Swagmire walked up to the front door of Maria Brink's apartment away from the ratty house she also owns. He knocked on the door, which opened gently at his touch. He saw Maria standing up behind a chair. She motioned for him to come in, so he did. She gestured for him to sit down, and being the polite guest he was, he sat down. Facing directly across from Maria he could see she was hunched over slightly, and appeared to be in some slight discomfort. She waited a minute before speaking.

"Hey, how's it going? I'm almost done with this. Just getting a little exercise then I'll come and sit down. How's it going?"

"Not well. I bought Leda a necklace, and I feel like it was overkill. I also kind of think Peter's going to back out of the stipulations to our match, but throw a hissy if he somehow wins and I don't oblige them. I just want this nightmare to be over. He's such a fucking baby. Do you know he's mad because Classic Gilmour said that CG will be marrying you on the 21st of this month. Plus, he threw a fit when Scorpio found a girl who kind of looked like you. God, he is obsessed with you. Like hardcore, and you know the funny thing. I'm the one in here talking to you, and he's off somewhere else eating Chicken Parm. Or probably ordering Supreme with Pineapple Pizzas for little girls."

Maria let out a load moan before speaking.

"Oh god. I'm cumming. Don't stop, Frodo. Keep it going.

"Is Frodo back there eating your baby cave? You were getting head from my brother while we're talking?! That's awkward."

She just stood there with her eyes on the ceiling for a minute before adjusting something Swagmire couldn't see and walking out from behind the chair and sitting down.

"No, he wasn't eating me out as we spoke. Promise. And yes, he did admit to refusing to follow the stipulations because he's a poor excuse for a man. Honestly, the fact that he goes to all of my shows, came to my house once, and reps my band so hard is sickening. It's almost enough for me to quit making music all togehter. When I quit, it will exclusively be because of Peter Gilmour. You know, the time he came to my house a pair of my dirty panties went missing. I think the creep took them."

Frodo walked out from behind the chair and tried to kiss Maria but she pulled away.

"Oh, you'll ask me to tongue your ass, but you won't kiss me after I do it? Fine. I'm gonna go brush my teeth then. Mind if I use your toothbrush?"

"Throw it away when you're done. Please."

"And it got even more awkward. Trust me, I wouldn't have slept with you if you asked, you're kind of ugly, but for my brother to tongue your poop chute as we speak is crossing some lines. A lot of lines. Anyway, you were saying Peter admitted to refusing to admit he had sex with Fred and liked it if I win? Really? I bet he's going to try and get a tag title shot from me if he wins. Sadly, I can't grant that, I'm not a tag champion. He'll have to deal with Scorpio and Frodo."

"No one said Peter was a smart one. Anyway, I am getting married to Classic Gilmour on the 21st. Unless my strong Classic Man decides he found someone else to share his cock and life with. I'll understand, a woman as ugly as I am doesn't deserve him. I look like a rat in a wig, with a pig's body. I'm almost as ugly as Peter Gilmour, or his fiancees. How does that get women? You know, I once thought I saw him jerking off at one of our shows. His dick was tiny, and repulsed me. The fact that your brother fucked him makes me feel extra ugly about myself."

Frodo walked out of the bathroom, and sat down on the sofa by Swagmire.

"Sup, big brother? Worried about your match with Gilly-Dick? Don't be, he's so distracted with trying to prove Maria loves only him, and the Classic Gilly is a fraud he'll forget about you. You're pretty forgettable anyway. Katie has to tell me on the daily that I have a brother. Anyway, I'm about to rail Maria, but only from behind because if she looks at me her fuck ugly face will make me lose my boner. You can watch if you want, but I advise against it. It's gonna get nasty."

Frodo got up and walked to Maria, he grabbed her by her hair and lifted her to her feet. She turned away from him, bent over and lifted her skirt up to expose herself to him.

"I promise to not look at you, just make sure you go hard. I wanna get used to it. I'm sure Classic Gilmour is a beast. After you get done in the 'Baby cave' you should fuck my ass until I bleed. I promise to suck it clean."

With that Swagmire got up and walked away as Frodo slid himself into Maria Brink's nasty slop cave. Her rot kitchen, if you will. She moaned loudly as Swagmire was walking to the elevator. One of her neighbors popped out to ask Swaggy a question.

"Is she having sex with animals again, or did some poor bastard finally muster the courage to plunge that trout woman's poison chalupa?"

Swagmire shook his head and walked into the elevator and hit the button to go down.

Fade to Tapioca Pudding Snack Pack