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~~Mia Dim~~ · (03-04-2014)

”Where the fuck is everybody? Where is all this 'talent' that I keep hearing about? I don't believe I've ever seen such a pathetic turnout in my life. What's wrong with you people?

The winner of this match gets a shot at that

ass bitch Theo Pryce and his crown. So one would assume that the competition in this Rumble would be fierce-- too fierce for a rookie such as myself.

But I see nothin' but a bunch of a pussies around here. First with the band of homosexuals on Theo's team and now with those who are involved in the Nuclear Winter Series.

Why don't you

get off your asses and do something!

Everybody's all worked up over this pay-per-view but they ain't lookin' at the bigger picture.

Theo Pryce is the top dog. He's got that crown or whatever the fuck he's turned it into now. But Theo Pryce is also losing his grip. He ain't the king that we all thought he was going to be. He's LOSING matches. He lost in the god damn Auschwitz arena to a couple of nobodies! Who the fuck was it that outlasted him--

LAZARUS and... and-- fuck, I can't even remember who the other jackass was... TITAN! Yeah, that's the other jackass.

Wow, he lost to a couple of jackasses who have only been wrestling half the time that he has! And that ain't even the icing on the cake. He's now walked into a trap that he set up himself. He's soon to be facing a man by the name of AXLE KING. Guess who Axle King is-- another fucking rookie. A rookie who just happened to defeat the rookie that defeated Theo Pryce. Wow, is that really how simple it is to dethrone the king now? Just walk in as an unknown, challenge him, and watch him freak out and lose since he can't beat anyone who he isn't familiar with already.

I can't believe that you morons let Theo Pryce get away with this. I've never such a pathetic performance by a group of people than what I've seen this past month. You got a king who ain't shit, and all of these top contenders who are too afraid to do something about it. Does anyone here have what it takes to face the king, or am I the only one who gives a shit?

Now sure, I came up short against Hank Lane a couple of weeks ago, but I got my reasons unlike the rest of you

.

For one, I'm inexperienced in the sport of professional wrestling. I've been doin' this shit for a grand fucking total of three months, and that includes my basic in-ring training. Are you tellin' me that the best that the XWF has to offer right now is a damn rookie who can't even string together a proper sequence of wrestling holds? Last month, the only moves that I knew how to do were the finishing holds that I copied off of television!

You more experienced wrestlers out there know that you can't just go into a match and expect to hit a bunch of big moves right off the bat. But I didn't know that because I have only half the experience that you do.

But I'm learning with the best right now because my trainer is none other than the former World Heavyweight Champion... BILL GOLDBERG. Tell them, Bill!"

Bill Goldberg: "Me and Dave have been working hard for past fifty days. It hasn't been easy cramming seventeen years worth of knowledge into someone who's only been wrestling for three months. But Dave 'The Dimallisher" has shown a lot of progress. Why, when he first came in, he didn't know the difference between a wrist lock and wrist watch-"

”HAHAHA! That's funny! A wrist lock and a wrist watch. Thank you, Bill. And there you have it folks, a testimonial from the man himself. You see I might not be a smart man. I didn't even finish high school. In fact, I probably have half the brain that all of you do, but this week has shown that all of you jackasses only have half the motivation and heart that I have. You're all a bunch of lazy slobs, sittin' at home on your couches waiting for an opportunity to present itself to you. Well, on March 1st, I'm going out there and taking it. I ain't gonna sit around and wait like the rest of you. I ain't gonna wait for Theo Pryce to pick me for a title defense.

Who's gonna try to stop me? Who's gonna be the first ~~man~~ (since that would infer that there's actually someone else here with a sack between their legs) woman to come out of hiding to try and stand in between me and my opportunity? Who's gonna be the first to bear the imprint of my size 14 on their face? Come on out ladies! *winks*

Look at you

sitting at home, probably getting ready to film your first promo now that you seen this rookie come out and show you up. Did I kick some motivation into you jackasses? Or am I just gonna come out here and talk to myself all week? I don't give a shit either way because the outcome will be the same; I'm walking out with my hand raised!

And after I win, I'm going on to face that

Theo Pryce where I will become the ruler and KING of the world."

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