04 - 27 - 2023 LIVE FROM ARÈNA MAURICE-RICHARD OLYMPIC PARK, MONTREAL, QUEBEC UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT MASTERMIND - vs - TAYLOR RABID Singles THE ATOMIC BAT - vs - CHELSEA LECLAIR - vs - MOLLY BARNES Triple Threat Number One Contender for the Anarchy Title SARAH LACKLAN - vs - BUSTER GLOVES Poutine on a Show! The match will take place in a big bowl of gravy with french fries and cheese curds Dozens of Canadian stereotypes will surround the area eating as much poutine within the bowl as they can while the competitors inside wrestle If the Canadians finish the bowl before a winner is declared the match will be a draw HGH - vs - APHRIYA ADLER Traditional Rules Standard singles except for some very strict rules No exiting the ring, no climbing the turnbuckles, no closed fists, no lollygagging and no showboating If any of the rules to this match is broken the perpetrator will be immediately DQed OOC: ANARCHY RULES is 1 RP with a 1K WORD LIMIT unless stated otherwise Hard deadline for Anarchy will be WEDNESDAY, 04-26-2023 at 11:59pm board time. Good luck!

A shot of the night sky.

Panning through the beauty of Montreal.

Zoom cut to the interior with hundreds of rowdy fans.

ANARCHY'S MIGHTIEST PYRO SHOW!

pffffph

A single farty pyro shoots off and disappoints the fans.

Oh well, at least they have some signs to cheer them up!

WHO THE
FUCK IS
ATTICUS GOLD!?

SAVE SOME
POUTINE
FOR ME

VINNIE LANE VACATIONS
ON
EPSTEIN ISLAND

HEY NED, IT'S ME, YOUR FATHER
I KNOW WE HAVEN'T TALKED MUCH RECENTLY BUT JUST KNOW
I LOVE AND RESPECT YOU AND AM SO PROUD TO SEE HOW FAR
YOU HAVE BECOME. I LOVE YOU SON.
SYKE!
I'M ACTUALLY A GORILLA, EAT SHIT DORK!

We go to commentary where we see out new team at the table. A portly, cherub-faced Todd Moschitti greets us.

TODD: Hello everyone and welcome to Thursday Night Anarchy! We've got a great show for you tonight and this time we opened the doors on time! I'm Todd Moschitti and joining me is... ugh, Gator.

Todd's energy dissipates as a masked Gator whips his head around looking at him and then to the camera.

GATOR: The fuck is going on here? Where am I!?

TODD: Jesus, Gator! We're on Anarchy, man!

GATOR: Firstly, watch the attitude you saucy bitch, second... The fuck is Anarchy? OH! Is this the one with Darren Dangerous!?!?!?

TODD: That's Madness.

GATOR: ... It's not Madness, it's Darren fever, mate. And I got it BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

A groan crawls from Todd's maw as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

GATOR: ... Are people gonna wrestle each other or what?

---

---

MASTERMIND - vs - TAYLOR RABID Singles

TODD: Mastermind vs Taylor Rabid! An exciting opening match for our first ever Anarchy, wouldn’t you say, Gator?

GATOR: Oh my God, I’ve only had this job four minutes and now I have to watch a Mastermind match?

…

GATOR: This is Hell. I’m in Hell.

Already in the center of the ring is XWF’s Puppet Official, Mister Referee! Including a man dressed in black who is his helper and NOT a ventriloquist, kids!

TODD: Always great to see Mister Referee! XWF’s official counting expert!

GATOR: Which is why he’s not just a referee, but our company accountant.

Orgasmatron by Motorhead begins blasting through the speakers, the stage is engulfed in flashing purple, red and green lighting. Out walks Taylor Rabid, wearing his classic patched leather jacket. He jumps up and down excitedly and bangs his head to the music, his mane of hair thrashing around. He begins quickly stomping towards the ring.

He jumps up on the apron, and takes a second to look at the audience and then shouts at them to make some noise, hyping up the hardcore fans by asking them if they wanna see violence.

They do. They do, in fact, want to see violence.

Rabid jumps over the top rope and then goes to the corner of the ring and sits on the turnbuckle, waiting for his opponent excitedly.

TODD: Taylor Rabid, a relative newcomer to the XWF, has turned his fair share of heads so far! He beat longtime XWF star, Michael McBride in his debut. And took the thus-far undefeated Chad GPT to his very limit last Anarchy! Can he get the job done tonight against a future XWF Legend in Mastermind?

GATOR: As a current XWF Legend, I object to anyone calling MM a future XWF Legend.

A figure is seen walking out from the back wearing a black hooded sweatshirt on. The hood was over his head so he couldnt be seen, and his head was looking down.

He stands in a stance.

GATOR: What the hell does that mean ‘he stands in a stance’?

TODD: Well, he is standing.

GATOR: …Yes.

TODD: And I would say anyone standing is in a stance.

GATOR: …Stupid. It’s like saying “I breathed a breath” or “I ate eatingly”.

And as a white light appeared on his front, the figure unzipped his sweatshirt and showed the front of the t-shirt:



As it continued he turned around and took off his hooded sweatshirt and revealed the back of the t-shirt which read:



Rabid leaps down from the turnbuckle. With both hands waving invitingly, he beckons his opponent to come down here and get some…

…Suddenly, the man dressed in all black (that is NOT Mister Puppet’s ventriloquist), turns toward Rabid’s rear.

At the top of the ramp, the figure turns back around. From behind his back, he pulls out two flags, one Australian and one from New Zealand. He does a twirl, tossing them into the air! And catching them, extending them both outwards!

TODD: Mastermind clearly putting on a show in recognition of ANZAC Day!

GATOR: Yes, yes, dead Australians, very sad, blah, blah. Todd, what’s going on in the ring?

Indeed, in the center of the ring, and behind Taylor Rabid, Mister Puppet’s ninja helper… DROPS MISTER PUPPET LIFELESSLY TO THE MAT!

…Of course, it does not make much of a sound because Mister Puppet is a trim 24 ounces in weight.


The figure drops the flag and lifts his hood to reveal…

…

NOT MASTERMIND! BUT HIS STABLEMATE KRIS ‘THE HAMMER’ VON BONN!

Rabid is surprised. He turns around, expecting an amb-

THE HELPER NABS RABID WITH A MIND-SLEEPER!

TODD: Gasp! That means the ninja must be…

Rabid desperately claws at his attacker, grabbing his black silk ninja mask… He tears it off!

It’s MASTERMIND!

TODD: Who could’ve seen that one coming?!?

GATOR: Anyone who’s seen a Mastermind match before, Todd.

Mastermind kicks out Rabid’s leg, dropping him to the mat, and wrapping his legs around Rabid’s hips!

Rabid desperately tries to dig his unkempt, punk nails into Mastermind’s grip… But the Master of Minds only further tightens the hold!

Rabid… Rabid!

…

RABID PASSES OUT!

…

And without releasing the hold, Mastermind reaches out with his other arm…

Grabs Mister Puppet’s tiny felt hand. And points it at the timekeeper!

The bell rings!

WINNER BY SUBMISSION - MASTERMIND

Mastermind releases the hold on the unconscious Rabid.

At the top of the ramp, Von Bonn salutes to his boss and disappears back behind the curtain, still waving his flags.

Mastermind puts a foot on the back of his unconscious opponent and lifts his arms triumphantly.

TODD: A dominant showcase for Mastermind. Truly, he mastered Rabid’s mind on this occasion, Gator.

GATOR: And, for maybe the first time in XWF history, that ridiculous t-shirt made sense in context. This arena thought they knew the figure was Mastermind! But they really didn’t!

---

Backstage, the Anarchy Champion HGH is strolling towards his locker room, title belt over his shoulder, looking as confident as ever. He stops as he makes a turn down a hallway, and gets a big grin on his face. The camera pans out to reveal HGH standing eye to eye with...

Centurion!

HGH: Oh, it's the new janitor! Hey, welcome to the XWF! When you get a minute, can you take out the trash in my locker room?

Centurion: Cut the shit. For the past four weeks, I've had people giving me credit for your title victory, and I came here to set the record straight.

HGH: Great! So you're going to tell the world that I never needed your help, and that I was set to prove my supremacy over this brand, but since Sidney showed up your girlfriend, you had to show her up, too?

Centurion: Not hardly. I didn't have a damn thing to do with that interference at March Madness. In fact, I hated that you won. I wanted to be the one to take down Sidney. I wanted to be the one who took the belt off of her and humbled her.

HGH: Yeah, well, you weren't, now if you'll excuse me...

HGH goes to walk away, but Centurion steps in front of him.

Centurion: I don't think you understand. I came back to humble Sidney and take the Anarchy Title. Sidney's already humbled...but that doesn't mean that second goal is going away.

Centurion glances over at the Anarchy Title, which HGH adjusts so Centurion can get a better look at the gold he holds.

HGH: I doubt you've earned a shot, but if you somehow weasel your way into a match, understand something...I'm getting pretty used to putting old, cocky bitches.

HGH and Centurion stare down a bit more before HGH grins one last time and turns around to walk away.

---

---

"Atomic Bat Theme" performed by The Aquabats plays

The arena lights begin to flicker as the music of The Atomic Bat begins to echo through the building, signaling the arrival of the masked crusader. The excitement in the arena is palpable as the crowd rises to their feet, eagerly anticipating the arrival of their hero.

Suddenly, the revving of an engine can be heard, and the Atomic Bat appears on her Atomic Batcycle at the top of the ramp. The crowd's excitement intensifies as she revs the engine, sending sparks flying from the back of the bike.

With a deafening roar, the Atomic Bat zooms down the ramp, her cape billowing behind her. She expertly circles the ring on her bike, showing off her skills to the audience before finally coming to a stop and dismounting.

The Atomic Bat removes her helmet, revealing her masked face to the cheering crowd. She takes a moment to soak in the admiration of her fans before making her way to the ring.

As she climbs into the ring, the Atomic Bat surveys her surroundings, taking note of any potential threats. She remains focused and composed, ready for whatever challenges await her.

The crowd continues to cheer and chant her name, showering her with love and admiration. The Atomic Bat acknowledges their support with a nod and a wave, showing her gratitude for their unwavering loyalty.

As the match is about to begin, the Atomic Bat takes a moment to mentally prepare herself, visualizing her strategy and getting into the zone. She is determined to emerge victorious, not just for herself, but for her fans as well.

With a fierce determination in her eyes, the Atomic Bat waits for the bell to ring, ready to unleash her full arsenal of moves and prove once again why she is the hero that this city needs.

"Chelsea" by STEFY plays

"Chelsea" by STEFY hits and the fans cheer as Chelsea LeClair walks through the curtains, poised, confident and determined to make things happen in this match as she begins to walk down the aisle. She soaks in some cheers a bit as she gets to ringside and at this point, she's all business as she slides into the ring. Soaking things in a bit more, she climbs up the corner to the second rope with a smile, a fist raised in the air and a quick point to the crowd before she hops back down to the corner, leans against it and waits for the match to begin.

"I Predict a Riot" by Kaiser Chiefs plays

Molly Barnes jogs to the ring giving a smile and a wave.

Gator squints watching Molly.

GATOR: Wait a minute... I think I know her!

TODD: Do all British people know each other?

GATOR: I dunno cunt, do you know the inside of every Twinkie wrapper? ... She looks stupid familiar...

THE ATOMIC BAT - vs - CHELSEA LECLAIR - vs - MOLLY BARNES Triple Threat Number One Contender for the Anarchy Title

DING!

Chelsea and Molly look at each other, nod, and immediately charge towards the Atomic Bat. The Bat, being a superhero with enhanced reflexes, ducks under the incoming double clothesline attempt and counters with a double arm drag that sends both opponents to the mat.

GATOR: "Wow, what a display of athleticism by the Atomic Bat! She just took down both of her opponents with ease!"

TODD: "That's what makes her such a dangerous competitor, Gator. She may be small, but she's quick and resourceful."

The Atomic Bat takes advantage of the momentary disorientation to perform a springboard DDT on Chelsea, followed by a rope bounce arm drag on Molly. She then delivers a running high knee to Chelsea and a basement dropkick to Molly, sending them both to the outside of the ring.

GATOR: "The Atomic Bat is on fire! She's taken out both of her opponents and has the ring all to herself."

TODD: "But you can't win if your opponents are outside the ring."

As the Atomic Bat postures to the crowd, her downed opponents, Chelsea and Molly start to recover and get back up to the apron. The Bat sees them and charges towards them, but they both step through and counter with a double clothesline that sends her crashing to the mat.

GATOR: "Chelsea and Molly are showing the Atomic Bat that they won't go down without a fight."

TODD: "Yeah, but how long can they work together? Only one of them can win and become the number one contender for the Anarchy Title."

As Chelsea and Molly start to fight each other, Atomic Bat slowly gets back up and watches from a distance, waiting for the right moment to strike. Molly goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Chelsea counters with a Snap Suplex. Chelsea then goes for a Boston Crab, but Molly slips away from her and counters with a kneebar.

As Molly continues to wrench on the submission hold, Atomic Bat climbs to the top rope and prepares for a top rope double foot stomp. She jumps off the rope and connects with Molly’s chest, breaking the hold!

GATOR: "What a move by the Atomic Bat!"

TODD: "That was a risky move, Gator, but it paid off for the Bat. She's still in this match."

GATOR: "And now the Atomic Bat has the upper hand. She's taken out one opponent and has the other at her mercy."

TODD: "This match is really living up to the show's name, Gator. It's unpredictable and absolute ANARCHY!"

*Gator groans*

As The Atomic Bat pulls LeClair up from the mat, LeClair quickly fights back by delivering a sharp elbow strike to the Bat's ribs. The Bat stumbles backward, but quickly regains her footing and charges towards LeClair with a clothesline attempt.

LeClair ducks under the clothesline and counters with a dropkick that sends the Bat crashing to the mat. LeClair then goes for a quick pin attempt, but the Bat kicks out at two.

GATOR: "LeClair showing her tenacity here, Todd. She's not going to let the Atomic Bat get the upper hand."

TODD: "That's right, Gator. LeClair knows how important this match is, and she's going to do everything in her power to come out on top."

As LeClair continues to dominate the Atomic Bat, Molly slowly makes her way back into the ring. She charges towards LeClair, but LeClair counters with a back body drop that sends Molly crashing to the mat.

GATOR: "LeClair is taking control of this match! She's showing why she's one of the top contenders for the Anarchy Title."

TODD: "But she needs to be careful not to let her guard down, Gator. The Atomic Bat and Molly are both dangerous competitors who can turn the tables at any moment."

As LeClair focuses on Molly, the Atomic Bat slowly gets back up and climbs to the top rope once again. She jumps off the rope and connects with a diving crossbody on both LeClair and Molly, sending all three competitors crashing to the mat.

GATOR: "What a move by the Atomic Bat! She's taking out both of her opponents at once!"

TODD: "But can she capitalize on this opportunity, Gator? That's the key question."

As the three competitors slowly get back up, the Atomic Bat charges towards LeClair, but LeClair counters with a superkick that sends the Bat reeling. LeClair then goes for her finishing move, the LeClair Lock, but Molly breaks it up with a running knee strike to LeClair's back.

GATOR: "These three competitors are pulling out all the stops, Todd! They're willing to do whatever it takes to win."

TODD: "And with a shot at the Anarchy Title on the line, Gator, you wouldn't expect anything less."

As the three competitors continue to trade blows, the audience is on the edge of their seats, eagerly awaiting the outcome of this intense triple threat match.

Chelsea sends a stinging forearm into Atomic Bat's temple as Molly goes for a kick and accidentally boots Bat in the groin, Barnes hisses in sympathetic pain as she apologises to Bat only for LeClair to take advantage, hoofing Bat out of the ring and turning right into Barnes and sweeping her leg!

LeClair immediatly wraps Barnes up!

TODD: TTFO!

LeClair locks in her Figure 8 and Barnes is reeling!

GATOR: What does TTFO stand for?

TODD: Tap the heck out, Gator.

GATOR: HA! The dumb bitch spelled it wrong.

Barnes tries to go for the ropes but they seem lightyears away.

Atomic Bat gets up from the outside and shakes the cobwebs!

Molly's face turns a bright red and she's on the verge of quitting!

But Atomic Bat rushes the ring and tries to pull Molly out!!!

BUT SHE ISN'T QUICK ENOUGH!!!

MOLLY TAPS OUT!

WINNER VIA SUBMISSION - CHELSEA LECLAIR!

LeClair's music hits as she exhaustedly gets to her feet and celebrates in the ring. Bat looks disappointed but comforts a downed Molly by patting her hand.

TODD: Great win for Chelsea but you gotta give it to the other girls in this match, they tried their best but-

GATOR: Shut up, Todd, you sound desperate. They're not gonna kiss your beanie-loving head for complimenting them. They did mediocre and could have done better! Now LeClair is the number one contender to the TV title because her opponents didn't give 100%

TODD: Anarchy title, not TV, dude.

GATOR: ... THIS PIECE OF SHIT HAS THEIR OWN TITLES TOO!?

---

It cuts to the arena where Anarchy is taking place in, where we see Gator and Todd at the booth cutting the rug. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the camera pans towards JB and Tommy who are wearing the Gemini rings on their own necks. The head up to the booth, and we see JB getting a mic from the RA and speaks to Todd and Gator, as fans were giving mixed reactions towards the Madness Gemini Champions.

GATOR: What the heck are you two blokes doing here? Did’nt y’ahll left Anarchy a while ago?

JB: You could say we did, but now here we are back here as the Madness Gemini Tag Champions.

Tommy then messes with Todd for a minute by messing with his headset, then Todd wanted to give his headset in fear, but Tommy pats him on his head and fixes his shirt. Then he gets handed a mic from nowhere, and he looks behind them to see a fan who wants to snatch his Gemini Ring, but stops him.

T: Hey hey hands off the merchandise pal, i don’t want want to pound you in like Todd would deal with his fleshlights.

Todd then gets flustered as Gator laughed at his commentator pal.

TODD: HEY THATS PERSONAL!

GATOR: OH H’USH BRUV, TAKE A PISS WILL Y’AH! They just messin around here.

Then JB and T enter the ring, and they survey the crowd. Then both men start to whisper to one another away from the hard cam, then Tommy starts to speak to the crowd.

T: What’s up Anarchy peeps? I bet you don’t miss us killing the show with our antics every two weeks on Thursdays. I know right now, while Vinny is at home playing his Jimmy Dix bass guitar, reminiscing on his days on the indies back in the 80s… we currently hold his own crown jewel… the Madness Gemini Championship.

Then then take it off their necks and wave it to the crowd as they give pretty much good cheers towards them, then they place it back on their necks, and they walk around the ring.

TODD: My My, for guys who walked out of Madness out of spite sure do know how to make a return.

GATOR: Who says they are returning on Anarchy?... I didn’t see their names on the card, oh hell who reads those anyways!

T: Here’s the deal, we came out here tonight to show some love and all that…ah who i’m bullshittin, we came up here to show these Gemini rings on our necks. It’s flosisn hard an–

JB: Yeah yeah, that’s been already established bling bling type shit… but let me be honest with you all, after our match on Madness last few weeks in the past, it got me thinking we should come back on Anarchy. I know I told Vinny that we anit comin back on Anarchy but… after some fair deliberation, and Reggie informing us he’s pursing his TV title dreams… we like to know, who’s the new boss of Anarchy?

JB and T asked the crowd who’s the new manager of Anarchy.

GATOR: Oh man, these guys only left after what like two or four weeks ago and they don’t keep up with the product. Well, it is a nothing show compared to Warfare or Madness.

Todd: Man, you sound like a hater!... but i don’t blame you for saying that though.

T: Well now we know who JB is. Take a Guess…

JB: Is it Ruby?...

T: Nope

JB: Is it Sidney’s stepchild demon fake ass Commish Sarah Lacklan?

T: Oh no, by now she should have given us some tag titles on this show by now.

JB: Oh right right… well i’m outta guess wait a minute.. It’s Atticus Gold?

T: EXCATLY!!...

JB: Well no matter who owns this show or not, we are letting you and the fans know that we are coming back to Anarchy!

Then the fans pop for that announcement from JB.

JB: Who knows, maybe I might fuck around and give a Blacklisted to Mastermind, or maybe Tommy exploits his fuckin fetish on live tv against Molly Barnes or sumthin like that. Whatever happens, will happen on Anarchy… got any last words, T?

T: Last words are this… Anarchy, Gold, Todd and Gator… THUGS are back, and fucked up more than eva!

Then they leave the ring, and walk through the crowd as it cuts back to the commentators that leads into the next segment.

---

The arena is alive as several of Montreal’s needy are dressed in Canadian Stereotype outfits to eat free poutine! We see a homeless man in a Mountie uniform just digging in. We see three Celine Dion impersonators. Then we see the real Celine Dion, but people like one of the impersonators more! We see the actual Alanis Morissette, and nobody gives a flying fuck, but she’s eating poutine, unironically. Dave Coulier is not there. Fuck that guy in the ear. We see hockey players, and lumberjacks, which are a standard go-to when it comes to Canadian stereotype. We also see a Moose! Well, a moose costume. The head of the moose flips open, and it’s Bobby Bourbon?

TODD: Woah!

GATOR: Look, actual star power on Anarchy!

Bobby chomps down on some free, probably lowest grade possible poutine on a Thursday night. From behind him, we hear a familiar voice as a flap opens and Charlie Nickles pokes his head out!

GATOR: BOB is here on Anarchy!

TODD: Eh, who cares though?

Bobby, are you really just here to eat poutine?

Bobby swallows.

Don’t take this from me, Charlie, I wanted this, damn it, and I was told I had to be a Canadian stereotype to get the free food. Look, consider it a study, I pinned Sarah, you've never beaten her over like five centuries. Now would you please just keep the mantra of our moose here and be my ass?

Charlie looks grumpy and goes back into the costume.

I hope that doesn’t give you gas.

Just shut up and be bootylicious.

A jolly short chef in a classic toque trots out with a massive kettle. He’s brimming from ear to ear, and pours more of his signature economy poutine into the pit that has replaced the ring.

[

“Burn” as covered by Stabbing Westward plays.

The lights go out. The sounds of music and a snorting bull fill the arena as smoke rises from the stage. The lights return to the arena and Buster Gloves rises from the floor of the stage as the words "BUSTER GLOVES" play on the tron. "Burn", as played by Stabbing Westward, plays as blue and white lasers bounce around the arena

Stoic and unshaven, Buster scans the audience, conveying more with a look than a thousand words. The Bull of the North. He checks his chin, by giving it two short punches with a black padded glove on his left hand. The letters W.I.F.E. (Wrestling is Forever) printed on the backside of it. He wears a black t-shirt with the word "SAGA" written in gold on his chest.

Buster descends the ramp high fiving kids, pointing to the cheap seats up top, and bouncing his head to the music. He crawls up the ring steps like a silverback gorilla, wipes his shoes on the apron and ducks in under the top rope into the ring. Then side hops a circle around the ring before coming back to center, trampling poutine everywhere as he does, kicking it up into the people’s faces as they eat. He removes his mask and checks his chin one more time as he poses for the hard cam.

Moonlight Sonata permeates throughout the arena.

The lights in the building go down and a spotlight shines on the ring, where we see Tig O’Bitties. But the XWF ring announcer has changed out of her normal uniform of a spaghetti strap so thin that her monstrous bust looks like two watermelons being held up by Dollar Store floss, because the XWF is STILL run by 13-year-olds, and into a far more appropriate dress of black and red which features fully shoulders and cloth covering her from heel to her neck.


TIG: Everyone, please stand for the arrival of the MOST Decorated Wrestler in XWF History.


About half the crowd stands as-


EYES





ON






ME!

A red spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp as a metal version of the Moonlight Sonata plays. Through the curtain walks a woman, dressed like she’s about to ride through a New England town in 1913, carrying a large plaque.

TIG: She has been awarded the Newcomer of the Year in 2019…

Another woman carrying a plaque walks out.

TIG: …she has been recognized as having THE best debut promotional video ever…

A third woman with a plaque joins them.

TIG: …she has the record for the FASTEST victory in the XWF, wherein she made Atara Raven, of the House of Themis, tap out in five seconds…

A fourth woman with a heavy plaque.

TIG: …she has the BEST smile, with an estimated worth of being in the billions…

Yet ANOTHER woman walks out.

TIG: …and, as seen at some point in the future due to the reality-bending tape delay schedule of Anarchy, the undisputed greatest return in that show’s history…

Sarah calmly walks out onto the ramp and stops, taking the time to look at the crowd. As the guitars play, she slowly walks down the ramp, careful to avoid the touch of any fans, as the women carrying the plaques follow in her wake.

TIG: Standing at the perfect height of 5 feet and 2 inches, and weighing in tonight at a buff and squat 145 pounds-

Upon approaching the ring, the woman quickly arrange themselves in front of her, dropping to all fours, into that of a human staircase, for Sarah to ascend.

TIG: -and fighting simultaneously out of both the Hills of Hollywood and the Blueberry Fields of Maine-

Sarah slips through the ropes as two of the women hurriedly open them for her.

TIG: -she has an overall XWF record of 39 wins, 8 losses, and 2 draws-

Sarah makes her way to a corner, sloshing through poutine as she does, eventually leaning her back into it.

TIG: -she has won the Universal Championship…the Tag Team Championship…the Anarchy Championship…the Leap of Faith Rafter Match…and survived War Games…

Sarah pushes herself up the turnbuckle until she sits atop the highest pad, a queen on her throne.

TIG: …she is the Blood Princess…the Firestarter…both the Poshest of Goths AND the Gothest of Poshes…the Matron of Pigeons…Ilhar de La'al...YOUR Rule 63 Thanos……SARAHHHHHHHHH

Tig takes a big breath as Sarah looks around at the crowd with a small smirk.

AKA: Resting Sar Face.

TIG: LAAAAAACKLAAAAAAAAAN!

Sarah gives Tig a small nod of approval before slowly raising one fist into the air as the crowd splits in cheers and jeers. She stops and looks at Bobby with utter disgust as he engorges on the poutine. Bobby looks back at her and give a thumbs up before returning to the free eats. The referee calls for the bell, and we are underway.

SARAH LACKLAN - vs - BUSTER GLOVES Poutine on a Show!

TODD: Dude, this match is brilliant.

GATOR: This match is just plain weird.

Buster and Sarah tie up in the middle of the poutine. Buster gets an easy hammerlock in, looking almost bored, slapping the back of Lacklan’s head, Lacklan stomping and kicking up gravy and french fries everywhere. A cheese curd lands somewhere it certainly oaughtn’t, so taboo you dare not utter it. Lacklan counters the hammerlock with a tight arm wrench, doubling Buster over. Sarah wrenches the arm again, and it sends Buster to a knee, which crushes at least three recommended servings of poutine into some mush that tastes just like poutine. Lacklan follows up with a Mark of Cain, which also sends Lacklan splattering into the poutine and kicks poutine everywhere. It’s a poutine-a-palooza. The homeless man dressed like a Mountie has fallen asleep ringside. Lacklan dives for a cover, splattering even more poutine everywhere. The referee hits the slop, and begins a very messy count!

.89773…












2.211…

















Kickout!

TODD: The referee is even taken back by the poutine problem!

GATOR: Well the chef is here to help with that!

TODD: I thought that if the Canadian stereotypes finished the poutine, it would be a draw!

GATOR: There’s enough poutine out there for all of Canada, Todd. Remember that.

The jolly chef again waddles out and pours another helping of Poutine from a kettle into the pit in the ring replacing the mat. One of the Celine Dions pushes her way to the fresh batch. Alanis Morissette is smoking a cigarette with Eugene Levy. Hey, Eugene Levy is here! HE’S THE CHEF! Bobby and Charlie as moose have fucked off, they have shit to do. Lacklan has Buster Gloves in a Leg Scissor Bodylock in that big ole’ mess of poutine, and they’re just flopping around in it like crazy, kicking up a poutine mess everywhere. We go to commercial in the middle of the rest hold!

~~~~~

We see Atticus Gold.

AG: Hi, Atticus Gold here, we at XWF Anarchy are proud to say we are now partners with The Hunger Project.

Cut to show clips of Atticus Gold meeting with members of the press and the higher ups from The Hunger Project, a charity dedicated to ending world hunger.

AG: We know what it’s like for some families and people who struggle to just eat, day in, day out, and we’re doing our part. Our XWF Stars have helped the hungry for years, and we’re here to do our part as well.

Cut to show a clip of Morbid Angel bringing two huge grocery bags to a needy family. The scene swiftly changes to show Unknown Soldier bringing bottled water to natural disaster victims.

AG: That’s why we at the XWF support being responsible with food, and not wasting it. Thank you, and bless.

~~~~~

We rejoin the hot action in the ring as Buster Gloves is making a poutine angel, that’s a snow angel only with poutine. A massive string of fireworks fire off, first a series of rockets all shooting towards the north end of the arena, then a massive string of fireworks shooting towards the south end of the arena. Vinnie, somewhere sandy and warm is most likely happy that a shit ton of pyro happened.

Sarah Lacklan wrenches in the dreaded half crab, causing Buster Gloves to mash up and throw around even more poutine. The chef, one Eugene Levy, comes back down to the ring with a digging machine, the scoop of it entirely full of more poutine.

He dumps it into the ring and it splatters everywhere. A mob of hockey players have hopped the railing, actual ones that play here, the whole Montreal Canadiens team is there, and they’re having the fresh batch of poutine. These well-paid professional athletes are now trying to get as many morsels as they can before they’re annihilated by other well-paid professional athletes.

GATOR: This is just ridiculous, what do you have to say about your countrymen, Todd? ... Todd?

Todd is off the commentator's booth, unable to conatin his lust of poutine as he dives into the metaphorical pool and begins lapping up the cuisine.

Sarah, decidedly having enough of this shit looks for Buster to end the shenanigans.

But Buster is out of there! With a smirk looking back, Gloves gives a middle finger to Lacklan as the Canadians fall into the big bowl and eat as much as they can with Sarah kneeling in the center covered in gravy.

Lacklan screams in a bloody tantrum as the stereotypes, and Todd, get near to Lacklan like a horde of cheese curd-craving zombies!

The referee, also confused, decides to call it.

WINNER VIA COUNT-OUT? - SARAH LACKLAN!

Lacklan's theme hits as she pushes past the dozens of people and gets out of the bowl to immediatly shower.

GATOR: ... What the fuck have I signed up for? ...

Lacklan disappears up the ramp, furious, as her cronies try to clean her and pamper her.

GATOR: Is the poutine good, Todd?

Todd gives a big thumbs up.

GATOR: Ugh, fuck it.

The sound of a headset dropping is heard as Gator leaves the booth to join in on the poutine as Anarchy fades to its final commercial break.

---

---

The theme music of the Lady King, Sidney Grey began to play as she walked out alongside Gina Van Zyl.  The two South African stars ignored the fans as they remained focused on the task at hand.
 
TODD: We are being graced by royalty Vinnie, but this isn’t gonna be no social call!  Over the past few weeks, Sid has had the Anarchy and Universal Titles all but stolen from her and tonight she has promised a reckoning with the person responsible…RUBY!
 
GATOR: Mate! She does realize that Ruby is retired, right?  I mean, it’s pretty clear who’s responsible, right?
 
TODD: Are you questioning the wisdom of our King?
 
GATOR:  Well…yeah.
 
TODD: HERESEY!
 
Inside the ring, Sid slashing her hand across her throat to cut the music.
 
Sidney Grey: CUT THE MUSIC! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
 
The fans booed, in characteristic fashion, but she ignored them all as she ordered the ring announcer, Tig O'Bitties into the ring.
 
Sidney Grey: Please Dear, do a better job of holding the microphone than your spine does of supporting those fun bags of yours!
 
The fans booed the harsh treatment of Ms. O’Bitties as she attempted to remain professional. 
 
Sidney Grey: Ruby, over the past several weeks you have backstabbed me, ambushing me at March Madness and costing me the Anarchy Title!  Then…in an even more despicable act than that, you involved Gina in your twisted plot…kidnapping her and forcing me into a match that I didn’t pick, costing me the Universal Championship!
 
GATOR: Damn dark days for XWF!
 
Sidney Grey:  Ruby, I have always known you were behind this and I have been calling you out for weeks…well, tonight all of this ends after you come out here and face me…so I can retire you…ONCE AND FOR ALL!
 
GATOR: This is ridiculous!
 
Sid grabbed Tig, giving her a rough shake.
 
Sidney Grey:  Now, I want you to do your job and announce Ruby…and if she doesn’t walk through that entranceway…you’re getting retired next!
 
The fans boo’d loudly as Tig attempted to leave, only to be dragged back to the center of the ring.
 
Sidney Grey: DO IT!!
 
Tig swallowed nervously as she did as she was told, hoping that the Banana Lime Blur would show up, just as Sid had demanded. 
 
Tig O’Bitties: Ladies and gentlemen…RUBY!
 


All eyes turned to the entrance way as Ruby’s theme was played and fans hoped that the masked hero would show, none more than Tig.  After a few moments, Sid forced Tig to her knees as the woman began to sob.
 
Sidney Grey: YOU DO IT AGAIN, AND DO IT RIGHT!!
 
Tig brought the microphone of as she made another announcement, this one sounding more like a plea.
 
Tig O’Bitties: Ladies and gentlemen…RUBY?!
 


Again, nothing happened and Sid yanked of Tig and tossed her hard into the corner, eliciting a chorus of boos.
 
GATOR: OI! Where is security?!
 
TODD: I don't think they were scheduled for this segment!

The arena lights begin to flicker as the music of The Atomic Bat begins to echo through the building, signaling the arrival of the masked crusader.


 
GATOR: THERE WE GO!
 
Anarchy’s hero, the Atomic Bat appeared at the top of the ramp, ready to run down, but Sid held her at bay.
 
Sidney Grey: HOLD ON BATS!  I was holding on for a hero, but I didn’t ask for a rookie in training!  If you take one more step down that ramp, I will have Gina punt kick one of these over inflated boobs into the crowd, and I’m pretty sure that you’re not fast enough to stop the catastrophic silicone explosion that will devastate a quarter of this arena!  Now…fly your ass on out of here…or else!
 
The fans boo’ed as Atomic Bat seemed torn, unwilling to leave Tig to her fate and not wanting to allow the innocent ring announcer to come to harm.
 
Sidney Grey: I’M WARNING YOU!! 
 
TODD: Atomic Bat had best to bow to the wishes of our King!
 
Atomic Bat struggled with the dilemma, a bit too long for Sid’s liking.
 
Sidney Grey: Gina!
 
When her best friend didn’t respond, Sid turned around as Gina smile turned to a vicious scowl and she slowly pulled out a mask from her jacket pocket, the same one worn back the assailant that had attacked her at March Madness and forced her into an unwinnable ladder match.
 
GATOR: IT’S GINA! SHE’S BEEN BEHIND THIS THE ENTIRE TIME, MATE!
 
Gina Van Zyl: Sid, you have done nothing but torment me, your family, and everyone in this company, so now you get to find out how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot! 
 
TODD:  THIS ISN’T RIGHT!  SHE TURNED ON OUR KING?!
 
Gina Van Zyl: At March Madness I took your Anarchy Championship…but I never dreamed you’d not only find a way to become King of the XWF, but slither up even higher up the XWF ladder to become Universal Champion.  I have to admit…so was so fitting that you lost that title the way you did…and I was the cause!
 
Sid stood in stunned silence, seeming rooted to the spot.
 
Gina Van Zyl: Just remember Sid, you brought all of this on yourself…because in the end, all you’ll ever be is a BITTER…OLD…LONELY…BITCH!
 
She tossed the mask to her and Sid caught it and stumbled back, shocked and confused.  Gina brushed past her, pausing to see if Sid would attack.

Gina Van Zyl: You can have Anarchy. I'm done with this place and I'm done with you! 

Gina climbed out of the ring as Tig scrambled out the other.  Jeers and taunts echoed through the crowd at the lost and dejected reality star as she stood alone in the ring, unable to do anything but take the abuse and insults.
 
TODD: THIS IS TERRIBLE!!
 
GATOR: Are you serious?!  This is karma, dickhead!  She got what she had coming if you ask me and anyone else on Anarchy, this arena, or the XWF!
 
The scene goes on for an uncomfortably long time with Sid looking shocked and defeated as the show went to commercial.

---

A shower of rainbow colored lights falls upon the stage just as "Bad Girl" by DAYA begins to play. Aphriya Adler then explodes from behind the curtain jumping and reaching out to the crowd, each side of the stage. Then it seems as though the rainbow lights escort down the ramp. Her energy is high and quite contagious as the crowd cheers for her. Aphriya tries to touch each fan's hand that are outstretched down the ramp. She seems to glide into the ring under the bottom rope seamlessly. She bounces to each side raising her hand to the crowd with a bright smile.

The music begins to fade and the gameface comes on. Removing her jacket then keeping herself loose in the corner awaiting the battle to begin.

GATOR: "Wow, what an entrance from Aphriya Adler! She really knows how to get the crowd hyped up."

TODD: "Absolutely, Gator! The rainbow lights and upbeat music really set the tone for her high energy performance."

GATOR: "And just look at the way she's interacting with the fans on her way to the ring. She's making sure to give every fan some love and appreciation."

TODD: "It's great to see a wrestler who really cares about their fans, Gator."

GATOR: "Definitely, Todd. But let's not forget, she's here for a fight. Once that music fades and she takes off that jacket, she means business."

TODD: "That's right, Gator. And I can't wait to see what she brings to the ring tonight against Harmon Greyson Hays."



As the arena lights begin to flicker, HGH’s theme blares through the speakers, and Harmon Greyson Hays, better known as HGH, struts out onto the stage. His arms are outstretched, and he is smirking at the crowd as he basks in the boos and jeers of the XWF fans.

GATOR: “And here comes HGH, the Anarchy Champion himself. He's certainly not winning any popularity contests here in the XWF.”

TODD: “But you can't deny his skills in the ring, Gator. He's got a lethal combination of power and agility that can take down any opponent”.

GATOR: “That may be true, Todd, but I just can't stand his cocky attitude.”

As HGH slowly makes his way down the ramp, he stops to taunt some fans at ringside, smirking and laughing at their insults. He finally reaches the ring and climbs up onto the apron, his eyes never leaving Aphriya Adler in the ring. He steps through the ropes, removes his robe, and begins to loosen up his muscles, preparing for the match to come.

TODD: HGH looks like he's ready to dominate tonight.

GATOR: Let's see if he can back up all that talk in the ring.

HGH - vs - APHRIYA ADLER Traditional Rules

(DING!)

As the bell rings, HGH and Aphriya circle the ring, each trying to get a read on the other. HGH starts with some trash-talking, taunting Aphriya with his cocky and arrogant personality. Aphriya doesn't seem to be affected by his words, but instead, she responds with a stiff forearm to the face of HGH.

GATOR: "Wow, what a shot by Aphriya! HGH might want to focus on the match instead of running his mouth."

TODD: "I think HGH needs to be careful. Aphriya is not one to be underestimated."

HGH stumbles back, clearly caught off guard by Aphriya's attack. He charges forward, attempting a clothesline, but Aphriya ducks and counters with a snap suplex, sending HGH crashing to the mat.

GATOR: "Aphriya is showing some impressive athleticism here!"

TODD: "I'm loving this, Gator! She's taking it to HGH!"

Aphriya continues the assault with a series of kicks and punches, but HGH fights back with an eye rake, much to the disapproval of the crowd. HGH seizes the opportunity and hits a spine buster on Aphriya, slamming her to the mat.

GATOR: "That was brutal! HGH is taking control of this match."

TODD: "He might have the advantage now, but Aphriya is not done yet."

HGH taunts the crowd, basking in his moment of dominance. As he turns around, Aphriya catches him off guard with a running dropkick, sending HGH stumbling into the corner. Aphriya follows up with a sleeper hold, attempting to wear down HGH.

GATOR: "Aphriya is keeping the pressure on HGH. Can he escape the hold?"

TODD: "He needs to get out of it soon or he might pass out!"

HGH manages to break the hold by throwing Aphriya off of him, but he's clearly feeling the effects of the hold. Aphriya takes advantage of his weakened state, hitting him with a series of kicks before going for her Pink Stars signature move. However, HGH sees it coming and counters with a rolling cutter.

GATOR: "What a counter by HGH! He's not going down without a fight!"

TODD: "This is a back and forth match, Gator. I can't believe how evenly matched they are!"

Both wrestlers are down, trying to catch their breath. As they start to get up, HGH hits a clothesline on Aphriya, but she ducks and catches him with a backstabber. Aphriya goes for her finishing move, the Ce La Vie, but HGH breaks away.

GATOR: "HGH with another counter! He's not giving up!"

TODD: "This is incredible! What a match!"

HGH hits Aphriya with a Double Dose, his finishing move, and transitions into a Fujiwara armbar. Aphriya struggles to break free but eventually taps out, giving HGH the victory.

WINNER VIA SUBMISSION - HGH!

GATOR: "HGH with an impressive win tonight. He might not have his Anarchy Championship on the line, but he certainly proved himself in the ring."

TODD: "That was a great match! I can't wait to see what's next for both of these talented wrestlers!"



GATOR: "The atmosphere here in the arena is electric! What's going on here, Todd?"

TODD: "Looks like we're about to be treated to a special entrance from EDWARD, Gator!"

HGH looks towards the entrance ramp in confusion.

GATOR: "Listen to this crowd! They are absolutely loving it."

EDWARD bursts through the curtain, his face painted with fierce, primitive designs. He thumps his chest and raises his arms, eliciting a massive reaction from the crowd.

GATOR: "And here comes EDWARD, Todd! He looks like he's ready for a fight!"

TODD: "He certainly does, Gator. Just listen to the way he's riling up the crowd!"

"EDWARD HERE!" he bellows. "HGH SAY HE STRONGER THAN EDWARD? HGH WRONG! EDWARD STRONGEST WARRIOR!"

GATOR: "Oh my goodness, Todd! Did you hear that? EDWARD is calling out HGH!"

TODD: "He certainly is, Gator! And the crowd is eating it up!"

The crowd cheers wildly, chanting EDWARD's name as he makes his way down to the ring, pounding his chest with each step. He climbs into the ring and snatches the microphone from the ring announcer.

"HGH, YOU MAN ENOUGH TO FACE EDWARD NEXT ANARCHY? YOU SAY YOU STRONGER THAN EDWARD, BUT EDWARD NOT KNOW THIS! EDWARD KNOW EDWARD STRONGEST WARRIOR, PERIOD! HGH HAVE CHANCE TO PROVE EDWARD WRONG NEXT ANARCHY. EDWARD TALK TO ATTICUS! YOU WILL HAVE CHANCE TO FACE EDWARD FOR ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP. EDWARD WILL BE WAITING, AND EDWARD WILL BE READY!"

GATOR: "What a challenge, Todd! EDWARD is calling out HGH for a championship match!"

TODD: "That's right, Gator. And you can tell he means business!"

HGH, taken aback by EDWARD's challenge, lunges forward to attack him from behind, but EDWARD dodges the blow with a lightning-fast reflex. EDWARD quickly responds with a massive short-arm clothesline, sending HGH crashing to the mat.

GATOR: "Whoa! EDWARD with the quick thinking and the powerful clothesline! HGH didn't see that coming!"

TODD: "EDWARD is not someone to be messed with, Gator. HGH better watch out if he wants to keep his championship!"

EDWARD then rises to his feet, thumping his chest once more as the crowd goes wild.

GATOR: "And listen to this crowd! They are loving EDWARD right now!"

TODD: "And who wouldn't, Gator? EDWARD just laid out the Anarchy Champion like he was nothing!"

As HGH lies on the mat, EDWARD plays to the crowd, basking in the adoration of the fans. The announcers continue to hype up the upcoming championship match between EDWARD and HGH at the next Anarchy.

GATOR: "This is going to be an incredible match, Todd! Two powerhouses battling it out for the Anarchy Championship!"

TODD: "I can't wait, Gator! It's going to be a showdown for the ages!"

And with that, Anarchy fades to black.

---

Special thanks to those who helped write matches and sent in segments BOBBY BOURBON GRAVY MARK FLYNN SIDNEY GREY THUGS CENTURION And everyone who RPed this week.