Sebastian Everett-Bryce
- vs -
Cypher
- vs -
Prince Adeyemi
- vs -
Matthias Syn
- vs -
Game Girl
- vs -
Shawn Warstein
Lumberjacks: The 24 Roster Members Of The WarGames Draft Pool Over-The-Top Elimination Rumble To Determine The Draft Order For WarGames.
The Ring Will Be Surrounded By The WarGames Draftees
[The lumberjacks are encouraged to submit a 500 word limit segment declaring their intentions for this contest. Who might they help, who might they try and stop, which captain they'd perfer draft them, etc.]
”Sheila!” Peter Principle, the new GM of Warfare, peeked his head out of his office. ”Any calls for me?”
A frizzy-haired secretary looks up from phone with a smile, opening her drawer full of sticky-notes…
”Yes, a few calls!”
Peter grins. ”Everybody trying to get ahold of DA BOSS.” He says, doing an impression, though it’s not particularly clear of who or what.
”Yes… Mister Logan left a message about locking down his TV Title match at WarGames with Mastermind…” Sheila says, lifting one sticky note.
”Yes!” Peter nods.
[TALKING HEAD]
”If you want to keep company morale high? Tell people ‘yes’. It’s the best word. Everyone loves hearing it.”
Peter looks to his left.
”Peter, can we have a pizza party?”
Peter looks back to his right.
”Yes!”
To the left.
”Peter, can we install a sex swing in the break room?”
To the right!
”Yes!”
To the left.
”Peter, it’s Mister Lane… Can I talk to you about approving too many requests from office staff?”
To the right.
”Yes!”
Nadine pulls out another sticky note.
”We got a call from a mister… Master Mind?”
”Yes!” Peter nods happily. ”Whatever he wants!”
…Nadine grits her teeth nervously.
”Um, full disclosure… He wants management approval to… destroy Razor Blade?”
…
Principle grits *his* teeth, thoughtfully.
”oooooh… Uh…”
Principle tsks thoughtfully.
…
”You know what? Yes!” Peter chuckles. ”I’m sure he means, like, ‘destroy’ in the ring or whatever, that’ll be fine…”
LATER
Quote:“Razor Blade, I have been given the green light from management to destroy you, and so that is my plan on the up coming Warfare. To destroy you.
…
The TV shuts off.
…Peter is nervously eyeing the executive chair, which is sewn to look like piano keys from top-to-bottom.
The chair spins around and sitting in the chair…
Is XWF Owner, ‘Loverboy’ Vinnie Lane!
”So, Pete, my dude… I’ve heard through vibes are off and the waves are mucho gnarly around the lockers. Sup with that?”
…Principle nervously chuckles.
”W-w-what?!? Things are great! Everyone’s getting what they want! What have you heard that makes you think ‘vibes are off’, Mister Lane?”
”Oh, y’know, this-n-that…”
“The TV champ quitting.”
“Two militant commandos throwing soup cans at employees in last week’s main event.”
“Somebody keeps sliding 'join the wrestling union' pamphlets under my door.”
"Mastermind is claiming an XWF executive gave him permission to 'destroy' his coworker.
…
“Plus, Thad has a *beard* now.”
Vinnie extends his hands out… and tilts them unevenly.
”S’what I mean, Petey. Vibes… off.”
Peter dry-swallows.
”Don’t worry, sir! I know exactly how to reset the vibes to the old classic XWF! The opener tonight is a Barney Green hardcore match! And it’s against up-n-coming star, Adam Garcia!”
Vinnie gives that news a shaka-fist.
”Oh, dope! That sounds like exactly the sort of thing to calm the waves and reset our levels to copacetic, Petey!”
Principle grins, as Nadine slips into Vinnie’s door and quick-steps across the floor.
”Yes, I thought s-”
Nadine rushes up to Principle, whispering in his ear.
Principle squints, listening.
”What’s that?”
…Nadine whispers.
”Barney’s not here?”
…
”Neither is Adam?”
…
”Well, where are they?”
…
”Gone?”
…
”Someone approved their vacation request *after* they got booked?”
…
……
”Oh. *I* approved their vacation request after they got booked?”
…
”This was while I was saying ‘yes’ to everyone’s requests in an effort to approve employee morale?”
…
”And I should stop repeating aloud what you're whispering to me?”
…
Principle looks at Vinnie, who is smacking the top of his vintage TV.
”Stupid stereovision! I can’t see the Green machine on my airwaves!”
Vinnie turns around…
”Pete street! Could you take a look at my scr-”
…
When Lane turns around, Peter and Nadine are gone.
Peter peeks his head out of his office.
”Nadine, I’m… uh… locking myself in. To work on a big project that will improve company morale!”
Nadine nods.
”What should I say if someone asks to see you?”
…Peter smiles.
Well, say ye-...” …Peter stops himself. ”Er, NO.”
Slam.
Lock sound.
…
Blinds open, as Peter very apparently peers out of his office, thinking he’s being sneaky.
BG: The new boss struggling to quell some employee dissatisfaction, huh, Jacko!
JC: Well, while Peter Principle may be struggling to keep his employees happy, we’ve got an absolutely stacked card! Even without the Green-Garcia opener!
BG: Indeed, Jacko! We’ve got the continuation of our main event story last Warfare, as Madison Dyson goes toe-to-toe with the Divine Being that cost her and Dolly a 24/7 briefcase, David Doe!
JC: We’ve got the NEW Television Champion Mastermind facing his first challenger, Razor Blade… With Bulk Logan announcing his intentions to challenge for the TV belt at WarGames? Anything can happen!
BG: THEN! We’ve got an absolutely INSANE X-Treme Rules Tag-Team match! With JonatahN Bacchus and Jules taking on The #1 contenders to the XWF Tag-Team Titles, The STARS of Combat! And Bacchus’ new X-Treme title WILL be on the line!
JC: And finally, WarGames season is in FULL SWING! ALL SIX CAPTAINS will be competing in over-the-top battle royal to determine draft order for the BIGGEST MATCH OF THE YEAR! WARGAMES!
BG: We’ll have special guests! Surprises galore! Don’t touch that dial, XWF fans! This one’s gonna get WILD!
Madison Dyson saunters out onto the ramp as a plume of gold smoke filters out.
JC: Madison Dyson does not look happy tonight here, Brody!
BG: What’s there to happy about, Jacko? The MAGA squad of Misty Waters and Madison Dyson came ONE match short of a 24/7 briefcase! And with it, likely control of the Universal Title!
JC: But, their two-on-one beatdown of Jonathan Bacchus took on surprising interference! Two masked men made their presence known and attacked Dyson and Waters, allowing Bacchus to score the pin and the X-Treme title!
BG: Nothing Dyson can do will reverse the result of last week… but she can inflict a horrifying amount of anguish and torture on one of the two interlopers tonight!
Madison Dyson then heads down the aisle confidently, bitching out any plebes that dare to boo her. She's often clad in elaborate feathery robes. The X-Tron shows a barrage of images of Madison kicking the holy living shit out of that abject loser Sean Parker and others, intercut with her name logo and a queen's crown laden with barbed wire. Once at the ring, she takes her time getting in, walking gingerly up the steps and demanding the official hold the ropes open for her.
The arena plunges into darkness as eerie, otherworldly whispers fill the air, gradually rising in intensity. A dim, pulsing blue light illuminates the stage casting strange twisting shadows as "Sadness - i want to be with you" begins to play, its melancholic notes resonating through the venue. As the haunting melody builds a figure slowly emerges from the mist - David Doe, The Divine Golem. His face is calm and expressionless, yet there's a faint, unsettling glow in his eyes as though they pierce through dimensions unseen.
JC: Here he is! David Doe! The Divine Golem! If my scouting reports are to be believed, he is… *checks notes*... a God in human form.
BG: He doesn’t look like much of a God to me, Jack.
JC: The reports don’t lie, Brody!
David strides down the ramp with an almost childlike curiosity, his head tilting as he surveys the crowd as if experiencing this reality for the first time. His steps are measured, deliberate, each footfall echoing ominously. He pauses before entering the ring, glancing at the ropes with a quizzical expression before awkwardly slipping through them.
BG: Well, while he looks a little astonished and full of wonder right now… He knew *exactly* what he was doing when he stuck his nose in Madison’s match last Warfare, Jack!
JC: Absolutely, Brody. These two made it clear this week that they do NOT like each other!
BG: And it’s no disqualifications, Jack! The official is only there to count pins… There’s no rules stopping these two from inflicting ABSURD, ULTRA VIOLENCE on each other!
Once inside, he moves to the centre of the ring, standing perfectly still as the lights return to normal. For a moment, he simply gazes around, as if waiting for the next incomprehensible challenge.
Dyson is muttering to herself in the corner, psyching herself up, obviously spitting furious at this supposed Divine Being.
…Doe regards Dyson entirely neutrally. Like an adult human might an ant or a bit of fluff on their floor.
Small, insignificant and utterly beneath him.
Dyson gets that vibe off her opponent and that only serves to piss her off more!
The referee has no interest in getting between these two and just signals for the bell!
DING DING
Madison Dyson
- vs -
David Doe No Disqualification
The moment the bell rings, Madison reaches into her chest…
David stares on, perplexed at this peculiar choice.
JC: Dyson wasting no time using the no DQ stip! She’s snuck a weapon with her to the ring!
Dyson whips out from her chest…
A wooden cross!
JC: Dyson, Fox News Culture Warrior, appears to have brought… a cross with her? Perhaps to attempt to exorcise this demon from another plane of reality?
BG: OH SHIT! GO BACK TO HELL, GOD!
Dyson holds the cross aloft, pointing it at the Divine Golem! Menacingly!
…
Doe squints it at confused.
…
…It has no effect…
JC: Limited result here from Dyson’s Plan A.
BG: I’m sure any vampires in the first through third rows feel properly menaced, though!
David eyes the implement closely, trying to determine its purpose and significance.
…Dyson stares down at her symbolic weapon of religious iconography, clearly somewhat disappointed.
…Before, she reaches her other hand onto the cross…
And it… separates!
JC: Oh snap! Dyson’s wooden cross actually serves as a scabbard… for a wooden stake!
BG:...Again, that’s vampires, Madison!
…Despite the apparent danger, Doe continues to regard this activity with fascination an-
SHWAK! Dyson jabs the stake into Doe’s chest! The sharp implement sticks straight out of Doe’s pectoral!
BG: OH SHIT! Dyson just stabbed Doe straight into his chest!
JC: Turns out you don’t need to be Dracula to get staked! Welcome to the XWF, David Doe!
Doe stumbles backward, blood dripping down his chest…
As Dyson hits the mat, wraps her leg around Doe’s heel, going for a drop toehold, driving Doe onto his face…
JC: Oh my! If Dyson succeeds with that drop toehold, David will drop onto his front… Straight onto the stake currently embedded four inches deep into his pectoral muscle!
DYSON TWISTS AS HARD AS SHE CAN!
…
…But Doe keeps his footing!
Not like he’s resisting the attack… But more like Dyson was trying to drop-toehold a statue of solid marble!
BG: …Daaaaaaaaaang.
JC: Doe may not look particularly godlike, but clearly has the balance of a force of nature! Dyson can’t move him an INCH from where he wants to be!
Dyson scoffs irritatedly… as she somersaults backward, onto her feet, ready to resume the attack!
But, just as she returns to her feet… Just in time to see Doe peel the stake out of new wound in his chest…
JC: Uh oh! Bad news for Dyson! Doe has removed the stake from his chest and is wielding it!
BG: …Okay, but, so far, Doe has been totally passive! Dyson! Take it from him and stab him again!
…Dyson grits her teeth… She surges forward, reaching to disarm the Divine Golem…
But Doe instead slides the stake forward, piercing through Dyson’s offensive…
AND DRIVING THE STAKE INTO DYSON’S GUT!
BG: OH FUCK! OH MY GAWD! Dyson just got eviscerated!
JC: …Not quite, Brody! It looks like all that time in the gym has paid off! Though there is a clear flesh wound, it appears the stake failed to pierce Madison Dyson’s rockhard abs! …But, right now, Doe still has the stake!
Indeed! Dyson luckily avoids getting gutted in the ring, blood running down her side! Doe retrieves the stake, looking to repeat the attack…
But Dyson nopes away from the murderous divine creature, sliding under the bottom rope!
JC: Dyson exits the ring, making a strategic retreat to regroup!
…
JC: Or, also possible, avoid getting stabbed again!
Doe, still wielding the wooden stake, curiously follows her out and under the bottom rope, mimicking rolling under the bottom rope… Not necessarily in pursuit, but trying to determine where the action might go from here
Dyson, covering her freshly stabbed side… turns the corner, around the post…
And dips under the apron and under the ring!
BG: Dyson clearly getting desperate here!
Doe gets around the corner…
But Dyson is gone!
JC: It appears as if Doe has lost sight of his opponent here!
BG: …Hmm, wait. If Doe is a God, should he be omniscient as see everything?
JC: He’s also a nascent being, only born into this vessel very recently, Brody! So, does he perhaps lack object permanence?
BG: …Whoa. So maybe he can see everything but when he looks away, he thinks it stops existing?
JC: Maybe it does, Brody! Maybe it does!
…
JC: Anyway, back to the match…
Doe peers curiously, eyeing up the ramp… The front row… He’s clearly not sure where his opponent could have gone off t-
Schwip! Dyson slides between Doe’s legs…
And what’s she got in her hands?
A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
JC: Oh my!
Rather than assuming a defensive stance, Doe looks down at Dyson, with curiosity and wond-
FSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
A constant, seemingly infinite stream of flame- form shooting directly into the Divine Golem’s eyes!
BG: Wait, what word just got censored?
JC: The politically correct term nowadays is "flame-special-needs-ant".
Doe shields his face, dropping the stake to the outside!
BG: Oh my! David Doe, previously regarding this match with the emotional distance of a higher being… Looks to be in anguish after that attack!
For the first time, the Divine Being might feel pain! His teeth grit as he rapidly tries to wipe away the burning substance coating his eyes…
As Dyson shoots up to her feet… She swings the extinguisher around her head like a shotputter…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand!
KERACK!
THE METAL EXTINGUISHER NEARLY CAVES IN DOE’S HEAD!
The Divine Golem drops like a sack of potatoes to the outside!
BG: Wha-OW!! Dyson almost decapitated the Divine Golem!
Dyson, not wasting any time, scoops Doe by the scruff of his neck, sliding him into the ring…
The official prepares to count as Dyson turns the Divine Golem onto his back, hooking the leg
1!
T-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
BG: WHAT?!?
JC: Amazing! After that discus STRIKE with the fire extinguisher, David Doe, the Divine Golem, kicks out at the count of ONE!
…The crowd is stunned!
Dyson is shocked and horrified…
…Doe starts to work his way up to his feet…
No longer looking curious…
But FURIOUS.
Dyson rolls under the bottom rope, charging for the timekeeper.
She tells the chubby cuck with his little ring bell to GET OUTTA THE WAY! He does so, and she grabs the chair under him!
JC: Dyson’s weapon of choice! That’s what won her control in the three-way weapon off last week with Misty and Bacchus!
Doe works his way back to his knees as Dyson slides under the ropes with the chair…
As Doe wipes away the last trails of substance from his eyes, Dyson reels it back, lifting it over her h-
WHAM! As Dyson reels back, Doe’s knee seems to transcend time and space! As if, one second, it was on the mat, the next, it is connected with her face!
JC: Oh my God! This kid is quicker than lightning!
Dyson’s hands drop the chair… She rebounds back toward the ropes… Off the ropes… Into Doe’s arms…
Who latches a front-facelock… AND TEARS OFF A SNAP SUPLEX! …It looks clumsy!
Doe latches onto an… nontraditional cover… The official drops to count!
1!
2!
THR-NOOOO!
Dyson forces a shoulder off the mat!
BG: Dyson somehow stays alive here!
JC: If Doe put his weight properly ontop of her shoulders, that could’ve gotten a three-count right there!
Doe rolls off onto his feet… As Dyson’s mitts reach for the steel chair…
Doe reaches out, wrapping his hands around Dyson’s legs…
But Dyson DRIVES the chair forward, catching Doe in the ribs…
Doe doubles over, the oxygen driven from his lungs…
Dyson’s lungs heave, as she again lifts the chair over her head, looking to decapitate the nascent G-
WHAM! Doe, in a flash, plants Dyson against the mat with a big boot to the skull!
Dyson’s back slams against her own chair!
BG: NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
JC: Dyson might be in trouble here! Dyson is one of the XWF’s best competitors… but she’s in the ring with a literal God!
…
JC: According to scouting reports!
Doe sets his feet… standing by the ropes…
Dyson slowly peels herself off the mat, looking worn-out by the non-traditional offense of the mysterious ‘anime boy’...
…
Dyson slowly turns around.
…
As Doe’s foot propels through space…
INFINITE VOID!
…
……
MISSED!
JC: WOW! Dyson sidestepped a GOD!
Indeed, Dyson found the will and ability to narrowly slip left of Doe’s spacetime altering superkick!
She neatly slips behind Doe and latches him into a schoolboy pin!
The official counts!
1!
Doe’s legs kick wildly, trying to understand the predicament he finds himself in!
2!
His shoulders are pressed against the mat, but when he tries to rise up, something is stopping him! Is it his opp-
THREE!
WINNER: MADISON DYSON!
Before David Doe can come to understand the mechanics of a schoolboy pin, Dyson has stolen the win!
BG: YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Dyson rolls her way under the bottom rope, ducking outside the ring, and backing up the ramp!
…Doe looks perplexed… Like he doesn’t understand why the fight ended!
JC: A small package pin is NOT how most no DQ matches end, Brody!
BG: Shuddup, Jack! This is UNHEARD OF! Madison Dyson just defeated a LITERAL GOD!
The official has jogged up beside Madison at the top of the ramp to lift her arm in vic-
WHAM! Dyson screeches at the official not to touch her, as she stews angrily staring back at the ring!
Doe seems utterly unfazed… Though with a slightest twinge of irritation… As if learning his mistake and committing it to memory.
JC: Well, Madison Dyson gets the win tonight, though I have to imagine she pictured a much more violent, devastating end for David Doe! You have to imagine both these two are going to come to a rematch with a whole new gameplan!
High upon that mountain of Gods, Olympus, the daughters of Themis had convened. Thread in hand, three sisters, whose sigil was the Dove, had looked down upon the world and wove into their tapestry that the destiny of men would be settled by war once more. Like the days of old when titan and God had clashed, when new sovereign's were allotted the different dominions of men, when one was charged to sit above them all.
The carnage from which the daughter of tides of was born.
Risen from the foam of a raging sea,
The Caretaker of vanity's looking glass,
Laughter Loving Aphrodite.
Just as it was before, the water of the earth's seas had been stirred into a raging tempest and threw those ships captained by a few brave souls high and nigh. If the wrath of the ocean was not enough, they too had to contend with each other. The desire for eternal glory and the promise of paradise forcing them to be at the throats of the other. It was all out war and as men do in war they would have to turn friends, look for allies, and invoke their gods to see them through.
Like the Great Flood, the impious would perish,
Noah and his ark would reach paradise,
But not without aid.
Not without the Amalgamation of Raven of Dove.
The Spinner, The Alotted, and The Inevitable, the daughters of Themis had watched. They had woven. They had decided. A Pirate King. A Champion of Men the Universe Over. He would find paradise and waiting for him there would be that goddess born of the raging sea.
The Goddess.
The Incarnation of Aphrodite
BG: ...I think I'm gonna need a SparkNotes version of what we just saw, Jack.
JC: Atara spoke of a Pirate King! That HAS to mean Sebastian Everett-Bryce! Waiting for him in paradise is a Goddess born of the sea!
BG: oooh, mister "I-went-to-college" can parse and decipher symbolic language...
JC: Atara seems to be angling for a spot on Team SEB! What will the Universal champion do with this information?!?
JC: Up next we’ve got our customary TV title match and the very first defense for new champion Mastermind!
BG: I tell ya Mastermind must have a horseshoe up his ass the way he “obtained” this championship.
JC: For our viewers who may have missed it, former dominant TV champion Jason Cashe opted to leave the company and void his contract, even though he was scheduled to face Mastermind. And well, talk about right place right time…Mastermind won the title because Jason Cashe didn’t show up.
BG: Well we’ll see how Mastermind fares in a REAL title defense here tonight. Because it’s a last man standing match with the usual 15 minute time limit.
JC: That seems….unusual…
BG: Plus I got it from on high….VERY high…. That the last man standing counts are going to ELEVEN instead of TEN!
JC: Why?
BG: Who am I to question the will of men greater than I, man? Who am I? Anyway, let’s start the action.
A figure is seen walking out from the back wearing a black hooded sweatshirt on. The hood was over his head so he couldnt be seen, and his head was looking down.
He stood in a stance.
As his signature song continues to hit this is my Brutality he takes off his hood to reveal himself to be Mastermind, and he walks to the ring, alone.
JC: Mastermind has recently been trying to rally his people, The Misfits, but it remains to be seen how that’s going for him.
The lights goes out and hear a voice saying Wrestling has one royal family and when Kingdom hit's fireworks burst open and Razor Blade comes out wearing a American nightmare outfit and left his arms in the mid air and fist pumps in a fake air and he saw a kid wearing a Blake shirt and he takes off his American nightmare belt off his waist in hands it to the XWF fan and climbs up the steps in hops on the turnbuckle and raises both arms in the air and more fireworks burst once again and he gets inside of the ring and climbs on the top rope taunts some more and gets down and takes off his American nightmare jacket and prepares for a fight.
BG: This bloke may not have the best record in the business, but damn does he try. Tonight just might be his night….who knows!
The referee presents the TV Championship to the crowd right before the bell rings and the match gets underway.
Mastermind and Razor both circle the ring stalking each other for a series of moments. Finally, the veteran Mastermind makes the first move. He locks up with Razor, and then quickly parlays that into a headlock. Razor pushes him off into the ropes and Razor catches him with a spinebuster on the rebound! The ref starts to count down Mastermind.
1….
2….NO, Mastermind is up!
JC: You’re not gonna catch the Master of Minds sleeping on such a basic move.
BG: I agree. Razor Blade is gonna have to pump some gas and light a match if he wants to end this in 15.
Both men are vertical yet again and again Mastermind goews for the lockup. He hits a standing switch on Razor before pulling him up and over into a suplex. Razor rolls up and recovers quickly, just in time to catch the champ with a Russian Legsweep.
But Mastermind is soon up to his feet as well!
14:02
Mastermind moves in on Razor, tagging him with a nasty chop to the chest. Razor responds in kind, backing Mastermind off of him. Razor goes for a dropkick but Mastermind swats it away and then leaps on Razor, grabbing his legs to put him in THE MIND CONTROLLER Boston Crab!
BG: The champ looking to end this with a quickness!
But Razor has the move scouted. He flips over and kicks out at Mastermind, getting him to break the hold. Razor then goes to the ropes and the ref forces Mastermind to back off. But as soon as Razor gets back in the action he eats a chop like uppercut right to the face, followed by an RKO type stunner! Razor goes down!
1
2….
3….
4….
5….
6…..Razor Blade is up!
Mastermind looks frustrated but advances on Razor anyway. This time it’s Razor with a counter, booting the champ in the guts, then dropping to his knees and uppercutting him! Mastermind gets rocked back but he’s still on his feet. So Razor finishes off his attack with a snap powerslam….followed by a second!
12:14
The ref starts to count down Mastermind!
1….
2…..
3…..
4….
5….
6….
7…..NOPE! Mastermind makes it to his feet! The fans pop!
BG: Getting dangerously close to that mythical 11 count!
JC: Again….why the eleven?
BG: It is not for mere mortals to question why, it is…
JC: It’s Lane, isn’t it?
Razor runs at Mastermind and lands a hip thrust, followed by an arm drag takedown. Mastermind is quick to his feet but this time eats a dropkick to the face from the challenger. With that, Razor stays on the attack, furiously stomping Mastermind into the canvas before going to the top rope and gesturing for a moonsault! Razor takes flight! But Mastermind lifts a boot! It catches Razor on the chin!
The fans gasp at the brutal counter!
BG: Ohhhh ho ho ho hell, that looked like it hurt!
Mastermind, seeing the damage done, simply gets up and waits for the ref to start counting.
1….
2…..
3…..
4….
5….
6…..
7…..
8…..
9…..OH MY GOD! Razor Blade is on his feet!
JC: I don’t know how he survived that but you MUST respect the tenacity!
Mastermind, smelling blood in the water, advances on Razor again, pummeling him with a forearm strike after forearm strike.
8:58
Mastermind flings the weakened Razor into the ropes and tags him with a high back body drop on the rebound. The ref counts again.
1….
2….
3….
4…..
5……NO! Razor is up! And quicker than before!
Mastermind snarls and goes after his opponent again, but this time Razor has a surprise for him! He drop toe holds him and then synched in an STF submission hold!
BG: He can’t make the champ submit but he can wear him down!
JC: And he’s got the champ locked in in the center of the ring too!
Razor rips and tears, jerking at Mastermind with the brutal submission hold! Mastermind tries to claw for a rope break but there just isn’t one to be had! Finally, after at least a solid 2 minutes in the hold, Razor breaks it and demands the ref start to count!
6:24
1….
2…
3…
4….
5….
6……
JC: Ugh, Mastermind still feeling the effects of two solid minutes in an STF. This isn’t looking good.
7….
8….
9……
10…..
10.5……YES! MASTERMIND LUNGES TO HIS FEET!
BG: Mastermind got no quit in him!
JC: But that was ridiculously close! If this wasn’t an eleven count we’d have…
BG: Oh would you drop it already!
Mastermind, rolling his shoulders, still looks to be in pain from the STF. But at the same time he seems determined to fight on. Mastermind circles Razor, who also has some blood running down his chin from the stiff moonsault counter from earlier, tells Mastermind to come at him! And Mastermind does! He launches himself at Razor with a big boot! Razor ducks and goes for a dropkick. Mastermind swats it aside. Razor kips up to his feet and goes for a lariat. Mastermind counters it into an arm bar, which Razor quickly escapes! Mastermind then goes for a lariat of his own which catches the challenger and dumps him to the canvas.
And this time, it’s Mastermind who starts going to the top rope! Razor staggers to his feet. Mastermind takes flight and nails Razor with a big time flying clothesline right from the top! Both men go down but it’s Mastermind who acts first. He drags Razor over to him and locks in the MIND SLEEPER!
4:01
JC: Oh no….the challenger is synched in tight!
BG: And there’s less than four minutes on the clock!
Razor struggles against the brutal sleeper hold, trying to hit back with elbows to Mastermind’s head. But Mastermind is wisely tucked so none of the blows can reach him. 30 seconds pass in the sleeper….and then a full minute…and it appears that Razor Blade is out! Mastermind unceremoniously dumps Razor to the canvas so the ref can count him down.
2:45
1….
2…..
3….
4….
5….
6….
7….
8….
9….
10….
11!!!!!!! Razor fails to get up!
WINNER—AND STILL TV CHAMPION—MAAASTERMINND!
Mastermind’s music hits as he is declared the victor!
Mastermind plants his foot against the unconscious Razor Blade's back, planting him facedown on the mat, as the official takes the title from the timekeeper to return to the champ...
JC: Wow! What a sleeper hold from the Master of Minds, putting Razor Blade to beddy bye for the entire 11 count!
BG: Mastermind here to show the world that although the TV title may have been won in rather unconventional circumstances, he is going to fight for it with every fibre of his being! Can’t wait to see who he takes on next time!
Mastermind smirks as he is handed the TV title belt, raising it high above his head, but suddenly Mastermind drops the belt and crouches down, grabbing Razor and locking in the Mind Controller! Razor’s out cold as the referee tries to pry Mastermind off of him.
JC: "Oh, come on! This is uncalled for! Razor Blade's already lost the match, there’s no need for this!"
BG: "Hey, JC, Razor Blade bit off more than he could chew tonight, struttin' around like he’s the next big thing! Mastermind’s just making sure he learns his place, that’s all. You don't step to the TV champ without paying a price!"
The crowd boos loudly, but Mastermind ignores them and maintains the hold with a wicked smile spread across his face.
Suddenly, the arena lights flicker, and a familiar guitar riff blares over the speakers…
JC: "Wait a minute! That’s—"
"BULK IS A REAL AMERICAN!" blasts through the arena, seeding the crowd into a frenzy as the camera shifts to the stage, where Bulk Logan appears, taking the time to flex his muscles for the cheering fans before he starts a slow jog towards the ring.
JC: "It’s BULK LOGAN! The Bulkster is here! And listen to this crowd—this place is coming unglued!"
BG: "Oh, great. Here comes Captain America himself to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong! He oughta stay out of Mastermind's business until it’s his turn to have his Mind Controlled!"
Mastermind drops Razor's legs to the mat with a thud and stands up, looking toward the entrance ramp as his smirk falters for a moment. He grabs the TV title and paces the ring as Bulk continues down the ramp, slapping hands with a few fans before sliding into the ring under the bottom rope.
As soon as Bulk stands up, Mastermind takes a cautious step back, holding his title belt tightly against his chest. The crowd roars in anticipation of the two going face to face as Bulk takes a commanding step forward, but just as it looks like they might come to blows, Mastermind quickly rolls out of the ring.
Mastermind backs up the ramp, smirking and pointing to his temple, indicating his 'BIG BRAIN' as he retreats.
JC: "Oh, give me a break! Mastermind's running like a coward! He doesn't want any part of Bulk Logan!"
BG: "Coward? That’s called strategy, JC! Mastermind knows he’s got nothing to gain by throwing hands with the Bulkster here! He’s keeping his eyes on the prize—War Games!"
Bulk leans over the ropes, motioning for Mastermind to get back in the ring, but Mastermind just keeps backing away, laughing to himself as he holds the TV title high in the air. The camera zooms in on Bulk, who checks on Razor before pointing to Mastermind and shouting something that’s drowned out by the cheers.
JC: "War Games is gonna be explosive! Bulk Logan, Mastermind, one-on-one for the TV title—and I don’t think either of these men will hold anything back!"
BG: "Mastermind’s got the brains—Bulk’s got the brawn. Come War Games, we’ll see whose strategy pays off, and my money’s on the man holding that TV title right now!"
The camera lingers on the stare down between Bulk in the ring and Mastermind at the top of the ramp as Weekend Warfare goes to a commercial break.
The shot opens up on Madison Dyson’s face. She’s wearing a confident smirk as she begins to speak into the camera.
Salutations XWF universe! It is I, your reason for being, Madison Dyson.
So, the powers that be have requested that we gin up some extra hype for War Games by commenting on who we want to draft us…or who we DON’T want to draft us. The thing is, I didn’t need to be told to do that. I was clearly going to do it anyway. Duh.
Now, I’m not here to speak in riddles like a certain bird woman. I’m going to be plain as day about my…hmmm….desires.
Madison bites her bottom lip, and the camera starts to slowly pan backwards.
On that note, there is only ONE captain I have my eye on.
And that is PRINCE ADE-YUMMY!
The shot has finished pulling back revealing that Madison is lounging on a bed wearing nothing but sexy black lingerie!
Princey…baby…Mama’s here!
Madison beckons seductively at the camera.
Mama’s here to complete your team…and complete YOU! Yeah….I’ve had a fire in my loins for those juicy man titties…those rock hard abs…that chiseled jawline….since you set foot in the XWF. But I carried the burden of my lust in secret!
But no more!
Pick me baby….and I’ll fulfill more than your thirst for a War Games victory.
Madison winks.
I’ll fulfill your thirst for hot, torrid SEX!
Thanks Maddy, I think we got it.
Think it over you hot chocolate hunk. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you REAL soon.
Madison suddenly frowns and sits up on her elbows.
As for who I DON’T want to pick me…I can sum that up in one word.
FUZZ!
Yeah, bitch, I’m DEAD NAMING you. You think I forgot what you did to my precious Engineer years back? You think I forgot how you STOLE his Universal Championship because you didn’t have a hope in hell of winning it legit?
Well, I remember, and if your white trash ass even THINKS of drafting me, I’ll slap Noah’s nut stank right off your face!
You couldn’t even be bothered to cut a promo for the Captain’s Match, so I think it’s crystal clear which one of you is a dud in the making anyway. You stay in your (loser’s) lane, and I’ll stay in mine. Bitch ass.
That’s all she wrote. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to have a little….erm….personal time…with some of Prince Adeyemi’s production stills. Toodles!
JC: Madison Dyson! And Prince Adeyemi! Could you imagine?!?
BG: Dyson had made her intentions known! The ball is in Adeyemi's court! He was on the winning WarGames team just last year! Can he repeat that feat? And will he do it with Madison Dyson on his squad?
When we come back from Madison Dyson's WarGames advertorial, the X-Treme champ and his partner are already in one corner... And the Stars of Combat are in another!
JC: This one has every opportunity to steal the whole damn show, Brody!
BG: Absolutely, Jayce! We have the new X-Treme champ AND Jules, one of the hottest new stars debuting for the XWF! And in the opposite corner, we have #1 contenders to the Tag Titles, The Stars of Combat!
JC: You have to imagine, Bacchus and Jules winning this match would not only keep the belt on Bacchus's waist, but it would certainly put B&J in contention for a shot at tag-team gold down the line.
BG: But, what about the flip? Lucy Wylde and Aurora have been dominating the tag-team division. But tonight is a chance, where ONE of them could leave with individual gold around their waist!
JC: But which one, Brody! That's what we just might find out now!
JC: "Jules LaFonsetta and Lucy Wylde starting us off here; sizing one another up."
BG: "Interesting to see how Wylde and Aurora do this match considering they've got a Tag Title shot lined up!"
LaFonsetta and Wylde lock up in a test of strength which Wylde quickly turns into an arm lock and wrenches the shoulder back; Jules twists around reversing the hold and throws Wylde to the mat with an arm drag. Lucy bounces back to her feet and ducks under a reckless spinning heel kick and counters with a leg sweep putting Jules on her back. Wylde follows up with a quick dropping elbow which is dodged by Jules who rolls out of the way and meets Wylde with a forearm followed by a spinning backfist and ending the combination with a nasty dropkick!
Lucy barrels into the ropes and hooks her arms and steadies herself as LaFonsetta sprints and jumps looking for a knee!
Wylde rolls under the leaping Jules but her flying knee was a feint as she lands on the top rope and springboards off towards her opponent twisting into a splash as Wylde turns into it!
BG: “HUGE Superkick from Wylde connects into Jules’ head!”
LaFonsetta drops from the air like a downed chopper as Wylde’s boot domes her.
Lucy drops down into a pin as the ref slides in for the count.
ONE!
…
Bacchus puts a foot on the ropes thinking to intervene as Aurora stink eyes him.
TWO!
…
KICKOUT!
Jules gets a shoulder up at 2!
Wylde grabs a handful of Jules’ hair and plucks her off the mat dragging her to her corner as Aurora raises a hand.
JC: Tag made and Aurora is in.”
Wylde pushes Jules into her corner with a foot into her throat as Aurora runs the ropes and sprints in with a leaping forearm to Jules mush. LaFonsetta drops to the mat as Wylde goes to the apron and Aurora drags Jules into the center of the ring; Jules tries to reach a hand out to Bacchus who leans in but can’t make the distance as Aurora makes targeted stomps at Jules’ limbs, specifically the lower leg, before picking her up and whipping Jules into the ropes while she runs the opposite and comes back in with a spear!
BG: “COUNTERED!”
Jules leapfrogs and Aurora baseball slides to the mat! Jules tumbles briefly landing hard on her previously targeted ankle and stumbles falling for a tag to Bacchus!
JC: “Jules looking for a tag!”
But Aurora is back up and sprints into the corner before Jules and springboards off the corner buckle and nails Jules with a Meteora!
On landing, Aurora gives a smug smirk to Bacchus who tries to rouse Jules along with the crowd. LaFonsetta tries to push herself up as Aurora walks slowly to her before dropping a knee back on her leg and moving back up to give a stiff boot into her head.
Aurora gives a shout to Wylde as she grabs Jules by the collar and throws her towards her partner. Wylde grabs Jules and keeps her in place as she crouches on the apron and positions Jules over the middle rope, her head held up as Aurora takes aim!
JC: “ENTROPY BLADE!!!”
Aurora runs in for her V-Trigger!
BG: “JULES DODGES IT!”
And Lucy Wylde eats a hard knee! Jules scrambles away as Aurora throws her hands on her head at this mistake! Jules throws her body towards the waiting hand of Bacchus as she jumps for the tag!
JC: “Johnny Bacchus is in!”
The crowd pop huge as The Xtreme Champ enters with a head full of steam! Aurora turns into a huge shotgun dropkick and is flung into the corner! Bacchus gets back up and grabs Aurora’s wrist, dragging her away from the corner and whipped into the ropes! Aurora fires back with rage for a clothesline!
BG: “Ducked!”
Bacchus runs under the arm! Aurora goes for a shoulder tackle on the rebound!
BG: “Dipped!”
Bacchus leapfrogs over Aurora and hits the ropes one more time; Aurora spins around with a heel kick!
BG: “Dived!”
Bacchus commando rolls under the leg! Aurora spins back into an elbow!
BG: “And dodged!”
The champ drops low before grabbing Aurora by the waist and forces Aurora to see the curvature of the Earth with a ridiculous German Suplex!
Bacchus kips up to a round of applause from the crowd.
JC: “Watch out!”
Bacchus does watch as Lucy Wylde is back in the fight with a spinning gut kick and Bacchus doubles over and Wylde capitalizes with…
JC: “FURY BRAND!!!”
Lucy Wylde’s corkscrew Pele kick puts an end to Bacchus hot streak as he crumples to the mat. The ref urges Wylde to leave but Lucy insists on checking on her partner; helping Aurora to her feet; as Wylde goes to her corner Bacchus comes in to knock her out of the ring with a huge boot but Wylde dodges and The Stars of Combat fire back with stereo superkicks! Bacchus timbers to the mat as Wylde readies herself looking to the outside for Jules as Aurora goes for the pin!
ONE!
…
TWO!!
….
THR-NO!!!
Jules LaFonsetta rushes the ring and springboards OFF Aurora breaking the pin before taking Wylde out with a big splash! Wylde tries to catch Jules but both end up bailing out of the ring and crashing to the outside. Johnny pushes himself to his feet Aurora meets him in the center!
Stiff forearm from Aurora knocks Bacchus but he fires back with a chop!
Aurora reels but as Bacchus goes for a gut kick Aurora catches the leg and forces it past her, grabbing Bacchus’ head and driving her knee into his cranium!
Bacchus is back down to the mat on all fours as Aurora stumbles back and takes aim!
She runs in!
JC: “STARBURST SONATA!!!”
Aurora plants a foot on Bacchus’ back!
BG: “WE’VE GOT A NEW CHAMP!!!”
BUT BACCHUS PUSHES HIMSELF UP AND AURORA IS SPRUNG HIGH INTO THE AIR!
JC: “NO WAY!”
Bacchus catches Aurora!
BG: “THE TRAGEDY AT BUFFALO!!!!!!”
Bacchus plucks Aurora from the sky, grabbing her waist and delivers a brutal gutwrench piledriver!
He goes for the pin!!!
ONE!
…
TWO!
LUCY WYLDE RUSHES THE RING!!!!
THR-
BUT JULES GRABS LUCY’S ANKLE AND REELS HER BACK OUTSIDE!
-EE!!!!
WINNERS - JOHNNY BACCHUS & JULES LaFONSETTA!
JC: Well the main event of the evening is here, and so is almost all of the Warfare locker room!
BG: And a few stars of Anarchy, too, Jackie!
JC: What’s this?
BG: That’s…
Bobby Bourbon walks out onto the stage as the fans go wild. Bedecked in a pair of gray slacks and an orange long sleeve button down with the sleeves rolled up, he raises his hands at 45 degree angles and makes his way down the ramp and past the lumberjacks, stopping to exchange a fistbump with Atara Raven, and on to the announce table! Bobby pulls out a headset and puts it on.
BB: Hey guys. Since I am the current record holder for the most eliminations in War Games history, and I’m not medically cleared to compete, Peter Principle has stated in order to get my hot dog stipend tonight, I had to do something official for the XWF. As such, I will be the official XWF emcee for War Games!
JC: You’d think production would have told us…
BG: Or Peter could have.
BB: The decision just got made, guys, and I’m here to work with you, not kick you off the announce booth again!
JC: Well, that’s reassuring.
The lights in the arena dip to black in time with the sirens and beat to the opening of Sweatpants (BattleTapes Remix) by Childish Gambino, the lights then beginning to flash, alternating left and right onto the ramp. In time, the letters "S", "E", "B", and then "Empire" flash one at a time on the big screen until the lights stop flashing as the lyrics hit.
"She askin' “Why you say that?!”
The beat drops and the lights flash on the rampway again. As they do, the screen illuminates with "SEB" and then "EMPIRE" flashing on the sceen.
"Rich kid asshole, paint me as a villain"
Sebastian Everett-Bryce flings his arms wide, staring up with his head covered by the hood of his jacket. He stands in the middle of the ramp, the lights beating down on him, before looking out at the crowd. He wears a long jacket with the hood pulled up over his head, zipped to the waist. The jacket, which is cut away at the bottom and only runs down the back of his legs, is patterned with an elongated Union Flag, but it’s in black and white and appears to be cracked and broken. His tights are short, with the initials SEB emblazoned upon the front.
The lights lift, and SEB makes his way to the ring, stretching his neck from side to side as he walks, his eyes focused on the ring. He steps past the lumberjacks, climbs up the steps and steps through the ropes before standing in the middle of the ring.
"I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain"
He extends his arms once more before pulling back his hood and removing his jacket to reveal the back of his tights which read “S.E.B”
"Don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you doing you
Better than you doing you, fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)"
He flashes his arms out to a side, a satisfied and somewhat sneery grin upon his face, he holds the position for a moment, to allow the crowd to take pictures, before moving towards his corner.
JC: The Universal Champion is out here first tonight, and he’s looking to get first picks in the draft!
BB: That coveted first pick, JC, has been both a boost and a bust for captains over the years, Jack.
BG: Right, do you take the best overall, or do you take the competitor that you’ll have the most chemistry with?
BB: I have no clue, Bryant Gumble, I’ve never been a captain, I just wrecked the opposing ones.
BG: My name’s not Bryant!
BB: Nobody remembers your name!
“IMA BE THAT NAIL IN YOUR COFFIN!”
CYPH3R walks out to the ramp, clad in ring gear matching that of Tamako Ito, who is proudly standing next to him. He smirks and drinks in the boos from the crowd as Linkin Park’s “LIES GREED MISERY” plays over the speakers. He looks at the crowd from underneath his hoodie, then whips the hood off as the chorus hits.
He confidently walks down the ramp, hand-in-hand with Tamako, who is beaming at the crowd despite their heat. They make their way to the apron past the lumberjacks and Tamako holds down the ropes for CYPH3R to enter. In the ring he slowly walks to the ropes and leans forward, looking out into the audience. Tamako claps furiously and then takes CYPH3R’s hoodie as he prepares for the match while the lumberjacks look curiously at Tamako, who takes a seat by the timekeeper.
JC: Cypher has quite the reputation around here, Bobby, he beat you in record time earlier this year!
BB: Yeah, well he would have beat you twice as fast, and besides, I’m a commentator tonight, not the guy here to beat him up! And I thought his name was Sife Three R, like a robot from Star Trek.
BG: You really aren’t good with names are you?
BB: I can make or break one, Barry Gibb.
The ear-shattering guitar rift of "Black out the Sun" blares through the speakers as the crowd erupts onto their feet. Half scream in adoration while the other choruses into boos. Spotlights center onto the top of the stage as fire erupts from either side of the curtain. As the flames settle, Prince Adeyemi walks out, eyes shifting from the floor to the ring.
BB: I am well versed with Adeyemi, one half of the tag team champions, and I know I’m getting his name right!
JC: Well put, Bobby. The Prince is on his way now past all the lumberjacks!
BG: None of which are his partner, “Notorious” Ned Kaye!
"Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I wanna watch your fortress crumble down
And when the witching hour sounds
I will be the one to count you down
Now that my backs against the wall
I have to fight to stop the fall
Don't need your approval, I will rise above"
He drops into a squat, leaning to the left and the right, stretching his legs out.
"I will not be denied, your kingdom come!"
The Prince leaps into the air as the crowd echoes "Your kingdom come!". He walks down to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and rushing to the opposite side. Leaping onto the first and second rope, he throws a fist into the air as his fans cheer for him. Dropping off the ropes, he leans against them and awaits the bell.
The opening riff of The hangman's body count by Volbeat starts to play throughout the arena as the lights dim. Several red and purple laser lights envelope the stage as Matthias Syn casually walks through the curtain. As he steps onto the stage, he stops and acknowledges the crowd by stretching both arms forward while touching his balled up fists together. After several seconds he begins to nonchalantly walk down the ramp towards the ring, not allowing the fans to touch him. He slides under the bottom rope, jumps to his feet and poses on the ropes. As he drops down from the ropes he takes off his red leather shearling coat, hands it to the ring girl and sits on the middle turnbuckle awaiting his opponent.
BG: Syn is in on Warfare!
BB: Yes he is, Burrito Grande!
JC: The Revolution Champion representing Anarchy here in the War Games captain’s match!
Helix Nebula by Anamanaguchi blasts as colored lights in beat to the rhythm pass over the roaring crowd. When the beat kicks in Game Girl swoops down from the rafters on her flying cloud, Nimbus, going over fans and reaching down to give them passing high fives before sailing over to the ring and flipping down to her feet into a fist-raising pose.
JC: Game Girl has been associated with the XWF for nearly a decade, and she doesn’t look like she’s aged a day!
BB: Yeah, she’s like that.
BG: Do you two have history, Bobby?
BB: Bob Guccione, she’s the first lesson in my history!
Shawn Warstein walks out onto the stage and begins his way to the ring.
JC: Shawn Warstein, Fuzz, however you mention his name, is a legend in the sport and the most tenured competitor here tonight!
BB: Yeah, he is really old.
BG: Oh would you just stop? He’s…
…He’s literally a few months younger than you!
Warstein passes the lumberjacks and enters the ring.
WARGAMES CAPTAIN’S BATTLE ROYALE LUMBERJACK MATCH
Sebastian Everett-Bryce
- vs -
Cypher
- vs -
Prince Adeyemi
- vs -
Matthias Syn
- vs -
Game Girl
- vs -
Shawn Warstein
Lumberjacks: The 24 Roster Members Of The WarGames Draft Pool Over-The-Top Elimination Rumble To Determine The Draft Order For WarGames.
The Ring Will Be Surrounded By The WarGames Draftees
*ding*ding*ding*
JC: We are underway!
BB: This is Warfare, and the path to War Games begins!
BG: That’s my line!
Warstein and Game Girl pair off and start brawling in the corner! Syn and Adeyemi start exchanging blows in the opposite corner! Seb and Cypher start plastering each other with forearms in the middle of the ring! Game Girl with a knee strike to Warstein! Syn with a nasty headbutt to Adeyemi! Cypher with a clapping right forearm to Seb! Warstein with an eye rake to Game Girl! Adeyemi with a left body hook to Syn! Seb with a clapping right forearm to Cypher! The lumberjacks are all slapping the ring apron!
JC: This got nuclear hot faster than the Demon Core!
BG: We’re at DEFCON 2, Jackie!
BB: Why are there lumberjacks if this is a Battle Royale? That doesn’t make a lick of sense!
Game Girl is still reeling from the eye rake, and Warstein backs her into the corner! Warstein with a back chop to Game Girl! Syn with an overhand right to Adeyemi! Cypher throws a forearm but Seb ducks and hooks him in a rear waistlock! Warstein grabs Game Girl’s leg and tries to hoist her over the top rope! Adeyemi with a left jab to Syn, a left jab to Syn, a right to Syn’s body, and a left hook to Syn, but Syn ducks! Seb goes for the German suplex, but Cypher flips out onto his feet! Game Girl is raining blows onto Warstein, stopping him from getting her over the top rope! Syn hoists Adeyemi, and goes to put him over the top! Cypher charges and nails Seb in the spine with a dropkick, sending him out onto the apron! Game Girl catches Warstein in a headscissors, and whips him over the top rope out onto the apron beside Seb! Adeyemi wriggles free of Syn’s grasp back to his feet, and hits Syn with a snapmare into a chinlock! Seb and Warstein glance at one another! Seb with a right to Warstein, sending him reeling! Warstein with a left, sending him keeling! Game Girl gets to the mat, and waits, kneeling, as Cypher rushes her with a knee he is dealing! Game Girl drops and Cypher crotches himself on the second turnbuckle!
JC: Seb and Warstein are going at it on the apron!
BG: Either man can get eliminated from here!
BB: Both men have friends ringside to help them out!
Warstein grabs the rope and pitches forward, then back, trying to slingshot Seb off the apron! Seb falls back, but is caught by Corey Black and Lucy Wilde! Both push Seb back into the ring, under the bottom rope, as Game Girl stands and rushes Warstein, landing a superman punch! Warstein falls back but is caught by James Raven! Raven pushes Warstein back onto the apron, and Warstein pulls himself to his feet! As soon as he stands, Madison Dyson jumps onto the apron and grabs Warstein! Dyson bites Warstein’s wrist, causing him to lose grip of the rope and crash to the arena floor!
ELIMINATED: SHAWN WARSTEIN
JC: And with that Shawn Warstein was eliminated by a lumberjack in Madison Dyson!
BB: I don’t think he’s drafting her, Jack and Ben Grimm.
BG: You know what, fine, I’m Ben Grimm.
Warstein stands from the arena floor as Dyson leaps at him, landing with a modified meteora and swiping at him! Officials and other lumberjacks peel her off of him, and keep them separated, but only for a moment! Warstein and Dyson brawl back up the ramp and into the back!
Meanwhile, in the ring, Seb with a kick to Adeyemi’s chest, breaking the chinlock! Game Girl with a kick to Cypher’s spine! Adeyemi stands and glares at Seb, who throws another kick at Adeyemi, who just tanks it! Game Girl hooks Cypher and nails a crashing neckbreaker. Seb with a third kick to Adeyemi, who catches Seb’s boot! Game Girl hits a Power Geyser, sending Cypher back up to his feet! Syn is behind her, though, and hits a surprise reverse DDT! Adeyemi with a dragon screw leg whip to Seb! Syn sneers at Cypher!
JC: Matthias Syn with evil intent!
BB: He always is!
BG: He’s wanted a piece of Cypher!
Syn hooks Cypher, and hits the SYNthesis!
JC: MATTHIAS SYN PLANTING CYPHER!
BB: I FEEL LIKE JOE ROGAN AT A UFC EVENT!
Cypher is left on the mat as Syn gets back to his feet!
Adeyemi pulls Seb back up and backs him into a corner!
Syn lifts Cypher to his feet, and starts to rush him towards the ropes!
Adeyemi with a right body blow to Seb! A left body blow to Seb! A right body blow!
Syn dumps Cypher over the top rope!
Cypher lands on the arena floor!
ELIMINATED: CYPH3R
Syn looks over the top rope, and down at Cypher! Syn spits at him, and a huge wad of saliva lands on Cypher’s chest!
JC: The disrespect from Syn!
BG: He went hawk tuah and spit on Cypher!
BB: Look, man, the hawk tuah girl is overwith now, it’s ended, stop it, Bear Grylls.
Game Girl is up and sees Syn leaning over the top rope, and dumps him over it!
ELIMINATED: MATTHIAS SYN
BB: And that’s why you don’t ignore Game Girl!
JC: The Revolution champion is drafting ahead of Cypher and Shawn Warstein!
BG: But below Seb, Prince, and Game Girl!
BB: Well thanks for stating the obvious, Bill Gates!
Game Girl stalks Adeyemi, and grabs him from behind! Adeyemi pivots and catches Game Girl in the jaw with a lightning fast jab!
The referee dons a red cap!
JC: What the hell was that sound?
BB: Mike Tyson’s Punch Out, Jackie.
BG: But, how?
BG: SERIOUSLY WHERE IS THE MUSIC COMING FROM?
Game Girl throws a right at Adeyemi, who dodges and throws a huge uppercut, sending her to the mat!
The referee goes and checks on her, and begins a ten count!
1…
2…
3…
4…
Game Girl is to her feet, and she squares up to Adeyemi!
Adeyemi goes for an uppercut, but Game Girl dodges and swiftly comes back with a left jab, then a right jab! She goes for another jab, but Adeyemi blocks! Another punch from Game Girl blocked by Adeyemi blocked! Another punch from Adeyemi, who dodges and comes back, leveling Game Girl with another massive uppercut! Game Girl hits the deck like a ton of bricks!
JC: Has anyone ever hit Game Girl this hard in her career?
BG: Nobody, well, maybe except Bobby!
BB: No way, Bubba Gump, I’ve been cracked by Prince Adeyemi before, and those punches are lethal!
Adeyemi brings Game Girl to her feet, and brings her over to the ropes, looking to dump her over the top!
Seb from behind grabs Adeyemi, and plants him with a German Suplex!
Seb holds on and brings Adeyemi back up, holding the waist, and goes for a Chimera Suplex, nailing it, but keeping the grip!
Seb brings Adeyemi back up and goes for the third suplex, but Game Girl teleports behind Seb hitting him with a palm strike to the spine!
Game Girl teleports again, and hits Adeyemi now with a palm strike to the solar plexus!
BB: NOTHING PERSONAL, KID!
BG: Oh, I know you’re just fooling around with my name, Bobby.
BB: No, Bobcat Goldthwait, that’s what that move is called!
Game Girl with a head hold to Adeyemi, and Seb also has a grip on Adeyemi, and both work together to throw him over the top rope where he crashes into a pile of lumberjacks, hitting the arena floor!
ELIMINATED: PRINCE ADEYEMI
JC: And we’re down to the final two!
BG: One of these competitors will have the coveted option to take the first or sixth pick in the War Games draft!
BB: That’s right, Beans Garbanzo! You can take the best option, or you can take the swing and get two competitors right after each other, but you can’t take both!
Game Girl and Seb step away from each other, sizing each other up!
Seb with a standing side kick to Game Girl!
High Kick from Game Girl to Seb!
Seb with a roundhouse kick to Game Girl!
Game Girl with a Power Up Punch to Seb!
Seb dodges, and boots Game Girl in the stomach, following up with a DDT!
Seb brings Game Girl to her feet and runs to toss her from the ring!
Game Girl catches herself at the ropes, and rebounds off the second rope, flipping over Seb and hitting a Hyper Bomb!
Seb spins around with a savate kick, hitting Game Girl!
Seb lifts Game Girl up and positions her for the Excuse Me!
JC: Oh no!
BG: This could not just take Game Girl out of the match, but out of wrestling!
BB: Don’t underestimate Seb, and definitely don’t underestimate Game Girl!
Game Girl unlocks the Konami Code!
Game Girl with a Fast Travel off of Seb, onto her feet in front of him!
Game Girl with the Metronome! She signals to Bobby Bourbon ringside.
Game Girl boots Seb in the gut, and hoists him up for the Bobbybomb!
Seb starts with the fists to Game Girl though, and lands a hurricanrana onto Game Girl!
JC: WOW!
BG: Game Girl almost stole your finisher, Bobby!
BB: Seb had other ideas, Brown Gravy!
Seb brings Game Girl to her feet as the lumberjacks all watch in awe of what is happening in front of them.
Seb drags Game Girl to the ropes, and has her backed against them, and goes to hoist her over!
NO!
Game Girl initiates the Nothing Personal, Kid, onto Seb, teleporting behind him, striking him in the back!
She teleports back in front of him, but is standing on the apron!
Game Girl looks around, realizing she might have caused herself to ring out!
Seb rushes in with an Empire Kick, sending Game Girl to the floor!
ELIMINATED: GAME GIRL
WINNER:
SEBASTIAN EVERETT BRYCE
SPECIAL THANKS TO...
Peter Principle
Madison Dyson
Game Girl
Bobby Bourbon
For Writing Matches
Atara Raven
Madison Dyson
Bulk Logan
For Submitting Segments
Minutes from the main event, Isaiah King stares at a tiny screen in his locker room - mouth agape. Madison Dyson, in all her confusing glory, vanishes from the screen just as his brains erupt into a stream of confusion. In a hurry he scampers for his phone, it can't be too late can it? He must have time left.
He'd just planned out his gameplan for the draft.
But then Madison Dyson had to go and make it all weird.
Finally finding his phone, he speed-dials Theo...
...Only to have it go to voicemail.
Right, he's gone now.
Isaiah ponders for a second, realising he has no clue who really runs the show now.
Isaiah screams into the void as the screen fades to black.
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