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Amos James Jr. · **03-14-2014, 12:10 PM**

"What the fuck you doin' boy? You fuckin' pussy. Get the fuck up outta' the floor."

That's what Baron Samedi say to me while we walkin' back and forth, and back and forth 'cross this motel room I been stayin' at. The fuck am I doin'? How the hell I get here?

"Guess I shouldn't be surprised see you layin' there on your back all spread-eagle with a damn whore stompin' on your ballsack. Same damn thing you done for Wyatt, ittinit? Ain't like you need practice doin' that. Guess she ain't doin' no damage stompin' on the sack like that, when we both know you ain't got a set of damn balls."

I open my eyes up for just a second while I feel spit runnin' down my cheek. I can't say nothin' on account of this ball she got strapped in my mouth. I groan and she presses a sharp heel in my nuts, then she smacks me with a whip I never seen comin'. All that leather started to blur together.

"Did I tell you make a noise, you

bitch?" she say to me. "You shut the fuck up, you fucking dog. This is the shit you get when you prove how worthless you are."

She hits me in the chest with that whip again.

"Heh, I like her," say Samedi. "Maybe I shoulda' picked this bitch instead'a you, huh Amos?"

The woman straddles my stomach and starts stranglin' me. I gasp for air but this damn ball blockin' it and she keeps pinchin' my nose. My body wants to toss her offa' me but she got me tied down pretty good. My eyes start to water. She spits in my face.

"You fucking white trash, goat-fucking, cousin-licking, dick-taking, gutter-scum. I bet those tears are what you used to lube your asshole up for Wyatt, ain't they? Or did you let 'em fall on Eli's cock before he shoved his in, you fucking worthless piece of shit?"

My blood starts boilin'. Samedi grins at me.

"That's right, boy. Get mad. Do it. Do it! Fuckin' kill her, you sorry dog. Show here you worth somethin'. Fuck, show me! Course you won't. You ain't got no balls."

"I know what you like. I know what gets you off." The woman pulls the ball outta' my mouth and grabs the whip again. I gasp for air and fill up my lungs. She rams the handle right down my throat, in and out, in and out.

"This feel good? Yeah? Make you think of your daddy? Huh, Amos? This the way your daddy fucked your mouth, you little bitch? I don't give a shit! It's the way I fuck your mouth! I'm your daddy now!"

She keeps going and going and I almost throw up on myself, gaggin' and all. She sees that comin' and pulls the whip out. Before I can breathe again, she wrappin' 'round my neck, chokin' me. I finally black out.

I don't dream nothin' and it seems like I come to pretty quick, but she on the bed tyin' her shoes. Woman's prettier in her jeans and t-shirt. I see her reach for the money I left on the counter.

"Don't go yet," I tells her. "I pay ya' more if ya' stay."

I don't know why I said it to her. I felt lonely, I guess, but I'm a man. She moved away form the cash and looked at me with sympathy all over her face.

"Lookit that look, Amos. She pities you. Nobody fears you." Samedi walkin' back and forth behind her and she don't even know it.

I sit up and start to talk, but I just stutter and start cryin'. I ain't never done this in my whole life. Men don't is what I always been told. But here I am.

"Amos, it's ok," she says. She sits down in the floor with me and puts her arm around my shoulders. "You can't be strong all the time."

"You ain't never strong, bitch." say Samedi.

"That's why you feel like you need me."

"That's right. You, 'Lord of the Rot and Resurrection' NEED a fuckin' whore."

I sit there for a minute and it all hits me.

"It's just…Ever' day feels like I tryin' to be somebody I ain't. Tryin' to put on some kinda' mask and go through and deep down, I know who I is."

"Yeah, you a bitch, Amos."

I breathe in real deep and stare at Samedi.

"And right now, I sees it all plain. All laid out real neat-like. Ever thing ever happened or gone to already done did over and over and over again. LIke wheels on a car. Threads startin' to show, pretty soon that shit gone blow up, you know? But the fact I's can see it all, and I knows this, makes me know I needs to stop pretendin'. I needs to stop wearin' this mask and be who The Almighty made me to be. 'Cause if all this done happened and'll happen again and again and again, that means all this damn pretendin' I do in this life, I gone do in the next, and the next, and the next. Forever. Till that tire blow out and the whole world flies off the cliff."

She leans over and kisses my cheek.

"That's pretty deep, Amos. It's like, we need to do good in this life and not waste it, not because we've only got one shot, but because if we don't, we waste it for eternity."

"We need to do what we's put here for, and I been doin' the opposite long as I remember. I know who and what I is."

"That's right, Amos. You're Amos James Jr. Big, strong man…always feels like he's got something to prove and tries to be strong for everybody else."

"That ain't who you is, boy," say Samedi. "Show her who you is."

"Naw. I ain't Amos James Jr. My names Baron Samedi. I'm the Lord of the Rot and Resurrection."

I grip her by the neck like a dog grabbin' hold of a rabbit and shake her around. She starts flailin', and I take her to the floor. I spit in her face, over and over again. She claws me all over my face and arms and I smile.

This who I is.

That whip is right next to me and I ram it right down her throat till I see her give up the ghost. I watch it leave and try to float up, and I watch the hands snatch that shit straight under the floor.

"That's my boy!" says Samedi. "That is my goddamn boy!"

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