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JonPlex · (04-23-2014)

When we last left our hero, Jon Plex, he was running like a madman from the grasps of Todd Vincent. Things have since settled down and now the two are backstage at the Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois.

Todd Vincent
I seriously cannot believe this guy is still trying. You almost have to admire his determination to not be cast aside.

Jon Plex
Ignorance of fact is no excuse and certainly does not warrant admiration. Wyatt is a joke, plain and simple. The sooner the battle royale gets here, the sooner I can justify all my week’s worth of talk.

Todd Vincent
Yes, we have been busy this week.

Jon Plex
It’s only going to get worse I fear. The more I continue to dominate the XWF, the more eyes that are going to start taking notice. This place is chalked full of loons like Wyatt. People like him are a dime a dozen here.

Todd Vincent
Amen to that. Did you see Classic Gilmour earlier before we left? What the fuck was that?

Jon Plex
It wasn’t entertaining, I’ll tell you that much. That is unless your idea of entertaining is so far beyond fucked up, that it’s irreparable. I’ve been to children’s funerals that were more pleasant than watching that promo.

Todd Vincent
Wow, tell me how you really feel.

Jon Plex
Hell I’m not one to tread lightly. It’s a growing frustration to be subjected to this crap. Day in and day out I have to sit around and listen to some of the most uneducated, unoriginal, off the wall bat shit insane promos. Sure I went back in time, but that’s perfectly within the realm of possible. With the advancements in today’s technology, it’s not that much of a stretch to think that a 1981 DeLorean could transport me back in time! Hell, this guy fought a mythological sea demon with his dick. Are we even trying at this point?

Todd Vincent
Eh, I wouldn’t worry too much about that guy.

Jon Plex
Oh I’m not. I’m not worried about anybody when it pertains to what takes place inside that ring. It’s outside of it that worries me. Half of these fools need to be institutionalized, yet here they are walking around with free will. Who’s the say one of them doesn’t manifest inside their warped minds that I’m some sort of Pagan demon spirit sent forth to destroy them? Next thing I know, I’m laying on the ground in a pool of my own blood courtesy of a shanking!

Todd Vincent
I thought your contract had a “no shanking” clause?

Jon Plex
Hell I don’t know, I never read the fine print!

Todd Vincent
So moving on, once more, Dusty Wyatt has put his fat head on the XWF screen again.

Jon Plex
Why am I not surprised?

Todd Vincent
Yeah, he had some sort of real life interview which ultimately lead to nothing except him laughing at our promo.

Jon Plex
Well no shit, I’m one funny sum bitch! Just ask Twitter!

Todd Vincent
Yeah, then he tries to scare a prostitute who winds up giving him a shot to the nether region.

Jon Plex
Hopefully it destroys any chance of him reproducing.

Todd Vincent
I agree. Finally he was seen strolling around the arena asking fans what they thought about you, which resulted in silence. He hurls a few schoolyard insults at you and then takes a line from our playbook, telling you that you’re out of time. I suppose it’s all just some last minute, frantic attempt to stay above water at this point. He knows he’s done for. He finally sees what all the hype is about and it’s got the fat bastard on the run. He’s clinging to anything to remain relevant right now.

Jon Plex
Oh Dusty Wyatt. Who, pray tell, are you trying to fool? Is it yourself? You want to play make believe and act as if I’m not worshipped by the XWF Universe? How about we check the XWF website and debunk this tall tale?

Plex pulls out a laptop and logs on to the XWF official website. After a few minutes of browsing, he turns the screen with a side by side comparison between Wyatt and himself.

Jon Plex
Let’s see here… we joined almost at the same time, you having a week head start on me. In that time span you have had 9 fans like your promos in the 50+ television appearance you have made. I guess that’s pretty respectable if your bar is set so low that it’s hanging out with dinosaur fossils. Now let’s have a look see at my statistics with the fans. Oh, would you look at that! 17 likes in only 12 television appearances. I have almost doubled your popularity with the fans with damn near 1/5 the airtime. Yet you claim that the fans don’t know who I am? My reputation here is double what you can lay claim to. Yet, silence from the crowd when you speak my name? Poor Wyatt, when will it sink into that fat, cajun head of yours? The words you spit out are nothing more than self-perceived truth. In reality, nothing you say is true beyond your own little world. You have a condition and it’s called delusional disorder. I’m afraid since no one probably gives a damn about you, that you’ve never been properly made aware of your disorder. I hate that it has developed so severely within you that it has resulted in you having your ass kicked by me tonight on Warfare, but I am just simply the messenger Wyatt, not the curer.

Todd Vincent
Well that certainly explains a lot. It explains how he could have conjured up a story about kidnapping me.

Jon Plex
It explains everything Todd. I hate to be cliche, but I have some bad news for you Dusty Wyatt. The wall you have built around your self, your own psychosis, is about to come crumbling down into a pile of disregarded rubble. Once people, the fans, see you for what you really are… I’m afraid it’s all downhill from there. If you were taken the least bit serious before, you won’t be after tonight. I tried to warn you Wyatt and everyone else. I tried to be as plain as I possibly could. The tides have shifted here at XWF. The waves I am about to make will drown everyone in their path. You’ll have to be some damn half Michael Phelps, half dolphin if you even dare stand up to me. Seeing as that is biologically impossible, it would appear that I have no worries about yourself or anyone back in these locker rooms. You will all try tonight. Wyatt, Duke, Genesis, GC, Brooks, and even poor ole Bryan will attempt to stop the inevitable. All I can say is sorry. I’m not in the business of crushing dreams, but it comes with the territory. You say I’ve been in the stock room this whole time?

Plex steps out from behind the curtain, under the X-Tron in front of a few thousand fans who have already began filing into the arena. They immediately burst into a frenzy and begin chanting loudly, “More Plex Please” over and over.

Jon Plex
Think again.

Plex stands there, basking in the glory of his fans love and support. The XWF Universe has spoken both online and in person. Numbers never lie. Warfare is here, Plex is here, until we meet again…all hail Plex!

#moreplexplease

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