LIVE FROM ROGERS PLACE
EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA
LORD RAAB
- vs -
SUENE EL MOLDE X-Treme Rules!
GINA VAN ZYL
- vs -
HGH
APHRIYA ADLER
- vs -
ASTRA
THE ATOMIC BAT
- vs -
LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA
MOLLY BARNES
- vs -
MASTERMIND
TOMMY WISH
- vs -
SIDNEY GREY Barefoot Match!
Neither competitor will be permitted to wear anything on their feet... and the ring itself will be ELECTRIFIED and send jolts of wattage through the canvas at random!
OOC: ANARCHY RULES is 1 RP with a 1K WORD LIMIT unless stated otherwise. Tag Team matches require one collab RP per team rather than two separate ones.
Hard deadline for Anarchy will be WEDNESDAY, 2-22-2023 at 11:59pm board time. Good luck!
We start off by fading backstage…
Sid had prepared Ruby’s Retirement Celebration with care, transforming the catering area into something of a makeshift shrine to the Banana Lime Blur. Everything had been done, tongue in cheek as she disrespected the former champion’s legacy:
When no one else came to speak, Sid acted sad and surprised, but the smug look on her face spoke volumes. This merely confirmed for her that she had done the company a favor. She finished her drink and returned to the stage.
Sidney Grey: Well, this was a HUGE waste, kinda like Ruby’s entire career here in The XWF! All that time, playing at being a hero and righting wrongs, when all she really ever did was annoy the hell out of people and serve as the comedy relief! Well, all of that came to an end when Tommy Wish made the audience’s real wish come true by beating her and taking the Anarchy Title! However, tonight that belt will find its way to me…the woman that made sure we would never again have some costumed idiot as the face of the brand!
Sid paused as her assistants showered her with adulation, clapping, cheering, and whistling in absence of a real crowd.
Sidney Grey: Tommy Wish, you played your part, but now it’s time for you to make way for the future. You can step aside, or you can be removed, just like Ruby!
Sid dropped the microphone to the floor, sending an electronic screech throughout the room as she limped off, smiling to herself.
The opening pyro for XWF Anarchy explodes across the air, and everyone from Edmonton to Calgary are treated to a dazzling display of fire and color and sound that’s WAY cooler than any dumb Northern Lights.
CamBot drones whir around and spiral into Rogers Place, finding various audience members with their homemade signs held high:
POSITIVE
VIBES
BROTHER
I MAKE
BETTER SHIRTS
THAN MASTERMIND
LSM
IS
MY
MAMACITA
HAPPY
VALENTINE’S DAY
MAVERICK
LOVE, MOM
Finally the drones find the announce booth with its usual occupants - the XWF owner and Anarchy GM “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane and Bama T!
Bama holds little Sassafras the chihuahua up for the crowd to see, and the dog is thrilled.
Vinnie Lane: "Welcome to Thursday’s Finest, everyone! It’s time for some ANARCHY! Bama, are you stoked for what we’ve got on the agenda tonight? I mean, we’ve got a pretty wild main event with Sid Grey going against Anarchy Champ Tommy Wish in a barefoot electrified canvas match!"
Bama: "Yep, we sure do - which is pretty weird! But it’s gonna be a heck of a match either way, just like these other bangers… GVZ versus HGH? That should be on PPV! Adler versus Astra? A plus alliteration! The Atomic Bat versus LSM? Good enough!"
Vinnie Lane: "It’s gonna be better than good enough, Bama, I can guarantee that! We’ve also got a blue brand debut from Molly Barnes to look forward to, and we threw her right into the deep end with a match against former champion MASTERMIND! But for right now, we’re starting things off with an X-TREME RULES match between Lord Raab and Suene el Molde!"
Bama: "This is gonna be NASTY! Let’s get to the ring!"
LORD RAAB
- vs -
SUENE EL MOLDE X-Treme Rules!
Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and green mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.
Vinnie Lane: "Not a good outcome for any of these two men, they were the ones that took the fall in their respective matches!"
Bama: "But you have to wonder whether Raab's experience - and his penchant for extreme rules matches will be the decisive factor against Sueñe el Molde!"
The lights go down as “Sweet Dreams” by Marilyn Manson begins to play. Blue and purple strobe lights begins to flash through the arena as the song picks up. After awhile the lights shine on the entranceway as Sueñe el Molde steps out onto the stage. He looks around momentarily before slowly making his way down the walkway to the ring, paying no attention to the fans. He slides in under the bottom rope and stands up before turning to face the entranceway.
Vinnie Lane: "If I were Sueñe el Molde, I'd want to bounce back from a debuting loss with a resounding victory!"
Bama: "And putting down Raab at his own game would have all the makings of that!"
DING! DING! DING!!!
The luchador and the Green German Diseased Monster rush at each other and they waste no time going at each other in a wild exchange of strikes! Raab gains the upper hand with a vicious series of punches, and rocks Sueñe el Molde with an European Uppercut! Molde is staggered back and Raab seizes the opportunity with a vicious spear right against the turnbuckle! The mysterious luchador slumps over to the mat and Raab goes for the cover!
Vinnie Lane: "Ouch! I felt that one from here!"
Bama: "Nothing else but enthusiastic administration of pain to be expected from Lord Raab!"
1!
2!!
NO!!! Sueñe el Molde kicks out!
Vinnie Lane: "But Sueñe el Molde is not falling once more!"
Bama: "Last show he was the one to go down, but he’s going to have to put Raab out of commission if he’s going to make the comeback here!"
Raab isn’t going to let Sueñe el Molde go that easily, especially in a match of these characteristics, so a nefarious idea springs up in his mind. He lifts up Sueñe el Molde and places him on the turnbuckle, then gets behind him on the top rope!
Vinnie Lane: “Uh-oh! We’re going to see something ugly here!"
Bama: "Bet Roxy says that every time before bed!"
Vinnie Lane: "That’s ru- WAIT! EVEREST RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX TO THE OUTSIDE!”
*CRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!*
Raab and Molde launch from the top rope to the outside of the ring, and the two wrestlers crash against the barrier - Molde taking the brunt of the massive impact!
Vinnie Lane: "RAAB MIGHT HAVE SHATTERED SUEÑE EL MOLDE’S SPINE!"
Bama: "And maybe got himself killed in the process!”
The two wrestlers lie motionless on the floor outside the ring, but both begin to show signs of life. Raab is first to rise and removes a safety pad from the ground - exposing the concrete beneath. He forces a still-crawling Molde to his feet before placing him between his legs…
Vinnie Lane: "How much more violence will satisfy Lord Raab!?"
Bama: "This is the Green Diseased German Monster - he won’t be happy until Sueñe el Molde is dead!”
Raab hoists up Molde for a Piledriver… NO! Molde plants his feet on the floor, and soon it’s the German wrestler lifted upside down… AND DOWN MOLDE GOES!
*CRASH!!!*
Vinnie Lane: "AAAAAAAAH! REVERSAL BY SUEÑE EL MOLDE! Lord Raab landed head first!"
Bama: "That might have cracked Raab’s skull!”
Raab now lies lifeless on the exposed concrete, and Sueñe el Molde goes for the cover!
1!
2!!
NO!!! Raab gets his shoulder up at the last second!
Vinnie Lane: "It’s total Anarchy in the opening match! These two wrestlers are really honoring the show!"
Bama: "Raab tried all but to kill Sueñe el Molde, and Molde might have just got one over him!”
Sueñe el Molde is still recovering from Raab’s brutality, but he means to pay it back! He grabs a steel chair from the announce table and approaches the rising Raab… and he throws the chair right at him!
Bama: "Think fast!”
Raab catches the chair before it impacts against his face - wait! SUEÑE EL MOLDE KICKS THE CHAIR RIGHT TO RAAB’S FACE!
*CRASH!*
Vinnie Lane: "OH MY GOD! ENZUIGIRI KICK FROM SUEÑE EL MOLDE!"
Bama: "After all he did to Molde, he wasn’t going to leave here unscathed!”
Raab crashes into the floor once more, the crimson mask now appearing over the one he wears as a habit! But Molde isn’t done yet! He forces Raab to his feet and rocks him with a jaw-jacking punch! And another! And once more - NO! Raab with a block and a punch of his own! The two battered wrestlers are now engaged in a brawl that travels throughout the stands, and no amount of words from the official is enough to get them to the ring!
Vinnie Lane: "This has turned into total mayhem!"
Bama: "It’s EXTREME RULES BABY!”
Raab goes for his boxing strikes but Molde is having no more of that! He ducks a hook from Raab and lands a haymaker to his stomach! Raab doubles over and Molde brings him down with an Implant DDT! Raab is down and Molde goes for the cover!
1!
2!!
NO!! Raab gets his shoulder up!
Vinnie Lane: "This has to end soon! None of them can take much longer!"
Bama: "Both men are a bloody mess, and they’ve been all but broken in half! Whoever lands the next move will end it all!"
Vinnie Lane: "Phrasing, dude!"
Bama: "I meant this match, geez!"
Sueñe el Molde has had enough of arena brawling, and tosses the still grounded Raab into the ring once more. He tries to force him to his feet but Raab lands a desperation low blow! Molde doubles over and Raab gets behind him - slamming him to the mat with a German Suplex!
1!
2!!
NO!! Molde gets a shoulder up at the very last second!
Raab has had enough! He drags Molde’s lifeless body up to the corner and rips off the turnbuckle, then places Molde on the top and climbs once more!
Vinnie Lane: "It’s the end! He’s going for the Killerbuster!"
Bama: "On an exposed turnbuckle! Molde’s brain is going right through it!"
Vinnie Lane: "This is inhuman! Someone do something!"
Raab lets out a primal scream and signals for the end. He lifts up Molde… but Molde won’t go!
Vinnie Lane: "WAIT! MOLDE FIGHTING BACK!"
Bama: "What a war, ladies and gentlemen!"
He lands a punch on Raab! And another! One more! Raab is rocked and has the proverbial stars dancing around his head, and Molde stands on the top rope with Raab between his legs and trapped in a double underhook…
Vinnie Lane: "Here he comes! THE DREAM CRUSHER (Pentagon Driver!)"
Bama: "And quite literally at that!"
CRASH!
Raab goes forehead first against the exposed turnbuckle, and crumples to the mat, now utterly motionless. Exhausted after this superhuman effort, Sueñe el Molde steps down and all but falls over on the lifeless Green Diseased German Monster.
1!
2!!
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Vinnie Lane: "And very thankfully, this one’s over!"
Bama: "Sueñe El Molde is a warrior beyond doubt!"
Winner by Pinfall - Sueñe el Molde
We cut back from commercial break to see a collection of LFL NY Pride players standing in the ring, all decked out in their football gear, save for the two men standing in front of them. Those men are none other than Charlie Nickles and Marf, who are wearing matching NY Pride polos and coaches visors. Each man has a microphone in hand, and the half-dozen or so women standing behind them are begging them to speak their piece. The crowd, of course, is already booing the shenanigans of these Carnie Bastards.
Vinnie Lane: "Now what are these two idiots doing out here....they're not booked for anything tonight!"
Bama: "And why do they have all those sexy ass women with them? This might get FREAK-AY!!"
Vinnie Lane: "Oh no, I hope not! Those women play for Thaddeus Duke's LFL team, and Charlie and Marf are their coaches!"
Bama: "Well it's only fitting then! The most offensive mind in sports entertainment is standing there in the ring, Vinnie! Things might get wild!"
Charlie smirks as he glances back at Marf. Then, he lifts up the mic. A steady trickle of boos keeps pouring in from the crowd.
Nickles: "Now now now, why are you good people booing us? I take it you're not fans of the New York Pride....and I get that, I suppose. You're probably jealous, envious, filled with loathing. You see they way that Charlie's Carnies prepare these women for war, each and every week, and our results speak for themselves.
The NY Pride is the #1 ranked team in the LFL, all because of the X-factor my training gives them...and the steroids, of course, help!"
Charlie throws his head back in laughter as that sly dog Marf picks up his own mic.
Marf: "Thaddeus hired me and Charles to coach his football team cause he knows he's too pussy to whip these women into proper shape. He's paying Charlie's Carnies top dollar to coach the #1 ranked team in the LFL.....or at least, he was."
Marf purses his lips and shakes his head from side to side. The women standing in the back of the ring all nod their heads in agreement with clear looks of anger on their faces. That's when Charlie steps back into the center of this picture.
Nickles: "But no one has seen heads or tails of the Duke since I called him out last week. Last anyone saw, he was sitting around his house, just moping, trying to act tough in front of his mirror: because as it turns out, Thaddeus can only be a real man when nobody else is in the room. That's why he's never come to NY Pride practice, because he knows ol' Marfy Swagsonz' and I will emasculate him at each and every turn."
The NY Pride players standing in the ring all nod their heads in agreement.
Nickles: "But still, Thaddeus always comes around for the coaches meeting, to suck me off and tell me how good I'm doing. That's usually when he hands me my game check for the week, too....but this week?"
The Nickleman purses his lips before shaking his head from side to side in disparagement.
Nickles: "There was no sight of that cocksucker anywhere in the office- OR OUR PAYCHECKS!"
Marf and the LFL players behind him all start looking increasingly agitated.
Nickles: "So me, Coach Marf, and all the special teams players are going to wait in this ring until Thaddeus comes out and finally gives us some answers- AND SOME MORE MONEY!"
The women cross their arms as Marf nods in agreement.
Marf: "And if that pussy lil' bitch won't come out and see us in person.....then we'll have to take our pay anyway we can!"
And with that, Charlie, Marf, and the ladies all start taking apart the XWF Anarchy ring! They start taking the pads off the turnbuckles, tucking them into their jerseys. Marf and Charlie head over to the ropes and start trying to steal the metal clips off of them. The crowd boos loudly at this nonsense!
Vinnie Lane: "What the heck is this!"
Bama: "They need to get paid, Vinnie!"
This goes on for half a minute or so until the lights in the arena suddenly start flashing red and green. Then, a video package rolls across the screen: it's a video package showcasing the season highlights of the TENOCHTITLAN QUETZALCOATL, Vinnie Lane's football team!
Then, we see LSM and the rest of TENOCHTITLAN QUETZALCOATL walk out onto the entrance ramp amidst a huge pop from the audience! All the players, sans LSM, are fully dressed in their football attire. Latina Submission Machina, however, is dressed for her match tonight against the atomic bat! And speaking of bats, LSM is wielding a wooden one with foul intent! She lifts a mic up to her lips as she leads her LFL team down the ramp towards the ring.
LSM: "I've heard you go on for long enough, you bastards! Your ranting and moaning might be justified, but this ain't the place for it, and you're not taking your frustrations out on MY brand! You said you were going to start being a better man, Charlie Nickles.....so you should stand still while I beat some more sense into you!"
LSM and the TENOCHTITLAN QUETZALCOATL slide into the ring! Charlie and Marf look like they're about to shit themselves when they see LSM swinging around a baseball bat, and the two carnies immediately slide out of the ring and hightail it through the stands! LSM slides out of the ring behind them, chasing them throughout the arena with her new baseball bat!
The special teams players fom the NY Pride, however, show a lot more backbone! The ladies of TENOCHTITLAN QUETZALCOATL start DUKING it out with the ladies of the NY Pride, and it's a complete clusterfuck, with helmets flying everywhere!
Bama: "This is getting wild, just like I said! I hope all those women are wearing cups!"
Vinnie Lane: "Why would they nee-....whatever, we just need to get security out here ASAP! I don't want any of my players getting suspended for this!"
As the two LFL teams brawl in the center of the XWF Anarchy ring, we see Little Feather running down the entrance ramp with his security team. They slide into the ring and start trying to separate the frantic ladies as Vinnie tries to transition away from this clear violation of LFL league policy.
Vinnie Lane: "We'll uh, we'll be right back after a quick break in the action!"
GINA VAN ZYL
- vs -
HGH
Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva plays as Gina Van Zyl steps through the curtain and walks down the ramp.
She smirks at the crowd as she walks down with a smug look on her face, then raises her hands above her head when she gets halfway down.
She then runs the rest of the way and leaps up onto the apron, and then leaps over the top rope into the ring with a smile on her face! She gives the crowd a salute, and is booed and littered with trash by the rowdy crowd!!!!
Vinnie Lane: "After what she did to Ruby last Anarchy, it's no wonder why the crowd is so anti-Gina tonight!"
Bama: "Yeah, Canada is full of a bunch of jealous babies that can't deal with the fact that their so called hero got put to pasture by THAT woman right there! you know what I Always say; Out with the old, in with the new, baby!"
She does a little jog in the ring, taunting the crowd with wahh-wahh eyes as their disdain only grows stronger.
Vinnie Lane: "Man, they hate Gina so much here in Edmonton! It'll be interesting to see what sort of reaction HGH draws when he comes out!"
Gina continues taunting and is even yelling at the crowd!
Suddenly, HGH bursts through the curtain to a chorus of cheers as he walks in with his typical arrogant and cocky demeanor, but seems to bask in the cheers while he struts down to the ring, acting like he is doing them a favor just by showing up and wrestling tonight!
Bama: "Dang, I ain't ever heard a reaction like that for Harmon! Just when I had lost faith in this country too, baby!"
HGH stands across the ring from Gina Van Zyl, taunting her, smiling widely, and telling the crowd about how much stronger he is than her, and how little she will be able to do about it. Van Zyl just stares him down, clearly ready for a fight as the crowd breaks out into chant!
*HGH* *HGH* *HGH*
Vinnie Lane: "You do realize that HGH only has the crowds support because he's NOT Gina Van Zyl, right dude?"
The camera pans the audience of mostly Banana/Lime, catching many shots of signs that either support Ruby:
*GET WELL SOON RUBY*
*Gina Van Zyl Sucks!!!*
*Holding Out For A Hero...*
*Gina Van Zyl Can't Read Clocks*
And the final sign we are shown: *HGH Hides His Bacne With Spray Tan!*
Bama: "Dang, baby, you ain't wrong!"
HGH continues flexing his muscles and roars at the crowd, telling them that he will put Gina away early.
The bell rings, and Gina charges right at HGH from across the ring!
Bama: "Oh, baby! The Actions off to a quick start!"
She takes the first swing, which HGH blocks to a big pop, and HGH gets her in a quick rear chinlock as the rowdy crowd cheers him on!
Vinnie Lane: "HGH looking to slow down the pace!"
Van Zyl, enraged, tries to headbutt HGH, but he breaks the chinlock and shifts her a little bit, so she misses then holding her by the back of the head, he drops forward so that she faceplants with a thud!!!
Bama: "HGH is using his size and strength advantage to keep Gina neutralized! It's a good plan, baby, but that had to be expected and Gina Van Zyl isn't one to come in unprepared!"
HGH tries to tie her up on the mat, but Gina kicks him in the leg to force him to back off as the crowd boo her efforts!
Bama: "Told ya, baby!"
She is able to get back up and charges at him again, only this time, he back body drops her as she rushes in, and she lands on her back hard, as HGH delivers a running elbow drop right to her stomach to wind her!
Vinnie Lane: "Oof!"
HGH starts laughing and playing to the crowd as Gina is gasping for air on the mat!!
Gina gets up from the canvas, having gotten her wind back!
She cracks her neck and rushes in at HGH! HGH steps in with a big clothesline... but Gina evades it at the last second, ducking under his arm and onto the ropes behind him, leaping into the sky and using all her momentum to deliver an ELBOW STRAIGHT TO HGH'S HEAD!
Vinnie Lane: "WOW! What a huge hit!"
Bama: "HGH goes down HARD! I knew Gina would have a plan, baby!"
HGH crawls into the corner and leans against the bottom turnbuckle as Gina Van Zyl stalks in close, but HGH lures her in close enough to grab her top and yank her face first into the middle turnbuckle as he rolls out of the way! She hits the turnbuckle... HARD... before landing on her back!!!!
She groans on the mat, as HGH is laughing profusely, and making sure the crowd knows that he isn't even breaking a sweat tonight!
Vinnie Lane: "HGH seems to be more concerned with the audience tonight than keeping his focus on the task at hand!"
HGH grabs Gina and sets up for "The Injection Shot" but she suddenly springs to life, catching HGH by surprise and slipping his grip before connecting with a BIG spinning backfist and a kick to the midsections and!!
Bama: "Cape Town Crush, baby!" (Canadian Destroyer)
The jeers from the crowd are defining as Gina scrambles for the cover!
Vinnie Lane: "That could be all that it takes, Bama!"
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
*HUGE POP*
Gina jumps straight back to her feet and attempts to intimidate the official! She then turns her attention back to HGH who is trying to crawl under the ropes to escape the ring! Gina stomps the crap out of him as HGH flops around the ring, trying desperately to escape the onslaught of stomps and kicks! Gina eases off as HGH crawls into a seated position in the corner. Gina smiles as she dives in with a flurry of strikes! HGH tries to power his way out of it! Shoving her off and pulling himself to his feet, but Gina puts a stop to his momentum when she springboards off of the ropes and connects with a Bulldog to send HGH back to the mat!
Vinnie Lane: "This is proving to be as hard a hitting of a match as I've ever seen!"
Bama: "Gina Van Zyl isn't done yet either, Vinnie! She's preparing to FLY!"
Gina tries for a 450 splash (a move she calls Savannah Winds) but HGH gets his knees up and Gina crashes hard, rolling across the ring holding her midsection as HGH uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet.
HGH looks at the crowd and smirks at them, taunting them as he holds Gina in a Rear Chin Lock, causing Gina more agony as she tries to get free from his hold and escape!
The crowd is clearly livid, and they are screaming and roaring at HGH, who just smirks back at them!
As their yelling and screaming continue to get louder, HGH smirks back at them, and then lifts Gina up a bit, causing her more pain from the Chin Lock she is in!
Gina waited until the official was distracted, as she reached up and raked HGH brutally in his eyes, blinding him! She then quickly reached up and took HGH by his head, and slammed him directly into the canvas before he could react!!!
HGH hits the canvas hard, and is now blind from Gina's brutal eye rake!!!
Van Zyl stomps on HGH's stomach, and then hammers him directly in the side of his head with elbow after elbow after elbow! HGH is just lying there, blind from the eye rake, and cannot really do anything as she hammers him with her brutal elbow strikes…
Gina reaches up and grabs HGH, but gets rolled up suddenly by the much larger wrestler!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Van Zyl kicks out at 2, preventing HGH from getting the victory! The crowd is on their feet with all eyes on the action in the ring!
Gina rushes HGH, but due to the latter's much greater size and weight than Gina, it's like Gina had hit a brick wall... it doesn't even faze him as he takes the impact, and pushes Gina clear across the ring, and into the ropes, where she falls through the middle-rope to the floor below with a thud!!!
Gina is slammed into the ropes, where she falls through the middle-rope to the floor below with a thud!!! Gina is now on the floor outside of the ring, on the ground, not moving!!! What is HGH gonna do NOW???
Gina reaches up and rakes HGH's eyes again, forcing him to let go of her hair. She then immediately rushes into him and knocks him into the steel steps, using his own momentum as a counter to put him directly into them! Gina then turns him around, and starts brutally punching him directly in the side of his head, as the official calls out the count of 4!
Gina rolls back into the ring, and climbs up to the top turnbuckle.
Gina leaps off the top turnbuckle... and SLAMS onto HGH from above with a BRUTAL 450 SPLASH! He slumps onto the steel steps, limp and motionless!
Vinnie Lane: "Gina hurt herself with that one! Now you have to wonder if either of these two can beat the ten count!"
The official makes it all the way to nine before Gina manages to quickly roll in and right back out of the ring to restart the count. Gina slumps against the apron, obviously in tons of pain from that ultra high risk maneuver! HGH begins to show signs of life himself as he slinks down the steps to his knees. Noticing this, Gina pushes off the apron and goes on the prowl as the crowd try to get behind HGH and will him back to life.
Bama: "Yeah, Canada is full of a bunch of jealous babies that can't deal with the fact that their so called hero got put to pasture by THAT woman right there! you know what I Always say; Out with the old, in with the new, baby!"
Gina grabs HGH and pulls him to his feet. She tosses him into the ring, but he catches himself on the apron and fires back with a stiff elbow to Gina's head! She staggers back and leans against the announce desk! HGH presses in, but Gina catches the big man with a quick thumb to the eye!
Vinnie Lane: "Hey! That's illegal!!"
Bama: "Not if you ain't caught, baby!"
Gina smashes HGH head first into the announce table before running him under the bottom rope and rolling in behind where she attempts the pinfall!
1!
2!!
KICKOU-3-T
*THE CROWD ERUPTS!!!*
Vinnie Lane: "No! HGH kicked out right before THREE! This match is still ongoing!"
Gina slaps the mat in frustration, sure that was a three count! She backs the official into the corner before turning her attention back to HGH.
But then...
Vinnie Lane: "What the crap? That's Sidney Grey's music! She's not scheduled until later tonight!"
Bama: "I bet it's friggin' TODD back there screwing up in the production truck! SCREW YOU TODD, YOU SUCK!"
Gina spins on her heels as the AnarchoTron lights up, but no one emerges from the back. GVZ mouths something VERY nasty but then turns back around to focus on HGH.
Gina pulls at him, setting up for a second Canadian Destroyer, but HGH digs deep and catapults her over his shoulders to a pop! Gina jumps to her feet, having not taken much damage from the fall. She grabs at HGH, who is still off balance and dazed. She whips him into the ropes! On the rebound HGH fires in with a clothesline, but Gina drops to the mat to trip him up, but HGH leaps over her rebounding off of the ropes again, where he is met with an Enziguri!
Vinnie Lane: "All air on that one!"
Indeed, Gina crashed to the mat as HGH held onto the ropes to stop his momentum! Gina's dazed as she pushes off of the mat...
INJECTION SHOT! HGH HOOKS THE LEG AS THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!
Vinnie Lane: "Double H hit all of that one!"
Bama: "These idiots are acting like he did it for them!!!"
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Harmon Grayson Hays
Vinnie Lane: "What a win for HGH! Gina is a TOUGH fighter, but Hays got the job done and got his hand raised in the end! Wow!"
Bama: "See? It ain't so hard for ya to give credit where it's due after all!"
The sound of panic is heard backstage as several XWF staff members and officials scramble down a hallway. Lying against a wall is Gina Van Zyl, a trickle of blood pouring from her forehead down the side of her face. An EMT is the first to reach her, followed by a large security guard.
Security: What happened? Who did this?
Gina yells back at the security guard in frustration.
Gina Van Zyl: I don’t know! They were wearing a mask. Cheap shotted me as I was walking to my locker room.
The security guard turns back towards the rest of the officials and crew members.
Security: Increase security! Look for someone wearing a mask.
Gina Van Zyl tries standing up, but is unable to get to her feet. The EMT grabs her before she’s able to fall back to the ground. Gina tries to shove the EMT off of her, but is too wozy to do so and finally accepts her fate.
EMT: We have to get you to a medical facility and get you checked out for a concussion.
The EMT walks Gina back up the hallway as the backstage camera cuts.
Bama: There’s an insane person on the loose! Call the cops, baby! Call the national guard!
Vinnie Lane: There’s a lot of questions surrounding Gina Van Zyl’s relationship with Sidney Grey, but it doesn’t look like we’re going to get any further answers tonight!
APHRIYA ADLER
- vs -
ASTRA
Coming back to the ring, Atra is already there ready to go…
A shower of rainbow colored lights falls upon the stage just as "Bad Girl" by DAYA begins to play. Aphriya Adler then explodes from behind the curtain jumping and reaching out to the crowd, each side of the stage. Then it seems as though the rainbow lights escort down the ramp. Her energy is high and quite contagious as the crowd cheers for her. Aphriya tries to touch each fan's hand that are outstretched down the ramp. She seems to glide into the ring under the bottom rope seamlessly. She bounces to each side raising her hand to the crowd with a bright smile.
The music begins to fade and the game face comes on. Removing her jacket then keeping herself loose in the corner awaiting the battle to begin.
Vinnie Lane: "This girl has been a FORCE on Anarchy! Not only that, but she's one of the top running backs in the LFL, leading the Las Vegas Does to the top of their division!"
Bama: "Lady football? That ain't Biblically correct!"
DING! DING! DING!!!
As the bell rings Aphriya Adler immediately gets to work, charging across the ring and pushing Astra back into their starting corner. Before Astra knows what's hitting them, Adler starts laying in with big elbows to the face that put a big crack in Astra's nose, causing a splooge of snotty blood to spray out! The crowd oohs and aahs at the action, but the referee gags as some of it gets on them!
Vinnie Lane: "Adler with the torrid hot start tonight! That win over 2-time Anarchy Champion LSM last week has really put some wind in her sails!"
Bama: "Astra needs to be careful here, baby, because they have a March Madness match this weekend! This could be a dangerous double booking!"
Adler follows up the elbows with a big uppercut that just about slumps Astra, until Adler grabs a hold of them around the waist. Then, Adler hip tosses Astra into the center of the ring! Astra's body bounces up like a rag doll before bouncing off the ropes. The momentum from the ropes forces Astra to come charging back at Adler, who drops them to the mat with a quick dropkick! Astra and Adler both shuffle quickly back to their feet, but it's Astra who's looking much the worse for wear. With a big black eye and a bloody nose, Astra is already feeling the pain.
Vinnie Lane: "Astra needs to turn things around here, and quick!"
Bama: "Easier said than done, Vinnie! Adler is one of the best rising talents we have!"
Adler charges in for Astra once more, trying to grapple in the center of the ring: but Astra slips away from the hold before charging back at the ropes. When Adler turns around to confront them, Astra slides between Adler's legs! Then, Astra pops back up before locking Adler in a headlock! The referee gets in close to check on Adler's status as the submission hold becomes tighter. The referee asks Adler if she wants to give up, and Adler gives a defiant 'NO!'.
Vinnie Lane: "Momentum could be changing here!"
Bama: "Smart move by Astra, going between the legs! I wish I could slide between Adler's legs!"
Vinnie Lane: "Dude, can you at least try to be professional?"
Astra locks the headlock in tighter and tighter as Adler tries to fight it off. Adler starts moving towards the ropes, trying to break the hold, but Astra senses the strategy and puts a stop to it immediately! Astra, keeping the headlock in tight, climbs atop Adler's back and locks her legs around Adler's waist, preventing her from moving entirely! Aphriya's face is starting to turn purple, but even still, she won't give up and let the referee ring the bell!
Bama: "She's starting to look like a smurf!"
Vinnie Lane: "This match just got a lot more competitive!"
Adler, on the verge of passing out, is now wobbling and struggling to stand with Astra's weight on her back....so she decides to stop standing entirely! Adler drops to her back, completely crushing Astra beneath her. Astra cries out in pain as the headlock is broken. Then, Adler slides up off Astra and grabs them by their hair, forcing them back to their feet.
Vinnie Lane: "And Adler breaks the hold!"
Bama: "She took that momentum right back, baby!"
Adler smirks at Astra, knowing exactly what time it is. As Astra struggles to stand, Adler unloads on them with a vicious combination of kicks to the abdomen, followed up by a head cracking step-up enzuigiri! Astra falls like a sack of rocks, and Adler covers her for the pin!
Bama: "HEARTBEAT! This one's over, baby!"
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Aphriya Adler
Vinnie Lane: "Aphriya Adler sending a message to everyone on Anarchy... including me in her promo for some reason!"
Bama: "You're the boss, baby, all complaints go right to the top!"
THE ATOMIC BAT
- vs -
LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA
The Atomic Bat Theme begins as our masked crusader rolls out onto the stage on her Atomic Batcycle! The crowd goes nuts as The Atomic Bat revs the engine at the top of the stage! The Atomic Bat zooms down the ramp and circles the ring before finally parking the bike and climbing into the ring. The Atomic Bat returns the admiration of the crowd as she awaits the start of the match.
As soon as LSM's theme music hits the speakers the lights go dim as the crowd starts cheering for their favorita luchadora. As the bass bumps through the arena the crowd chants along to the slightly modified music. A spectacle of green and red pyrotechnics shoot up twenty five feet in the air from their base on the entrance platform. A complimentary arrangement of pyro shoots up through the four turnbuckles of the ring.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
A green, a red, and a white spotlight shine down from the rafters, randomly perusing through the rambunctious crowd as they await their X-treme Champion. After a few seconds all three of the spotlights are directed towards the entrance tunnel.
Who's this?
Latina Submission Machina pops out onto the illuminated entrance ramp alongside an additional burst of multicolor fireworks. The crowd pops hard for the champion as she holds the belt up high over her head.
MACH-IN-A! MACH-IN-A!
Announcer: Weighing 145 pounds and standing at 5 foot seven inches tall, fighting out of Ciudad Juárez, she is your reigning XWF X-treme Champion....she is LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA!
The luchadora bounces around just outside the tunnel before holding the X-treme championship belt up at eye level and staring into it's center plate with a satisfied smirk. LSM flips her hair to the side before she tosses the belt atop her shoulder. With a big belt on one shoulder and a big chip on the other, LSM starts walking down the ramp amidst thunderous applause. The multicolored spotlights follow LSM every step of the way. The champion briefly pauses to give out a few high fives and to take a few courtesy photos with the front-row fans.
When she finally hits the squared circle Latina Submission Machina slides beneath the bottom rope and into the ring. LSM hands her championship belt over to the referee for safekeeping before she starts pumping up the crowd to cheer louder. Moments later Latina Submission Machina quickly breaks away and starts running the ropes of the ring, testing out the squared circle and getting a feel for it's qualities. Once she's content with it's fitness, the luchadora grabs a hold of the ropes and comes to a controlled halt. She turns to the referee and tells them she's ready to go. The luchadora heads to the corner as instructed and begins reveling in the applause of her fans as she blows many kisses out to the crowd.
DING! DING! DING!!!
The bell rings, and we see the two ladies shake hands and they get to their own corners. Then they do a collar and elbow, where either one was getting ahead of the other. Then LSM overpowers and shoves her to the ground, but Atomic Bat rolls up to her feet and dishes a Knife Edge Chop on LSM, then she does it again but by the third attempt LSM Arm drag Atomic Bat and locks in the Arm.
Then Atomic Bat manages to slide her foot on the bottom rope, as LSM breaks the hold by two count from the Ref. Then she grabs her by the hair and she locks Atomic Bat in a Headlock, then Atomic Bat pushes her to the ropes and Whips her across and she connect with a Spinning Back Elbow on LSM, and she covers her but LSM kicked out and Atomic Bat then gets LSM on her feet and she takes her to the corner.
Then she taunts the crowd as she does her Mounted 10 Punches in LSM..
1…
2…
3…
4…
FIV–NO LSM GRABS HER ARM AND SHE SLAMS HER ON THE MAT
LSM grabs her Arm and Leg and does a modified Mexican Surfboard stretch on Atomic Bat. With the crowd chanting “ATOMIC BAT!” In unison, Bat manages to her her free hand to reach to the bottom rope, and LSM doesn’t let go until the ref counted to four on her.
Vinnie Lane: "Man, LSM is really showing mad aggression over this newcomer."
Bama: "I guess heroes don’t always need to wear capes, case in fact Atomic Bat against this fiery Latina!"
LSM then starts to stomp on her midsection and arms with aggression, then she gets her up on her feet and she does a combo of Body Punches, then follows it up with a Shin Kick to Atomic Bat, then she runs to the ropes and she tries to hit a Shining Wizard, but Atomic Bat ducks and she manages to rolls her up…
1!
TW-LSM KICKOUT!!
LSM then rolls to the outside, and she slams her hand on the apron out of anger, as Atomic Bat starts doing Superhero poses to the crowd. LSM enters the ring and she Punches her in the kidneys, as Atomic Bat kneeled in pain, then LSM locks in a Chinlock on Atomic Bat.
Atomic Bat then breaks the hold by giving her a Jawbreaker, then she follows it up with a Back Elbow on LSM, then she runs to the ropes and she hits a Running High Knee on LSM. Then Atomic Bat goes to the Apron, and hits LSM with a Springboard Double Foot Stomp as she follows through with a roll through back on her feet.
Vinnie Lane: "Man Atomic Bat is really trying to out to Machina here tonight!"
Bama: " Tell me about it, they are putting on something decent for the Canadian crowd here tonight!"
She then taunts the crowd by stomping her feet on the canvas, then she goes to the top rope, and as LSM slowly gets on her feet, she comes near Atomic Bar and she hits a Super Bulldog off the Top Rope and covers LSM for the pin..
1!
2!!
LSM kicks out!!!
But as soon as she does, The Bat grabs LSM's arms and snares her in the BATRAP!!!
The Atomic Bat really cranks back on the hold, and LSM's arm bends back in an unnatural angle. La Machina starts screaming and nodding her head vigorously to the referee, slapping her foot on the mat!
The official calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Winner by Submission - The Atomic Bat
Vinnie Lane: "Wow dude that was rad!"
The Atomic Bat whispers something into LSM's ear. LSM nods, agreeing to, or with whatever was said. The two shake hands, and LSM rolls out of the ring as The Atomic Bat calls for a microphone.
Bama: "Dang, baby, it would seem that The Bat has something to get off of her chest!"
The Atomic Bat is handed a microphone by the ring announcer. The crowd cheer her on in a noticeably higher than average pitch from the youngster fanbase that the costumed avenger attracts!
Atomic Bat: "Tonight, LSM and I gave you a highly competitive and hard hitting contest between two honorable competitors, that ended with both, lessons learned and respect earned. Tonight saw what Anarchy is at its best."
The crowd erupts in a show of support!
Atomic bat: "Last week was a display of this brand at its absolute worst!"
The cheers quickly shift to jeers as the audience picks up on EXACTLY what T.A. Bat is putting down!
Atomic Bat: "Whether we're talking about Sidney Grey using every dirty trick in the book to get one over on Ruby, her vicious attack post bell, or her partner in crime, Gina Van Zyl; The woman who fired the Chairshot heard around the world!"
The crowd erupt into a chorus of boos at the mention of the woman who had ensured their heros story would not end on a happy note!
The Atomic Bat hangs her head in shame.
Atomic Bat: "I may not have been there to stop your dastardly deeds..." Before looking back to the camera with rage burning behind her cowl."But I can darned well avenge her!"
All the kiddies jump to their feet in a roar!
Atomic Bat"Sidney Grey, the world according to you may claim that Gina is no friend to you, and the knot on your dome is plenty evidence to support such claims, but I've already spoken to Mr. Lane, and he too found himself appalled at your shared actions last Anarchy! That's why he's agreed that NEXT ANARCHY, It will be Sidney Grey and Gina Van Zyl teaming up to take on the dynamic duo of The Atomic Bat and a partner of my choosing!"
Suddenly the lights go dark!
Bama: "Damn it, Vinnie! Did you forget to pay the power bill!?"
Vinnie Lane: "That's not how that works..."
And then the X-Tron fires to frickin life!
Vinnie Lane: "What's this?"
A blue smoke fills the entrance. Slowly, a figure emerges from the back and kneels down center stage within a single spotlight.
Vinnie Lane: "Wait a minute. Is that Calypso?"
Bama: "No! No, Vinnie, it's not!"
The figure rises up and charges the ring!
Bama: "It's the Blue Tango!"
Vinnie Lane: "Uh...."
Tango slides under the bottom rope into the ring. He approaches the Atomic Bat and she turns over the microphone.
Blue Tango: "XWF!"
Tango says in a raspy growl to a crowd pop.
Blue Tango: "Evil doers!"
The crowd pops even louder.
Blue Tango: "Crooks, thieves, BASTARDS, and baddies……… The Blue Tango has come to Anarchy, so consider yourselves on notice! The atrocities that took place last week will not be tolerated and to those responsible I have one message…. Justice WILL be served."
The Atomic Bat extends her hand with a cheesy grin.
And Tango accepts the offered hand as a new crime fighting duo is born from Anarchy!
Vinnie Lane: "Well, um, that's a thing... I guess. The... Blue Tango? and The Atomic Bat will be taking on the team of Sidney Grey and Gina Van Zyl NEXT WEEK on Anarchy!"
Bama: "But! But! There's no way in Hell Sidney Grey and Gina Van Zyl will be able to work together!"
Vinnie Lane: "Yeah? Well it sounds like that's THEIR problem to solve!"
Vinnie Lane: "Ch-yeah, dude! Welcome back from that commercial break, yo! We’ve still got plenty of action left tonight, an-"
An unfamiliar tune blares over the AnarchoTron! And who steps out onto the ramp but the richest man on the planet the SECOND-richest man on the planet, Elon Musk!
Bama: Dang baby! What’s Elon Musk doing on Anarchy!
Vinnie Lane: It’s Elon Musk! Owner of the LFL’s 1-6 Elon Muskrats, currently one of the losingest teams in the league… The only teams he’s outdoing thus far are Michael Jordan’s Chicago Fire and Donald Trump’s Miami Storm.”
Bama: Jeez, s’been a rough season for billionaires… Still, you couldn’t tell from the big smile on Elon’s face!
Indeed, Elon looks ecstatic, wielding a microphone as he walks down the ramp… Behind him, a tall figure walks, with a hood over his head.
Vinnie Lane: Elon seems to be guiding a mysterious stranger to the ring!”
Bama: *Guiding* might be a strong word, V-man.
Indeed, the hooded man almost walks off the ramp a few times. He seems to be a little shaky on his legs… Elon perseveres toward the ring, not checking backwards to see if his companion is struggling or not.
Elon jogs up the steps and steps between the ropes. The hooded guy with him walks into the ring with a thud. Then, he mechanically lifts one leg up to the apron and slides in under the bottom rope.
Vinnie Lane: We’ve seen a lot of Elon Musk over in LFL! He’s…uh… passionate! Thought, I’m still not sure if, after managing a team for seven games that he knows what football is…”
Elon holds the microphone up to his face as the hooded man stands behind him.
Elon Musk: XWF Universe!
The crowd woos, just to confirm that they’re here.
Elon Musk: The FUTURE of wrestling has arrived! I made a very generous offer, MONTHS AGO, to buy the XWF from existing management!
Bama: Whoa! That true, Vin?
Vinnie Lane: I mean, he offered full market value for the whole company. Then, when Theo and I said no, he offered $17 for Madness…”
Bama: Which is $6 more than it’s worth!
Vinnie Lane: …I like Madness…”
Elon Musk: My offer was declined! And now, I have no choice… but to take the wrestling industry BY FORCE!
Musk rips the hood off his companion’s head, revealing a bog-standard, blonde, caucasian wrestler.
Vinnie Lane: … I can’t tell if that kid looks really familiar or if he has no recognizable qualities whatsoever.”
Bama: Truth be told, all white people look alike to me, Vin! Including me.
Elon wraps an arm around the kid’s shoulders.
Elon Musk: “This! Is Chad GPT! The next big thing in the wrestling world! And I guarantee, in a few short months… You fans will not be talking about Saga!”
“You will not be talking about CCPE!”
“You will ONLY be talking about the REVOLUTION that is… CHAD GPT!”
…Elon stuffs the microphone in Chad’s face.
Elon Musk: “Go on, tell ‘em, kid!”
Chad curiously stares at the microphone. Elon eventually grabs his talent by the hand and squeezes the microphone into Chad’s palm.
He pats Chad on the back… At odd sequences…
…Is he… typing?
Chad lifts the microphone to his face and speaks…
Asked ChatGPT ‘Write me a babyface wrestling promo’
Chad GPT: “Ladies and gentlemen, it's my great pleasure to introduce myself to you all. I am Chad GPT, and I am here to bring the excitement, the passion, and the energy of professional wrestling to each and every one of you.”
Bama: This kid talks like a damn robot.
Vinnie Lane: It can be tough to sound natural your first time on the mic, Bama! Seems like a nice kid, let’s give him a chance, yo!”
Chad GPT: “As a wrestler, my mission is to inspire and uplift my fans, to show them that anything is possible if you have the heart and the determination to succeed. I believe that wrestling is not just about winning matches, but about pushing yourself to be the very best that you can be, both inside and outside of the ring.”
Bama: What a boy scout… If this kid asks the crowd to give it up for the troops, I think I just won Hack Babyface promo bingo…
Chad GPT: “I've trained tirelessly to perfect my craft, and I'm proud to say that I'm one of the most well-rounded wrestlers in the business. Whether it's grappling, high-flying, or striking, I have the skills and the knowledge to take on any opponent and come out on top.”
Bama: Wow, well-rounded. That’ll put asses in seats…”
Vinnie Lane: Dang, Bama. Did this kid spit in your Froot Loops this morning? He’s doing fine!”
Chad GPT: “But more than anything else, I want to connect with my fans. I want to inspire them, to make them feel like anything is possible if they put their minds to it. Because that's what wrestling is all about - not just putting on a good show, but making a difference in people's lives.
Vinnie Lane: Aw, this kid’s got a good heart!”
Bama: If this goes on any longer, I’m gonna lose my lunch…”
Chad GPT: So join me on this journey, as we take on the best wrestlers in the world and show them what we're made of. Together, we can create a world of wrestling that is filled with passion, energy, and excitement. And I promise you, it's going to be one heck of a ride!”
Chad’s hand comes to rest at his side. Elon goes to take it from him, and signals to the back that they’re done. The music blares as Elon lifts Chad’s arm in the air.
Vinnie Lane: A chance to meet Chad GPT! First impressions for me, he seems polite and humble! I think he’ll make a great addition to the locker room… Though I hope Elon Musk doesn’t have too much influence on him… What do you think, Bama?”
Bama: ‘Polite’ and ‘humble’ might win ya a blue ribbon at the etiquette ball… But this is professional wrestling, V-Man. I’ll take a bastard with a mean streak a mile long over this milquetoast little shrimp any day o’ the week and twice on Sunday!”
Vinnie Lane: … Well, a mixed reception for his debut! But, expect to see more of Chad GPT on Anarchy!”
MOLLY BARNES
- vs -
MASTERMIND
Vinnie Lane: Bama - are you ready for a debut? It's gonna be a whole lotta fun... INNIT?
Bama: My friend I do not know what you are getting at, but you know I love me a fight... so let's go!
Molly Barnes gets a decent pop when her music hits - apparently there are quite a few Madness fans in the house!
Molly pops out and points at the ring and at the brand new #MOLLARCHY tee shirt she wears, then runs down to the squared circle and dives under the bottom rope, sliding on her front all the way to the middle where she spins a little and gets to her feet before smiling and holding her hands high in the air.
Vinnie Lane: Nice to see Kris Von Bonn and Melanie CRAAAYyyYzzEE Childs support their leader, Bama. It seems like they don't hang out all that much.
Bama: Mastermind is a social butterfly, baby! Just look at him!
A figure is seen walking out from the back wearing a black hooded sweatshirt on. The hood was over his head so he couldn't be seen, and his head was looking down.
He stood in a stance. And as a white light appeared on his front, he unzipped his sweatshirt and showed the front of the t-shirt:
As it continued he turned around and took off his hooded sweatshirt and revealed the back of the t-shirt which read:
He turned back around and stood in a pose as the white light bathed on him to reveal: MASTERMIND
He then smirks as he walks all the way to the ring, with the Misfits Manager Antony The Jerk, walking not far behind. Followed by Melanie 'Crayzee' Childs and Kris 'The Hammer' Von Bonn.
Vinnie Lane: Nice to see Kris Von Bonn and Melanie CRAAAYyyYzzEE Childs support their leader, Bama. It seems like they don't hang out all that much.
Bama: Mastermind is a social butterfly, baby! Just look at him!
The camera pans to Mastermind who is focused on the match, blatantly ignoring Mel's nonsense and Von Bonn's tactics.
Vinnie Lane: What a socialite, dude! Molly Barnes seems pretty popular here too! Jumping over from the green to the blue.
Bama: Green to blue... Sounds like when I got Cov-
Vinnie Lane: Dude! Don't mention it on air! We can get demonetized when some guy steals the show and uploads them on YouTube!
DING! DING! DING!!!
And we're off! Mastermind and Molly circle one another and catching each other's hands in a test of strength which Mastermind quickly gets the upper hand in; Mastermind drops Barnes to a knee and twists her wrists into an armlock.
Vinnie Lane: The Arm Sleeper! Classic, MM!
Mastermind locks Barnes's arm behind her back and wrenches it pushing her into the ropes before swinging her around and whipping her into the opposite ropes, Molly goes for a lariat but Mastermind counters with a hip toss!
Vinnie Lane: Dude! The Hip Controller! Funnily enough, that was my nickname in high school.
Bama: ... I thought your nickname was Vaseline Vin? Due to your constantly chapped lips.
Lane ignores this with a single tear as Mastermind drops a knee on Molly's back, digging his knee into her spine before grabbing her under the chin and pulling back and Barnes winces in pain.
Bama: Oh my God, Vinnie! It's the Crowd Sleeper! Seriously, Mastermind needs to update his stuff.
Vinnie Lane: What? Nah, dude, Mastermind is like the WNBA! No need for flashy stuff, all fundamentals homie!
Molly tries to fight out of the hold and manages to slip loose but Mastermind catches her and gets her into a tight headlock dragging her back up to her feet and trying to lock in the MIND SLEEPER! But Molly drops suddenly and stuns Mastermind. Mastermind grits his teeth, and takes Molly back down pushing with his feet harder and harder to try and take Barnes down. He tries to sprawl, but there's no stopping Mastermind as he TAKES HIM DOWN and transitions into side control! A victorious smile on his face, referee Chaz Bobo gets down on their knees to check if there's a cover, only for Barnes to notice and quickly raise his shoulder to prevent a count. Mastermind tries to transition over into mount, but Barnes quickly bridges and squirms, trying to prevent Mastermind from being able to raise his legs high enough.
Mastermind then responds by thrusting his knee, barreling into his side with a harsh knee and causing her to have to suck in air through his teeth. Molly still bears it though, managing to take Mastermind's momentum and ROLL HIM OVER, now with Barnes putting Molly in his own side control!
Bama: Bet you wish you used that octagon for his fight, Vin!
Vinnie's silence says it all. Barnes tries to go into mount, but Mastermind bridges and quickly peppers her with a few jabs to the face. The two sides are persisting, each one trying to muscle their way to their desired position. However, Mastermind manages to take control, shrimping out and instead managing to get his legs around Molly in order to pull him into guard! Fists start to come raining down from Mastermind. Molly is moving her face as well as she can, but a few manage to catch her on the nose. But judging that she can get more success another way as Mastermind starts to cover up on his face, Molly switches strategies and starts throwing hammer fists down on his abdomen!
Mastermind starts to wheeze and cough up air, and it's clear the shots are doing damage. His legs are starting to weaken in strength, and it won't be too long before Barnes can muscle her way out of guard. Mastermind knows he needs to do something fast as Barnes raises her hand one last time...
Vinnie Lane: Mastermind catches her hand!
And goes for a headbutt!
Molly is stunned and shakes the cobwebs before her demeanour changes and she delivers a headbutt of her own!
Mastermind drops down and loosens his grip and Molly wraps her arms around Mastermind's waist and forces him up before releasing him with a belly-to-belly! Mastermind tries to stand up but stumbles drunkenly and Barnes comes back with a Northern Lights with a bridge!
The ref slides in!
1!
2!!
THRE-NO!
Kickout from Mastermind before the three!
Molly transitions out of the pin and and gets a headlock on Mastermind on the ground, picking him up again and lifts him to his feet dropping him with not one, not two BUT THREE suplexes! With beautiful precision and agility!
Bama: Hot dog! Three Mates from Molly Barnes!
Vinnie Lane: Fun fact! Mates is British for Amigos!
Bama: The more you know!
Molly seems a little gassed and goes for another pin by throwing her arm over Mastermind and the ref goes for another count but Melanie Childs jumps onto the apron and Molly looks to her along with the ref, Childs screams some wild shit as Barnes gets up and kicks off at Melanie for being a menace while the ref threatens to throw Childs out. Meanwhile, Kris Von Bonn sneakily removes the padding from the turnbuckle as Mastermind begins to get up with a raised eyebrow.
Vinnie Lane: Mixed emotions from the often stoic Mastermind here.
And Mastermind quickly turns his attention to a distracted Molly and rolls her up into a pin!
Molly flails wildly as the ref counts the pin!
1!
2!!
THRE-NO!
KICKOUT AT 2.9!
Both competitors get to their feet at the same time, Mastermind gets in a forearm and stumbles Barnes!
A kick to the gut!
Mastermind grabs Molly's collar and belt and begins to charge her into the corner, aiming her head against the exposed turnbuckle!
BUT MOLLY SPINS OUT OF THE HOLD!
SHE THROWS MASTERMIND INTO THE CORNER WITH AN IRISH WHIP!
MASTERMIND'S FACE CONNECTS WITH THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE!!!
And Molly Barnes trips a falling Mastermind into a schoolboy!
1!
2!!
3!!!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Molly Barnes
The ref calls for the bell and Molly looks dumbfounded that she won with an Irish Whip and a Schoolboy! It takes a moment for the roaring crowd and ref raising her arm to hit her as she lights up and celebrates, meanwhile Kris and Melanie are looking onward feeling kinda guilty their plan didn't work out.
Vinnie Lane: Good on Molly! Well done love!
Vinnie's terrible British accent causes hundreds of viewers to turn off Anarchy.
Bama: Mastermind's lackeys missed their mark and got Molly the surprise win! And a win is indeed a win.
Sidney Grey walked into Vinnie Lane’s office, which was actually just the arena’s storage room, filled with equipment boxes and spare ring equipment; yet, curiously, there was an expensive desk made of the finest mahogany wedged in the middle of the mess. The reality star wore a walking boot on her right foot and was aided by her Executive Assistant, Dani Chow, as she carefully navigated the chaos. The number 1 contender for the Anarchy Title plopped down and breathed a heavy sign.
Sidney Grey: Vincent! Have you removed the ridiculous stipulation from my title match? There’s no way that I should have to wrestle barefoot on an electrified mat!
Vinnie Lane: Dude! I already told you; the match isn’t changing! You’re gonna wrestle barefoot or you’re going to forfeit the title opportunity!
Sid folded her arms and breathed out in exasperation.
Sidney Grey: Then you leave me no choice! Dani, show him my insurance from Lloyds of London! My feet are insured for quite the hefty sum, and should something happen to them…The XWF would be liable for millions! I’d end up owning this damn place!
Dani reached into her suit jacket and pulled out the insurance plan, handing it over to Vinnie with a smug look on her face, matching that of her employer. Vinnie reluctantly took the documents, giving them a cursory glance as he shook his head.
Vinnie Lane: Sid, I have to admit, reading legal documents isn’t my thing. That being said, I have an expert on these types of contracts on standby, for just such an occasion!
Sid and Dani looked at each other, confusion passing between them. Vinnie gestured and Bobbi London walked in, her girth making the cramped space exponentially smaller. Vinnie handed the contract over to the Aussie.
Vinnie Lane: Sid, I think you've met Bobbi London... ESQUIRE... before? Bobbi, would you mind, Dude?
Bobbi London: Course, mate!
Bobbi began scrutinizing the pages, going over each and every one as she muttered to herself, even taking time to make complex calculations and count out random equations on her fingers. Finally, she finished and handed the documents back over to Vinnie.
Bobbi London: It’s rubbish!
Sidney Grey: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THAT’S A LLOYDS OF LONDON INSURANCE POLICY!
Bobbi folded her thick arms across her rotund frame.
Bobbi London: Yah, and I’s tellin yous, that contract is bloody rubbish! It’s from me cousins, both named Lloyd! Theys notorious scammers, they are!
Sid was flabbergasted, as she reached over and snatched the policy out of Vinnie’s hands.
Sidney Grey: Dani and I got this goddamn policy last week!
Bobbi London: Yah, in downtown LA.
Sidney Grey: Yeah, SO?!
Bobbi London: The real Lloyd’s of London…is in London, England! It’s the apostrophe! I’s think that’s how me cousins keep gettin away with this.
Sid and Dani stared at one another, both at a loss for words. It was Vinnie that finally broke the silence.
Vinnie Lane: Good luck out there tonight, Dude!
Sid let out a scream of anger as she got to her feet, limping out of Vinnie’s makeshift area, with Dani following close behind. Vinnie held out his fist and Bobbi gave him a fist bump.
TOMMY WISH
- vs -
SIDNEY GREY Barefoot Match!
Neither competitor will be permitted to wear anything on their feet... and the ring itself will be ELECTRIFIED and send jolts of wattage through the canvas at random!
We see the announce booth being fitted with little control dials, much to the confusion of Bama T.
Bama: What in tarnation is this? We gonna play Atari at the desk? Is this TikTok?!
Vinnie Lane: No, dude! These are the electricity controls for the main event! You and me are gonna be in charge of when the zaps come, and how strong they are!
Bama: Smart move letting me cancel you out… I know you’re biased!
Vinnie Lane: Oh yeah? Biased for who?
Bama: I ain’t figured that out yet but I’m gonna!
“Suffocate” by Cold begins to play as the lights dim all through the arena. Fog rolls through the entranceway as a bright light shines from behind it. A shadowy figure is projected through the fog, the sexy figure grinding to the beat of the music. Sidney Grey emerges and surveys the crowd as they boo her loudly. She smirks as she flips off the crowd and moves in time to the beat, going into yet another seductive grind, which ends in a tremendous eruption of pyrotechnics as she runs her hands all along her body, tosses her hair back, and heads to the ring with a laugh. Sid walks slowly down to the ring as she arrogantly taunts the crowd, blowing kisses to some and threatening to slap others all the while with a condescending smile on her face. Sid slides underneath the bottom rope and goes to the far corner of the ring as she stands on the turnbuckle and continues to taunt the crowd, while smiling sadistically as she waits for the match to begin.
The ref instructs Sid to remove her shoes and she begrudgingly starts to do so.
Vinnie Lane: Socks too Sid! I see what you’re trying to do!
Bama: She spent two hundred bucks on a pedicure this morning, Vinnie, have some ssympath!
It shows Tommy in the shadows in a corridor somewhere on the AnarchoTron in a hoodie, then it fades back into the arena where the lights flicker and the camera sees him coming down to the ring in his jacket hoodie, with him waving a Kendo Stick around him. The Anarchy Title is hanging from the back of his pants. Then he nods his head to the beat, and he gives some fans some dap as he walks down to the ramp, then he slides into the ring, gets on the turnbuckle, and poses to the crowd with the stick in the air. Then he comes down from there, and stands on the corner leaning on the corner as his theme fades off.
Tommy did NOT have to be told about the stip. He is barefoot already, and stared at Grey’s feet the entire walk up the ramp.
Vinnie Lane: Creepy, Tom. Super creepy.
Bama: The man is a connoisseur. Do you think Gordon Ramsey is creepy for looking at a perfectly cooked Beef Wellington?!
DING! DING! DING!!!
The match starts, and champion and challenger lock up. Wish immediately puts his bare foot on top of Sid’s, and wrinkles his toes in and out on top of hers.
Grey breaks the lock up and leaps backward, grossed out - and Tommy smashes her to the mat with a clothesline!
Tommy misses with an elbow drop and Sidney grabs Tommy in a suplex…
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Bama T. cranks his dial up to halfway and smashes the button, and Sidney starts shaking, then collapses and drops Tommy as Bama lets go.
Bama: Welp… it works!
Tommy grabs Sidney and rolls her into a cloverleaf… and he starts sniffing at her soles while twisting her backwards!
Sid is in agony, and then they both stiffen in electric shock as Vinnie turns his dial up to three and pushes the button.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
They seize up and then fall over to the side with the hold broken.
Vinnie Lane: Oh man! That was FUN!
Bama: Not gonna lie, I’m kinda glad you did that.
Tommy snags Sidney, looking for the HIDEYAFACE DDT, but Sid swings him around into a backslide and has his shoulders on the mat!
1!
2!!
BUZZZZZZZ!!!
Bama hits his button again and the shock hits Sidney’s toes, sending her into a spasm and breaking up the pinning combination. She hops onto the ropes as soon as the electricity subsides.
Bama: Ha! Did you see her flip, Vin? Like a fish in a pan.
Vinnie Lane: Try to keep it fair, Bama! You’re only going after Sidney!
Bama: Nuh uh. Watch this!
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Bama slams his palm down onto the button after spinning the dial almost all the way up. Tommy had just gotten to his feet, and he immediately starts flailing around like one of those inflatable tube men at a used car lot.
Sid laughs and claps from the turnbuckle laughing as Tommy collapses. She then leaps off the top and hits a double stomp right to Wish’s face!
Vinnie Lane: Pretty sure Tommy liked that… he’s gonna ask for this footage later.
Bama: Stop kink shaming!
Sid Grey pulls Tommy Wish up and sends him into the ropes. On the rebound, Sid hit him with the REALITY CHECK elbow right to the jaw, and Wish goes down hard!
Grey hits the ropes, and she lines up Tommy as she pops into the air, driving her knee brace straight down for the SID-KNEE DROP! But Tommy rolls away!
Sid hits the mat hard and yelps in pain as she grabs at her knee… and Tommy swoops in!
Tommy grapevines his legs around Sid’s and locks on an ankle lock with an added twist… he entwines his fingers with Sid’s toes and locks up with her foot, adding more torque to the ankle lock! The Fetish Lock taken to the X-Treme!
Sid wails but she seems to get angry after not being able to free herself for a few moments, and she manages to start mule kicking backward, smashing Wish right in the mouth with her bare foot! Tommy smiles, but then one of the kicks catches him right on the bridge of the nose and he falls backward, releasing the hold.
Bama: This match is gonna catch an NC-17 rating. We are totally getting canceled on Twitter again.
Vinnie Lane: Dude, I should have went with my gut and not picked THIS match with THIS champion…
Bama: Well at least this way there’s one person who’s enjoying it.
Both competitors slowly get back to their vertical base, with Tommy beating Sidney to the punch. The crowd starts a loud “Tommy! Tommy!” chant as he gets to his feet and stumbles back into the ropes. He walks towards Sidney and grabs her by head to try and pull her to her feet, but Sidney delivers a devastating low blow uppercut. Tommy yells in pain as he falls back to his knees and the crowd instantly boos.
Vinnie Lane: What a cheap shot!
Bama: It’s a title match, baby! No disqualifications! You do what you have to!
Vinnie Lane: Well it might be legal but it sure as heck isn’t ethical!
Sidney gets back to her feet and grabs Tommy by the hair, pulling him towards the ring ropes. She tosses Tommy’s torso in between the middle and bottom ropes, then ties the ring ropes together, making it so Tommy’s head and arms are trapped between the two ropes. Sidney then rolls out of the ring as Tommy kicks, trying to get out of the ropes. As he does, however, another shock of electricity comes from the ring, and shocks the champion. Sidney, meanwhile, smiles on the outside and shrugs her shoulders.
BUZZZZZZZ!!!
Bama: This is genius! She’s going to let the ring do all the work for her! Well. the ring and yours truly!
Vinnie Lane: It’s disgusting, is what it is! Lay off the button already!
The crowd continues to heavily boo as Sidney slowly walks around the ring before finding a spot on the barricade and sitting down on it. Another shock of electricity jolts through Tommy as Sidney simulates drinking a cup of tea. Suddenly, Sidney is nailed from behind with a chair from the crowd! She falls forward, and over the top of the barricade jumps a man in a black jumpsuit and balaclava!
Bama: What the...that has to be who attacked Gina earlier! Arrest that man!
The mysterious figure delivers some stomps into Sidney’s back before picking her up and tossing her into the barricade. Sidney grabs the back of her head, but before she has the opportunity to respond at all, the man runs and delivers a knee directly into the side of her skull, knocking her out. Security begins to run from the back, but the mysterious figure grabs Sidney and tosses her back into the ring before climbing in himself. The referees and crew members begin to yell “Shut it down! Shut it down!” at the technical staff as the man picks Sidney up and places her over his shoulders.
Bama: GET IN THE RING ALREADY!
Vinnie Lane: These staffers don’t want to be electrocuted, so they need to shut the power to the ring down first.
Bama: Well then shoot him! I don’t care, just help her!
The hum of the ring stops as the power is turned off, but before security can get into the ring, the man drops Sidney Grey with a death valley driver. The referees and security guards all get onto the apron and yell at the man in the ring, who looks around at them and the crowd, before looking back down at an unconscious Sidney Grey. He raises his hand to the top of his head in order to pull off his mask...
Vinnie Lane: IT’S CENTURION!
The crowd erupts for the XWF legend.
Bama: What is he doing here?! He quit!
Vinnie Lane: Centurion hasn’t been seen in months as he was recovering from some nagging injuries, but I guess Sidney and Gina’s attack on Ruby two weeks ago brought him back!
The crowd begins a loud “Centurion! Centurion!” chant as the security guards continue to gesture towards him to get him out of the ring. Referees lift the ring ropes, allowing Tommy Wish to be let free from the situation he was in. Centurion quietly puts his hands up and steps between the ropes as security escorts him to the back.
Tommy grabs Sidney, and this time he nails the HIDEYAFACE!
But he’s just too worn down to go for the cover!
Tommy lays on his back breathing deep as Sid is just motionless on her face next to him. Finally, he rolls Sid over slowly and drapes an arm over her chest for a cover!
1!
2!!
Shoulder up from Sidney!
Sid drags herself to her hands and knees and starts crawling, and Tommy goes to a corner and gets into position to deliver his trademark UnActive Spear. He’s practically BEGGING for Grey to get up and turn around…
But when she does, Tommy flies across the ring for the UAS and Sidney somersaults over him!
Sid rolls Tommy into a pinning combo, and just as Vinnie hits his button, Sid puts her feet on the ropes for extra leverage - and completely avoids the electrical charge!
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
1!
2!!
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! Sid just won the Anarchy Championship!”!
Bama: “Centurion can’t believe it! He was watching from the top of the ramp and just stormed off behind the curtain! WOW!”
Winner by Pinfall and NEW Anarchy Champion - Sidney Grey
After the match, Tommy grabs the Anarchy Title from the referee, then signals for a microphone. The arena goes silent as he speaks, with Sidney watching him with wary eyes.
T: *heavy breathing* I know… I know you didn’t want to have this match with me… I know that you wanted the stip to be changed but it couldn't happen at all… I know your feet are insured by Lloyds of London on some Rick Rude shit…
Sidney looks the sweat drenched man up and down, a look of disgust on her face. Then he comes up to her slowly as he continues to speak.
T: Fuck… those shocks got my feet in a daze… maybe I should have gotten them insured as well… but on the real Sidney, I want you to know that you got the best of me. I could have just let you have the title, and said fuck this shit you have it… but nah, I wanted you to work hard for it dammit. Even if I wanted to break my urges to get on my knees and suck your fucking toes with high voltages… I would have taken that L to the grave but resisted…
Tommy holds out the microphone to Sidney.
Sidney Grey: You really think that…
He pulled the microphone back, cutting her off.
T: Exactly… it’s not me just kissing your ass… it’s being a respectful man to his own competitor and as a sign of that, I want the world to know this.
Tommy takes the Anarchy title, and hands it to her and he raises It her arm up. The confused crowd doesn’t know whether to boo or cheer, and Sidney appears to be just as confused. Suddenly, he pulls her to his side, and he plants a kiss on her that sends her into a fit. She drops the title as she struggles against him for a moment, then stops.
Vinnie Lane: Oh my God Dude! I bet his breath tastes like feet!
Finally, Sidney pushes away, nearly falling to the mat. Tommy rolls out of the ring, grabbing the belt and taking it with him. Dani Chow, Sidney’s Executive Assistant, rushes into the ring to check in on her, as Tommy walks up towards the ramp, looking back at the two of them.
Sidney wipes at her mouth, her face flushed. Tommy smiles at her with cockiness as he tells her to suck it, as we close off the broadcast of Anarchy.
SPECIAL THANKS:
Sidney Grey
Centurion
Tommy Wish
Gator
Charlie Nickles
Raion Kido
Mark Flynn
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