Razor Blade comes out wearing his American Nightmare outfit. Blade lifts his arms in the air and fist pumps as the crowd cheers!
“When Not Like Most Girls” hits. Latoya Hixx bursts onto the stage, spreading her arms wide open! Hixx walks straight down the ramp towards the ring!
TODD: American Storm has taken their fair share of lumps the past few weeks!
BAMA: Understatement of the century, Toddy! Razor and Latoya got handed a tag-title match… LOST! Then, they were one of the only tag-teams in the Bashmaster Classic that had pre-existin’ experience taggin’... And they got SHREDDED by Atty and Vilaro!
TODD: Another two title opportunities down the drain for American Storm… But! There are two things going for American Storm! One, they have nowhere to go but up, in terms of climbing back into title contention! And two…
BAMA: Two, they can’t get any lower on the totem pole!
The arena lights dim as the sound of thunder rolls through the speakers, followed by the steady rhythm of traditional Samoan drums. Tagaloa’s theme song then hits as a burst of red pyro explodes out in a quick fashion! Maui Tagaloa and Sione Mauga comes out to the top of the ramp, flexing with a smug grin as if they own the planet.
Todd: The XWF is gonna get some mo’-ah Samoans!!
Bama: I hate puns, Toddy! But I love these two! They’re five-hundred-plus-pounds combined of pure energy and strength!
Todd: Speaking of losses, Maui Tagaloa lost a nail-biter in his debut match to Solomon Kline! Can he get back on track with his partner Sione in the tag-team division?
The pair make their way down the ring, Maui rolling his shoulders and Sione bouncing his pecs as they approach the ring. Both stares at it a bit, then jumps onto the apron in one leap and gets inside, walking in circles like an angry pit looking for its meat. They both pull on the ropes, then walks to the center of the ring, readying for the match.
Razor and Latoya chatter, Razor pointing across the ring at their opponents, as the Samoans howl in unison!
TODD: Wow, those Samoans are starting a war dance in their corner!
BAMA: Why don’t Blade and Hixx do a war dance?
After their strategizing, Razor bumps fists with Latoya and heads to the ring… Meanwhile, Maui stomps toward the ring, still howling in unison with his partner!
TODD: We’re starting off with Razor Blade and Maui Tagaloa…
BAMA: Two very different competitors… Razor definitely the quicker… Maui definitely the beefier!
The official signals to the timekeeper…
DING DING!
Maui Tagaloa and Sione Mauga
- vs - The American Storm
Latoya Hixx and Razor Blade Tag Team
The second the bell rings, the Samoan chanting stops…
Maui Tagaloa stomps his feet, rolls his thick shoulders and slaps his chest, his face radiating confidence.
TODD: Tagaloa exudes charisma!
A cocky smirk tugs at the corner of his lips as he points a finger at his opponent, eyes locked on Razor Blade, who cracks his knuckles in response. Razor’s jaw tightens, his breathing steady, scanning Maui’s movements carefully.
TODD: Razor opting to start off with an air of trepidation… Blade knows once things get going, the Samoan powerhouse will come out swinging.
BAMA: And he does, Toddy!
Indeed, as Todd finishes speaking, Maui explodes forward, his muscles rippling as he swings a wild, tree-trunk-like forearm at Razor’s jaw. At the last second, Razor’s eyes widen, and he tries to duck—but not fast enough. Tagaloa’s forearm SMASHES across his face, his head snapping to the side as his knees buckle out from under him!
TODD: Wow! We’re at move one and Razor might already be out on his feet!
BAMA: Absolutely, Toddrick! Maui just hit Razor with his ARM, that’s the second-hardest part of his body after his SKULL!
Blade blinks rapidly, his vision blurring, as he snorts, trying to shake off the blow.
Seeing Razor rrrrrocked, Maui pounds his chest, howling to the arena’s ceiling! Sione howls after him!
Maui charges forward, and snags Razor by the waist, his hands wrap like a boa constrictor behind Blade’s back before yanking Razor off his feet into a crushing bearhug.
TODD: Wow! Maui has absolutely dismantled Razor in record time!
BAMA: Could we see American Storm drop their third in a row?
Razor’s face contorts in pain, his ribs compressed by Maui’s monstrous grip. His back arches instinctively, arms flailing for an escape.
Latoya barks at Razor, demanding he stop goofing around and battle out!
TODD: Latoya clearly unhappy with her partner’s performance in this match’s early going!
BAMA: I’m sure Razor would love if she were in the ring with Maui instead of him!
Razor shoves off Maui’s shoulder, trying to slip out of Tagaloa’s grip…
Suddenly, Maui lets out a roar and barrels forward, driving Razor’s spine into the corner turnbuckles.
Hixx narrowly dips off the apron to the floor, avoiding Tagaloa’s turnbuckle strike knocking her on her ass!
TODD: Incredible strength by Maui!
A sharp gasp escapes Razor’s lips, his body jolting on impact. He slumps against the corner, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his hand instinctively clutching his ribs.
Maui takes a step back, his chest puffed out, as he howls! Sione howls! Maui howls!
Maui stomps, circling back toward the ring, pounding his arm against his chest… Before, suddenly, Tagaloa surges forward again—a body avalanche aimed to crush Razor completely!
TODD: Razor might get speared through here!
BAMA: Razor?!?! The entire turnbuckle might get speared through here!
Maui charges!
…
But at the last second, Razor’s eyes flash with urgency! He dives off to the side, barely dodging the incoming Samoan freight train!
TODD: Razor slips out!
BAMA: Blade was playin’ possum!
Maui collides chest-first into the turnbuckles, his face twisting in shock as his momentum works against him. His arms shoot out to steady himself, but it’s too late—Razor seizes the opportunity.
With a quick head-shake to clear out the cobwebs, Razor plants his feet and launches himself at Maui!
…Maui dizzily swings another forearm!
…But Blade ducks under, before catching Tagaloa with a snap powerslam! Maui’s massive body is lifted up in the air…
KERASH! Before SMASHING into the canvas! The air rushes from Tagaloa’s lungs. Maui’s eyes squeeze shut, and he clutches his lower back, groaning!
TODD: And just like that, the momentum has completely shifted!
BAMA: The sea winds are a turning and Maui’s Samoan raft is headed straight into an AMERICAN STORM!
Latoya leaps up in a single bound to the apron, prepared for the worst… But she sees Blade in control! She pumps her fist excitedly before extending her arm over the top rope!
Razor doesn’t waste a second—he pushes himself up, his eyes flicking to his corner where Latoya Hixx is practically vibrating with anticipation. Her fingers clutch the top rope, her eyes ablaze with hunger for a fight. He strides over and slaps her hand—tag!
Razor Blade tags Latoya Hixx!
Latoya vaults over the ropes, landing with a thud, and her lips pull into a wolfish grin as she locks onto Sione Mauga, who is already stepping through the ropes to even the odds.
TODD: Sione entering the ring even though he’s not the legal man!
BAMA: You’re right, Toddy! D’you wanna get in there and explain that to him?
TODD: …Nah, that’s okay…
Maui slips under the bottom rope as Sione pounds his chest, determined to restore he and his partner’s Samoan honor!
Sione’s face is a mix of frustration and determination, his fists clenching as he sizes up the muscular frame of Latoya. With a sudden burst, he charges at her, swinging a heavy right hand.
But Latoya smirks, eyes gleaming with anticipation. She sidesteps, moving like water, avoiding the strike with ease! Sione’s giant bear claw style swing sends him stumbling forward, his brows knitting together in annoyance.
TODD: Amazing dexterity by Latoya Hixx!
BAMA: Amazing power by Sione… if only he’d hit his target!
Before Sione can regain his footing, Latoya lunges forward, ramming her shoulder into Sione’s midsection and bulldozing him into a neutral corner! Sione’s eyes widen, his mouth opening in a silent gasp as his body folds under the pressure. Latoya reels back her shoulder… And DRIVES it again into Sione’s gut!
Sione tries to shove Hixx off so he can escape, but Latoya presses in deeper, grinding her shoulder into his ribs!
TODD: I can’t imagine Sione’s ever been out strength’d in his entire career, Bama!
BAMA: Well, it’s happening now, Toddrick! Sione’s looking like a cruiserweight out there with the XWF’s strongest woman!
Sione lets out a frustrated snarl, his arms struggling and grappling against Latoya’s shoulders, like a defensive lineman in an attempt to break free of the corner. Sensing his struggle, Latoya grins and takes a step back, letting Sione escape the corner!
…only to immediately latch his arm and whip Sione into the ropes!
Sione hurtles forward, his feet pounding against the canvas as he rebounds off the ropes! As he rushes back, Sione springs off his feet! Leaping sideways through the air!
CROSSBODY TO LATOYA HIXX!
…
……
Is countered!
Hixx secures Sione in powerslam position!
TODD: My word! Sione is almost 250 pounds!
BAMA: Well, Hixx snagged him out of the air like he was a fly on flypaper!
Latoya bends her knees and, with terrifying ease, hoists him up and sends him flying…
With a monstrous FALLAWAY SLAM!
Sione’s body soars over Hixx’s head, through the air before crashing down hard onto the mat, his back arching in pain. His fingers dig into the canvas as he groans, his body writhing in discomfort.
Outside the ring, Maui scoops himself to his feet and sees his partner in trouble! Tagaloa’s face twists with frustration!
[blue]TODD: Maui senses the tide turning! He needs to get involved if he wants to withstand the Storm!
Without hesitation, Maui storms into the ring, his breathing heavy, fists clenched.
But Razor is already moving. His body tenses as he leaps from the apron onto the top rope in one swift motion, his feet perfectly balanced!
Maui slips under the bottom rope, toward Hixx…
When Blade launches himself off the top rope!
Missile dropkick to Maui’s jaw!
TODD: Beautiful aerial strike by Razor!
Blade’s boots send Maui’s head snapping backward, his eyes rolling slightly as he stumbles, his legs giving out beneath him. He crumples onto the mat, rolling backwards… and right back outta the ring through the middle ropes!
TODD: Bye, Maui!
Latoya glances toward the impact, watching with satisfaction as Maui tumbles out of the ring! Razor steps back toward their corner…
Latoya then turns back to Sione, who is barely stirring. She exhales sharply, the adrenaline surging through her veins as she pulls him up by his wrist.
Sione’s face is slack with exhaustion, his knees wobbling as he fights to remain upright. But Razor and Latoya exchange a look—they know it’s time to end this.
Razor steps forward out of the corner first, his muscles tensing as he hooks Sione into a front facelock, lifting him up into the air. He twists his body and slams Sione back-first onto the canvas with a snap suplex! Sione bounces from the impact, a sharp groan escaping his lips as he clutches his soibe.
As he lies there, dazed, Latoya steps forward, her smirk widening. She reaches down and grabs him by the neck, hoisting him up with alarming ease.
Sione’s head lolls slightly, his limbs sluggish, his breath ragged. He tries to push at Latoya’s arms, but his strength is gone.
With a roar, Latoya flips him over and drills him into the canvas with the Latoya Slam!
The impact reverberates throughout the ring, the crowd gasping at the sheer force.
She drops down, pressing her forearm against his chest as the ref slides in.
1!
2!
THREE!
WINNER: AMERICAN STORM!
Razor pushes himself up to his feet, his chest rising and falling heavily, a triumphant smirk playing on his lips. Latoya throws her arms up, flexing in celebration as the crowd cheers.
Outside, Maui sits against the barricade, his jaw clenched, rubbing the side of his face where Razor’s dropkick connected. Inside the ring, Sione remains motionless, his chest rising and falling in heavy, defeated breaths.
TODD: An absolute shocker tonight, Bama! American Storm, after taking their fair share of lumps in weeks past, end up securing a major win over Maui and Sione!
BAMA: It boggles the mind, Toddy! The Samoans came into this one with all the moxie of an amoxicillin bottle! But Razor and Hixx showed they don’t need synchronized yelling to be synched as a team! This looks like an all-new American Storm
TODD: Absolutely, Bama! American Storm had absorbed everything Maui and Sione had thrown at them—but in the end, their superior tactics, endurance, and brute force had completely dismantled the Samoan wrecking crew.
”Fah-Fah-Fah-Figarrrrrrrrrro!”
Sir Lionel Pennyfarthing, dressed in blue full-legged tights, his round heavy chest exposed, executes a deep knee lunge, stretching his calves.
”The DOG with the BLOG can speak TAGALOG.”
Suddenly, a knock at the door! Gene Bronagh, Lionel’s agent creeps into the door.
”L, glad to see you’re already warming up!”
Lionel executes another deep lunge.
”I’ll FLOG that DOG for BLOGGING in TAGALOG!”
”….Man, the vocal exercises you actors do are wild!”
Lionel raises up out of the lunge. ”Vocal exercises? No, I’m committing to memory training regimen for my dog, Figarro.”
…
”…Lionel, as your agent, it’s in my best interest not to learn more about personally.”
Lionel executes a backward roll, tumbling up to his feet.
”Well, then, you shall only learn what you already know: I am THE most talented performer to ever grace the stage!”
”Now…” Lionel snaps twice. ”Bequeath unto me mine script!”
”…Script?”
”A scrrrrrrrript, Eugene! How am I supposed to command the scene if I have not memorrrrreized my lines!”
”…Lionel, listen to me! There is NO script! This is an actual FI-“
”Unscripted? Ah, an improv! Ad-libbing!” Lionel rubs his hands together. ”The ultimate challenge! A well-trained parrot can recite, but a true master of stage can summon drama from thin air!”
”Lionel, seriously, lis-“
”The ultimate challenge! And one I accept!”
Suddenly, Gene’s pocket radio chirps.
”Wrangle your talent to gorilla for their match.”
”Ahhh, the show must go on!”
”L, PLEASE, before you go, I’ve gotta tell you something!”
”Don’t wish me luck, Eugene, for that is bad luck in the theatre!”
And with that, Pennyfarthing steps toward gorilla.
”…Welp.”
“Maybe his work will increase in value post-mortem.”
Tommy Wish
- vs -
Mr. Oz
- vs -
Cyph3R
- vs -
Sir Lionel Pennyfarthing Fatal Four Way
It shows Tommy in the shadows in a corridor somewhere on the X-Tron in a hoodie, then it fades back into the arena where the lights flicker and the camera see's him coming down to the ring in his jacket hoodie, with him waving a Kendo Stick around him. Then he nods his head to the beat, and he gives some fans some dap as he walks down to the ramp, then he slides into the ring, and gets on the turnbuckle and poses to the crowd with the stick in the air. Then he comes down from there, and sits on the corner as his theme fades off.
Todd: And here comes Tommy Wish! He's one of the longest tenured roster members of XWF: Anarchy for a reason. Tommy is the kind of guy who if he gets knocked down he just gets up, dusts himself off, and then smashes you over the head with a steelchair!
Bama: Tommy is a loose cannon! That THUG is capable of anything, if I was one of his opponents, I know I'd be watching out for him in that ring!
A choir stands on stage, in safe spots, as flame begins to erupt from the stage, as Oz walks out. It seems as if Oswald has literally paid for an entire metal orchestra, just to play him to the ring. As the first lick of the guitar hits the air and the drums start off, Oz starts to walk to the ring, dressed in a large white cloak covering his body. However, instead of entering the ring first, he waits. He stands there near the ring floor next to the edge of the ramp. He slowly pulls off the cloak, folds it and then places it on the edge of the ring, next to one of the posts before climbing onto the apron and over the top rope where he goes to his corner, sitting down as he waits for the bell.
Bama: Here comes the wizard of Oz himself! Big Oz has made a big name for himself on Anarchy, and his career in the XWF is becoming the stuff of legend. He's won Billion Dollar Championships, X-treme Championships, and he's even won the biggest belt in all of professional wrestling before: The Anarchy Championship! Oz might just be one of the favorites in there tonight.
Todd: No doubt about it Bama, Mr. Oz is as dangerous as he is wide!
“IMA BE THAT NAIL IN YOUR COFFIN!”
CYPH3R walks out to the ramp, clad in ring gear matching that of Tamako Ito, who is proudly standing next to him. He smirks and drinks in the boos from the crowd as Linkin Park’s “LIES GREED MISERY” plays over the speakers. He looks at the crowd from underneath his hoodie, then whips the hood off as the chorus hits.
He confidently walks down the ramp, hand-in-hand with Tamako, who is beaming at the crowd despite their heat. They make their way to the apron and Tamako holds down the ropes for CYPH3R to enter. In the ring he slowly walks to the ropes and leans forward, looking out into the audience. Tamako claps furiously and then takes CYPH3R’s hoodie as he prepares for the match.
Bama: And here comes CYPH3R!
Todd: How do you pronounce it like that? You know, with the three?
Bama: The same way you'd pronounce it with a 4, Todd! Come on, get with the program. We have one of the most talented, most devious wrestlers in the XWF making his way to the ring and all you want to talk about is 3s and 4s like a damn Count Toddula!
With Sir Lionel having arrived to the ring earlier, the bell rings and the action is underway! Lionel Pennyfarthing leans back against his turnbuckle corner and pulls a juicebox out of his pocket, sipping it casually while he just chills in the corner. Unperturbed by this unusual tactic, Oz and Wish charge right into the center of the ring, locking up in classic fashion. Tommy Wish uses all of his strength to stand his ground, but it's no use against the big man! Mr. Oz pushes Tommy Wish all the way back into his starting corner, holding him against the turnbuckle as if trying to set him up for some big move. Then, CYPH3R charges in and delivers a dropkick to Oz's back that squishes him into Tommy! CYPH3R quickly follows up the dropkick by scrambling to his feet and charging back into the corner with a splash atop both men!
Sir Lionel, meanwhile, is casually sipping his juicebox from the opposite corner as he watches his 3 competitors duke it out near the turnbuckle. CYPH3R tries to pick Tommy Wish up off the mat to get him in position for a move, but Tommy Wish punches him in the gut before grabbing him in a front facelock and slamming him down with a DDT. Tommy tries to press his newfound advantage against CYPH3R, but before he makes much progress Mr. Oz is up on his feet breaking up the party. Oz grabs CYPH3R and Tommy by their heads, before slamming their noggins together like two cheap beers. Then, Oz bodyslams CYPH3R to the mat before delivering a big heel kick to Tommy Wish that drops him to the mat like a sack of potatoes.
Todd: The action has been nothing but back-and-forth so far, Bama! I'm wondering when one of these competitors is going to take control of this match!
Bama: It looks like Oz is taking control right now, Todd! If you can't see that, then you need to go get your glasses checked!
Sir Lionel reacts dramatically to Oz's big man moves, cringing in pain and disgust everytime Oz so much as lays a finger on Tommy and CYPH3r. The dramatics annoy him so much so that Oz actually grows increasingly angry with him! Oz starts stomping across the ring, towards Lionel, scaring the bejeezus out of Lionel! Oz tries to grab a hold of Lionel to teach him a thing or two, but the wily coyote slips away and ducks into the opposite turnbuckle, angering Oz even further! Oz starts stomping once again towards the opposite corner to get at Lionel, but this time he's cut off by CYPH3R! CYPH3R leaps off the top rope, grabbing Oz by the head before flooring him with a flying tornado DDT! He hooks the leg!
Todd: That tornado DDT just about ripped Oz's head off!
Bama: This could be all she wrote right here!
1!
2!!
3-NO!
Lionel Pennyfarthing breaks up the pinfall with a big boot to CYPH3R's back!
Bama: About time that juice-sipping ninny got involved in the action! Lionel's just been hanging out in the background all match, doing a whole lotta' nothing!
Todd: Sir Lionel Pennyfarthing was clearly scouting out the competition, Bama- and now that it's just him and CYPH3R standing, I think we're about to see the talent and acumen that got him an XWF contract! This could be Sir Lionel's big moment!
As CYPH3R gets off Oz to confront his assailant, he notices that Sir Lionel has already checked out of the match once again. Sir Lionel is standing in the center of the ring, performing a series of very dramatic, aimed-at-the-back-of-the-room taunts- as if he were acting out a scene in a Shakespearian play. But playtime doesn't last for long, because CYPH3R swiftly brings Lionel back to reality with a BOOM, HEADSHOT superkick!
Bama: You were saying, Todd?
As Lionel lay lifeless on the floor, CYPH3R approaches him with a twisted grin. Instead of going for the pin, he simply raises up his boots...and delivers the SYSTEM CRASH curb stomp!
CYPH3R places a cocky boot on Lionel's chest for the pin.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner - CYPH3R
TODD: Next up, the we get one step closer to crowning the first ever Anarchy Tag Team Champions as the Bashmaster Classic rolls on!
The honeyed rasp of Atara's voice blares over the facility's PA in unison with those words appearing on the multitude of screens and displays littering the arena.
HELLO DOVES
The crowd pops and gets to their feet shouting in near total unison a single word.
OPA!
Arena lights start to pulse in time with the music and multiple vertical streams of pyro erupt across the front of stage. Strutting with purpose, Atara emerges from the back taking spot centerstage atop the ramp. Posing for the camera, a wink and kiss is given to the viewers at home.
TODD: Coming to the ring first, it’s Aphrodite Incarnate Atara Raven! She and her partner Marisol Vilaro made a statement in the last round against American Storm. They won with a double pin, Bama!
BAMA: Can’t say that the better team didn’t win, that’s for sure. But now the challenge is tougher as the stakes get even higher.
TODD: Now is her opportunity to prove that she is still the Goddess that can carry this brand!
The synthesized beat of Shake it Off By Taylor Swift begins to play over the public address system, as the opening lyrics soon begin, as the fans boo and flashes going off, people are waiting for the arrival of the Fitness Queen herself.
I stay out too late
Got nothing in my brain
That's what people say, mm-mm
That's what people say, mm-mm
As a spotlight is on the entrance ramp and the lights dim, first stepping out is none other than the legendary Snarktopus Nessa Wall, who smiles brightly before trash talking the fans as she smiles, before ordering a couple of stage hands to come out they each have a mirror in hand they face the entrance ramp, as soon out from the back steps La Marvillosa herself Marisol Vilaro.
I go on too many dates
But I can't make 'em stay
At least that's what people say, mm-mm
That's what people say, mm-mm
Marisol stops to admire herself in each mirror posing and showing off, what her hard work has given her and mouthing about how she’s the inspiration these out-of-shape people need. After a few moments of posing she brushes right past, giving her manager/mentor a hug before they head off with Nessa leading the way taking the time to give the fans at ringside a hard time for even trying to touch them.
But I keep cruisin'
Can't stop, won't stop movin'
It's like I got this music in my mind
Sayin' it's gonna be alright
Marisol herself takes the time to pose some more showing off her muscle, and trying to sell them on the VilaroFit mission, and how they need it to improve themselves, As the devious duo soon make their way toward the ring side area Nessa soon goes up the ring steps and takes the time to bark orders at the referee, showing him exactly how lower the ropes for herself, and her client, after being lectured by the Ambitchous one, the referee complies doing it exactly as Nessa demanded enters the ring and motions for Marisol to go up the steps, as she climbs up the steps she takes each moment to keep shilling her products, which doesn’t endear her to the fans, as she soon enters the ring under the rope and soon she rudely brushes past the referee as Nessa presents her to the booing fans as she raises her arms high in the air soaking in the boos, and catcalls.
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off (hoo-hoo-hoo)
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off (hoo-hoo-hoo)
Marisol then does a series of poses once again before turning around and gracing the other side of the area raising her arms high in the air and then doing a similar series of poses showing off her physique and how in shape she is. While Nessa claps her client before they head into their corner, and Nessa is getting Marisol psyched and going over the game plan as they wait for the opponents to enter.
TODD: And we’re back.
BAMA: Marisol Vilaro has turned more and more heads each and every Anarchy. These unlikely tag teams have really brought out the best in our competitors.
TODD: Seems like Bashmaster was onto something!
BAMA: Lets see if the Spanish striker can continue to impress as she and Atara take on her now rival Summer Page and Richard Powers!
S&M By Rhianna will play throughout the arena as the crowd cheers while Summer walks down the aisle. Summer gets to the ring side and walks up the ring stairs. Summer looks out at the crowd and raises her arms out to the crowd as the crowd cheers louder. Summer turns her attention to inside the ring where she motions to the referee to open the bottom and middle ropes so they can enter. Summer walks over to the closest ring corner and climbs up to the middle turnbuckle.
BAMA: Speaking of Summer Page, here she is. Say Todd, do you think that Summer is actually jealous of Vilaro’s spotlight?
TODD: I’m not going to say one way or the other, because I’m not inside her head. But I will tell you this: even if she were, the best remedy would be to secure the victory and move one step closer to those Anarchy Tag titles.
BAMA: Maybe you’re not in Summer’s head, but I know someone who is.
Richard Powers walks to the ring, with no music playing.
TODD: Richard Powers is so broke, he can’t afford to pay attention. But that hasn’t stopped him from borrowing a few bucks so he can be up Summer’s you-know-what.
BAMA: Her butt?
TODD: I wasn’t going to-
BAMA: He’s been calling Summer Page his Goddess, among other things.
TODD: And he wants Thaddeus Duke dead. Or worse.
BAMA: What’s worse than dead?
TODD: Double dead.
Richard Powers and Summer Page
- vs -
Atara Raven and Marisol Vilaro Bashmaster Classic Semi Final (Round 2)
2k Team Collab
The bell rings and we start off with Vilaro and Page!
The two of them square off in the center of the ring. Each of them knows what to expect, and in the opening minutes, there are a lot of ducks, dives, and counters to simple maneuvers. Page gets the upper hand but Vilaro stops her momentum with an eye rake. Marisol hits an enzugiri. Page lands in the corner where Mairsol chokes her with the bottom of her boot.
BAMA: The VilaroSystem is to gain the advantage by any means necessary!
TODD: Trust in Mari… to do what it takes!
Marisol drags Summer out of the corner and drops her with a DDT. She locks in a half boston crab, but Page pulls herself over to the ropes for the break. Vilaro doesn’t want to let go of the hold, and that's when Richard Powers wanders from his designated corner to make sure that the hold is released.
The referee tells Powers to get back to his corner while Vilaro drags Summer over to make the tag.
Atara Raven in now. She pulls Summer up and drops her with an exploder suplex. Atara goes for the cover.
1!
2!
Summer Page kicks out!
Atara locks in a reverse chinlock and Summer has to try to fight out of it. Richard Powers is playing to the crowd from his corner. Page pushes her way back up to her feet and drives her elbow into the chest of Atara. Atara counters with a boxing right hand. Page kicks Atara in the gut and drills her with a ddt!
TODD: Desperation DDT!
BAMA: Page has been in since the opening bell. She really needs to make a tag.
Summer crawls towards her corner but Atara Raven is able to make the tag to Marisol Vilaro first. Marisol runs in and grabs Page by the boot and drags her back away from Powers. Marisol pulls Page up and drops her right back down with a double-underhook suplex. She floats over for the cover!
1!
2!
Once more, Summer Page powers out at two!
Marisol grabs Page by the wrists, looking for the VilaróFit Facial, but Summer Page counters with a upward thrust kick that catches Vilaro under the chin! Marisol stumbles back into her corner where Atara Raven tags herself back in. She rushes over to stop Summer Page, but Page catches her with a Total Knockout superkick!
Page stumbles over to her corner, and makes the tag!
TODD: Huge swing of momentum there!
BAMA: And she makes the tag! Old DICKY boy is in this one and he’s coming HARD folks!
Powers is a house of fire, taking down both Raven and Vilaro with clotheslines and back body drops for each. Once the referee takes control of the situation, Powers continues to brawl with Atara. He tries to stick his hand in her mouth, but she drops down and punches him straight in the Richard! Priapus Punch, and the ref didn’t see it!
Themis gets back up to her feet, showboating. She calls for a big OPA! out of the crowd. Atara backs up to the ropes, sizes up her opponent, and comes charging forward with a JUDGEMENT OF PARIS!
No!
Richard Powers ducks, and rolls Atara up in a schoolgirl… boy…
1!
2!
3.. NO!
Not like that! Atara says as she powers Powers out of her just before the count of three!
TODD: She’s not falling for that one again, T!
BAMA: It almost worked. Richard had to try!
Richard back to his feet, he stumbles over to his corner where he tags in Summer Page. Page hops over the ropes and gets toe to toe with Atara. They share strikes with the fresher Page getting the upper hand. Atara goes for a kick, but Page ducks it and nails Atara with a backstabber!
Page goes for the cover!
1!
2!
Marisol Vilaro dives in and breaks up the pin!
BAMA: I’m not entirely sure that Vilaro had to do that-
TODD: She wasn’t going to take any chances.
Marisol continues stomping on Page until Richard Powers comes running in and KILL THAD DUKE to Marisol!
The referee is trying to break up the submission hold, but neither of them two are technically legal…
Vilaro begins to fade until she finally rakes the eyes of Powers, forcing him to break the mandible claw!
Summer Page is back up, though, and she dropkicks Vilaro in the back and sends her tumbling over the ropes and to the ringside floor below! Page moves to the ropes but Atara Raven drills her in the back of the head with a running forearm shot! Dazed, Raven locks Page in a t-bone and drops her down almost on the top of her head in the center of the ring!
Before she can take advantage, Powers is back in the ring!
He shoves Atty off of Page and is quickly escorted back to the apron by the ref. This gives Summer time to recover. She pops to and hits the PURE PERFECTION ON ATTY!
Vilaro is coming in from the floor to break the count- but Richard intercepts her!
1!
2!!
3!!!
WINNERS - Richard Powers and Summer Page
TODD: What a tough contest that was! But in the end it was Powers and Page who came together as a team to win here tonight.
BAMA: And now they go on to face either the Bastards or Roger and Borden for the Anarchy Tag Team Championships, baby!
Charlie makes his way down to the ring, jawing at the crowd as he does. Holding his TV Championship in the air. We see signs throughout the arena, and one camera zooms in on one that reads “Nickels Brings Change!”
Madison Dyson saunters out onto the ramp as a plume of gold smoke filters out.
TODD: How does she get the smoke so gold?
BAMA: She burns what she burns, Todd.
Madison Dyson then heads down the aisle confidently, bitching out any plebes that dare to boo her. She's often clad in elaborate feathery robes. The X-Tron shows a barrage of images of Madison kicking the holy living shit out of that abject loser Sean Parker and others, intercut with her name logo and a queen's crown laden with barbed wire. Once at the ring, she takes her time getting in, walking ginergly up the steps and demanding the official hold the ropes open for her.
TODD: Well the fans here are ready for an old fashioned XWF beat down!
BAMA: I bet they are, Todd!
Charlie Nickles
- vs -
Madison Dyson
The referee gives instructions to each competitor, and signals the bell.
TODD: Charlie is in fast, and hoists Dyson up with a scoop slam!
BAMA: Bouncing her off of the mat!
The fight escalates, and Charlie seems to have control, waylaying Dyson with a series of big moves. After a strong piledriver, Charlie looks around, sneering, and raises his arms to the crowd with his back to Dyson, but out of nowhere, she kips up to her feet! The crowd is going bananas, but Charlie is soaking it in like they’re excited for him!
TODD: Charlie should turn around!
BAMA: Charlie should exit the ring, I feel, it would probably be way better for him.
Charlie turns and sees Dyson on her feet! He comes in with a big overhand right!
TODD: Oh my, Madison Dyson blocking that blow!
BAMA: She grabs Charlie by his beard!
Dyson initiates a hair pull airplane spin using Charlie’s facial hair! The crowd chants along with the rotations!
*1!*
*2!*
*3!*
*4!*
*5!*
*6!*
*7!*
*8!*
*9!*
*10!*
Dyson releases Charlie, allowing him to crumple to the mat, as she leans against the ropes, having dizzied herself.
TODD: The dreaded hair pull airplane spin, Bama.
BAMA: Right, Todd. All the blood in Charlie’s body is now near his feet, he’s dazed and woozy!
TODD: So is Dyson!
Charlie staggers to his feet as Dyson watches him.
TODD: Charlie is on dream street!
BAMA: More like Elm Street!
Charlie weeble-wobbles towards Dyson, and she catches him with the Miss Feel Good!
TODD: And the cover!
1…
2…
3!
WINNER: Madison Dyson!
TODD: Dyson just pinned the TV Champion, Bama!
BAMA: Dicey baby said that Charlie was destined to always be pushing the rock up that hill. And tonight that hill was Madison Dyson, baby. Too steep for Charlie to climb!
An all black limousine pulls into the Nassau Coliseum and the fans of XWF are watching on in suspense. Justin York steps out of the limousine and straightens out his suit. He is wearing dark tinted sunshades in favor of his eye patch.
York walks the halls of the Coliseum heading toward the ring, he is catching eyes left right and center.
“One For The Money” by escape the fate hits the PA system like a gunshot and the crowd erupts into boo’s as he steps out onto the stage. York fails his arms out and smirks, soaking up every minute of the hatred that fuels him. He walks to the ring and grabs a microphone from the timekeepers position before grabbing a chair and rolling into the ring. He sets the chair up in the middle of the ring and takes a seat.
“Thank you, Thank you all so much for the warm welcome. Fortunately for me I’m not here to address a bunch of blood sucking leeches that don’t have any talent because if you did you’d be in this goddamn ring!”
York holds the microphone out to the crowd, anticipating the boos which he receives
“Oh shut your dicksuckers, you’re gonna breathe that nasty gonorrhea breath on the person next to you!”
York laughs to himself while everyone quiets down suddenly.
“Wow, you listened. Allow me to speak on the reason im here. There is a man that has grabbed my attention, he’s probably backstage playing with his two inch wiener and he needs a good ol fashioned ass whoopin. Now I know he isn’t gonna waltz out here because that requires some sort of balls but I’m putting it out there into the universe.”
York stands from the chair and walks to the ropes and looks right into the hard cam.
“Mathias Syn! I’ll be seeing you real soon and you will like the rest of this junkie town, kneel to your fucking king!”
York tosses the microphone to the mat, drops down and rolls out of the ring. There's a young boy at ringside that asks for an autograph on the way out. York takes his pen and signs his autograph before blowing his nose on it and tearing it up and throwing it in the parents face. York laughs and exits the arena to garbage being tossed at him.
TODD: Big words from Justin York there who seems to have his focus squarely set on our Revolution Champion, Matthias Syn!
The show returns from commercial with 'Cavortin' Jake Borden already in the ring.
He stretches his arm across his chest, hopping from one foot to the other!
But he’s soon joined by his tag team partner tonight, Roger.He is brave and heroic now so he no longer gets spooked when the sparkly sparklers go off behind him while he has to walk to the ring.
TODD: Ok, first of all, it’s great to see that Jake Borden was rescued from whatever internet prison Cyph3r locked him inside of. But I have some questions about this match up. Like first and foremost, when did Roger qualify for the Bashmaster Classic?
BAMA: When did the Bastards qualify for this tournament?
Todd shrugs
TODD: When did Richard Powers qualify?!
BAMA: Look alls I knows is it’s just like Bashmaster said: “Quality always qualifies, baby!
TODD: Did he really say that?
Bama shrugs
The entirely epic XTron video of TNGB takes over the arena as the lights dim. A spotlight highlights the ramp, and Thunder Knuckles walks out onto the entrance ramp, hyped and ready to fight, pointing out into the crowd. Behind him, Bobby Bourbon deliberately walks out and stops, also pointing out into the crowd. Both men glance at each other and return their attention to the ring, delivering a no-look fistbump, then in unison point into the ring. The crowd sings along with the song.
*ASSHOLE, DIRTBAG, NO GOOD BASTARDS!*stomp stomp*
TK slides into the ring and gets up onto a knee, beckoning the crowd as Bobby climbs the steps and enters the ring behind him. TK stands and appeals to the crowd as Bobby raises his arms at 45-degree angles.
Roger and “Cavortin’” Jake Borden
- vs - Them No Good Bastards
Bobby Bourbon & Thunder Knuckles Bashmaster Classic Semi Final (Round 2)
2K Team Collab
Roger and Bobby Bourbon agree to start in the ring.
BAMA: Just look at the size difference, baby! Real David vs Goliath feel.
TODD: It kinda reminds me of when I have to look after my nephew and he just stares at me with that dumbfounded look when I ask him to do something.
BAMA: Damn, your nephew must be huge!
DING! DING!
Bobby and Roger come out of their corners, Roger showing that he can move on every axis like a champ as he closes in on Bourbon who lunges forward into a collar and elbow tie-up; Bobby easily overpowers Roger and gets him in a headlock and dropping to a knee before reeling a heavy arm back and walloping Roger in the face who stumbles back and shakes the cobwebs before throwing himself into the ropes and sprinting at Bourbon, Bobby runs in with a clothesline which Roger ducks under and continues running and goes to leapfrog over Bobby but Bourbon catches him and throws him down with a-
BAMA: BOBBYBOMB!!!
Bobby spikes Roger into the canvas and he clutches his back kicking his legs in a circle as Jake stomps and claps to rouse his partner.
TODD: This early in the match isn’t going to win it but is definitely gonna slow Roger down!
Bourbon calls out to TK and grabs Roger by the ankle dragging him over to his corner and tagging Thunder Knuckles in!
Bobby still holds Roger’s ankle, Thunder Knuckles grabs the other and both men rip back!
TODD: WISH-BONE! That’s gotta hurt!
It does! As Roger bounces on the canvas holding his, possibly torn, groin.
BAMA: This is how the best tag team the XWF has ever seen operate, Toddy! The cohesion, collaboration and… Uh…
TODD: Comradery?
BAMA: Yeah! Thanks, baby!
Thunder Knuckles kicks at Roger who tries to crawl to his corner as Borden is lent over the top rope for the tag, as he is inches away TK grabs Roger and pulls him all the way back to the center of the ring to the boos of the crowd; TK smiles to the fans begging for more before he grabs Roger’s hair and pulls him to his feet, Roger swings wildly with grazing hits but TK no sells them as he lifts Roger up and drops him like a sack of potatoes with a nasty Alabama Slam!
Wind leaves Roger’s lungs as he is slammed down but TK keeps ahold of Roger’s ankles and looks to Borden smack talking him before TK stomps down on Roger’s meat and two veg! The crowd are ready to start a riot as they boo loudly and begin to throw trash into the ring and the ref gets in TK’s face admonishing him who simply throws up his palms claiming it was an accident.
BAMA: TK is in his element right now! You love to see it Todd!
TODD: Man, I feel sorry for Roger, I bet his future grandkids felt that cheap shot.
As TK fast talks the ref Bobby yells out as Roger is about to tag in Borden!
Borden’s hand is out!
Roger goes to tag!
But he’s millimeters away as TK drags Roger away; the crowd grow rabid!
Thunder Knuckles plucks Roger back to his feet and grabs his collar and waist before launching him into his corner. Roger trips over and lands upside down into the corner as Bourbon helps him into the Tree of Woe position, once again getting shit from the ref, and TK gives a few hard stomps down into Roger’s sternum before tagging Bobby back in.
Bobby climbs up to the top turnbuckle as TK grabs Roger’s arm and steps back leaving Roger suspended in the air with his feet around the turnbuckle. Bobby is ready to leap but Roger gets his second wind and drops his legs pulling TK forward and into the corner causing Bobby to lose his balance and land on top of Thunder Knuckles!
Roger sprints out and leaps for the tag to Borden!
Huge pop from the crowd as Borden goes FULL FORCE and takes TK down with a running axe-handle!
Bobby steps up but Borden lands another axe-handle and pushes Bourbon into the corner! As TK is on his hands and knees Borden hits the ropes and lands a cellar dropkick into TK’s head and forces him out of the ring!
Borden kips up and sprints into the corner, wrapping his arm around Bobby’s neck and dropping him with a running corner bulldog!
Borden gets to his feet and pumps his fists to the roar of the crowd! He tags Roger!
Roger is SKIDDING into the ring! The attack cleans TK’s clock on the apron. He then SKIDS over at Bobby who – — POPS ROGER UP — —
BOBBY BOMB
Is countered!
Roger jumps out of Bobby’s arms and tags Borden back into the match!
FULL FORCE BODY SLAM!
Borden covers
1!
2!!
3!!!
WINNERS: “Cavortin’” Jake Borden and Roger!
TODD: An unbelievable win here tonight!
BAMA:Borden and Roger just took down one of the greatest tag teams in XWF history, baby. They look like they ready for some gold of their own!
As Borden and Roger celebrate in the ring, the feed cuts backstage where we see Powers and PAge studying their future opponents from the monitors.
[/align]
TODD: And just like that folks, it’s time for our main event of the evening!
BAMA: Big fight feel, baby! The newly minted XTreme Champion coming to make his defense on Anarchy, against the bright shining baby-boy Dommie Strife.
TODD: Strife a more than proven competitor so far in his career here on Anarchy. If were to win here tonight, he would suddenly thrust himself into the wider XWF.
The opening riff of AC/DC's "Shoot to Thrill" blares suddenly over the public announce speakers. The drums come crashing in, along with the rest of the instrumental section. Soon after, Dominick Strife steps out onto the stage, followed closely by his valet Isla Burke.
Rochelle Adams: Making his way to the ring at this time, accompanied by Isla Burke. He hails from White Marsh, Maryland - Ladies and Gentlemen, DOMINICK STRIFE!
The two walk down the ramp and up the nearside ring steps. Dominick holds the ropes for Isla to step into the ring and he follows after. The two of them look out to the crowd before striking a pose. After a few last minute words of advice, Isla wishes him luck and steps out of the ring. Dom starts warming up in his corner.
The show is quickly interrupted by the sound of a distant synthesizer, followed up by horses neighing and galloping through the dirt. It fades out, leading into the riff of a guitar strumming a fiery tune. There's an inherent electricity building within the air of the arena, culminating as the drums kick in. As they do, the steadfast figure of Scoops McGee comes out from the back, a look of no nonsense etched onto his face as he takes a long look at the crowd and the squared circle.
He nods, steadily walking to the ring and absentmindedly high-fiving any fans stretching out their hands who happen to be right in his way. He makes his way over to ringside, climbing up the steps methodically and stepping onto the ring apron. He saunters about halfway across the apron, taking one last long look at the crowd as they give their reception to the seasoned vet. Scoops stretches his arms out wide, accepting everything they've got to give before stepping into the ring.
Scoops skulks over to his corner, pacing there and doing some small stretches to keep himself warmed up before the match begins.
The bell rings and this Xtreme Championship is officially on the books!
Strife and Scoops each start off as you’d imagine. Dom with some young gun strength to him, he whips the older scoops into the ropes and hits a back body drop followed by some mounted punches. The old hardcore gunslinger gets rough with Dom on the mat, punches, kicks, forearms to counter Doms attack, and now these two have rolled out of the ring where the violence begins to escalate!
TODD: Strife said that Scoops was just a soldier ready to die in the ring, and that she’s going to be the one to end it for him here tonight, and end his reign with the Xtreme Championship.
BAMA: Strife better be careful baby, Scoops might be an old dog, but he said he’s the big dog! One you don’t feed no treats to, one you run away from the maulin of.
The fight turns Xtreme after Scoops bashes Dom’s head into the guardrail. He grabs a chair and cracks Dom across the spine. After a back suplex on the chair, Scoops covers!
1!
2!!
But Dom kicks out!
The fight progresses now, over the guardrail and into the audience. Dom and scoops fight around the arena, until a big scissor kick from Dom turns the tides. With Scoops stunned from the kick, Dom takes advantage and back body drops Scoops from into a nearby table holding sound equipment. Sparks fly as Scoops crash through the table
Dom covers!
1!
2!!
Somehow Scoops kicksout!
The match continues on and grows even more violent.
Dom has led Scoops around to the entrance ramp now, attacking him with a chair. Forcing him back. near ringside as Scoops takes a tumble down the ramp. Dom swings with the chair again, but Scoops ducks. The steel chair hits the steel post and jars Dom. Scoops gets the chair and takes his turn going to town. Only Scoops has more ideas. After an ugly headshot with the chair flattens Dom, Scoops gets under the ring and pulls out a roll of barbed wire. He proceeds to wrap it around the chair. Scoops climbs up the ring steps, and tucks the chair under his arm. He dives and elbow drops Dom with the barbed wire chair.
He pins!
1!
2!!
Dom kicks out!
Both men have been fighting their asses off. Big move after big move on the outside of the ring, but neither can put the other down! Scoops, bleeding from his forehead, clobbers Dom in the nose with a straight right punch, and then hits his Cattle Prod short forearm attack. With Dom down again, Scoops picks up the chair. He swings with all his might, but Dom rolls out of the way. Now it’s Scoops who’s jarred! Dom gets to his feet and rips the chair away from Scoops. Leading him back into the ring.
The match carries on in the ring now, with more trading chair shots, and big movies. Eventually the two men are just clobbering each other, their arms around one another’s necks.
BAMA: This match has descended into an all out brawl!
Scoops and Dominick are now just trading wild blows! Punches are flying fast and furious!
TODD: What a match this has been so far! And it’s still anybody’s game!
But finally, Scoops manages to get the advantage over the smaller Strife, laying into him with a one two punch of devastating haymakers! Scoops then hits the ropes, using them for momentum so he can nail Strife with a massive lariat that turns the young man inside out!
BAMA: Oh, that could be a deciding factor here![blue]
Dominick looks down and out and Scoops surveys the crowd, feeling the tidal shift in momentum and taking a very brief moment to appreciate the good will they’re sending his way.
But then….
[blue]TODD: Wait, somebody’s running to the ring! Who the hell…?
BAMA: It’s MADISON DYSON! Dominick’s some time tag team partner!
Madison hits the ring and slides under the bottom rope. Scoops has his back to her! Madison gets behind Scoops and….DIRTY LOW BLOW FROM BEHIND!
BAMA: OH! RIGHT IN THE BOJANGLES!
Scoops calls out in pain and sinks down to his knees, holding his groin! Madison runs over to Dom and shakes him to rouse him out of his stupor! Madison then slides out of the ring.
TODD: I don’t think Dominick Strife is fully aware of what just happened here!
Dominick sees Scoops struggling to get to his feet, still holding his groin. And Dominick is savvy enough to see a prime opportunity when one arises! He gets up and stomps his foot on the canvas once…
TODD: Oh, is it really going to end this way?!
…twice….
BAMA: I think we’re about to see…
Just as Scoops rises, picking the chair back up
Dom unloads with the PLAY TO KILLL SUPERKICK! He tags Scoops right in the head, kicking the chair into his face, and Scoops drops like a sack of hammers! Dominick jumps on him for the cover!
1…..
2….
3!!!!!!
WINNER….and NEW X-TREME CHAMPION….DOMINICK STRIFE!!!
BAMA: The kid did it! I’ll be damned!
TODD: Yeah, but with a major assist from Madison Dyson!
In the ring, the ref presents Dom with the X-Treme championship! Dom looks ecstatic and he holds it in the air. And that’s when he notices Madison at ring side, clapping for him! We see Dom mouth “Madison?” in confusion.
TODD: Well regardless of how it went down, young Dominick Strife picks up what is likely the biggest win of his career! Dominick Strife’s first taste of gold in XWF!
BAMA: Baby it’s one thing to win the Xtreme title, it’s a whole other ballgame trying to retain it, and chase that bad baby to a 24/7 case!
TODD:Scoops fought his tail off here tonight to defend it, in a valiant effort. But tonight the Dominick Strife reign as Xtreme Champ begins!
That’s all the time we have tonight folks! See you on the next Anarchy!
A Special Thanks to:
Sir Lionel Pennyfarthing
Justin York
Charlie Dimes
Jackie Peppers
Promo Sins
The Engineer
Jimmy Stars
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