I Cried Today - by Lea Jones

The early morning hours, and quietness of night’s moon
So much despair surrounding me, swallowing, shrinking me into a prune;
The walls of doubt surmounting, gripping the edges of my mind
Sight obscured by thoughts of dismay,
In the moment of weakness, I cried today!

No one who professed to know me well, even detected the troublesome ache,
The inward part of my heart tried to dissipate
Into a meaningless abyss, and criticizing
I moaned with regret, then in despair, recognizing,
So I cried today!

Before I destructed, The Source is there, knowing the steps necessary
He establishes the road I should take, and the plan that is destined just for me;
His delights are excellent, how magnificent His liberty
The joy of the Lord, my strength and glee
He observes my every expression, attentive to my plea!

Lifting me above my negating, His presence captivating my soul
His Spirit supernaturally mesmerizes the me no other can control
He showers me with His Love, uncompromisingly indescribable,
My petition was heard in the midst of woe,
A glimpse of the new thing is not distasteful,
The will of His Promise cries out -
“TODAY” - and I am made whole!




<><><><><><><><><><>




I know what you’re all used to and I know what you are expecting - a clip of me angry and bloody after losing my Anarchy Title match in the Elimination Chamber two weeks ago, signs of frustration from recent losses that I have endured, maybe me and Lexi flying first class to our next fighting destination… but not here, not now. No dramatic settings, no fancy lighting, no bright colors to differentiate between me and my friends - it’s just us, Elijah Martin talking directly to you through the video scope.


I have been grinding against some of the best in the world for almost a full year now, experiencing both the highs and the lows that come with running in this circuit. I’ve been a champion, I’ve had my back used to draw a dick on a contract… I’ve been built up and I’ve been broken down. But today, right here and right now in this very moment… not only am I a broken wrestler, but I am a broken man.


During the holiday weekend, I got a rare phone call from my estranged sister, who I’m typically lucky to hear from on a holiday or even to wish me a Happy Birthday. Between the fact that she was calling me AND it was like 8 am back home in New York, it was doubly alarming to me. On Friday night, my niece who had just graduated from high school the week before, was the front seat passenger in a car with 2 of her friends. As they were driving down a road with essentially no shoulder on it unless you wanna swerve into the woods, a drunk driver was coming the opposite direction and swerved onto their side.


There was no time to move, so it was a head on collision, with most of the impact on the passenger side. My niece spent a few days in the hospital, eventually being sent home with 3 broken bones in her neck and wearing a brace to immobilize her neck. She gets a check up in two weeks time to see if the bones are healing - if they are, she stays in the brace for another 2 months. If they’re not healing, then it’s surgery time.


I have an even combination of anger and sadness coursing through my veins - the drunk driver that was arrested had a revoked driver’s license, no registration on the vehicle and a fake New York State inspection sticker on the windshield. The person doesn’t deserve the recognition of having their name said beyond the press release put out by the County Sheriffs, so I will refrain from doing so, but my head is in a foggy state right now as to what I should do in order to address the combined anger and sadness I have within me.


I had a number of discussions with several people, most importantly my girlfriend Lexi Gold, Chronic Chris Page, Anarchy GM Vinnie Lane… and yes, even Theo Pryce. I have made a decision for the best interests of myself and the company, knowing full well that my head is just not focused the way it should be in order to give my best for my opponents and the smattering of fans I have.


Therefore, with the blessings of XWF Management, I have decided to not take any bookings for the immediate future. I will fulfill my matches for both the Cannabis Cup and War Games, but those are the only events on my calendar moving forward at this time. All parties involved have left the door open to revisit my potential scheduled bookings as early as August 1, but for now, this is a case of personal life and mental struggles forcing me to say “see you soon.” Thank you and God Bless CCP Enterprises!