The camera fades in from black to the wild crowd inside Wilson Logistics Arena. The crowd's excitement builds as the camera pans their animated faces.
And lands on this excited little fella.
Suddenly, the audience roars as pyrotechnics explode around the set and the camera sweeps across the ecstatic crowd before landing on the Anarchy logo.
We then cut to the announcers, Todd and Bama T, who are seated at their commentary table at ringside.
TODD: "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to XWF Anarchy, broadcasting live from the heart of Springfield Missouri! Tonight, we have a lineup that promises to keep you on the edge of your seat!"
BAMA T: "That's right, baby! Kicking things off, we have a brutal showdown in an X-Treme Rules match where John Black is set to defend his Revolution championship against the daunting green-haired monster known as Mr. Oz!"
TODD: "And if that's not enough, tonight we'll also witness a bizarre and intriguing singles match between A Literal Gorilla and American Nightmare, Razor Blade. That's sure to be a wild one!"
BAMA T: "You got that right, Todd! And speaking of wild, I hope Razor Blade brought enough bananas to keep that literal gorilla happy in there, or else he might just find himself in a real hairy situation, baby!"
TODD: "And then there's the main event of tonight's broadcast—the King's Kontest, a match type that's as unpredictable as it is thrilling. With King Kieran presiding over the bout, anything can happen!"
BAMA T: "That's right, Todd. King Kieran has truly brought a royal flair to Anarchy. His presence not only adds a little grandeur to the show, but his whims can change the fate of any match at the drop of a hat. Tonight, he'll be watching closely as Centurion and Michael Graves clash in the ring, and it's anyone's guess who the King will favor, baby!"
TODD: Will he lean towards the veteran wisdom of Centurion, or will the dark and destructive nature of Michael Graves catch his royal eye tonight?"
—Suddenly the opening rifts to "Wild Thing" cause the crowd to come to life.
TODD: Hang on a second...
BAMA T: Speak of the devil! I think you're a little early there, baby!
Out from the back steps Centurion, clad in his street clothes and leather jacket, quickly making his way down to the ring.
TODD: Centurion has a big matchup in the main event of tonight's show, but it appears as if he's got something to say now.
BAMA: Maybe he has a flight to catch and he wants to get this over with.
Centurion steps into the ring and calls for a microphone from ringside. The crowd barely has time to settle down before Centurion begins to speak.
Centurion: Look, I'm going to make this quick. You've all seen me and my results over the past few weeks. My head...it isn't in the right place. I have been thinking about something for a while now, and it isn't titles or legacy or anything like that. No, it's the unfinished business I have with one person in particular - Madison Dyson.
The crowd boos at the mention of the former Queen.
Centurion: For years, I have been attempting to defeat her, and yet, every opportunity I have had, I have let it slip through my fingers. Now, I've been asking for one more chance. I know if I get that opportunity, I can finally move past her and jumpstart my career. There's a problem, though - she refuses to fight.
The crowd boos again.
Centurion: Now I don't know if Jett Sterling is defending her, or if she's just sitting at home laughing because she isn't a contracted XWF wrestler, but I do know that I can not defeat my demons if both of those people don't agree to this match, and that certainly isn't going to happen unless I wager something. So, Madison. Jett. I want you to listen close.
Centurion gets close up to the camera.
Centurion: At The Revelry, you and I go at it one more time. No rules, no disqualifications, just two people looking to batter the unholy hell out of each other. If I win, I finally get to move on, and I can forget about you completely. But Madison, if you win? You...
...can have my career.
The crowd gasps.
Centurion: It's that simple, Madison. Multiple wrestlers have come through here, looking to be the one to FINALLY put an end to Centurion. You have that chance, Madison. Agree to this match, and beat me at the pay per view, and I'll be gone. Balls in your court now.
Centurion tosses the microphone down onto the mat before climbing over the top rope with his music playing.
TODD: Well that certainly is...something.
BAMA T: Can you imagine an XWF without Centurion?! And that could happen if Madison accepts the match!
TODD: "Welcome back to XWF Anarchy, folks! Up next, we've got John Black, the current Revolution Champion, defending his title against a formidable opponent, Mr. Oz."
BAMA T: "Oh, Todd, this one's personal and it's gonna be brutal, baby. They got history!"
TODD: "Absolutely, Bama! Last time these two clashed under X-Treme Rulez, it was nothing short of warfare. John Black has made it clear he's willing to go to any lengths to defend his title, even if it means crossing some lines that others wouldn’t dare."
BAMA T: "And let’s not forget, Oz isn't exactly a saint either. This man has transformed into something even more dangerous. The last time we saw him go this dark, he was laying waste to anyone and everyone in his path."
TODD: "John’s recent comments have sparked a fire in Oz that we haven't seen in a while. He’s promised a match so violent, we might need a cleanup crew on standby!"
BAMA T: "John Black better be careful, baby. He’s fighting for his legacy against a man who has nothing left to lose and everything to gain."
TODD: "And remember, Oz has stated that he’s out for blood and retribution. He believes John Black stole his destiny, and tonight, he aims to reclaim what he believes is rightfully his, through sheer destruction if necessary."
BAMA T: "Folks, strap in. This isn’t going to be for the faint of heart."
A choir stands on stage, in safe spots, as flame begins to erupt from the stage, as Oz walks out. It seems as if Oswald has literally paid for an entire metal orchestra, just to play him to the ring. As the first lick of the guitar hits the air and the drums start off, Oz starts to walk to the ring, dressed in a large white cloak covering his body. However, instead of entering the ring first, he waits. He stands there near the ring floor next to the edge of the ramp. He slowly pulls off the cloak, folds it and then places it on the edge of the ring, next to one of the posts before climbing onto the apron and over the top rope where he goes to his corner, sitting down as he waits for the bell.
We see the X-Tron come to life, and we see "John Black" name shot up with the .38 special, and we see him at the stage in a black and white setting as he is standing there taking in the mixed reactions. Then he walks down to the ramp, and he gives them some high fives, then he climbs on the steel steps and enters the ring, and he raises his fist in the air as he pounds his chest around the ring as his theme cuts off.
TODD: "Ladies and gentlemen, as we gear up for this highly anticipated showdown between John Black and Mr. Oz, our cameras have spotted a very interesting spectator ringside. None other than Spencer Adams from Weekend Warfare!"
BAMA T: "Now what’s he doin’ here tonight, Todd? Last I checked, this ain't his usual stompin' grounds."
TODD: "That's a good question, Bama. Spencer Adams, a prominent figure on Weekend Warfare, sitting right here at Anarchy. One has to wonder if he’s got his eye on the Revolution Championship. You know, a little scouting mission perhaps?"
BAMA T: "Or maybe, just maybe, Spencer just wanted to catch what’s guaranteed to be one of the most explosive matches we’ve seen in a while, baby! Can't blame a fella for wanting to watch a show where the action is this hot!"
A spilt-second before the bell rings, Oz drives his hip straight into the champion’s gut! Black doubles over in pain as Oz slams a standing axe handle straight onto the back of Black’s head, driving him face first onto the mat!
Oz leans down and deadlifts the champion off the mat by the throat! He sets Black down on his feet, shoves him back toward the ropes and…
BIG BOOT! Black is dropped like a ton of bricks to the mat!
TODD: "Dominant start from the challenger here!"
Oz drops a boot onto the champ’s chest!
The official drops to count…
ONE!
TWO!!
THR-NO! Black forces the shoulder up!
Oz scoops Black up off the mat once more and shoves him backwards against a turnbuckle!
BAMA T: "Oooh, that ain’t where you wanna be against a sadist like Oz! He’ll peel off yer limbs one by one and laugh as he does it!!"
Oz raises a boot and presses it against Black’s throat, choking him against the ropes!
The official starts a five count!
ONE!
TW-
Oz releases the choke, Black slumps in the corner! Oz gets up in the official’s face, menacingly.
The terrified official raises his arms defensively…
TODD: "Mister Oz and the XWF officiating team do not have the best relationship historically!"
Oz turns back around, lifting his boot to resume the choke…
BUT! Black ducks under Oz’s leg! And scoops around Oz’s back! He narrowly grabs Oz from behind and… somehow scoops him sideways off the mat!
BAMA T: "Hot dang! Black clearly not skipping arm day at the ol’ gym!"
Black heaves Oz around, spinning him in the air! And dropping him on his face! Reverse powerslam!
BAMA T: "Toddy Boy! The hell kinda move was that?"
TODD: "Black’s offense is nothing if not unorthodox! "
Black, breathing heavy looking like he just powerlifted, flips Oz over onto his back and hooks the leg!
The official counts!
ONE!
TW-Oz reaches up and grips Black by the throat!
BAMA T: "Bah GAWD! That move didn’t even get a two count!"
TODD: "It’s gonna take something truly incredible to put Mister Oz down for the count!"
Oz grips JB by the throat! JB’s eyes go wide as Oz pulls himself to a sitting up position, then neatly transitions to standing face-to-face with the Revolution champ!
Oz draws JB close to his face, by the throat! Then out! Then in! Shoving him out and in, throttling him!
BAMA T: "Jay-Bee’s gotta make moves if he didn't wanna get flattened!"
Oz draws JB in once more!
But JB pushes his head forward! Headbutting Oz straight in the nose!
TODD: “JB is outsized by Ozzy but he refuses to be outscrapped!"
Oz clearly gets his signals scrambled by Black’s surprise headbutt! Black backs up into the ropes to keep the offense going…
But, almost by reflex, Oz side steps Black as he runs past… AND scoops Black off his feet and into the air!
BAMA T: "Hot dang! Oz is stronger than an Odessa Ox!"
Oz extends his leg… AND DROPS BLACK ONTO HIS KNEE! Backbreaker!
Black flops and rolls off the impact! The Revolution champ cradles his spine as Oz drops into a cover!
The official counts!
ONE!
TWO!!
THR-Black reaches out and grabs the rope with his outside arm!
TODD: “Incredible wherewithal by Black! Grabbing the rope to stay in this match, great ring awareness!"
BAMA T: "I don’t thin’ you kin call it ‘great ring awareness’ when your choice keeps you in the ring with a HOSS like OZ!"
Oz sneers as he reaches down to drive his elbow into JB’s face… but JB clings onto the rope and pulls himself to the outside! Grabbing his feet!
TODD: “The champ, hoping to buy himself a little recovery time!"
Mister Oz impatiently rolls under the bottom rope after champ. Black reaches under the apron… Just as Oz grabs him by the scruff of the neck!
Oz pulls Black backwards…
But Black has a kendo stick! He swings! THWAP! Straight to the side of Oz’s skull! Again! Again!
Black swings a third!
But OZ CATCHES THE STRIKE! And European uppercuts Black straight in his throat!
Black drops like a ton of bricks… Oz tosses the kendo stick away, as Black rolls under the apron!
Oz leans down to grab the champ by the leg! He grabs Black’s right leg like a tug of war rope and starts to reel him back out from under the apron!
As Oz reels the champ out by his leg…
The crowd sees Black’s waist!
The crowd Black’s back!
The crowd sees Black’s…
Fire extinguisher?!?
BAMA T: "That should prolly be in a different place for safety purposes!"
Oz’s eyes widen! He tries to block his f-
BLACK UNLEASHES A STREAM OF WHITE! STRAIGHT INTO OZ’S FACE!
Oz swings blindly! But his vision has been clouded!
Black digs deep, shaking off cobwebs! He drives forward, digging his shoulder under Oz’s swinging arms!
Black scoops him up like a linebacker… AND SLAMS OZ ONTO THE PADDED CONCRETE! SPINEBUSTER SLAM!
Black exhaustedly hooks the leg, raising an arm in triumph
The official drops to count…
ONE!
TWO!!
THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oz forces a shoulder up off the padded concrete!
TODD: "John Black is pulling out all the stops to keep the Revolution title around his waist!"
BAMA T: "But Daggum Oz just keeps on comin’!"
Black exhales, spent on the padded concrete… He shakes his head, pounding his fist against his stomach, trying to drive himself to finish the fight!
He grabs Oz by the neck and shoves him under the bottom rope… Before rolling in after the challenger!
”JB, looking to put Oz down for the count!"
Black pounds his fist against his chest… Sizing Oz up for the Blacklisted…
Oz rubs his eyes, trying to flush out what’s blinding him…
Black charges in! He heaves Oz onto his shoulders, in Death Valley Driver position!
…But Oz drops off the back! He grabs Black around the throat, heaves the champ into the air!
HELLACIOUS CHOKESLAM!
BAMA T: "HOT DAMN! Oz just lifted John Black like a featherweight!"
Black looks spent on the mat… Oz backs into the ropes, rubbing his eyes. After a few seconds, Oz’s vision is finally back… He walks over to Black and grasps him again by the throat!
BAMA T: "Daggum, Oz skips the pin!"
TODD: "Mister Oz lost valuable time clearing his eyes! It’s possible he knows JB has had enough time to recover to force a kick out already!"
BAMA T: "Or ol’ Oz might just not be done giving JB a beatdown!"
Oz draws a thumb across his throat, signaling for the Sextuple German Suplex!
Oz heaves Black over his head for the first German…
BUT BLACK LANDS ON HIS FEET!
Oz spins around…
As Black heaves him onto his shoulders!
BLACKLISTED!
BAMA T: "FROM OUTTA NOWHERE!!"
Black, completely spent, lays backwards atop Oz!
The official counts!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
WINNER AND STILL REVOLUTION CHAMPION: JOHN BLACK
TODD: “WHAT A MATCH! Mister Oz put on a sadistic exhibition, absolutely physically dominant! BUT, John Black fought through, tooth-and-nail, refusing to stay down for the count! And through that grit, at least for tonight, he remains your Revolution champion!"
As the crowd roars in approval and John Black slowly gets to his feet, the camera cuts to Spencer Adams ringside. He slowly claps for the victor in a nod of respect for the intense battle he just witnessed, yet his expression remains guarded and thoughtful, hinting at his own ambitions..
BAMA T: That's a man with a lot on his mind, baby!
TODD: "Certainly, Bama. While he acknowledges the incredible effort put forth here tonight, those claps carry a bit of calculation with them as well. It's clear Spencer respects the battle, but he might also be envisioning himself in the ring for that very title soon."
A LITERAL GORILLA
- vs - AMERICAN NIGHTMARE
RAZOR BLADE SINGLES
A fat man walks out onto the entrance ramp.
3P4: Folks, how are you tonight? I’m “Precious” Percival Pringle IV, the manager of the most feared competitor in the XWF today, Hank!
TODD: Who is Hank?
BAMA T: Todd you knucklehead, everybody knows Hank, the Literal Gorilla that runs wild throughout the XWF.
TODD: Jesus, his name is Hank? I saw him rip a vending machine apart and down an entire bag of cheese doodles in one gulp! Hank’s not a wrestler!
BAMA T: Not at all, Todd, Hank is a champion wrestler, with accolades from several different companies.
3P4: Well, my client hasn’t been getting a fair deal here in the XWF. Look at his last match with Michael Graves. He was counted out! For that, tonight, I am proud to announce that the following match with be NO COUNT OUT!!!
TODD: What! This is massive, how did this Pringle guy manage that?
BAMA T: Pure southern fat dude swagger, Todd.
Gorilla plays throughout the sold out arena as A Literal Gorilla walks out onto the entrance ramp. It looks around at the crowd curiously, making its way to the ring. It stops at a fan holding a bright green sign. The gorilla grabs the sign and holds it up, pointing at the fan. It likes the bright green. It keeps the sign, which reads in big letters “WE CAME FOR TITS!” which is a double entendre and totes it with him to the ring. It drops the sign and rolls into the ring and sits, picking its nose.
The lights goes out and hear a voice saying Wrestling has one royal family and when Kingdom hit's fireworks burst open and Razor Blade comes out wearing a American nightmare outfit and left his arms in the mid air and fist pumps in a fake air and he saw a kid wearing a Blake shirt and he takes off his American nightmare belt off his waist in hands it to the XWF fan and climbs up the steps in hops on the turnbuckle and raises both arms in the air and more fireworks burst once again and he gets inside of the ring and climbs on the top rope taunts some more and gets down and takes off his American nightmare jacket and prepares for a fight
TODD: Well, that’s not a good sign, it appears Razor Blade’s intricate entrance has riled up the Gorilla!
BAMA T: You’re absolutely right there, Todd, that primate is going to go primal!
The Gorilla rushes Razor and grabs him, lifting him up in the air and throwing him into the fourth row!
TODD: Oh my god, the gorilla just sent Razor into the cheap seats!
BAMA T: Razor was cushioned from the fall by these dummy thicc midwesterners tonight!
Razor is reeling from what just happened so suddenly. The Gorilla bounds out of the ring in the opposite direction, freaked out by Razor’s shiny jacket! It liked the bright green sign! He runs through the crowd looking for a green sign!
TODD: This is insane, this is unheard of, this is unreal!
BAMA T: THIS IS ANARCHY, TODD!
The Anarchy loyal fans chant as they watch a Gorilla shove security and other people in his way to get out of the arena entirely.
The referee looks at the timekeeper! The timekeeper shrugs! The referee looks at Razor and points at him! Razor, the referee, and a cameraman run up through the crowd towards the path of destruction caused by the gorilla!
TODD: There’s no count out! This match can’t finish until either competitor has either been pinned or submitted!
BAMA T: Todd, hah, do you think anybody could put a submission hold on the literal gorilla without having their entire face ripped off?
TODD: Good point, Bama, the gorilla’s submission guard has always been impressive.
Razor, the referee, and the camera guy run outside the main gates of the Wilson Logistics Arena. They watch as the gorilla looks up, seeing a green street sign! The gorilla runs over to the street sign and leaps, grabbing the sign and pulling it down. It throws the sign at Razor, but the throw was way off.
TODD: Who let the gorilla have a hardcore rules match! He should be disqualified for using that illegal weapon!
BAMA T: They’re outside the ring, Todd, the referee is letting the boys have it out tonight!
TODD: That’s ridiculous!
BAMA T: Don’t you take this from me, Todd. I am watching three men chase a gorilla right now!
The gorilla gets into a taxi cab, and the cab takes off! Razor, the referee, and the camera guy get into another cab, and the referee tells the driver to follow the other car. The authority of an Anarchy referee isn’t questioned! The cab driver enthusiastically begins a car chase as though THIS was the fare he had waited for his whole life.
TODD: Oh, the referee has told the driver of that independent cab company to follow the gorilla’s cab!
BAMA T: I know, Todd, I’m watching this, the gorilla got in a taxi, then the three men got into another taxi and they’re chasing him, this is beyond words.
TODD: This is Anarchy!
The taxi stops at the Dickerson Park Zoo! The gorilla gets out, pays the driver and leaves a tip. The driver is absolutely furious as the gorilla hands it two radishes and half a carrot. The driver gets out and flags down the other cab! He’s demanding the referee cover the Gorilla’s cab fare! The referee stops and thinks for a moment! He checks the official XWF Anarchy handbook he keeps in his back pocket!
TODD: What’s the referee checking for, Bama?
BAMA T: There’s a rule that if a competitor runs out on a bar tab they can be disqualified, but he’s putting the book away, cab fare is NOT a bar tab!
TODD: He made the right call there!
The referee asks Razor if he has any small bills on him! He left them in his jacket! The camera man gives the referee twenty dollars! The referee pays the taxi drivers, and Razor, the referee, and the camera man all run into the closed zoo!
TODD: Folks, that XWF referee has ruled that trespassing into zoo grounds after closing hours is legal tonight!
BAMA T: Could be a risky call, but he’s letting the boys settle this tonight!
Razor, the referee, and the camera man all run through the eerily still zoo at night. Creatures slept all around them, the telltale direction they needed to go the random squawks, roars, neighs, barks, and trumpets heard as random animal enclosures are just run roughshod through. Razor, the referee, and the camera men all stop at the Gorilla enclosure.
TODD: Looks like the Gorilla went and turned this one into a home game tonight, Bama!
BAMA T: The referee followed every rule here tonight but he’s letting his gut decide it, let them fight after all!
TODD: They haven’t fought at all!
BAMA T: That’s not the point, Todd, I just watched three guys chase a gorilla through the zoo.
Razor and the referee go into the wide open door to the gorilla enclosure. Hoots and bellows from the great apes within struck up, as a literal gorilla steps forward, leading an entire pack of gorillas with him. In a display of dominance, the literal gorilla slaps the ground mightily! The referee calls it!
YOUR WINNER—'AMERICAN NIGHTMARE' RAZOR BLADE!
TODD: The gorilla just tapped out, Bama!
BAMA T: I saw that, but I don’t believe it, the referee counted that slap to the ground as a tap-out victory for Razor Blade!
The cameras cut to Theo Pryce in his office, looking down at a neat stack of papers on his desk: an XWF contract.
Theo Pryce: I need to be blunt, this entire process with your “client” has been, how shall I say, “interesting.”
The camera pans backwards to reveal a woman sitting across from him with her back to the camera. Her hair is bleached blonde and cut short in a pixie cut, and she wears a black blazer over a black collared shirt.
Woman: You know how they are: like to keep people on their toes.
Theo Pryce: Is that how you’d describe this whole “exterminators and puzzles” thing?
Woman: No. But it’s how they would.
Theo Pryce: I assumed “they’d” have the same little smirk on their face as you do now?
Woman: You know what they say about birds of a feather.
Theo Pryce: Right. Birds. Like owls, right?
His voice is sharp; he sounds tired and confused by the games. When the woman speaks, her voice is practically sing-song, as though you can hear the grin on her lips.
Woman: Probably.
Theo lets out a long sigh before looking back at the contract, flipping through it before finally coming to the last page.
Theo Pryce: Everything is in order. They get what they want, but there’s no back pay for the pageantry. That’s on their own dime, not mine.
Woman: Always was. Never expected it.
Theo Pryce: Good. Then I suppose all that’s left…
Theo looks down at the contract and pauses for a moment. He picks up the pen, but he seems apprehensive to sign. Nonetheless, after a moment he does so, folds the top pages back down, and slides it forward.
Theo Pryce: And now the ball’s in their court.
Woman: Wonderbar. We’ll have it in a few weeks’ time.
The woman rises, and once her head is obscured from the camera’s view, she turns towards the door to leave.
Theo Pryce: I don’t believe you ever gave your name.
The woman stops mid-stride, standing just in the door frame to leave.
Woman: Kinsey.
Theo raises an eyebrow, his head cocking to the side in suspicion.
Theo Pryce: That’s a fairly uncommon name.
Woman: It is, isn’t it?
Theo Pryce: I happen to know of a Kinsey. It seems like quite the coincidence for you to be named that as well.
Woman: Sure is.
Theo’s expression darkens as he folds his hands and leans forward over his desk.
Theo Pryce: What’s this all about?
The camera tilts up, revealing just the chin and the lips of the woman. The tip of some kind of blemish, either a mole or a tattoo, is faintly visible on her left cheek just below where her eye would be. She smiles widely.
Woman: The owls are not what they seem.
And with that, the woman exits and leaves Theo alone in his office, staring out in grim bewilderment.
“HEAR YE! HEAR YE!”
A spotlight shines on a figure on stage, decked to the nines in a jester outfit with a Zorro-like mask obscuring their identity.
The metallic march of armoured knights filing out onto the stage around the mysterious jester begins to reverberate around the arena, serving as the percussive backdrop to the blare of trumpets as a heraldic orchestra joins them.
Then…
The first, frenetic strums of Faith No More's "Gentle Art of Making Enemies" rips through the arena as strobes of gold and white cast across the stage and crowd.
Monstrous squawking overlays it.
From through the back entrance, a half-dozen gigantic vultures (far larger than should even be possible) swoop out into the arena. They circle the crowd overhead, looking for the weak and the frail for dinner. Cowards cower as the orchestra turns towards the sombre. Then, a small number of masked servants come crawling onto the stage. And strapped to their backs is a platform. On that platform? A throne. And on that throne? You guessed it…
The King.
His herald-of-the-week welcomes him.
Herald: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! Please rise for the Kingly King of Kings, King Kieran of House King!
King Kieran rises from his throne and the servants underneath immediately respond to stabilise it. The herald hands him a scroll and he begins to ‘read’ it. Over his shoulder the camera catches a glimpse of what's actually on the papyrus, and it seems to just be some crudely drawn pictures of women with gigantic breasts.
KING KIERAN: Rejoice! For your king has arrived! Indeed it is fitting that I stand before you to usher in the main event for that is a much more fitting place for The King! It's a pity about the participants of tonight's King's Kontest but we shall get to them in due time.
First! ‘Tis a time for celebration! For your king has conquered another realm in the name of X! And he has taken its most precious heirloom! Behold!
One of the vultures swoops down and deposits something into Kieran's hand. He raises it high into the sky - the shard of an ancient artifact known as the TRIAD, representing he whom displays enough Wit to be worthy of it.
The vultures flies off again and blue sparks ripple around the artefact, even arcing down King Kieran's arms.
KING KIERAN: Your eyes do not deceive you! Many from the land of X have tried to acquire one of these three pieces: Thaddeus Duke, ALIAS, Sean Parker, Corey Black, CYPH3R, Doc D'Ville, even the Universal Champion himself, Sebastian Everett-Bryce! None of them were good enough. None of them are on the level of your king! And none of them are worthy of this power!
But…! I did not achieve this momentous feat to gloat. Nay! I did it for you! For the people of X! To show you that you have a king who is worthy! To show you that you have a king who is capable of defeating any enemy that should endanger you! I am the last line of defence of this fine world! I am the King! I am the Wit King! And as I place this shard into my crown…
Kieran's actions match his words as he fastens the Wit piece of the TRIAD into the King of the XWF crown. It's strangely a perfect fit.
KING KIERAN: …you shall all see…!
Electricity sparks throughout the crown. Kieran rests it upon his head and his whole body ripples with the current.
KING KIERAN: …that I…!
It reaches his fingers and starts climbing his sceptre.
KING KIERAN: …I HAVE FUCKING LIGHTNING POWERS NOW!!!
CRAAAKOOOOOM!!!!
A bolt of lightning shoots from King Kieran's hands down towards the ring. He cackles afterwards.
KING KIERAN: But rest assured! I am your defender not your oppressor. And at the end of the day, I am still a simple man. I just want to be entertained. So Centurion… Micheal Graves… the deal is still the same. Fight until I'm satisfied. If you don't… you get my knight's spears.
And to my knight's… if you do not wish to use said spears…
…
…
You get the lightning.
Bring forth the kontestants!
The arena falls into silence as Gravy's theme begins to play.
Graves steps into the dim light at the ramp's top, exuding a menacing presence. The XTron displays a montage of Graves, each scene subtly hinting at his unnerving, predator-like persona, with visuals that are both eerie and discomforting.
As he makes his way down the ramp, graves points at Kieran King and mouths him off before he climbs into the ring.
KING KIERAN: Introducing first, he has the dubious pleasure of having had his ass beat by YOUR KING AND HIS on both Madness and Warfare, and part of me kind of wants to pull off the trifecta here tonight on Anarchy, but also… eww why would I do that? He has been a robot, a lady, and believe it or not at times actually considered to be a serious competitor - I know, it shocks me too. From who the fuck knows AND who the fuck cares?, and weighing 268lbs… I genuinely apologise if I've gotten his pronouns wrong… “The Dark Warrior” Micheal Graves!
The XTron continues to flash with unsettling imagery as Graves creeps towards the corner, removing his cape and tossing it outside of the ring.
As Gravy's theme fades away, the arena lights shift back to normal as Micheal looks on from his corner.
The crowd comes to life as 'Wild Thing' hits the system. Everyone jumps to their feet and sings along as Centurion walks out to the stage.
KING KIERAN: And his opponent, he is the boyfriend of the most prolific Anarchy Champion of all time - or was at least, I'm not fully up to date on the latest season of Octogenarians Banging Chicks in Their Twenties; he's also friends with some of the biggest stars this companies have ever seen; and he's the brother of the guy who discovered fire! That's right, this is a guy who is constantly surrounded by people who are better than him and after all these years you'd think some of that would have rubbed off but alas it has not! From Atlantic City, New Jersey, and weighing 190lbs… CENTURION!
Centurion rolls into the ring and strolls by Micheal Graves without acknowledging him. Graves grits his teeth and springs to attack Centurion from behind, but Mr. Referee stands in his way as Centurion plays to the crowd before preparing in his corner.
Then knight's march to ringside and surround it.
CENTURION - vs - DARK WARRIOR MICHEAL GRAVES SINGLES
The bell rings and both Centurion and Graves scan the pointed spears at ringside with a combined look of exasperation and - at least in Centurion's case - resignation.
TODD: "And now, folks, we have a match that's been brewing with tension for weeks! 'The Dark Warrior' Micheal Graves faces off against Centurion in what's being dubbed a King's Kontest!"
BAMA T: "You can cut the tension with a knife, Todd! Graves doesn't look like his usual self tonight, almost...hesitant?"
Micheal Graves paces around the ring, his eyes darting nervously between Centurion and Kieran King at ringside. Centurion moves in for a collar and elbow, but Graves backs off and begins mouthing off at Kieran instead.
"You think you can tell me what to do, King?! Think again, dummy!"
TODD: "Graves seems more interested in a verbal bout with Kieran King than a physical one with Centurion!"
The crowd watches in anticipation as Kieran's squire steps forward, shouting with authority, "Enough, Graves! Either you will fight for your King or you shall face the consequences!"
Graves leans over the top rope, flipping the bird directly at Kieran. The crowd gasps as one of Kieran's knights reacts swiftly, jabbing a spear into Graves' ribs.
BAMA T: "Oh, that's gotta hurt! The King's men are not here to play, baby!"
Staggering from the pain, Graves turns just in time to see Centurion charging at him. With tremendous effort, Centurion lifts Graves and delivers the Fabula Nova Crystallis. The impact shakes the ring, and crowd comes to life.
TODD: "What a devastating Fabula Nova Crystallis! Centurion pulled that out of nowhere, but at what cost? He already looks spent!"
Centurion crawls over to make the cover, but then he realizes the unique rules of this match. He looks up at Kieran, who holds his thumb sideways. The arena erupts with chants from the crowd, "ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!"
With a nod from Kieran, Centurion summons every ounce of his remaining strength, lifting the nearly unconscious Graves for another Fabula Nova Crystallis. The execution is rough, and the crowd winces at the awkward landing.
BAMA T: "That one looked brutal, baby!"
Instinctively, Centurion goes for another cover, then remembers to look towards Kieran again. The crowd, energized and roaring, chants once more, "ONE MORE TIME!"
Shaking his head in disbelief and exhaustion, Centurion pounds the mat in frustration before slowly rising. With great difficulty, he drags Graves up for a third Fabula Nova Crystallis. The move is barely held together, causing Graves to land awkwardly on his head, prompting concerns from everyone watching.
TODD: "I'm not sure if Graves can continue after that! What a punishing series from Centurion!"
BAMA T: "Look at that! Both men are down, but it's Centurion using the ropes to pull himself up. The King finally raises his thumb – it's over, folks!"
WINNER BY ROYAL DECREE: CENTURION
The crowd immediately erupts into boos as HGH strides down the ramp with a focused and intense look.
TODD: "Ladies and gentlemen, the atmosphere just took a turn here at Wilson Logistics Arena. That man walking down the ramp, HGH, returned to XWF Anarchy last week in what can only be described as a controversial fashion, attacking Anarchy Champion Sean Parker when he least expected it."
BAMA T: "Todd, it was a statement, plain and simple. HGH isn't here to play games. He's here to dominate, to conquer, and regain the Anarchy championship!"
As HGH climbs into the ring, the boos intensify, but he seems to thrive on them, soaking in the hostile energy with a smirk. He retrieves a microphone from the corner, ready to address the crowd and perhaps justify his actions.
TODD: "This crowd is giving HGH a reception he'll not soon forget, but from the look on his face, it seems to be exactly what he anticipated."
BAMA T: "He's the kind of competitor who doesn't just accept the hatred, baby—he relishes it, baby!"
”Did you miss me?”
The Anarchy crowd shower HGH with boos.
”That's what I thought. I didn't miss any of you sheep either. Now, I know that a lot of you people are thinking. Why? Why, after so long, do you come back and assault the Anarchy champion? Short answer, BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN!!”
”You see, Mr. Parker, I'm not like most of these guys you've faced. You see, I'm the guy that will walk through hell to get what I want. Mr. Parker, make no mistake about it, I'm the guy that will make you think twice before you make your move.”
”Keep your eyes on the back of your head Mr. Parker. I assure you, your days are numbered. Death comes for all, and you? You're no exception, so go about your days you have left as champion. May they be as joyous as you can make them. In due time I will reap your soul and your title. It's not a matter of if. Oh no, it's a matter of when. So heed my warning, keep your eyes open and your head on a swivel. You never know where I will come from!”
His threat hangs in the air as his expression shifts to mockingly cheerful.
”HI!”
????: Hey! Harmon!
-HGH is cut-off. He looks around the ring and the arena, trying to identify the source of the voice.
????: Hey, Fuck-Stick, I’m over here!
The fans cheer as everyone’s attention, including HGH's, is drawn to the Xtron where the Anarchy Champion, Sean Parker is shown.
Sean Parker: Well, well, well…if it isn’t Harmon Greyson Hays! Our beloved former Anarchy Champion who made such an iconic return two weeks in typical bad guy fashion…jumping someone from behind!
Sean smirks from his position on the Xtron and gives a mocking round of applause.
Sean Parker: You know, you said a lot of stuff there, Harmon… I’m this, I’m that, your days are numbered, you’re done for, blah, blah fucking blah!
Sean smirks again, shaking his head.
Sean Parker: Now, I did have some big long-winded, over the top rebuttal planned for you, but I think I’ll save it for another time. In fact, I think this would actually be a good time to tell you that this message is actually pre-recorded. Because I knew you would come out here tonight, Harmon. I knew you’d want to gloat about how you caught the champ unaware, how you laid down a marker. So I thought, why not lay one down of my own?
Harmon looks confused as the feed on the Xtron freezes with an image of Sean Parker smirking and pointing to the ring. Suddenly, a member of the XWF ring crew slides into the ring wearing an official XWF baseball cap and glasses, the crowd cheer as they recognise who it is! The ring crew member takes off the cap and glasses and it’s Sean Parker!
TODD: Wait a minute, Bama! It’s Sean Parker! He was disguised as one of the ring crew!
HGH turns around just in time and Sean lays into him, peppering him with rights and lefts, catching HGH completely unaware! Sean forces HGH into the corner and nails him with a spinning back kick that takes him down. Sean steps back, pumping up the crowd, pulling off his XWF polo neck which was part of his disguise. He measures HGH getting up and goes for Masamune Decapitation but HGH just sees it coming and rolls out of the way, sliding under the bottom rope and out of the ring, high-tailing it up the ramp, pointing at Sean whilst favoring his ribs.
TODD: "And just like that, Sean Parker turns the tables! HGH thought he had the upper hand tonight, but Parker's cunning has left him reeling!"
BAMA: "That's why he's the champ, baby! Always two steps ahead, even when you think you've got him cornered. HGH wanted to play mind games, and Parker just showed him he's playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers."
Sean returns the favor, mouthing off at HGH, climbing up on the second turnbuckle, motioning for him to get back in the ring but HGH dismisses him with a wave of his hands as he hurriedly backtracks and makes his way backstage.
Sean gestures and plays to the crowd who cheer loudly for the Anarchy Champion.
CREDITS:
Kieran King
Bobby Bourbon
Mark Flynn
Sean Parker
HGH
Centurion
Kinsey
*OOC Note: The next card will be posted Sunday night!
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