LIVE!!!

FROM KELLOGG'S CEREAL CITY IN BATTLE CREEK, MICHIGAN! RE-OPENED FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Calvary - vs - Tommy Wish Referee: Mr. Referee

---

Lord Raab - vs - "La Reina" Daniela Raye-Weathers Referee: Mika Hunt

---

Barney Green - vs - Jason Cashe Brick Yard Brawl! Not ALL of Creal City is fully renovated... this match takes place not in a ring but in a partially constructed building area, surrounded by bricks and masonry! Referee: Lawanda Sass

---

CENTRUBION (Centurion & Ruby) - vs - The Moral Army of Godly Americans (Boots Lichter and O-Bay T-Law) Tornado Tag Team Rules! 1 RP Per Team! Referee: Chaz Bobo

---

Elijah Martin - vs - Big Money Oswald Ladder Match! The Anarchy Championship will be hung from the rafters and the winner will have to use one of the MANY ladders provided to reach up and get it! Referee: Ari Silverstein

CEREAL CITY IS BLOWN TO BITS BY THE PYRO!!!!!!!


Okay not entirely but man there is some real damage done... The K in Kellogg's is GONE!


Camera drones circle the sky and find fans holding signs aloft as they cheer wildly in the crisp Michigan air.

RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBAYYYYY!!!


BARNEY GREEN IS A FREAKIN' GOD!


ELIJAH MARTIN DUMP LEXI AND MARRY ME!


CASHE POOPS IN THE POOL

Finally, the drones settle on the ringside announce booth occupied as always by none other than XWF owner "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane and his partner in crime, Bama T.! Tonight, Bama's chihuahua Sassafras is wearing a Michigan Wolverines dog sweater. AW!


Vinnie Lane: "FOLKS! Thank you so much for braving the cold on a February night in Battle Creek! I'm here with my good buddy Bama and we are ready to get ROCKIN' on some Thursday Night Anarchy! How do you feel about that ladder match main event, Bammer?"


Bama: "Oh man oh man oh MAN I can't wait for that one, V-Man! I'm also just bitin' at the bit for that brick yard match with Cashe against the Daddy of Violence Barney Green! That's gonna be one to remember!"


Vinnie Lane: "We've got a debut of a new talent here against that DASTARDLY Lord Raab, as well as tag team action with Centurion and Ruby taking on the MAGA Boys! And later on... a HUGE announcement! But first... Tommy Wish takes on a RETURNING Calvary! Let's get right to the ring!"


Cameras zoom in on the ring...

Calvary - vs - Tommy Wish Referee: Mr. Referee

The lights start flickering in the arena, and we see smoke blowing out from the stage, and we see Tommy coming out in a light jacket with the hoodie on his head. He then comes out, and he does some shadow boxing on the stage. Then he walks down to the ramp, and he looks at the fans and gives them all a fist bump as he's walking down. Then he slides into the ring, and stands in the middle of the ring poses to the crowd as his theme fades off.


Vinnie Lane: "Tommy Wish is one of the most prolific stars on Anarchy, I can put him up against anyone and he’s always ready to go! The opening match tonight should be a great one!"


Bama: "You ain’t wrong, baby! T-Wish comes to play every Anarchy!"

As the music kicks up, The Calvary can be spotted in the corner of the arena with his chest puffed out. He flies down to the ring before slowly descending onto a turnbuckle where he gives out a mighty bellow. He pounds his chest before stepping down into the ring and cracking his knuckles.


Vinnie Lane: "The Calvary has been on quite a roll ever since he returned to the XWF, but tonight might be his biggest challenge yet!"



Bama: "Calvary? Don’t you mean Cavalry?!!"


Vinnie Lane: "No, I don’t!"

Ding! Ding! Ding!!!

Mr. Referee stands in the center of the ring as Calvary and Tommy slowly start circling each other around the ring. Calvary stands a good half feet taller than Tommy, but that doesn’t stop Wish from making the first move! Tommy charges towards Calvary and tries to throw him across the ring with a japanese arm drag….but Calvary simply flies over to the turnbuckle as soon as Tommy Wish gets him vertical!

Bama: "Flying should be illegal in a standard match! That’s an unfair advantage if I’ve ever seen one!"


Vinnie Lane: "You’re just mad because you can’t fly, dude!"


Calvary looks down at Tommy Wish from atop the turnbuckle with a stoic stare as he places his hands on his waist. Tommy looks downright pissed off as he charges at the turnbuckle and attempts to dislodge Calvary from the top rope- but as soon as Tommy gets near the corner Calvary simply flies back to the center of the ring! Calvary lets out a soft chortle as Tommy rams himself into an empty turnbuckle!

Tommy turns around in the corner only to see the Calvary coming straight back at him! CALVARY SPEARS TOMMY WISH AGAINST THE TURNBUCKLE! As soon as Calvary pulls back after the spear Tommy Wish collapses to the mat, clearly hurt from the vicious spear.

Bama: "Tommy Wish needs to find some kryptonite, and soon!"


Vinnie Lane: "I don’t know if The Calvary even has a kryptonite!"


As Tommy Wish lay on the ground in pain Calvary climbs back up the turnbuckle. Tommy Wish rolls around on the ground until he winds up in the center of the ring. Then, Calvary jumps off the top rope and executes a splash from the top rope! Calvary hooks the leg and Mr. Referee begins to count.



1!















2!!
















KICK OUT!


Tommy Wish throws a shoulder up just in time to break the count. Calvary, undeterred by the kickout, picks Tommy Wish up to a standing position. Then, Calvary brings Tommy Wish back down with a snap german suplex! Tommy looks to be out of it now!




1!























2!!
















ANOTHER KICKOUT!



Vinnie Lane: "Tommy Wish still has plenty of fight left in him!"


Bama: "But he needs to start beating some of the fight out of his opponent!"


Calvary gets off of Tommy Wish after the nearfall. Calvary delivers a few nasty stomps to Tommy’s back before walking away from him and basking in the overwhelming applause of the audience. Calvary does a few flexes and emotive gestures to show his appreciation for all of the XWF fans in attendance.

Tommy Wish begins to stir as Calvary continues to bask in the adoration of the crowd. Calvary notices the movement and begins to walk back Tommy’s way. As Calvary nears his downed foe, however, he’s taken by surprise! Tommy Wish jumps up out of nowhere and catches Calvary completely off guard with a well-timed uppercut! The force of the sends Calvary flying back against the ropes. The ropes then propel Calvary straight back to the waiting Tommy Wish. When Calvary nears Tommy he’s taken to the ground with a perfectly executed japanese arm drag!


Vinnie Lane: "This could be the change of pace that Tommy Wish needs to get back into this match!"


Bama: "He played possum like a PRO right there! Now he needs to capitalize on this advantage!"

Tommy Wish quickly rolls on top of Calvary and begins going to town on his downed opponent. A flurry of hammer fists come raining down upon Calvary’s face as he tries mostly unsuccessfully to defend himself. Mr. Referee cringes from off to the side as he watches Tommy continually unload lefts and rights onto Calvary’s head.

Eventually Tommy decides Calvary has had enough and slides off of his superpowered foe. Tommy Wish flips Calvary over and chooses to lock in a boston crab! Tommy grabs hold of Calvary’s legs and begins to pull them backwards! Calvary hollers out in pain but refuses to submit!

Vinnie Lane: "The Calvary doesn’t like to submit, but if he can’t break this hold soon then he may have no choice!"

Bama: "Tommy Wish has it locked in, there’s no way Calvary can break that hold!”


Tommy continues to pull back on Calvary’s legs as the hero cries out in pain. Calvary starts using his forearms to slowly crawl forward towards the ropes. Tommy Wish realizes what is happening and tries to dig his heels in to stop the forward progress, but Calvary is simply too strong! It doesn’t take long for Calvary to crawl all the way over to the ropes, forcing Mr. Referee to call a break of the hold!


Vinnie Lane: "The Calvary could not break the hold: so he got the referee to do it! That’s a veteran move!"


Bama: "How is flying allowed but boston crabs aren’t?!?!"


Vinnie Lane: "It’s not about the legality of the hold, dude! Calvary got a rope break!"


Tommy Wish keeps the boston crab locked in for way too long before reluctantly getting off of Calvary. Calvary starts rubbing his legs before he pulls himself back up to a standing position with the assistance of the ring ropes. But just as Calvary gets himself up to his feet, Tommy Wish starts charging at him! Tommy clotheslines Calvary and both men go flying over the top rope! They land roughly on the floor outside of the ring much to the excitement of the audience.

Tommy Wish is the first to his feet and he takes complete advantage of that fact. While Calvary is on his hands and knees outside of the ring Tommy Wish starts sprinting towards him before punting him in the face! Calvary’s nose goes bloody from the blow! Tommy picks up Calvary and flings him into the ringside barrier while Mr. Referee begins counting the two men out!

1!


2!


3!


While Calvary is leaned up against the ringside barrier Tommy Wish can’t help but get in a few more blows. Tommy lands a jab, hook, cross combination that crumples Calvary much to the bemusement of the THUG! But before Calvary can fall to the ground Tommy Wish grabs him by the head….and DDTs him to the floor!


4!


5!


Tommy Wish hurries to his feet and looks down at his bleeding opponent. Tommy cracks a cool smile before quickly sliding back into the ring.


6!


Calvary begins to stir. A look of worry flashes across his face as he hears the referee counting.


7!


Calvary pushes himself back up to his hands and knees while the front-row fans scream at him to get back in the ring.


8!


Calvary pushes himself up to one knee before looking around in a daze of disorientation.


9!


Tommy Wish is smiling with confidence in the ring….until he sees Calvary fly up into the air!

10- NO! Calvary makes it back to the ring just in time, much to the surprise of both Mr. Referee and Tommy Wish!

Bama: "He’s using flying to cheat again!"


Vinnie Lane: "It’s not cheating to fly back into the ring! In fact, he used flying to better follow the rules in this instance!”


The bloodied Calvary stares down a now worried-looking Tommy Wish. Before Tommy has any time to react Calvary reaches out and grabs Tommy’s neck. Tommy’s eyes go wide as Calvary lifts him into the air! Calvary then brings Tommy down to the mat with a chokeslam!

The force of the chokeslam causes Tommy Wish to bounce off of the mat- where he is then caught in the air by Calvary! Calvary then slams Tommy back to the mat with a piledriver!

Calvary hooks Tommy’s leg and goes for the cover! Mr. Referee begins the count!



1!


















2!!























Kickout!


Bama: "I thought it was over! That alien just chokeslammed AND piledrived him!"


Vinnie Lane: "It’s going to take more than that to put Tommy Wish away, but precisely how much more can Tommy Wish endure?!”


Tommy Wish barely manages to kick out, and Calvary doesn’t seem too happy about it. Calvary picks Tommy Wish up and forces the smaller man to stand on his feet. Tommy Wish is wobbly, but he doesn’t need to stand for very long before Calvary is able to execute his trademark move: Justice, Righteousness, and Due Process! Calvary begins throwing a series of strikes starting with a punch to the gut, followed by an uppercut, and then finished off with a clothesline from hell! Tommy Wish lay completely still in the center of the ring, but instead of going for a pinfall Calvary decides to fly up to the top of one of the turnbuckles!

Calvary waits quite some time before Tommy Wish is able to pull himself back up to a standing position….but as soon as he does Calvary jumps off the top rope and hits Tommy with a diving superman punch!


Vinnie Lane: "THE CRUSADE! THIS COULD BE THE END OF IT!"


Bama: "Now he’s using flying to land his finishing moves! How is this legal?!"

Calvary hooks the leg after he lands the diving punch!



1!





















2!!




























3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Calvary

Bama: "Heck of a match Vinnie! HECK of a match!"


Vinnie Lane: "And a heck of a return to Anarchy by Calvary! And we're just getting started here tonight!”

Lord Raab - vs - "La Reina" Daniela Raye-Weathers Referee: Mika Hunt

Vinnie Lane: "Up next we have a brand new member of the Anarchy roster set to debut… against the MONSTER known as Lord Raab!"


Bama: "Could be a first AND last match to go against that psychopath.."

"Monster" by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain, wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them, Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers, black gloves on both of his hands. and wearing a black and green mask. He ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs, before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner, moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes, waiting for the match to start.

"Before I'm Dead" by kidneythieves hits the sound system as Daniela Raye-Weathers steps towards the ring, to a nice reception from the fans.


Bama: "She seems nice."

DING DING DING!!!

Right after the bell rings, the Green Diseased German Monster and the new member of Anarchy rush towards each other. A heated exchange of strikes takes place, some boxing strikes by Raab connect and Daniela-Raye weathers answers with some chops of her own! But Lord Raab takes the upper hand by charging La Reina and landing a jaw-jacking European Uppercut!


Vinnie Lane: "Ow, dude, that must have hurt! I know that by experience, Roxy hits me like that sometimes."


Bama: "You like it, Lane."

The Tennessee native is rocked back, and Lord Raab is quick to capitalize, bringing her down with a DDT! Daniela Raye-Weathers is feeling the effects of that hit, and Raab instantly goes for the cover!



1!






























2!!















No! La Reina with the kickout!


Lord Raab decides to go for a high-impact move. He forces Daniela to her feet and grabs her from behind at the waist…


Vinnie Lane: "He’s going to go for the German Suplex!"


Bama: "He’s looking to put her down for good… wait!"

… but La Reina won’t go down that easily! She struggles against the German wrestler’s hold and lands a few desperation elbow shots to Raab’s face! Raab has to release the grip just a bit, and La Reina leaps over his head to land behind him, taking him down with a beautiful inverted DDT!


Vinnie Lane: “Did she just do a BACKFLIP!?"


Bama: "That she did. A certified lucha libre talent!"

Daniela Raye-Weathers won’t waste the chance she’s just had, and immediately goes for the cover!

1!






























2!!















No! Lord Raab with the shoulder up!

La Reina gets to her feet and looks at the struggling Raab. She backs up a few steps as he waits for him to get fully up. Once she does, she charges at him with a Savant kick… NO! Raab ducks out of the way with a last-second reflex, and Daniela hits nothing but air! Raab won’t give her the chance to recover and lands a forearm to her spine, then lifts her up and brings her down with a back suplex!


Vinnie Lane: "Once more the tables have turned!"


Bama: "But let’s not count Daniela Raye-Weathers out just yet!"

This time Raab decides not to go for a quick pin. Instead, looking to wear La Reina down, he wraps her legs around his own, seeking to lock down the Sharpshooter!


Vinnie Lane: "He’s not going to allow her the chance to make a comeback!"


Bama: "Nor will Daniela give up just like that!"

La Reina struggles on the ground to break free, and shifts the weight of her body to her legs. Pushing with all her strength, she manages to free herself before Lord Raab can fully lock the Sharpshooter down! Raab staggers back, but immediately charges forth with a Clothesline… NO! Daniela ducks from underneath and turns Raab around before bringing him down with a lightning-fast swinging neckbreaker!


Vinnie Lane: "Ra’s Call! What an impressive comeback by La Reina!"


Bama: "Making honor to her name!"

La Reina is quick to capitalize, and goes for another cover!


1!






























2!!















No! Lord Raab with the kickout at the very last second!

Not without a certain degree of surprise, La Reina stares once more at the downed Green Diseased German Monster. The proverbial lightbulb lights up inside her head, and she decides to take to the air! She makes her way to the turnbuckle and begins to climb.


Vinnie Lane: "She wants to end this in a spectacular way!"


Bama: "Unlike you and Roxy!"


Vinnie Lane: "HEY!"


La Reina keeps her eyes fixed on Lord Raab, and after delivering a pose for the crowd’s reaction, she turns back and leaps in the air in a moonsault…


Vinnie Lane: "WHOA!"


Lord Raab has just rolled out of the way, and Daniela Raye-Weathers lands right in the canvas! Raab is now rising, and she tries to follow through her obvious pain. Raab is fully up to his feet and is quick to grip her neck! He lifts her up and drives her almost through the mat with a thunderous chokeslam!


Vinnie Lane: "THE CHOKINATOR! Lord Raab has hit the Chokinator and Daniela might be done!"


Bama: "No way she can kick out of that!"

Immediately after the high-impact move, Raab goes to cover La Reina!



1!






























2!!















THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! La Reina gets her shoulder up just milliseconds away before the referee’s hand falls for the third time!


Vinnie Lane: "You gotta be kidding me, dude!"


Bama: "Was that even a right count!?"

Lord Raab is absolutely livid! He looks at the referee in disbelief, but the official reasserts his decision! Raab has had enough, and wants to put this match to an end. He forces Daniela to her feet once more and puts her in a Double Underhook position. He means to lift her up for the Killerbuster!


Vinnie Lane: "He has to hit that and the match is over!"


But La Reina is showing signs of life! She wraps her legs about Lord Raab’s head, and puts all her strength for a headscissors takedown! Raab crumples to the mat, but Daniela has gained some valuable time!

Bama: "Daniela Raye-Weathers refuses to die!"

Both wrestlers are visibly exhausted, but La Reina summons whatever she has left to charge at Raab before he can react. The German wrestler has barely made it up to his feet before a boot hits his jaw!


Vinnie Lane: "Savant Kick by La Reina!"


Bama: "It’s payback time!"

Daniela shows off to the crowd and they start chanting her name!

“Rei-na!

Rei-na!

Rei-na!”

Pumped up by the reaction of the crowd, Daniela makes her way to the downed Raab and lifts him up to her shoulders in a torture rack!


Vinnie Lane: "She looks like she could wear him as a coat!"


Bama: "This might be over soon, Lane!"

La Reina brings down the Green Diseased German Monster in a Sit-Out Facebuster!


Vinnie Lane: "OSIRIS JUDGMENT CONNECTS!"


Bama: "Raab is done!"


1!






























2!!























3!!!

DING DING DING!!!

Vinnie Lane: "Wonderful performance by Daniela Raye-Weathers in her Anarchy debut!"


Bama: "She had to work for it, but came through in the end!"

Winner by Pinfall - "La Reina" Daniela Raye-Weathers

Barney Green - vs - Jason Cashe Brick Yard Brawl! Not ALL of Creal City is fully renovated... this match takes place not in a ring but in a partially constructed building area, surrounded by bricks and masonry! Referee: Lawanda Sass

"Realize" by ACDC plays as Barney Green opens a door and steps into the brickyard that is where the most recent construction has gone on. Barney lifts up a brick and chunks it into the arena. Hopefully it didn't hit a fan but who knows?!

"Ready or Not" by Fugees plays as that same door opens up and Jason Cashe steps into the brickyard. He takes off his sunglasses and flings them in the general direction of Barney before taking a hit off of his air blunt. He howls into the air before focusing on Barney.

DING DING DING!

The bell sounds as poor Lawanda Sass had to carry the ring bell all the way up the stairs to the rebuilt building portion of Kellogg’s Cereal City arena. It’s a brickyard brawl and Barney solidifies by what that means by just chunking the first brick he sees. It shoots off wide possibly partially due to Barney’s sight imperfection. Jason rushes towards Barney and just drills him with a snap jab dotting Barney on his chin before pulling his head down into his rising knee!


Vinnie Lane: “Barney’s got a tough chin, but Jason is hitting him fast and hard.”


Bama: “Barney is being overwhelmed by the offense!”


Barney staggers backwards into a partially constructed wall. He looks around himself and finds another brick. Jason moves in only to catch a swing of the brick right across the face! Jason staggers back as he feels his cheek where that hit him. Barney swings again, this time wilder allowing Jason to dodge the shot and with a stiff slap boxing hit! Barney is disoriented long enough for Jason to grab a leg and HEAVE Barney over his shoulder!

Exploder suplex!

Green slams down on the newly constructed floor which begins to give way to the damage! Barney very carefully gets back to his knees as Jason surveys the scene carefully.

Jason leaps towards Barney and hooks his head before driving him down with a DDT!


Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap!”


Bama: “That floor is going to give way if they keep at it like this!”


The floor begins to buckle once more! Jason tentatively stands up as Barney’s face is slammed into the partially finished flooring. Jason looks over the mortar and finds a trowel. He turns to Barney, but Barney is charging him! Barney nails a running shoulder charge sending Jason tumbling head of heels away from the floor. Jason starts to get up, but Barney quickly stops that with a quick punch to the throat!


INTELLIGENT DIVERSION!


Barney reaches down and grabs the trowel before moving towards Jason and driving the sharp end down onto his face!


Vinnie Lane: “Oh sick!”


Bama: “Is he going for an eye?! Camera man, get in there!”


Vinnie Lane: “And the inevitable blood is now there!”


Barney is driving the sharp side down onto the forehead of Cashe as blood begins to pour. Barney steps away from his victim before grabbing two bricks. He puts one onto the ground before laying Jason’s head on it. He climbs up onto the pile of bricks before leaping down!



BUT JASON MOVES!


The Conbrickto is unsuccessful as they blow clamber to their feet. Jason staggers Barney with another knee to the face before nailing him with a short-arm clothesline. Barney staggers back to his feet, but Jason rushes towards him with his shoulder lowered!

CRASH!


Vinnie Lane: “They just went through a wall!”


Bama: “Well, there goes our deposit.”


Vinnie Lane: “They knew we had scheduled a brick yard brawl. They knew what was coming.”


The two plow through the wall as the remnants of the bricks fall around them. Blood is now pouring from the back of Barney’s head as well as the front of Jason.

Jason pulls the seemingly lifeless body of Barney onto a wheelbarrow before taking a few steps back. He rushes towards him with his elbow leading the way!


MARK OF JASON!


The bullhammer shot nails Barney as he slumps off the wheelbarrow to the ground. The referee Lawanda Sass slides into picture and checks on Barney who seems still ready to go on. Jason quickly grabs him by his head and pulls him up. Barney spits in his direction!

Used tobacco clouds the eyes of Jason who is desperately trying to claw it all out of his vision. Barney nails him with a heabutt right to the nose as Jason staggers backwards before stumbling into the wheelbarrow. Barney sees that and moves around to the handle. He hoists it up and begins running forward. However, in looking down, he didn’t notice something up above.


DONG! An exposed beam clocks Barney as he falls onto a bed of bricks.


Vinnie Lane: “Boy, Barney sure is clumsy today.”


Bama: “Looks like he’s a little excited to be in a new playground.”


Vinnie Lane: “That’s probably going to swell up. Yikes.”


The wheelbarrow stumbles forward and slings Jason over towards the weakened floor. Cashe rises to his feet as he looks towards Barney with ill intentions in his mind. He grabs Barney and pulls him to his feet before moving him towards the floor.





Snap suplex!









THROUGH THE FLOOR!


Both men fall through the floor with the impact, but Barney seems to take the brunt of the fall as Jason fell on top of him! He slowly rises to his feet as the referee looks down at the carnage to see Jason standing tall. Barney isn’t responding at all!

Winner by TKO - Jason Cashe

Jason Cashe is barely standing on his own as he’s covered in blood, debris, and small pieces of brick.

After the match, cameras find an exhausted Jason Cashe walking gingerly in the backstage area...

As he passes a port-o-potty, the door flings open and hits him right in the face, knocking him for a loop!


Out of the port-o-potty jumps...

DA BING BONG TWINZ!!!


MC C-Munqqquee: "Yo we told yo ass we would see you! Gimme my shoes, bitch! Or just gimme your instead!"


Li'l Ca$h-App: "You a BITCH, bitch! Smellin' like a sewer! Let's clean this ugly punk up, bro!"


The Twinzz start beating the holy hell out of Cashe, and he has no chance to even defend himself from the sneak attack. C-Munqqquee pulls Jason's hoodie over his head and then Ca$h-App breaks a big hunk of plywood over his head, knocking him right out!


C-Munq takes off Cashe's sneakers and throws them in a trash can after making a face like he just smelled death itself. He then pulls out a pack of matches and lights one up... then tosses it into the can, which goes up in flames!


Li'l Ca$h-App pulls Jason Cashe up and the Twinzz toss him face first into the blue juice in the port-o-john's bowl. They slam the door on him and leave him there with his head in the pot as they exchange a high five and walk off.

CENTRUBION (Centurion & Ruby) - vs - The Moral Army of Godly Americans (Boots Lichter and O-Bay T-Law) Tornado Tag Team Rules! 1 RP Per Team! Referee: Chaz Bobo

Centurion comes down to the ring as "Wild Thing" by X plays. He rolls into the ring, ready to go.

Ruby rushes down to the ring as "Ruby" by Kaiser Chiefs plays. She slides into the ring and stands along side Centurion as they await their opponents.

"HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME" yells out across the arena as the dastardly duo of O.Bay T-Law and Bartholomew "Boots" Lichter make their way down to the ring. Boots is shaking hands along the way as O.Bay is eyeing the audience.

DING! DING! DING!

The bell sounds as these four combatants collide in the center of the ring! Centurion and Boots go head to head with a series of rights thrown directly at the other’s face! Ruby falls to the mat as O-Bay rushes her and nails a drop toe hold! T-Law’s face smashes into the mat as Ruby quickly leaps to the second rope and springs off for a dropkick! Centurion gets the better of Lichter with an uppercut knocking him into the corner. Centurion lifts Licher up onto the top rope backwards before hooking his arm. O-Bay is blasted backwards through the ropes as he falls to the floor! Ruby smiles at this before rushing the length of the ring before leaping over the top rope! Centurion falls from the top simultaneously with Boots!


TOPE CON SILO!


1000 MILE SLAM!

The team of Centrubion rise to their feet and point at each other in acknowledgement.


Vinnie Lane: “Referee Chaz Hobo is going to have trouble keeping up with this one! These guys are all over the place!”


Bam: “You mean Bobo?”


Vinnie Lane: “Oh true. Referee Bobo Hobo is going to keep his eyes peeled!”


Centurion goes and grabs Boots, but Bartholomew catches him with a thumb to the eye! Centurion staggers backwards trying to remove the politician infection. Ruby grabs O. Bay, but he rams her directly into the ring apron. She groans, but T-Law grabs her by the arms and flings her over his shoulder directly into the barricade! She slumps to the ground in a heap. T-Law slides into the ring and sees Centurion struggling with his eye. He rushes towards him and lifts a boot! Big Boot! Cent slams to the mat as T-Law and Boots smile at one another. Boots yells at T-Law who grabs Centurion in hold from behind, pinning his arms together. Boots slowly removes his tie and suit jacket.

He grabs the tie and wraps it around the throat of Centurion! T-Law holds him in place as Boots chokes the life out of him!


Bam: “Can he do that baby?!”


Vinnie Lane: “It’s tornado rules. That basically means there are no rules!”


Bam: “Then why do we even have referee Chaz Bobo out there? Just to count the fall?”


Vinnie Lane: “Who?”


Ruby comes back to life on the outside and quickly scampers back into the ring. She rushes towards Boots who moves out of the way! She nearly collides with Centurion, but she pumps the brakes. T-Law spits right into her face! She recoils as T-Law drops Cent and rushes towards her.

THE ARM OF THE LAW!

The clothesline from Hell just turned her inside out. T-Law covers her!

1!








2!!





NO! Kickout!

T-Law reaches behind himself and unclips something from his belt. He holds up the glistening silver cuffs as the crowd boos heavily.


Vinnie Lane: “HANDCUFFS BABY!”


Bama: “You sure do get excited when those come into play.”


T-Law grabs the handcuffs and slaps them onto Ruby, locking her hands around the bottom rope! Boots smiles and raises the hand of O.Bay T-Law as if he just gave him his full support. Boots reaches out towards the ring announcer and makes a motion. He’s handed a microphone.

Boots smiles as he brings the microphone to his old, crusty lips.

“Hello people of Michigan! I just wanted to personally thank you all for turning out here tonight. We’ve got a hot main event as you see here. I’d like to personally thank Centurion and Ruby for showing up unlike anyone under the age of thirty to the voting polls.”

The crowd naturally boos this. Bartholomew doesn’t seem perturbed by this at all.

“You see, O.Bay T-Law and I have come to this town to-”

Centurion spears Boots from behind as he folds backwards uncomfortably!


Vinnie Lane: “Thank god for that.”


Bama: “That felt like I changed channel to Fox News there for a moment.”


Vinnie Lane: “The only thing missing was a Critical Race Theory and how honorable Kyle Rittenhouse is.”


O.Bay T-Law is quick on the draw though. He leaps onto Centurion and begins whacking him across the back of the head with vicious forearms. T-Law grabs Centurion up, but Cent nails him with a stiff headbutt! The nose of T-Law is split open as blood begins gushing, and his eyes are welling up. Centurion hooks the arm of T-Law, spinning him out before pulling him back into a V-Trigger! T-Law slumps to the mat as Centurion turns his attention to Boots.

Boots begins crawling away as he gets to the ropes. Centurion slowly pursues in almost horror movie fashion.

LOW BLOW!

T-Law nails him from behind! Boots manages to get his hair back into place before stepping back and wrapping his hands around the throat of Centurion. T-Law grabs his legs as they fall to the mat. The two begin mugging Centurion as Boots chokes him as T-Law stomps on him furiously. Ruby is trying to break free, but she’s helpless. T-Law sees this and begins walking towards her. He kicks her across the face playfully before pointing at her to Boots. Boots is too busy choking the life out of Centurion to notice.

T-Law reaches down and grabs Ruby by the face, smooshing her cheeks as he begins talking down to her. She just takes it for a moment before raising her hands, free!


Vinnie Lane: “Well that was a magic trick!”


Bama: “Looks like it was T-Law who got frisked there!"


Vinnie Lane: “Oh yeah! You can see the key in the handcuffs!”


Ruby nails him with a kick the midsection followed by a leaping cutter!

RUBY CUTTER!

T-Law goes down and he goes down hard! Ruby rushes across the ring and nails a running kick to the back of Lichter’s head! He staggers forward clutching his head. He turns to see Ruby and stomps towards her.

SLAP!

Vinnie Lane: “Did… did he just pimp slap Ruby?”

Bama: “I… I think he did.”

Ruby doesn’t move her feet, but her hair covers her face before she slowly pulls it back out of her face. Centurion slowly rises beside her as Boots' confidence quickly subsides. He looks for T-Law, but he’s still out cold across the ring. Centurion grabs him by the arms and hold him in place as Ruby rears back and…

SLAP!

She slaps him back as he openly groans. Centurion grabs him by his legs and flips him onto his back before flipping him over into the Boston crab! Ruby ascends the top rope!

THE FALL OF ROME!

RUBY IN THE ROUGH!

THE FALL IS ROUGH!



Ruby nails the moon stomp onto Boots Lichter while he’s being held in the Boston crab! Centurion yanks back on the hold! Blooding is pooling underneath the face of Boots as he reaches out faintly.



AND TAPS OUT!

Winners by Submission - Centrubion

Centurion releases the hold as the referee holds up the hands of Centurion and Ruby who celebrate on their own corners of the ring.

Vinnie Lane: “Bama, I hope you’re ready for tonight’s main event, because I sure am!”


Bama: “Oh heck yeah baby this one’s gonna knock the roof right off this here building tonight!”


Vinnie Lane: “Elijah Martin has proved he can get down and dirty and he’s also proven that he can grapple with the best of them, that’s why he’s the Anarchy Champion, but sometimes size DOES matter!”


Bama: “That’s what ol’ Ozzy is gonna try to come out here and prove right now!”

Elijah Martin - vs - Big Money Oswald Ladder Match! The Anarchy Championship will be hung from the rafters and the winner will have to use one of the MANY ladders provided to reach up and get it! Referee: Ari Silverstein

His music hits, soon the ramp opens up and slowly Oswald begins to rise. His ornate cane planted in the platform, dressed to the nines like always. The crowd starting to chant "MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! " Once he was equal to the stage, he flung open his arms to form a t, letting out a loud roar, before grinning as he steps forward, making his way as he slowly unbuttons his suit jacket, his tie, his dress shirt, and unbuttoning the Billion Dollar Championship belt, handing it, his clothes, and the cane, to one of his servants as it appears as he takes his stance to get ready to face off against his opponent.


Vinnie Lane: “I’m not 100% sure dude but I think Oswald is even bigger tonight than he was last time I saw him. Is that even possible?”


Bama: “We might have to go get some taller ladders Vin, that boy is almost tall enough to reach the belt all on his own!”






The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way. After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.

He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.


Vinnie Lane: “I guess one more employee in the sound truck has to get let go…”


Bama: “And the little homie Jungle is a garden to me! What's the problem, B? You not as hard as me, N-”


Vinnie Lane: “NO. Bama. No. Please.”


Bama: “Nerd.”


Vinnie Lane: “Maybe… but either way, we’ve got better things to worry about right now! Like THE Anarchy Champion, Elijah Martin! Bammer have you seen Elijah’s girlfriend? We are talking gem mint ten. She ight be Madness Champion soon!”


Bama: “Oh I seent her for sure, Vin-Man, and you ain’t wrong! What a pretty picture that would make. Imagine the double-champion boudoir photoshoots!”


Vinnie Lane: “Uhhh… yeah. Anyway, let’s get this party started!”

DING! DING! DING!!!

Ari calls for the bell after linking the Anarchy Championship to a carabiner and watching it get raised up into the air. Ring techs finish up surrounding the ring with ladders and scurry off as Martin and Big Money walk toward each other in the center of the ring.

Martin shoves Money, but Money doesn’t budge! Martin laughs it off and sends a hard forearm into Ozzy’s face, which gets the big man to at least take a step back, caught off guard by the shot. Big Money doesn’t stay on his heels long though and he plants both palms into Elijah’s chest, shoving him backwards onto his rear end.

Martin laughs as he stands back up, clapping his hands and giving Ozzy a sarcastic “Bravo.” Ozzy nods along until Elijah cracks him across the jaw with a right hand… aided by a pair of brass knuckles!


Vinnie Lane: “Elijah Martin came prepared! No DQs in a ladder match, Bama!”


Bama: “That’s just smart, Vinnie, Elijah knew the rules and he knew the size difference… the man is a champion for a reason!”


Oswald doesn’t go down from the first shot, instead stumbling backward into the ropes. Elijah drills him a second time with the knucks, then a third, and finally a fourth big right sends Big Money crashing to the canvas!

Martin is fired up as Ozzy struggles up to his hands and knees. Oswald plants a foot into the mat and gets to one knee, and Elijah looks for a brass knuckles superman punch - but Oswald catches him with a hand around his throat! Ozzy stands and heaves Martin all the way across the ring into the opposite turnbuckles like he was chucking a shot put in the Olympics.

Ozzy gets a head of steam and charges into the corner, crashing into Martin with a huge standing splash. Ozzy then backs up from the corner and lets Martin flop down onto his front, flattened by the impact.


Bama: “What a splash! I think the dang ring scooted over an inch or two Vinnie!”


Vinnie Lane: “It may have, Bammer, that was a whole lot of human being hitting the corner at top speed!”


Oswald steps over the top rope and hops down to the ringside floor, grabbing a ladder and closing it up flat before sliding it back into the ring between the first and second ropes. He then grabs the top rope and steps up onto the apron in one simple motion, steps back over the top rope and into the ring, and then grabs the ladder and points it vertically with its top landing pointed straight down.

Stepping over Martin, Oswald plants the ladder right into the small of Martin’s back with high velocity. Martin wails and leans his head up from the impact, and then rolls onto his back, opening himself up. Ozzy puts a boot onto Martin’s forehead to hold him in place, then lifts the ladder up once again before swinging it downward toward Elijah Martin’s solar plexus.

Elijah catches the ladder with both hands and prevents the attack from landing! He follow up by thrusting the ladder back upwards, and it clips Ozzy on the chin, sending him flailing and onto his back.

Elijah gets up from the mat, pressing his hand into his back for a second before leaning over and grabbing the dropped ladder, lifting it up and leaning it on his shoulder like a Louisville slugger. When Ozzy sits up, Martin swings the ladder right into his face and lays him out flat!


Vinnie Lane: “Wow what a shot! That could have been a hole in one!”


Bama: “Well it was almost a hole in Big Money’s neck where his head used to been!”


Elijah plants the ladder down onto the mat beneath the title belt but it’s wobbly and bent from the impact to Ozzy’s head, so he has no choice but to discard it over the top rope and hop out for another.

With the second ladder set up, Martin starts to climb. He gets about halfway when Oswald pops up from the mat, his face streaming with blood, and grabs the bottom of the ladder with Elijah still on it!

Oswald lifts the ladder right up off the mat and walks it over to the side of the ring while Martin can do nothing but cling to the rungs for dear life… and then Oswald tosses the whole kit n’ kaboodle over the ropes and into a trio of other ladders set up at ringside!


Bama: “He just tossed out the baby with the bathwater!”


Vinnie Lane: “That is UNGODLY strength from Big Money Oswald! How did he do that, dude?”


Big Money stands directly under the dangling belt and reaches up for it, but it’s out of is reach. He cusses under his breath and heads out of the ring toward the pile of ladders and limbs where Elijah Martin is and shoves over another ladder onto the pile, laughing.

Big Money grabs a ladder and starts moving to re-enter the ring, but stops when the bottom of the ladder seems snagged on something. He pulls it, but it won’t move. He looks confused, and then the ladder itself is yanked out of his hands and pulled partway under the ring!

Oswald growls and bends down, tossing up the ring skirting to look under the ring… and he gets blasted in the face with a fire extinguisher’s thick white cloud! Oswald is sent reeling and staggering back into the guard rail, and he trips over a ladder rung and gets his giant foot stuck in there, twisting his ankle and eliciting a howl of pain as Elijah crawls out from under the ring, still spraying the extinguisher.


Bama: “The oldest hardcore trick in the book from the Anarchy Champ! GOT EEEEEEM!”


Vinnie Lane: “He sure did get him, Bammer! Big Money looks like he just stepped out of a Brazzers video!”


Elijah tosses the emptied fire extinguisher onto Oswald’s torso with authority, then grabs a ladder and slides it into the ring under the bottom rope. He follow and sets it up in the middle of the ring, and starts climbing up… but about two thirds up he gets caught with a fire extinguisher getting thrown into his ribs like a high heat fastball!

Martin twists over in agony but doesn’t fall off of the ladder, instead just clinging to it as his legs go limp from the pain. Big Money limps into the ring and makes his way over, then sticks his head in between Martin’s legs and has him set up for a huge powerbomb!


Vinnie Lane: “This could kill a man, Bama! And after that rib shot, Elijah is already in big big trouble here!”


Bama: “Look at Big Money, Vinnie! He ain’t just gonna bomb him from ring level, he wants more!”


Indeed, Big Money climbs up the ladder rungs backward, hooking Elijah’s legs over his burly shoulders as he does. He gets most of the way up the ladder and starts to lift Elijah up for a powerbomb from the top of the ladder…

ELIJAH MARTIN LOCKS IN A TRIANGLE CHOKE!!!


Bama: “Holy crap Vinnie! Big Money’s scalp just turned purple!”


Vinnie Lane: “That choke is locked in DEEP, Bama! You can already see Ozzy fading! It doesn’t matter how strong you are if your brain can’t get any oxygen!”


Big Money starts to wobble and his knees weaken, and as he starts to sway back and forth Elijah Martin reaches up with one hand and grabs onto the Anarchy Championship. Martin tugs on the belt but it stays put in its moorings.

After a few more seconds, Big Money’s eyes roll back into his skull and he lurches forward. For one tense second the Anarchy belt on its hook is the only thing holding both men from falling… and then it releases!

Oswald falls forward and Elijah Martin goes with him, slamming down onto his back with a spine rattling powerbomb that loosens his hold on the triangle choke. Big Money himself is out cold from the choke, and the impact from the fall has Martin seeing stars as well… but the Anarchy Title is in his hand!

Ari Silverstein checks on both men and then calls for the bell!

Winner by Belt Retrieval - Elijah Martin

Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap dude! Talk about winning by the skin of your teeth… both of these guys are beaten into dreamland, but Elijah Martin managed to come down from that huge ladder with the gold in his fingers!”


Bama: “I simply cannot believe it Vinnie I have never seen a thing like that before!”


Vinnie Lane: “Folks that was some outstanding action! And before we sign off, we’ve got one more BOMBshell for you… an announcement from none other than YOUR Commissioner of Anarchy… SARAH LACKLAN!”


Bama: “WHAT!?”


The camera pans away from the desk…

While the no-doubt chaotic scene within what USED to be known as Cereal City, similarly no doubt full of Anarchy because that’s the name of the show, slows down after what was certainly a suitable Pier 6-worthy brawl in that ladder match for the Anarchy Championship, the VINNIE-TRON flares to life to reveal the ghostly-white face and bright red makeup belonging to none other than-



HIIIIIII-iiiiiiii!

This is your reason for being, the person who has won more XWF gold than even YOU can deadlift, Oswaldo, the perennial 1st place in the Lacklan Sibling Talent Show, the-

🎶🎶🎶WORLD’S GREATEST LIFE COACH🎶🎶🎶

-and most importantly right this second-

YOUR

ANARCHY

COMMISSIONER

And I know, I know. Some peeps in a curtain-jerking tag team are all “SARAH YOU GOT BEAT UP BY ONE OF OUR FELLOW PRELIMINARY ACTS” but this isn’t about the past! This is about the FUTURE! This is about PROGRESS. Because you all KNOW how much I hate when people drone on and on and on about shit that happened long ago and-

🎶We don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no! We don't talk about Brunoooooo!🎶

...hold on, I have an alarm going off…one sec…oh! It’s my daily reminder to shoot Corey a text. One sec….let’s see…let’s go with this compilation gif of shmo’s tapping out to women who are smothering them….annnnnnnnnd SENT!

Okay, where was I….oh! The FUTURE! And know what the FUTURE of the BEST brand of XWF wrestling is?

Ready for it?

Annnnnnnnnnnd

The Inaugural Sarah Lacklan Plump Pigeon Tournament!

That’s right, ladies and gents, Mama Tournaments has decided that it’s Anarchy’s turn to have a killer tournament! The rest of the company gets the March Madness Royalty of the Ring (which I won!), and the Tag Team Tournament (which I won!), and the Survivor gimmick (which I was MVP!), and you can even toss in the Leap of Faith if you want to quibble (won that one too, LOL!). But Anarchy is always left out in the cold unless it’s some open battle royal for Drezdin’s shoe money, or something (I won THAT, too. #SarahWinsLOL), but not in the future! Nope! It’s time WE get to show ALL of the XWF just what Anarchy is made of, and you will, naturally, have me, YOUR Commish, to thank for you.

#YoureWelcome

Now, before someone down there starts going “SARAH WHAT ARE TEH RULEZ” I’ll get there, okay? Sign-ups will be in my office soon!

Love you all bunches. Oh, and I didn’t exactly sign off on spending extra money to keep those security guards on the clock after midnight, so hurry up and get out of that dilapidated building before something bad happens!


The Tron fades with Sarah’s beaming smile somehow lingering an extra moment like a cheshire cat’s.


Vinnie Lane: “That’s it! You heard the lady, Bama, let’s get the heck outta dodge! See you all next time on ANARCHY!”


Anarchy fades!

SPECIAL THANKS: Sarah Lacklan Raion Kido Charlie Nickles Calvary

After finally recovering from his match, he began to throw bolted down chairs and benches before speaking straight down the camera as he noticed the XWF camera man investigate the loud noises.

"I WANT A FUCKING REMATCH! YOU HEAR ME, VINNIE AND SARAH!?

THAT WEASEL BARELY WON! I showed the goddamn world that he is a paper champion! I had the belt and he decided to fucking choke me out to win it!

I want him in a PINFALL ONLY type of match! I don't care if it's a cage, cell, best of three, or go fucking old school and do a dog collar match. I don't give a FUCK!

You know that he's not worthy of wearing that belt and I know, for a goddamn fact, I will beat him! No submission wins, only pinfalls!"

He growls as he looks down the camera, almost pressing his face into the lens.

"You are wearing a title that doesn't belong around your waist, boy, and I WILL take it from you."