-Hunter Payne is pacing back and forth in his loft bedroom. Very pissed off, having heard from all these fuckers in his Elimination Chamber match. It was his turn to light these bitches up. With Hunter being the king of smack talk, You just know these motherfuckers are in trouble (trouble!) now! -



Payne: Everyday I feel like I am locked inside a cell with no way out and I am surrounded by a bunch of light skinned idiots! No not jail, That is a metaphor for my life in white America... So me being stuck in an Elimination Chamber under the same circumstances shouldn't be any different. You may ask who am I referring to? Well, let's just check the list of my opponents in the Elimination Chamber shall we?




Payback? White and stupid.



Andrew Morrison? White, Goth, and boring.



Steve Davids? White, maybe? who the fuck knows? and boring.



Wyatt Reynolds? Stereotypical white supremacist.



And Lastly, Peter Gilmour? The fat white town drunk.




-Hunter cuts a type of promo where he just goes off-




So many crackers, I think I need some soup to go with them. Sorry for breaking up this Klan Rally with my all my Latin spice, but it had to be done. The defense will now offer its rebuttal... bitches!





Payback. He is in there solely to continue his meat-to-meat love interest with Gilmour. He seems to be popular because... I couldn't really tell you. Making fun of Gilmour I guess, like everybody else. What is this fucking high school? Grow up. Payback is not winning at Lethal Lottery. He will hump Gilmour around the ring a few times before being eliminated. Well at least we're in the same match Payback, that way I can make your match actually watchable. Cause we all know if you were in a singles match the fans wouldn't be saying "Pay me back!" they would be saying, "Pay me refund!"







Andrew Morrison. I defeated you on my birthday earlier this year. I mention that because I know it just eats you up inside, and it should. I fucked you up! Plus, I get to do it again at Lethal Lottery! What fun. So funny you should mention Vince McMahon suing for copyright infringement, on a completely separate note here, do you still do your Hurricane gimmick? Oh where, Oh where, have I seen that before??? You see Andrew, despite moronic belief, CM Punk didn't invent Straight Edge, he merely brought it to your attention. Straight Edge was around a long time before CM Punk. Your Hurricane thing though, it has been done before in WWE. So if Vince McMahon should be suing anybody for copyright infringement, it's you. And another thing, weren't you retired? What the fuck happened to that? See it's assholes like you who use the word "retirement" too lightly. I hate that. Forget the Xtreme Title for a second, I am going to kick your ass based solely on that, and make sure you STAY in retirement this time. Liar.






Steve Davids! The asshole who replaced me in the Brotherhood. Hey, how's that working out for you Stevie?! I laugh at your Pain. As you may have noticed The Brotherhood really crumbled to shit after I was exiled from the group. I told Sebastian Duke, Steve Davids is a poor man's replacement for Hunter Payne. The Brotherhood thought I was joking! So how are they doing now you ask? Well, Duke and Griffin are busy gangbanging the same woman. Tony Santos is too drunk to remember he is even apart of The Brotherhood. Shawn Steele and Rebel would rather collect unemployment checks than be apart of The Brotherhood. So congrats Stevie! You really won out when you replaced me didn't you?





Wyatt Reynolds the darkhorse whitehorse to win at Lethal Lottery. Oh shit dude! You're sooo racist! I mean I haven't heard another wrestler call me a wetback that much since.... Last week. Not only are you unoriginal but you also aren't even more racist than my typical racist opponent of the week. So you're supposedly a huge bigot, but the funny thing is, you can't even do that right! The one thing you're supposed to be better at than everybody else is your racism, but it feels like you just said a watered down version of something John Madison or Luca Arzegotti already said. So tell me, if you can't even be a bigger bigot than people who aren't even trying to be bigots, then what chances do you have winning a wrestling match against opponents that are better wrestlers than you are? Hey Wyatt E Lee, I got some bad news for you, The Confederacy lost, we have a black President, and to top it all off, we will soon have a Mexican Xtreme Champion. Suck it.





Peter Gilmour, you fat ugly Mick Foley wannabe. You have a serious drinking problem my friend. Even so, I do admire the fact that you managed to fall half-ass backward into another Xtreme title reign, and congrats on beating the spread this time asshole! I lost 50 bucks like most people who thought you would lose it faster than your last reign. Then again, 12 hours! You didn't exactly set a high bar for yourself did you Pete? Another thing, how do you manage to Babe Ruth your way through the XWF? And by that I mean being an overrated fat jackass,showing up drunk or hungover to your appearances? And nobody does anything about it?! Does Shane fine or suspend you? Nope! He drinks with you! That's the man we work for! He allows this Babe Ruth Gilmour to make a mockery of the Xtreme Championship. Well Peter, you won't have to worry. When, not if, WHEN I get my way, XWF with have a rehab program we can send you to. Then you can stop drinking your life away. Hey, how does it feel to have this esse looking down on you for being the fat drunken joke you are?





All in all, I am unimpressed with every last one of you! I am more entertaining than Payback! I am more intimidating than Andrew Morrision. I have a better team than Steve Davids! I am, and so is everybody else apparently, a bigger racist than Wyatt Reynolds! And I am I better champion than Peter Gilmour! Joy seems to poplar among your promos and truth be told she put up a better fight with me than all of you degenerates will...You all can rest easy knowing Hunter Payne will be the NEW STRAIGHT EDGE XTREME CHAMPION come Lethal Lottery!



-Rant over. Mission accomplished! -