugs. Gimme that shit or die is basically what's gonna happen once I know you got em.
Alright so here's the deal nigga you gimme all the drugs and I'll pay you in cash, not cock, just in case I have to specify that shizzit!
No deal. I want the cock.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
To be continued!
Come back next time and meet the rest of the cast. Will Mr. XWF get his blow? Will he get his drugs too? Will he get a fat fuckin hardon and shove it in Matt Wart's gaping ass tunnel? Will Alley Dog Call-a-gay stop fuckin up toilet seats?
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